• Published 24th Apr 2013
  • 323 Views, 10 Comments

Misadventures Of Pony Writings. - DashyJ



Where the death of stories begins. AKA: Scrap Files.

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Incognito Brony Test

Rarity was bored. The monotonous ticking of her clock and her cat occasionally scratching at the furniture was especially annoying today. She in a rut. Seemingly nothing could break her out of this pickle.

With a unlady-like frustrated grunt she stormed out of her inspiration room.

Grabbing a wrench in her telekinesis she threw it out the window in The hopes that she would hit some random passerby. Hearing a scream of agony Rarity smiled and trotted down her stairs.

Looking to her table there were a many miscellaneous items. Some too graphic for mention... No not that you sick fucks.

On her table she flung her various Lyra plushies onto the floor. Basically SHE THREW IT ON THE GROUND!

With her ears steaming she ground her teeth in a fit of rage. Flipping her table and cursing. "FUCK, SHIT, PISS, ASS, JEAUS MONKEY SHIT! IM HUNGRY!" She never knew why but Rarity always got angry when she was hungry. Maybe because she watched the Lion King too much as a filly.

Thrusting her face into the fridge door Rarity looked around. There was salad, cucumbers, and hay. What actual horses eat. Regardless she opted for the hay. Because that's what horses eat. Hay.

Now filling her belly with HAY Rarity felt gey. Once again not that gay its not a typo so you go to hell! (Insert AsaIn accent here)

Looking out the window she noticed her friend Pinkie Pie. My how she has gotten fat. Rarity thought to herself. "Pinkie Pie!" Rarity screamed out the window. "Would to like to go fishing? You can be my boat... Because your fat!" Rarity exclaimed giggle in her forehooves, then immediately plucked her alabaster head inside before the massive, fat, rotund, and plump pink pony could evoke her fat wrath upon her head.


Later throughout the day Rarity had continually pissed the the common town folk. Throwing comments such as: "YOUR A FAT ASS!" And "MY DEAR YOU LOOK SO UTTERLY HIDEOUS IN THAT FASHION ATTIRE " regardless of whether they were actually wearing clothing.

Coming back to her house Rarity noticed a scroll on her kitchen table.

It simply read:

Brony Test:

1. When winter is over you:
A: wrap it up
B: let nature do its thing
C: wish it was winter again

2. Do you know what cupcakes im talking about?:
A: uhh the frosted ones?
B: i dont even wanna talk about it!
C: BETTER GET READY TO DIE!

3. If you were any kind of equine what would you be?:
A: Pegasus
B: Unicorn
C: Earth bound
D: this is a stupid question

4. No party is a super-duper-awesome-fantastical party without:
A: baloons
B: booze
C: women
D: all of the above

5. Have you heard of Baloon party?:
A: no
B: yes
C: do you mean knife party?

6. Things are better when:
A: they are a Rarity
B: they are gone
C: you have them

7: Applejack is everyones favourite cereal right?:
A: i see what you did there
B: what? I dont like Applejack's
C: pff cereal
D: sure why not.

8. To break the sound barrier is:
A: Sonic Rain-Boom!
B: impossible
C: im getting tired of these questions

9. If your name was Pinkie what would you want to do all the time?:
A: cut myself
B: buy PINK!
C: make my friends smile smile smile

10. What do you fear most?
A: spiders
B: magic kindergarden for failing my mentor
C: failure
D: the dark

11. When somebody trys to block:
A: show them that you rock!
B: gently tip-toe around them? If not try tomorow?
C: FOOTBALL


12. Friendship is:
A:friendship?
B: i dont have friends
C: magic
D: dude this test is retarded im done

After Rarity had finished her test mysteriously placed on her table she looked at the next scroll which had the answers on them.




Answer key:
1: A
2: B or C
3: A, B or C
4: A or D
5: B
6: A
7: A
8: A
9: C
10: B
11: A or B
12: C

If the person scored 10/12 or higher you have a true brony

9-7/12: Casual brony

6/12 or lower you have someone who either knows what they are a hater or your just lucky.

0? Just leave please.

Rarity of course score a perfect score.

Of 0.

The. A dinosaur broke out of her closet and ate her. And the rest of the town was happy once more.

Author's Note:

So if you were not a brony and given this test would you have know. That this was a My Little Pony test? And also thank you to Chrysaor for the help and moral support of this pile of shit. Props to you sir.