38. You think the play’s about rocks?
The Tale of Lord Barleycorn
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Chapter 38: You think the play’s about rocks?
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The doctor had slammed the door to his clinic several minutes ago, but it was already a distant memory. His heated words with Princess Twilight’s friends and his accosting of the field spirit were forgotten in favor of listening to Lord Barleycorn’s strange tale.
If anypony had any lingering concerns about the field spirit taking offense at a member of their community, all they had to do was look at the foot of the stage. The spirit was sitting just off to the side, barely within view as she contentedly worked to devour a pumpkin pie.
Despite Twilight’s gentle prompting, she and Applejack couldn’t get Rainbow to speak any further on the subject of Cherry Nova. Awkward silence fell on the three mares, and with nothing else to focus on, Twilight found herself drawn into Lord Barleycorn's story. Though she had initially dismissed it in favor of speaking to the rag pony and Rainbow, Twilight was swiftly captivated by his performance. She was thoroughly impressed by the scarecrow’s inflections as he spoke for each character and how he pantomimed some of the actions when it came to these character’s daring and desperate attempt to escape their metal prison. To say she was stunned when it was revealed the prisoners were naught but dolls at an orphanage charity drive was an understatement not just for her, but every other pony in attendance as well.
The way he called these characters ‘unloved, but perhaps only for the moment’ gave Twilight pause to wonder where her old Smarty Pants doll had disappeared to. The toy had brought her such joy as a filly; was it lying somewhere, unloved? Perhaps when she got back to Ponyville Twilight would cast a scrying spell and make sure it got into the hooves of a filly who’d love it just as much as she did.
Lord Barleycorn’s mentioning of something called ‘The Twilight Zone’ at the end had puzzled her. Was it a jab at her, or just some ironic coincidence?
While the crowd quietly discussed that unforeseen plot twist, Lord Barleycorn hopped down from the stage. The rag pony, seeing this, quickly abandoned her half-eaten pie and trotted to his side.
"I hope you enjoyed the first of several stories I’ll be telling tonight," Lord Barleycorn announced to the crowd, "But I would be remiss if I didn’t share the stage with the true stars of the night. The foals of Hollow Shades have been diligently practicing their lines and are eager to shine, and so their curtain will be set to raise in half an hour."
The crowd remained quiet, suspecting there was more as Lord Barleycorn rubbed his sleeves together.
"But I’ve sang for you and told a very long story." He tugged at his collar, "My throat is quite dry, and I’ve heard only good things about your local watering hole."
This announcement drew two different reactions. The more self-righteous among the local mares silently showed their distaste at the King of Scarecrows visiting the Rusty Nail, believing it utterly beneath him. Running counter to this attitude were the bar’s regulars, who swelled with pride that their humble home-away-from-home was being graced by a spirit of such high esteem.
These habitual patrons began to drift away from the crowd and trot toward the Rusty Nail. By the way they were smiling one would think princess Celestia herself was having the honor of the first drink of the night.
While ponies began to take seats within the Rusty Nail, the rag pony stopped her liege before he could go any further. She stepped in front of him, then beckoned him to stoop down to her level. She seemed to whisper something in Lord Barleycorn's ear, and he nodded as if he had been reminded of something.
Twilight had first thought the scarecrow was going to ignore her request, but she subsequently straightened when she saw he was now advancing on her position on the boardwalk. The rag pony walked closely by his side, keeping pace with his long strides.
What made Twilight feel even more uncomfortable was how the ponies of Hollow Shades began to avert their attention and about their business. They had all been concentrated on him until this very moment… she could only assume rumors were piling up about her, and guessing at their context left her feeling extremely self-conscious.
"Your highness, did you enjoy my story?" Lord Barleycorn asked, inclining his head in a short bow.
The rag pony sat down by to Lord Barleycorn’s feet, reminding Twilight more of a dog than a pony in the way she kept looking up at him, then at her. There was something unnerving in the way this equine thing stared at her, like it was expecting Twilight to say something rude.
"Erm, yes very much so." Twilight said awkwardly, "You’re a very talented storyteller."
"I’d have thought you’d already know that from our time at the shrine, but thank you." Lord Barleycorn chuckled, "If you liked it so much, then perhaps I’ll tell another from that set. There were dozens of such ironic tales in the…" The autumn king then paused, like he was choosing his words carefully, "‘Book’ that I took them from."
Twilight’s ears stood straight at the mention of ‘book.’ "And what book would that be?"
"A series of stories called The Twilight Zone. Quite a great read, I highly recommend finding a copy." The scarecrow said pointedly.
"I… will keep an eye out for it." Twilight managed to say.
"Marvelous. Now, what did you wish to speak to me about?" Lord Barleycorn asked, "I’m certain it wasn’t just about where I get my stories."
Twilight wetted her lips and glanced behind her to Applejack and Rainbow, hoping for a little moral support. To her surprise, neither were sitting on the boardwalk with her. It was easy to assume the two of them had slipped away while she had been wrapped up in Lord Barleycorn’s story. Irritating perhaps, but there was nothing she could do about it. Although, she felt like she could have really used their reassuring presence.
"Um, well, you see..." Twilight began to feel a twinge of anxiety creeping into her, and she quickly took a breath to reorient herself, "You might have heard this, but something… happened after you left the shrine."
"Rumors and hearsay, mostly." Said Lord Barleycorn with an offhanded wave of his hand, "You're alright, I trust?"
"Yes, nopony was hurt at all." Twilight reassured, "But I may have said a few things in the heat of the moment that upset some… spirits."
