15. But... carrot tops are green.
The Tale of Lord Barleycorn
- - - - - -
Chapter 15: But... carrot tops are green.
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"How... is that scarecrow talking?"
"I, Um..." Corn Crib stammered as she looked to her straw-scented friend.
Lord Barleycorn froze where he had been sitting, waiting for Corn Crib to stop laughing at his story. By some extreme stroke of luck his long sleeves were concealing his hands, his feet hidden under the blanket, and the brim of his hat shielding his eyes from Carrot Top's vision. He blinked at Corn Crib, but didn't move or speak.
To say Corn Crib was panicking was an understatement. She had panicked when she had burned the first breakfast her mother had let her cook. But unlike then, Corn Crib wasn't running around in guilt-fueled hysteria, she was frozen where she sat just like Lord Barleycorn. The vortex of panic that was swelling inside her felt like at any second her little heart might burst; she couldn't just sit there silent, she had to say something, anything!
"It's, um, just a scarecrow." Corn Crib said once she had managed to swallow the apple-sized lump in her throat. "Leadfoot made it."
Carrot Top frowned at the filly's answer, "That doesn't explain what I heard."
Again Corn Crib's mind spun its wheels as she blurted out; "I was practicing ventriloquism, yeah, for the talent show!"
"Talent show?" Carrot blinked.
"Yeah, there's a talent show that's part of the Fall Harvest Festival." Corn Crib sighed, feeling like she got her hoof in the door. "At least that last part's true..."
"And you were going to enter with a scarecrow?" Carrot Top turned her head to the scarecrow in question, "A really shoddy looking thing, is Leadfoot okay with you having it in here and not in the fields?"
"Well... um, he's broken." Corn Crib said in a hurry, "Leadfoot was going to fix him tomorrow."
Carrot Top stared at the scarecrow for several moment with narrowed, scrutinizing eyes, then shrugged her shoulders. "I guess that makes sense. Speaking of Leadfoot, where is he?"
"He went out for a run before bed," Corn Crib said, just glad to have the conversation off Lord Barleycorn. "You want some help looking for him?"
Carrot Top shook her head, "No, since he'll be back I think I can wait for him to get back."
"You sure? It probably wouldn't take a few minutes to look for him." Corn Crib offered.
The older mare stepped out onto the hay, "No thanks, I don't feel like traipsing around in the twilight hours so close to the forest."
"Well, I guess... that's okay..." Corn Crib looked to Lord Barleycorn, who was only able to communicate with a slow clench of his eyes. "Sorry..."
"Why wouldn't it be?" Carrot Top noticed how her cousin kept looking at the scarecrow. "Oh... you wanted to be alone to practice?"
Corn Crib blinked, then fervently nodded her head. "Y-yeah that's it! I'm just starting out, y'see?"
Rather than move away as Corn Crib had hoped, Carrot Top came to lay down in the hay. Much worse, the yellow mare was now standing on the edge of the blanket, right next to Lord Barleycorn's boots.
"You won't get over your fears of performing in front of others if you always practice alone." Carrot Top said with an encouraging smile. "What do you have for your routine?"
Corn Crib flinched, "Routine?"
"Yeah, you know, what jokes do you have lined up?" Carrot Top stated, "You sounded like you were laughing pretty hard earlier, so you gotta have something really good."
Again Corn Crib felt herself tongue tied. Jokes were something that floated around the schoolyard like snow in winter, and Corn Crib must have heard all of them. The problem she was facing was the sudden gap in her knowledge that hadn't existed minutes ago. Not a single joke, not even a pathetic knock-knock joke stepped forward for her to use.
Regardless of Corn Crib's troubled silence, Carrot Top just kept smiling. While she waited, her eyes drifted to the boots that were sitting next to her.
"Are there any griffins living in Hollow Shades?" Carrot Top asked as she prodded the boots with her hoof.
Corn Crib shook her head. "Nope, n-no griffins here."
The scarecrow was again the focus of Carrot Top's scrutiny as she craned her neck forward for a closer examination. "Huh, Leadfoot even ripped a mouth and eye holes for it? Not bad, but maybe buttons for eyes would make it look a little more friendly."
Corn Crib gulped and nodded wordlessly, if Carrot Top saw the eyes behind the mask they were sunk!
The silence that hung between the cousins was short lived. The rattle of the doors below was heard, and Corn Crib knew from the loud huff that came after heralded her brother's return.
"Hey, I'm a little cold, if it's okay with you-" Carrot Top said, "-I'm going to get under the blanket with you."
