It takes a great man to accept his faults. It takes a greater man to know how to cure them. Deus was once a great man. How does a heart once so full of purity, fall to madness? Why must the horrors of this world come upon his shoulders? Why must he fight alone? Why doesn't he even trust himself? Who is Deus? Deus is one who was once something more. Deus now, is nothing but a shadow of the man he used to be. A shadow, that wants nothing more than escape. But what price is he willing to pay for his true happiness? Will it be worth it?
Chapters (3)
You have some interesting world-building going on here. I found it a little hard to identify with Deus right away, since I'm still not sure what kind of person he is (or if he's likeable), and you kind of throw the reader into the deep end as far as your world goes, not giving too much explanation of the Mages and whatnot. (I know that part is hard to do, because you don't want the entire first chapter to be exposition that explains how your world works to the reader.)
You haven't gotten to the ponies yet, which makes it hard for me to judge that aspect of the story.
Overall, I liked the creativity on display in your intro, but since it's really just the very beginning of the tale, we don't get too much of an idea about what shape the story is going to take, and only a sketch of the kind of person your protagonist is.
The writing itself is good (though there are a few grammatical errors scattered here and there). You are able to set a scene and get into your main character's head.
Gotta wait and see where the story goes before I give it a like or a dislike.
Also through the story who is the hay was narrating the story at some parts.
EDIT: And longest intro ever before the pony show up.
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The narrator is at some points throughout the story Omnipotent, as in all knowing, not always someone specific. I will try harder to distinguish a switch in narrators in the future.
As for the story well... you will just have to wait and see
good story so far.
can't wait to read the next chapter.