"Then I’m shocked they didn’t give you a wart the size of a melon, or turn you into a lizard." Jack thought, "Maybe I can use this."
"Perhaps you should give me your version of events. It’s never wise to act on assumptions and first impressions, after all." Lord Barleycorn stated gently.
While it was embarrassing for her, Twilight admitted that she had lost her patience with him and said some disparaging words after he had departed. She hesitatingly repeated what she had said, for which she expected some anger or annoyance, but neither seemed to show as he urged her to continue. Finally, she described the pinpricks of light, and the sudden and horrifying arrival of the roaring goat-head that had sent her, Leadfoot, and Applejack running back to town in a frightened panic.
The rag pony edged closer to the taller spirit as Twilight finished. Though for the life of her Twilight did not understand this apparent lapse in confidence. Did the dark spirit frighten her too?
"Perhaps I got off easy with the a pair of bickering fairies." Jack thought as he quietly listened to Twilight’s tale. "I’ll have to make sure Leadfoot’s alright. Poor guy."
"And that’s why… I’d like to ask you to knight the rest of my friends, and myself." Twilight urged, "Or at the very least let the spirits know I’m willing to go through any apology ritual needed to placate them."
Lord Barleycorn cocked his head to one side, "And what makes you think there’s a ritual involved?"
"I don’t." Twilight said with a hint of frustration, "I’m just guessing there's one. A lot of the old pony tales I read said that there were many amulets, rituals, and gestures that could keep a pony safe from spirits but… I don’t know which ones are real and which ones are just..."
"Hooey?" Lord Barleycorn guessed.
Twilight nodded silently, feeling a chill run down her spine at the use of the word. It didn’t help when she swore she heard the rag pony stifle a laugh.
"Well, I’m sure I’ll be dealing with this drama at my court this morning, so I’ll have no doubt which spirits will be demanding the right to scare Leadfoot, Applejack, and you until your manes turn white." He said tiredly, reaching down to run his sleeve over his companion’s mane, "But I’m sorry to say there’s no ritual to just blanketly say ‘I’m sorry’ and all will be magically forgiven. That doesn’t work with ponies, and it doesn’t work with spirits either."
Twilight opened her mouth to speak, but the scarecrow stopped her with a raised sleeve.
"And me knighting you and your friends won’t protect you either." Lord Barleycorn crossed his arms, "If it’s the spirit I think it is, he’ll just wait until I’m gone and you’ll have a very unhappy forest spirit waiting every night to pop out and say ‘boo.’ He’s very persistent, and very prideful. You won’t be rid of him easily."
The rag pony looked up to the taller spirit as if confused, then hastily nodded in agreement.
Twilight sank down on her rump, "But… all I did was ask some questions. I mean, I might have been a bit… forward with my words but I thought we were alone."
Lord Barleycorn touched the rip in his mask, "Oh dear princess, you’re never ‘alone’ here. And, yes your words were quite the barb, but you committed another insult you were entirely ignorant of."
"Where in Equestria is he taking this?" Carrot Top wondered.
Twilight blinked. Another insult? She remembered following his instructions with the rocks to the letter, and if he was implying that her words were not the cause of this spirit’s anger, then what was?
"Care to have a guess what it was?" Lord Barleycorn plainly asked.
Several moments passed in silence as Twilight hurried to reexamine her words and actions at the stone circle. Out of everything it seemed more likely that it was something she said, perhaps something she had implied by accident? Not finding an answer, she chose to guess at the most likely conclusion.
"Was it when I brought up your history with Princess Celestia?" Twilight asked with ears flat to her skull.
"I’m sorry princess, that’s wrong." Lord Barleycorn simply stated.
That was not the answer Twilight Sparkle wanted to hear. Her brow furrowed as she rushed to think of another response, assuming Lord Lord Barleycorn would allow another try. Her mind skidded to a halt when she saw the Lord of Autumn step toward her. Twilight flinched, and in her panic she remembered the old pony’s tales of spirits turning ponies into toads or making them vanish. Twilight expected the worst when he reached out his arm to her...
No rebuke came, and Lord Barleycorn simply plopped his hand atop her head and playfully ruffled her mane as he sat on the boardwalk beside her. She was too relieved to be properly annoyed by the childish gesture, and silently chided herself for giving into her own fears.
Now reassured that nothing bad was coming for her incorrect answer, she quickly began to take the measure of the Spirit King. More specifically she found it odd how such a lanky biped could be eye level with her while they were both sitting. A quick sniff revealed he carried the heavy scent of straw and hay, as well of a clean, almost soapy scent beneath it all.
The way Lord Barleycorn sat with his legs crossed like that made Twilight wince a little, but he didn’t seem to be in any form of discomfort. Looking up from his legs, Twilight further noted an unmistakably amiable glint in his small eyes.
"Do you remember the bell that I rang?" He asked.
Twilight gave a cautious nod, "Yes, and I remember Applejack punching me for asking you a question."
"That there was your crime. Talking before the bell, ceremoniously called a ‘devil driver,’ was completely silent, offended the spirit who came to guard the shrine from bad spirits." He said as he smoothed out some of the disorder he wrought in Twilight’s mane, "Imagine Celestia welcoming a foreign dignitary and just as she reached out to shake his hoof somepony in attendance ruins the moment by making rude noises or shouts profane language."
Twilight owlishly blinked. That’s what happened? She spoke before that bell had stopped ringing? She didn’t remember anything like that from the books she brought, but… all of this from just so small an action?
