Follow Ashley, former queen of the changelings, as she tries to mingle with the ponies she always regarded as food and to change her life.
This is a spin-off of my other story Armor for Two, taking place between its last two chapters.
As always, constructive criticism is well accepted.
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This should be good.
2465267
Glad you like it
OH HELLS YEAH
Not bad. Are you going to get an editor this time, or are you going to continue with your misspellings, incorrect word usages, and awkward phrasing?
Don't get me wrong; I do like the story. It's just that in the last story, I often cringed at the grammar errors and the unnatural dialogue. There were even a few lines I couldn't understand at all.
2466947
I actually have an editor already, as I told you, and both of us don't really see such terrible grammar, I'm sorry
2467046 So you have. I can see a large improvement, but there's still room for more. For example, you still have an unacceptable number of punctuation errors. Punctuation inside the quotation marks is especially lacking. You need to end your sentences with periods, even when in quotes, and... well, maybe I should just link you to someone who explains it better.
This should help explain dialogue punctuation better. In fact, why don't you and your editor read the whole thing? It's something everyone should read, regardless of how good their grammar is. Even I, a grammar perfectionist, learned a thing or two.
And you still need to have someone go back and fix the other story.
2467272
I'll read it for sure (as soon as I have time
) thanks
For the other story, yeah, I really should, but we (me and my editor) are both very busy with university... it will be done sooner or later...
Ashley bumps into Lyra and Bon Bon. Interesting choice. I wonder who else she will meet before she is found out.
2495976
Unfortunately I'm a bit busy so it will take a bit to see the next chapter
Well, this happened sooner than I expected. Let's see what Lyra and Bon Bon do next.
Don't worry about being late. Interesting. I wonder how the welcome party is going to go. Especially, if the Mane 6 are there. I also wonder where the real Octavia is? She probably got captured during that fight in Canterlot. Boy, is Vinyl going to hear it, once Octavia is rescued.
It was a bit uncomfortable to read because you still need an editor. Also, I'm quite sure there's a better, more compelling way to show "Octavia's" status as an impostor; something not quite so blunt as actually saying it. I can't help you with that, though.
2682118
Oh, you'll see all of this very soon
2685074
Yeah, I agree that I've been blunt, but it needed to be clear for the events in the next chapters...
Why she didn't pester Chrysalis about that ?xD
2736147
This story is set before Chryssy transfers the hive in Crystal City, so she has no way to pester her XD
Figures Twilight would figure out that 'Ashen Sky' was a changeling. She has to be more careful.
Octavia as changeling huh interesting. I though Ashley will do something about that or anything but ... lets see how it will roll
2821511
Well, Ashley may have lost her title, but she still knows that what Octaling is doing is a necessity... Yet, she may take some action in the next chapters
2821515
I'm waiting more for Lyra antics. Maybe she will start pranking ponies :P
How come I have the feeling that 'Octavia' is going to kidnap the wrong 'Ashen Sky'?
2823127
Maybe it will be that, maybe not, I won't tell you before time
It looks like the 'rescue party' is going to the wrong place. I wonder what 'Octavia' is going to be like when she finds out she took the wrong 'Ashley'?
2897768
Well, Ashley knows the location of the hive, so they'll eventually arrive
About Octaling, you'll see
Lyra is with Cadance and Chrysalis and Ashley, Bon Bon, and Vinyl just freed Octavia from a cocoon in the hive. Let the confusing explanations commence.
Huh i don't remember anything about Ashley eyesight
2994208
She's wearing Vinyl's shades.
2994755
Yeah but that changeling said if she had something with eyesight before it
"...Remember me to kill you". is not a proper use of "Remember". I believe you meant "Remind". If you're attempting to use 'remember' as a transitive verb, it becomes "Remind the [object] of me".
2994760
He assumed Vinyl's shades were prescription, and Ashley's. He continues to hold this delusion through the duration of the chapter, and is never actually corrected.
2994762
Thank you
2994760
It's from the previous stroy, when the changelings were arriving at the Crystal Empire.
So, is Vinyl still going to be able to get a new 'carpet'?
2999828
Unluckily for her, no
, at least not that one in particular... Maybe asking Chryssy...
Number Four is seriously going to need to see a doctor after all this.
Sometimes, I think Vinyl would have made a great Element of Laughter.
: HEY!
3261529
Well, I think so... But maybe she is, in some alternate dimension... Actually, that could be a great idea
Happily Ever After. I understand life gets in the way. Take your time, but not too much.
3261559
Eh, sorry
Awww........its over.......Ah well, this was an amazing story! Thanks for writing it!
3262280
My pleasure if you enjoyed it
And by the way I plan a sequel centered on Chryssy and Cadence
(even if it won't be out anytime soon 
)
Lyra to the rescue!
That went well.
Pfft, great timing, Vinyl.
Octaling!
Well, that went well, I was half expecting Pinkie just being there and staring her in the face when she woke up.
Welp, prepare to be violated for science, Ashley.
Pinkie tide!
Inb4 HIVE BRAWL!
I hope that the shape shift spell is at least much more demanding for ponies and requires much, much more mana than for changelings.