Everything in Ponyville is fine, in fact, it better then fine. It's great! Everypony is going about their daily lives without a care in the world.
Until a certain Griffon shows up unexpectedly, seeking forgiveness...
Can a yellow Pegasus find it in her heart to forgive her past transgressions?
Can an old friendship be mended?
Will Ponyville accept it's newest inhabitant?
Only time will tell. Because everybody deserves a second chance, don't they?
A/N A remake of the first fanfic I ever wrote, which I didn't upload here for obvious reasons. Mainly because it's really terrible. However, I feel like I've learned enough since then to do it justice.
Chapters (9)
I'm looking forward to see how this goes, you seem off to a great start.
Ok, this is pretty good
My only real complain so far is that this is heading to GildaShy territory (just can't imagine those 2 together permanently), but I'm really interested to see what kind of dark and sad past has led Gilda to her current state of body and mind.
Can't wait for the next chapter
Ok, so here goes nothing ;)
did like:
The action was well portrayed and the pacing within the chapter was good.
Fluttershy not leaving her side and trying to reason feels well in character, also how Gilda
first trys to reason with the attackers and only even considers mortal force after nothing else worked.
did not like:
These ponies seem way to aggressive... why would they want to KILL her right away?
maybe she made some enemies on her first visit, but you don't get killed for stealing an apple and being rude,
(also this is ponies we are talking about, I don't consider them way more aggressive then humans)
Well yeah... and now what bugged me the most...
hmmmmm.... unknown pegasus... strange color scheme... seems to know Gilda somehow...
No... you wouldn't, would you?
...
looks at avatar
...
no... no no no no no.... horseapples...
Why?... please don't get me wrong... OCs can be cool, but this smells like a self-insert.
I just remembered a very good story "Gilda and Lies" that was completely KILLED by the self-insert that the writer shoved into it.
First few chapters, he was always in the background, in the end he had more lines then all other characters combined...
Its your story, but please don't make the same mistake...
Well, that sounded a lot more negative than it was intended to...
Otherwise this is still pretty good and again, this is just my opinion.
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Your lack of faith wounds me sir...
Joking aside, allow me to put your mind at ease. No, this in not a "Self-insert", while... that mare may be mentioned, I can assure that this is not her story. Think of it - if you will - as two sides of the same coin.
In regards to your other concerns. All will be explained in the coming chapters.
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Thy shall be sure of my trust in this adventure, sire
nah, sorry, only bad experience, is all.
I'm looking forward to whats coming
Trial in Absentina?
News Censorship!
What has Equestria come to?
Wow. no hearing or trial. Must be because she is a Griffon and doesn't have the same rights as a pony.
2874384>>2875461
Twist: Equestria is to blame for the rising instability. They've gone full-on 1984 police state and their government is now attempting to extend their control to the Griffons and perhaps the rest of the world. None of the rest of the ponies have heard about this because: full-on police state. The mob knew about the incident but not Twilight's friends because she is REALLY good at her job and orchestrated the attack on Gilda in the first place (she was also responsible for Gilda's lack of hearing or trial). Why? It is all part of her scheme to assume control of the Griffons and beyond.
Luna and possibly Celestia are being kept in the dark about all this. Twilight Sparkle is now running the show. She has grand plans for their world.
Best chapter so far
Really liked the "We had this conversation several times before" thing and many more small details here.
The pacing is still in rainboom-mode, but otherwise this is getting better and better!
It's kinda.. dark don't you think?
It feels like it deserves the dark tag.
2939197 True. Although I didn't feel that it was needed. While it's not all sunshine and rainbows, I'm not going to dive into horrific depictions of mutilations.
Besides, this story is far too short for that. Well, that and the fact that I already have one dark romance under my belt, and adding another might scare people off, or give them the wrong idea.
Wait is this actually over? or did you just put the wrong tag on?
I must admit I like the concept of the character Gretchen, her dad seems like a total dick though. You have me feeling sypathy and backing for her. Also there seems to be so much room for expansion and exploration that I am worried the pace will shoot right past some wonderful oppertunities to delve deeper into the backstory of this fantastic world you've created. The anticipation to see whats next is killing me :D
...huh?
This was doing pretty well until this chapter, such an extremely violent mob makes absolutely no sense. It seems like a poorly executed plot device in order for something "bad" to happen to Gilda and introduce conflict because the main draws of a "Gilda apologizes" plotline were resolved too quickly and easily.
3410982 I guess you can't please everyone. Still, thanks for stopping by.
I feel I must explain why I am disliking the story if I am giving a dislike. For one thing i feel the story did not explain alot of things it should have and it failed to do much in the epilogue to explain any questions I had throughout the story. also that the whole gilda becoming a princess thing was out of place I mean, wasn't this about gilda getting forgiven at first? This was just my thought prossess on why I gave it a dislike, not saying that I think this is the worst story ever written but, It failed to meet my expectations, but hey it's not like you need to cater to me.
romance yes? what is the pairing?
by the way, i haven't read it yet, that's why i'm asking
Looks like Someone has playing fable 3