"But don’t think there’s no hope of appeasing this spirit." Lord Barleycorn smiled, "Like I told you, he’s a guardian, a protector. He’s meant to be scary, and you can’t just buy his forgiveness with a gesture of your hoof and a cupcake, but if you show you respect his position he’ll forget this ever happened."
"And… I suppose you know how to do that?" Twilight asked, sounding hopeful.
Carrot Top began to grin under her mask, "Oh dear Celestia, he’s a bucking genius…"
"And here’s the wind-up…" Lord Barleycorn cleared his throat, "Helping with the festival as we agreed would help, but what would truly show you respected the old traditions would be to hold a proper ceremony at the shrine, with you presiding over it."
Twilight’s eyes widened, "B-but I don’t know anything about what ponies did there."
"Really now?" Lord Barleycorn said with baited mockery, "You’ve been here for how long and you’ve not learned anything about the history of the town? My, my, that doesn’t sound like the student of the Solar Princess I’ve heard about."
Carrot Top had to bite her lip to keep from laughing now, "This stupid dye-job was so worth the hassle! He’s got her by the nose!"
"If you know so much then tell me how to conduct this... ceremony." Twilight huffed.
"Sorry, I’ve got a hundred ponies to entertain and even more spirits to deal with at court afterwards. I can’t be bothered to give you a proper lecture on the subject." Lord Barleycorn tittered, clearly amused of Twilight’s attitude, "But if you’re looking for teachers, there are ponies here who would love to speak to a princess about what they saw when they were young."
Years of experiencing Princess Celestia’s infamously cryptic advice wasn’t necessary for Twilight to see what Lord Barleycorn was hinting at. The local weather team seemed to know hints of these traditions, but there was a great congregation of older ponies present on the streets in these dwindling daylight hours.
"I suppose I have some investigating to do." Twilight hesitantly began to look up and down the streets, "If I have any questions can, can I talk to you again?"
"I hardly need an excuse to talk to such a bright and delightful mare, Twilight Sparkle." He said, rising back to his feet, "Please, come talk to me whenever you like."
That offer finally brought a smile back to Twilight’s face, and she turned to begin her quest when Lord Barleycorn spoke again.
"Oh, and one more thing." He said.
Twilight turned her head back to the scarecrow and his silent companion.
"Remember that you’re a princess." He said in a more admonishing tone, "You should never put yourself in the service of a foreign power. It sets a bad example."
That… made sense. Twilight was stunned that she never even thought about how her request had undercut the authority of her crown and title. Was it because she didn’t take him seriously, or that his service would only last until he moved on? Whatever the case, it didn’t paint her in a good light. Maybe it was for the best that he turned her down.
"I’ll remember that. Thank you." Twilight inclined her head in a slight bow before continuing on down the boardwalk.
Lord Barleycorn answered back with a tip of his hat, and let out a sigh. "And it’s a home run!"
When Twilight was assuredly out of earshot, Carrot Top nudged his leg with her hoof, beckoning him to lean in so they could speak.
"That was brilliant!" Carrot Top whispered into his ear, "Where did you come up with that stuff with the bell?"
"I had a friend who was really into a band named after that bell, and he explained the meaning of it to me once. The rest of it I completely made up." Jack snickered, "And if you’re wondering why I even brought this up, why not make this the closing act for the festival and appease the spooks in the woods at the same time?"
Carrot Top had to admit it was a good idea. Even better, it gave Twilight something to occupy herself with. The more that Twilight saw of them, the more she might be tempted to try to peek under their masks or ask the wrong question. Still, she couldn’t believe just how easily Jack had wrapped her around his finger.
Many nearby ponies looked on with curious fascination as the timid rag pony began to laugh as she followed the Autumn king into the Rusty Nail. Whatever he had told her, it must have been a very funny joke.
---
Solitude was not something that Rainbow Dash often sought out.
She was a pony who sought to rise to every challenge, who aimed to break every record. But now, in this moment, she just wanted a place to be alone. Normally she would have flown up to the clouds where most ponies wouldn’t see her, but the wild clouds served as a poor resting place. Besides, flying away would have allowed the whole town to see her.
She had slipped away from the side of her friends while they had been engrossed in the scarecrow’s ghost story. Escaping down the alleyway, she left the busy main road behind her as she emerged behind the line of businesses.
Rainbow had taken to exploring the town the day before, and was not surprised to find it deserted despite how close it was to the festivities only yards away.
Thistles and other large weeds grew near the backs of these buildings, the occupants more focused on their businesses than pruning these eyesores. The row of wooden buildings somehow seemed more weather-beaten and worm-eaten from the back, while in contrast the trees of the Everfree stood tall and strong only some ten yards away. Fluttershy’s cottage was further from the forest than this town.
Taking a seat behind the barber shop, Rainbow pulled back the flight suit’s white cowl. While the suit had been perhaps her most awesome find, it was incomplete. The red-tinted goggles that were part of his uniform hadn’t been at the antique shop. Rainbow had torn the store upside down looking for them, but the old mare who ran it said she’d never seen them.
Rainbow let out a sigh. All these years he’d been living here, so close to Ponyville under an assumed name? It was so unbelievable it was almost funny. No, what should have been funny was that the stunt pony who made a living calling himself ‘Violence’ was working as a small town doctor. It should have been funny that Rainbow hadn’t recognized one of her idols even after spending a week under the same roof.
But she wasn’t laughing. She wanted to pity him, but she knew he wouldn’t want that. She wouldn’t want it if she was in his place.
"Sugarcube?"
Rainbow Dash looked up to see Applejack at the mouth of the alley and groaned. She had wanted a little longer before somepony came looking for her.
