Saron, an eighteen year old, male, unicorn, is a musical prodigy that only comes once in a thousand years.He spends his days on the side of an alleyway playing with the only item left over from his youth, an old broken and battered flute.
This story is anthro, mainly because it would be easier for me to explain how he is playing music with hands,
instead of magic.
tags/content rating subject to change, as i am not really sure where im going with this, but once i do ill change content rating to the appropriate setting.
Chapters (2)
Patience is hard to come by when A.) You cannot capitalize the letter I when it's on its own, and B.) you use *'s to describe actions.
None of that *smiles* *snickers* *laughs* bull-crap. You came here to write, so WRITE! Show, don't tell!
They have a writer's guide, why not use it? I'm sure ith has plenty of useful pointers for up-and-coming writers like you.
2503132 Well I went back and fixed the I's, and I tried to fix some of the "emotes" that you had mentioned, i stopped trying to make later on in the chapter...its just so normal for me. And since i'm still not used to writing I tend to skip over small stuff like I's a lot sorry bout that should be fixed now. Did you at least like the content?
2503428I was struggling to read it. I'll get to it later.
2503428
Don't let beginner's mistakes discourage you. So long as you learn from them, you WILL improve, I promise you. Like Nekosama321 mentioned, take advantage of the writing guide on this website, there is plenty of useful stuff there. Whatever happens: keep calm, and flutter on!
Shouldn't there be a human tag?
toe, fingers, face palm? All these traits belong to humans and not ponies.
I'll be watching this to see what happens though.
Hm. Well, I have no idea what's going on, but this is a prolog so, I understand. There were numerous grammar problems in different parts of this chapter. Namely with commas and random spaces and non-spaces as well. I didn't really see any spelling errors so that's a good start. I would remove that youtube url and replace it with a link to a symbol or word. Having the entire url in the middle of the sentence is distracting. It needs some work but nothing you can't improve with a little practice.
2691579 Dear lord that url! i did not mean to do that at all! it was supposed to be a hyperlink! D: ill fix that right away thank you for telling me. As for the grammar errors....what can i say i suck at english...even though its my first language and i have no editor :T.
2691579 Fixed it!
Roughly sane issues in this one as the prolog. A few "I's" need capitalized as well. You also may want to capitalize your entire title, it makes it look better. Other then that, all you need is practice and whatnot.
Also, it's spelled Fleur, not Fluer. As the head of the Fleur de Lis group, I have the right to complain about this.
Still, I look forward to seeing where this goes
2692607 Woopsies~ ill get right on fixing that
thanks for the input! 
Love the ending!
Nice story you have here!
3033690 Oh my...well thank you~...
why you no continue?
no no no No No NO NO NONONONO NO!
I like the reference but it is a bit too on the nose
I also really like this story, I like the way it's written, I like the main character and I like the premise and plot.
Keep the chapters coming!😁