"Over here." Rainbow answered.
Applejack took that to mean she could come closer and sat next to her friend.
"Didn’t like the story?" Applejack asked.
Rainbow shook her head, "I wasn’t really listening to it. I came back here for a little space from everypony."
"If’n you feel like talkin’, Ah kin listen." Applejack offered, "What’d you mean when you called the doc ‘yer hero?’ An’ what’s with that flight suit?"
Rainbow couldn’t help but look down at the suit. Even after knowing what the wearer was like, she couldn’t help but feel a tingle of excitement at the idea of wearing his suit.
"Well, I’d have to give you some backstory. You know the Wonderbolts have their big training academy?" Rainbow paused, but when she only got a blank stare from her friend she awkwardly continued, "Well, it’s a huge training facility where the Wonderbolts train, and anypony who wants to join their reserve program."
Rainbow grinned proudly, "I’ve actually sent my application there last week. It’ll take a while for them to get to me but I’m sure when they see my credentials, they’ll be beggin’ me to join!"
There was the old Rainbow that Applejack knew. She chuckled at her friend’s lack of modesty, but urged her to continue. "An’ how’s that place tie in to the doc?"
"Gettin’ to it." Rainbow wetted her lips before she continued, "Y’see, a lot of pegasi sign up for the academy and almost all of them fail. Either they don’t have what it takes or there’s just not enough positions to fill. Wash outs usually just go back to doin’ whatever they were doin’ before, but a some of ‘em end up banding together forming small flying cliques that strike out on their own."
Rainbow tugged on her flight suit, "This here belongs to one of ‘em, Crimson Blur of the Phoenix Brigade. My favorite small-time stunt flier. The other two who went with him were called Sore Loser and Reckless Abandon."
"So she’s found her foalhood hero’s suit?" Applejack allowed her smile to widen momentarily, pleased to hear of Rainbow’s good fortune.
The pegasus sighed as her looked up at the clouds, her face softening as nostalgia washed over her. "Pops used to take me and mom to see air shows when I was really tiny. You name it, races, stunt fliers, even midair plays. He also used to show me old clippings and tell me about some of the best shows he ever saw. The Wonderbolts are great, but dad told me nopony pushed the envelope like the Phoenix Brigade. They never held back when it came to stunts, adding explosive powder and timed lightning strikes to everything. Some of the older stunt fans joke about how the mainstream competitions would ban their stunts and tricks almost as quick as the Brigade would make them."
"You mean like that big cherry explosion?" Applejack asked, remembering their talk in the restaurant.
"Yeah, that’s one of them. For a while they were getting sponsorship deals and were actually starting to pull crowds like the Wonderbolts. ‘Course, I’d never bring that up around Spitfire or anyone at the academy." Rainbow smirked, "It’s embarrassing to be shown up by a trio of wash outs, right?"
"Sounds like they put in a lotta hard work." Applejack said, a little surprised to hear a grandfathered organization like the Wonderbolts had been threatened like that, "If things were going so well for ‘em, why ain’t Ah heard of ‘em before?"
Rainbow’s smile faltered before metamorphosing into an uncomfortable grimace, "Because they only were together for about five years or so."
The abrupt shift in Dash’s attitude had Applejack curious what could have happened. Still, she kept quiet to allow Rainbow to continue.
"Those sponsors that kept offering them money always went to Crimson, who acted as the face of the Brigade. Every one of them would get hurt once in awhile but all three of them would dust themselves off and keep going. They also always did their own set up to make sure things were done right." A flash of respect appeared in Rainbow’s eye, but only for a moment, "Finally they got an offer to be the warm up act for a race starring the Wonderbolts. I think they were planning on showing the Wonderbolts up at the race but … something went wrong."
"Hey don’t stop, what happened next?" Applejack urged.
"Their powder mix was off, an’ all three of them got burned, but Crimson got it the worst. ‘Severe wing injury,’ the reporters said. The Brigade accused the Wonderbolts for sabotage, but they didn’t have any proof and it was declared an accident, after all a Cherry Nova is stupidly dangerous in the first place."
Applejack was starting to see the pattern Rainbow was laying out for her.
"From then on it gets pretty fuzzy; but the Brigade replaced Crimson with a few new ponies who couldn’t measure up. The sponsors dropped away, and they quietly disappeared from the newspapers. All of this was like ten years before I was born."
There were many finer points to Rainbow Dash’s story that Applejack had to assume analogous to things she had seen in her time at the rodeos. Some of the pros that followed those competitions had sponsors that paid them to hock their products in exchange for equipment and other luxuries. All they had to do was win, and they got bits, fame, and everything that came with both of those things. While she didn’t envy such a life, she could see how devastating the sudden loss of support could leave those athletes completely directionless.
"An’ Blur was one of yer favorites?" Applejack asked cautiously.
Rainbow nodded, "The stallion came up with his own stunts, did his own setup, and was hooves-on with the operation. Very do-it-yourself. Ya gotta respect a pony like that." She sighed, "I just thought I’d never meet him."
Applejack blinked in surprise, realizing what Rainbow had meant just now, "Ya think… maybe ya should talk to him? Like away from the crowd?"
Rainbow flinched and pulled back from her friend, "Wha-what? You’re serious? You saw how he acted!"
"Ah don’t know Dash." Applejack sighed, now was time for her to voice her own worries. "Since Ah got here an’ met mah kin, Ah’ve been dealin’ with a lotta pride issues. Mine, yeah, but also from Summer. He think’s he’s right, an’ won’t wanna listen to anythin’ Ah say. Fer days Ah’ve been beatin’ mah head on the wall tryin’ to find the right words to say to win him over, an’ Ah don’t think there are any."
Rainbow shifted, unsure of how to respond to her friend’s admission.
"But after listenin’ to yer problem Ah gotta ask ya this; cause it might be the answer Ah’ve been lookin’ fer." Applejack focused her full attention on Rainbow Dash, looking the pegasus square in the eye, "If ya go back to Ponyville leavin’ things unsaid, are ya gonna feel right about it? Jus’ lettin’ him drink himself to death without knowin’ he’s got a lifelong fan?"
Rainbow’s mouth fell open a little, but she remained silent as she clearly began to ponder Applejack’s words very carefully.
A loud cheer swelled from the alley, the sound of many ponies raising their voices in raucous celebration among the buildings. This harrah was immediately followed by the offkey plunks of a poorly tuned piano, and then more laughter followed.
"Sounds like they’re having fun over at the Rusty Nail." Applejack said casually rising up to all fours, "Wanna come with?"
A polite smile was what met Applejack’s gracious offer, but Rainbow shook her head. "You go ahead, I’m gonna stay here a while longer."
Applejack was a little disheartened, but she didn’t show it. She moved to the alley, and left her friend alone with her thoughts.
---
The stars twinkled into view as night fell across the countryside. Although night had fallen, the main road of Hollow Shades was kept cheerful and bright by the light of oil lanterns and smiling jack o’lanterns.
The sound of glass mugs and old pewter tankards clattering on tables was almost as loud as the drinking songs coming from within the walls of the local tavern.
Within the Rusty Nail drinking songs rose up over the din, almost managing to drown out the graceless plunking notes of the bar’s neglected piano that had been resting undisturbed in the corner.
The aging instrument had been commandeered by Jack upon his arrival, despite the insistence that the device was horribly out of tune. The scarecrow had simply laughed and proceeded to try play a few simple and very silly songs the best he could. The flat notes only seemed to add to the humor, and with the inclusion of the best whiskey and beer being brought out for the occasion, it was a fun half hour.
For the man under the mask, it was more play than work. It reminded Jack of his college days, and he was pleased he could remember most of the limericks he and his more musically inclined friends had invented to pass the nights away. However, Jack made sure to only indulge in one drink. He had stretched his one glass out the best he could, knowing well that it wouldn’t bode well if the ponies saw that the King of Autumn was in fact a total lightweight when it came to drinking.
Outside, the foals were working diligently under the supervision of Rarity and Fluttershy. The curtains were hung on the crude railing with whatever rope that could be spared to open and close them. The backgrounds and props were being set up as best they could, and all of the backstage items were organized to help with the production.
The foals and their audience waited, and the half hour came and went. Ten more minutes elapsed and finally Lord Barleycorn was seen being pulled out the door of the Rusty Nail by the field spirit, who seemed to have a vested interest in keeping him on schedule.
To Jack, the way Carrot Top had gripped his sleeve with her teeth and was pulling him like a dog was undeniably cute.
"Yes yes, I’m aware of the time. You don’t need to remind me." Jack chuckled, finally shaking his sleeve free of the mare’s teeth.
The Lord of Autumn waved a quick farewell to the patrons of the Rusty Nail before following his companion toward the stage. He didn’t really blame Carrot Top for wanting to leave. Despite his warning to the townsponies, there had still been one stallion who’d tried to get friendly with her. Thankfully he’d been so incredibly intoxicated that he had passed out before finishing a very brazen compliment about her flanks.
He had no doubt that if the logger pony hadn’t passed out, Carrot Top would have broken character and maybe his jaw.
The stage was only a short walk away, and the ponies grew silent at their approach. More ponies crossed their legs, but seemed more relaxed around them than before. Jack took the time to casually tip his hat and nod to any pony who met his gaze.
Taking a moment to glance around, Jack could see some familiar faces in the audience. The Harvests were sitting in the second row, with Leadfoot still seeming to be rather unsettled for a pony about to watch a play.
Near the back he spied several of the mares from Ponyville. The princess was absent, but Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and… the pink one were there. Both Pinkie and Applejack had been in the bar while he had been playing the piano, and he had been able to overhear snippets of conversation between them while he was in between songs.
Apparently Pinkie hadn’t had alcohol before, and had accepted a pint from the bartender. She downed an entire mug of aged stout in one go, thinking she could drink it quickly like soda.
The poor pink pony then had to be helped outside by her friends. It seemed she and Jack shared an intolerance to alcohol. He had to give her credit for being able to walk about after downing so much beer at once, even though her head was lolling around in small circles and she was swaying from side to side. Thankfully her friends here sitting close to her side, keeping her upright as she leaned against them when she needed the support.
Jack felt a bit of concern, but tomorrow she’d feel better. Hopefully this experience would leave her a little wiser about what she drank.
Turning his attention back to the stage, Jack ascended the pony-sized stairs along the side with two big steps. The field spirit chose not to join him, preferring instead to lay on the grass behind the stage, out of sight of the crowd.
The stage itself was lit by several hooded oil lanterns, safely suspended from sturdy chains. Jack remembered voicing some concern about burning oil near fluttering curtains and wood, but princess Twilight assured him that enchantments had been placed on them to keep any such catastrophes from happening. That worry persisted, but he chose to trust the princess. At least they provided plenty of light for the young actors.
The backgrounds were primed for the opening scene, and despite being made by a bunch of children with cheap paint he felt it was adequate for this production. It was just two long pictures on a large roll of paper that would be reversed during scene changes. It wasn't perfect but what was in this town?
Upon stepping through the curtains, Jack found himself in a cramped and busy backstage area. The foals that were to go on stage were already in costume and going over their lines one more time with the help of Rarity. The foals that weren’t given a role to play were setting out the props that they had procured from around town, and Jack hoped these items weren’t being missed.
Near the far corner, he spotted Fluttershy sitting with the town’s three barbers. Jack had previously had no real interaction with them, and he could only tell them apart by their ridiculous mustache, beard, and muttonchops. Fluttershy was listening to them as they hummed in harmony, reading from what Jack guessed was the music sheet for the only song in the play.
Why she was sitting with them was a little perplexing. Carrot Top had mentioned Fluttershy had a great singing voice but was too timid to get on stage and sing, so Jack doubted this trio was going to become a quartet.
Jack’s arrival was finally noticed by the foals, most of whom nearly trampled each other to rush over to greet him. The ones who didn’t remained by Rarity, actively trying not to look over at him.
"And a good evening to you as well," Jack said courteously, tipping his hat to everypony, "Curtain time is nearly upon us, is everything ready?"
Jack thought he heard a groan from Rarity’s circle of foals.
"Everything’s ready," A pegasus filly Jack knew as Quiet Rain said, "Except..."
Although he already had an idea of what was wrong, Jack still asked the question, "Except what?"
"The foals that got the acting parts?" Thistle Bloom hesitated, "They’ve… got a bit of stage fright."
Jack took another look at Rarity. The way she was getting the foals to repeat their lines, the way she was urging them to speak with confidence… it was a rehearsal, yes but she was more accurately trying to get them to push past their fears.
"Maybe I can help." Jack thought out loud before addressing the foals around him, "Please excuse me, and keep up the good work."
He then patted Thistle Bloom on the head as he passed through the gathering of young ponies. The foals Rarity was mentoring tried to avoid eye contact with ‘Lord Barleycorn’ but grew noticeably quiet.
"Ah, Lord Barleycorn," Rarity gushed, moving to greet him with an elegant cross of her legs, "If you’re here then it’s time for the curtain to rise?"
Again, Jack thought he heard a few foals groan.
"When the actors are ready," Jack motioned for Rarity to come closer to whisper in her ear, "Am I right in thinking they’ve gotten a case of the jitters?"
Rarity answered with a mildly frustrated frown, but nodded before whispering back, "A very bad case of it, I’m afraid. They felt fine with rehearsing on an empty stage but..."
"Now they have their friends, family, and neighbors watching them. No shock there." Jack frowned, things were going so smoothly!
"I’ve tried telling them about how everypony would see how great the play will be, but I believe I’ve just made them more nervous." Rarity sighed, keeping her voice low.
Jack looked back at the five costumed foals. Even Corn Crib seemed to be withdrawn, and he had to wonder if any rumors of the shrine-ghosts were adding to their unease. Regardless if they were or not, the show had to go on if he was to keep his promise.
"I think I might have something that might work, but you’ll have to help me." Jack whispered before winking to Rarity, "Be prepared to do some acting yourself."
With that said, Jack tipped his hat back as she approached the foals, who quickly gave him their full attention.
"A good evening to you as well," Jack said courteously as he suddenly approached the foals, "Curtain time is nearly upon us, is everything ready?"
"We got our costumes, Lord Barleycorn sir," Wind Row fidgeted under his bedsheet costume, "But..."
"... but um… do we have to go on right now?" Corn Crib asked.
"A play can’t start without its actors." Jack answered, "Though I see no reason why a witch of your grand magnificence should have any doubt at all, Ms. Hazel."
Corn Crib blinked in confusion, "Huh?"
"What is Halloween without one of the best witches in Equestria?" Lord Barleycorn bowed low to Corn Crib, "And may I add you look so incredibly spry tonight, like you were a young crone of two-hundred."
Corn Crib stared blankly at the scarecrow, attempting to figure out what he was talking about.
Up until this point, Rarity had been quietly mulling over the Autumnal King’s words and trying to ascertain what her role was. While she was no actor, she was no stranger to the stage. In her youth, she had known several colts and fillies who simply wouldn’t go out on stage despite whatever bribe or coercion was leveled at them.
Yet instead of offering the foals a reward or attempting to guilt them, Lord Barleycorn was addressing them by their characters. Then, in a snap Rarity understood what he wanted her to do.
"She does, doesn’t she?" Rarity remarked, "I admit I was shocked hear she wanted me to touch up her hat. It’s not every day I get to assist such a well-accomplished witch."
Corn Crib’s mouth opened in open bewilderment, "You… think I’m really Witch Hazel?"
"Why wouldn’t you be? You have those wizened eyes, the tall hat, the mischief in your voice..." Jack smiled, "Who else would you be?"
Corn Crib seemed to be at a complete loss for words.
Wind Row, who was hiding under the shroud of his bedsheet ghost costume spoke up, "If she’s a witch, then what am I?"
"One of the best trick or treaters I have ever seen." Jack winked, "Just like your sisters there."
Wind Row looked over to the two fillies who were playing the role of the other two triplets. Well Water and River Stone seemed ambivalent to the idea of being called his sisters, but mildly amused at the same time.
"Didn’t he say that ponies wear costumes on Halloween so the bad spirits won’t recognize them?" Wedge tried to whisper to Corn Crib, but he was speaking just a little too loudly to be secretive.
"Yeah, but he’s not a bad spirit, and Ms. Rarity’s not a ghost..." Corn Crib then squinted at Rarity, "... I think."
Rarity tried not to roll her laugh. Foals could jump to such outlandish conclusions...
"Maybe our costumes are just that good?" Wedge asked, now abandoning any pretense at hiding their conversation.
"Maybe?" Jack interjected, "Or maybe Corn Crib, Wedge, Well Water, Wind Row, and River Stone aren’t going out on stage. Witch Hazel, Dullard, Hue, Dew, and Blue will be out there."
The foals wore blank puzzled expressions, but quickly began to ponder what the tall spirit had meant.
"You mean, if we go out there… we’re our characters?" Well Water ventured.
Rarity nodded, "Very good darling. You’re not going out there and playing yourself. You’re going out on stage as a young filly who gets denied her candy, and guess what? You get it."
Well Water’s face brightened up, "Huh… I never thought about it that way."
"Give it a try." Jack winked, "And trust me, mulling about back here is the worst thing you can do. You’ll only make yourselves sick with anxiety but if you go out there and focus on your lines, you’ll wonder why you were ever scared in the first place."
The foals looked to each other, and Corn Crib was the first to speak.
"We gotta, I know we do. Otherwise we put all this work into this for nothin’." Corn Crib said as she adjusted her hat, "I’m ready."
With Corn Crib taking the lead, the other foals began to show more confidence.
"Atta girl. You all take whatever final preparations you need." He then winked, "It’s show time."
---
Out in the crowd, Pinkie Pie was starting to feel a little better. She’d finally stopped lolling her head back and forth, and felt like she could stand without somepony helping her. After a very unladylike belch, the party mare shook her head and rubbed her eyes.
"Feelin’ better sugar-cube?" Applejack got a nod from Pinkie, "Good. Next time don’t drink it so fast. Big Mac kin do that, but even Ah can’t put it away like you did."
Pinkie groaned, "I don’t think I’ll ever do that… my stomach feels funny."
Rainbow began to shy away from Pinkie, "If you’re gonna get sick, I can find you a bucket. I don’t want you making a mess on this flight suit."
"No, no… I’m good…" Pinkie managed to say as she began to work out a series of alternating blinks, "Does drinking always mess with your eyes?"
Applejack decided to humor Pinkie’s question, "Yer eyes? Not really. It usually just makes ya feel dizzy. Somethin’ wrong with yer eyes?"
"Maybe," Pinkie gestured over her withers, "’Cause I swore I saw Maud when you were bringing me over to the play..."
Applejack and Rainbow both turned and rather than on the boardwalk, Maud Pie was standing right behind them. The gray mare was sitting casually like she’d been seated there all day, and was giving them that same half-lidded stare she normally wore.
Both Applejack and Rainbow nearly jumped out their skin at the sight of her.
"M-Maud! When’d you get here!?" Rainbow blurted out, shock causing her to lose her volume control.
Several nearby members of the audience turned back to look at Rainbow, but quickly lost interest upon seeing Maud’s plain… everything.
"Here?" Maud slowly blinked, "I followed you over to make sure Pinkie was okay. Thank goodness she was with good friends."
Rainbow grit her teeth, she knew it was just Maud’s tone of voice, or lack thereof, but she kept thinking that monotone candor was meant to be sarcastic.
"Yeah… I’ll be okay." Pinkie said, "Sorry I can’t hug you right now Maud… Mr. Tummy doesn’t feel like moving around a lot..."
"That’s okay Pinkie." Maud said, never once losing that flat, bored inflection before turning back to Rainbow, "I came to look at some rocks."
Rainbow groaned, she should have known.
"Uh, any sorta magical rocks?" Applejack asked, "Like the standing kind?"
"Rocks don’t stand. They have no legs." Said Maud. It was a statement of fact, not a joke, "But I heard about this play. It sounded interesting."
Rainbow had to cock an eyebrow at that news, "You think the play’s about rocks?"
"That’d be nice." Maud stated.
Rainbow flinched. She walked right into that one.
"I’m glad I was able to get a seat this close." Maud said.
"Uh, Maud, we’re at the back of the audience. How’s this close?" Applejack asked.
"Because of all the ponies that said they were coming here." Maud turned her head to look back down the main road.
Rainbow and Applejack followed Maud’s eyes, and so did several ponies who were still eavesdropping on their conversation.
It was dark, but under the light of Luna’s silvery moon both Rainbow and Applejack could spot the movement of ponies far in the distance. The forest itself hemmed their view of how many, but as they approached more and more appeared from behind the treeline, a mob of ponies hurrying toward this bright beacon of civilization near the Everfree forest. Pegasi were flying above the mob, helping to direct ponies in the direction of the town.
"Ah don’t believe it." Applejack breathed, taking off her hat.
"What?" Pinkie asked, feeling a little too sick to crane her neck around, "What is it?"
"Ponies, lots of ‘em!" Applejack grinned, then nudged Rainbow on the side, "Looks like those posters brought in a whole danged caravan of them."
A hopeful chatter began to rise from the crowd, who’d taken notice to the approaching mass of ponies. Business owners broke from the crowd to hurriedly reopen their shops, the allure of making some coin was simply too tempting. Even Tablecloth’s which was notorious for not being open past sundown was hastily reopened, with the owner struggling to find all his wayward staff for the potential influx of tourists and their money.
Rainbow’s grin, however, began to slowly fade away as the crowd came closer and closer.
"Somethin’ wrong Sugar-cube?" Applejack asked.
"Yeah, I just realized something." Rainbow sighed, "If we had to bunk up with the doc, then it’s gonna get real crowded around here come bed time."
---
To be continued…
---
There. A chapter in October. We're nearing the end folks, but there's plenty to wrap up and explain so we're not at the end just yet. AND JUST 801 WORDS SHORT OF 200K! 
I have some IRL stuff coming up that's going to effect my sluggish writing, see my blog for details as I don't want to whine about it here. Rest assured I love writing this story, and it would kill me to end the story where it is. If worst comes to worst I'll set this story to "Hiatus" should I have to move out but its looking like I have time to get all my ducks in a row. Best case scenario: I may be able to finish this story by the start of 2018.
Edited by: Wacky, Duelist925, The Wind King, Syroc, and Courage Fire.
Bonus credit to Solid Punch and dartagnan401 for helping me out with second opinions and some details I'm unfamiliar with.
Huge thank you to everyone who helped out!
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This looks like a refreshingly new story! I'm looking forward to starting it
First. And I almost thought you was dead can't wait for the meeting with the princesses
Lovely as always. And that's a cute way to cure stagefright.
BRILLIANT as always!
well worth the wait!
7777?
Double jackpot dude. And barely any editing required on the first run! :D
damn son still going a good story. i hope shit works out for ya
Thanks for the update!!
So many years and it's still getting updates. Talk about dedication.
Climax in 3, 2,,,
How have I never seen this!
Best of luck. It's so rare for a fic to get an actual ending.
My favorite part of this chapter--though everything that followed was good too!
I hardly deserve first credit for editing--I was the last to help I think; everyone else covered most of it. But glad you took my advice where you did.
8494212
The listing of editors is purely random. =3
Er... sorry, I didn't get it.
8494582
How would it make England look if the Queen of England swore her service to say, the King of Norway? Or Celestia bowed to the whims of the Griffon King?
8494615
In addition, it's why a member of the US Military or any US federal or local government cannot, say, be Knighted by the Queen of England.
8494615
I wish to be an Ent.
The young shall ride forth on my branches as I lumber through the spookies towards the standing stones whilst regaling in tales of Ancient times beyond even the minds of demigods.
I love this story
Cant wait for Fluttershy to sing the pumpkin part in the song in her deep baritone voice a.k.a Flutterguy. HEHEHE.
This is definitely one of the finest fan fictions I read with regards to smart character interactions. Well done.
8497364
8496672
Aw, thanks. =3
ain't gonna lie, the part where Maud points at the incoming crowd made me cheer
8494615
Depending on the particular whims... it could be pretty hot.
Wasn't River Stone the colt who lost Topple The King?
8516129
Yup =3
8516296
Playing a filly, then, is he? Must be a confident little fellow.
8592630
Glad to hear that, it's pretty cool to have friends all over the world thanks to the glory of the internet
P.S. I live in a small town called Vagnhärad (roughly translating to Wagon district) located just south of Stockholm
8592644
Neat. I'm meeting people from all over the world by writing this, actually. Hope you're okay, I know you guys have snow now. (Here in Ohio we have freezing rain.)
I just had a thought. They accused the Wonderbolts of sabotage? What if they were right. It could have been Wind Rider, that douche that tried to frame Rainbow Dash in season 5. Perhaps he sabotaged the Phoenix Brigade's setup.
9527917
It very well could have been. The trouble is this is set just after season 3, so he wouldn't be known to the mane 6, and Rainbow would think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread. but it would be a good thing to have her ponder, thanks for mentioning it.
9528129
You're welcome. I'd just been pondering it when it occurred to me. If Wind Rider's ego is large enough to frame Rainbow Dash for a crime on the off chance she could break his record before she is even a full Wonderbolt, what would he do to someone showing him up before his own performance doing tricks he could/would never do?
9528129
As an afterthought, to bring everything to light, there are still five days left to Halloween. Who's to say that Wind Rider or some of the other Wonderbolts wouldn't check out the festivities?
9528301
hadn't planned on it (and I have the next few chapters planned pretty tightly) but I'll review what I have and see if its compatible.
Aw man, the story's going to end in a few chapters? I really hope there's a sequel (although you should probably finish Lost and Blind first). I want to see Jack's time in Equestria continue...be it as a newly-crowned spirit (which I really want to see), or just as a spirit expert. Then again, it might be for the best to let the story end, perhaps in an open-ended manner so people could imagine how things continue. Some good stories become a series and they either get an indefinite hiatus, the author regrets it, or it just doesn't compare to the first "book." Whatever you choose to do though - be it end the story on a high note or make a sequel down the line - I'll support your decision.
The Tale of Lord Barleycorn's been both an amazing read and a wonderful source of inspiration. I'm a terminal procrastinator, but if I get back to writing on here I might try something with a scarecrow character...or at least make one for something like D&D. Stories about Spirits are always awesome, too!
9579385
When I finish this story I intend to make a dumping ground for ideas for how the ending effects the various characters, and how time effects them. it'll be a collection of 1-shots so it'll be no massive commitment on my part.
And I'm a huge dnd nerd. I'm always toying with new character ideas that I can never use since I have to DM. x3
Noticed this on a reread but isn't this the third separate character mentioned by the name "River Stone"?
First was the owner of the lumber mill before it got sold off (Chapter 32).
Second is one of the colts during the school pushing scene with Twilight (Chapter 33).
Now maybe it is just a bizarre coincidence but the name "River Stone" could be referencing the 'Fey Stone' talked about getting thrown in the river.
Just a bit odd but interesting to think about
11356870
Huh. Usually when I create a background character I have them in my notes. even if its just a tiny mention to avoid hiccups like this. I'm curiously missing the first river stone.
FINALLY! I was starting to think nopony would come. I still feel like something is going to go wrong...