Corn Crib opened her mouth, but too late. The blanket was already in Carrot Top's teeth.
In a flash the blanket was fully removed from Lord Barleycorn's legs, and Corn Crib prepared herself for her cousin's inevitable screech upon seeing whatever Lord Barleycorn's feet looked like. Instead, all that could be seen were the ends of his pants, Lord Barleycorn's feet were completely buried in the loose hay.
"Corn Crib?" Came Leadfoot's voice as he appeared at the top of the steps. "Oh, hi Cousin Golden."
When Leadfoot's eyes fell on the slumped over scarecrow, he nearly fell back down the stairs. A wink from Corn Crib eased his nerves a little, but what exactly had happened while he had been out wasn't clear.
"I... see you've met Corn Crib's latest friend." Leadfoot said, starting out onto the hay.
"Yeah, he's a little scraggly but you did a good job making him." Carrot Top chuckled, then looked to Corn Crib. "Sorry, you mind showing me your act a little later?"
Corn Crib took in a deep breath and let it out. "I... that's fine."
Leadfoot let out a sigh of relief. If Carrot Top believed that he was a simple scarecrow, then their secret was safe. As tricky as Lord Barleycorn was, Leadfoot wandered how long he could keep up this appearance of lifelessness. He didn't know how Lord Barleycorn's body worked, but that couldn't have been a very comfortable position.
"So... what did you want to see Leadfoot about?" Corn Crib asked.
"Well, since you're both here I can tell you both." Carrot Top's ears pinned back, "Your mom and I managed to get your dad to calm down, but couldn't get Daisy and Lily to relax. They're both talking about leaving tomorrow morning, Lily especially. She's always been a little... skittish."
"What about Roseluck?" Leadfoot tilted his head.
Carrot Top rolled her eyes, "She's still inside trying to get the two of them to reconsider, she's not the best negotiator but at the very least get the two of them to promise to keep quiet about using my name in Ponyville."
Corn Crib lowered her head in shame, "You use a different name?"
Realizing what she had just implied, Carrot Top reached over and pulled the filly into a short but warm hug. "Don't worry, I love being a part of this family, and I love having such wonderful cousins."
Corn Crib nuzzled her cousin, but quickly shot a curious glance up at Carrot Top. "What do you call yourself in Ponyville?"
"Carrot Top," Carrot Top said, "Cause I have an orange mane."
"But... carrot tops are green." Corn Crib said pointedly.
"I know, but when I was a little filly it meant a pony with an orange mane." Carrot Top smiled nervously, not going to mention the one time Roseluck convinced her to dye it green. "But back to my friends; could you talk them in the morning, Leadfoot?"
Leadfoot's eyes widened, "Why me? They're your friends."
"Because they've heard me talk to them for nearly a half hour. A fresh voice and a night to think about things might just be what the doctor ordered." Carrot Top said, "Luckily Roseluck's still bent on staying, she's still curious about seeing a forest spirit."
Leadfoot focused on Carrot Top, trying as hard as he could not not to glance at the scarecrow, "Heh, imagine that..."
"I know it's silly but she's so sure she might see one." Carrot Top shook her head, "Lily and Daisy too. You might use that to your advantage when you talk to them."
Leadfoot let out a tired snort, he didn't feel like arguing. "Fine, tomorrow I'll talk to them."
"Great!" Carrot Top yawned, "I know I'm keeping the two of you up... so I'll let you get some sleep. You sure I can't offer one of you your beds? It's been ages since I've slept in a barn."
Oh how Leadfoot wanted to take that offer. His bed was so warm and comfortable, having had years to mold to fit his body perfectly. Hay was nice as far as bedding went, but sleeping in it led to the awkward habit of eating in one's sleep. Leadfoot hoped that wouldn't carry over when he returned to sleeping in his bed, his pillow was brand new.
Sadly that offer was not possible, and the reason why was sitting right next to Carrot Top. His cousin hadn't noticed but the scarecrow had tilted his head down when she wasn't looking, using the brim of his hat to shield his eyes from her view. The scarecrow couldn't move or else he'd have to expose his weird feet, and Leadfoot wouldn't imagine a more unpleasant time than having to sit ramrod still all night in the cold air.
"Nah," Leadfoot said at last, "You go ahead and head back in. I like sleeping out in the hay, and so does Corn Crib."
Corn Crib was about to correct her brother until she realized what he was really saying. "Y-yeah that's right. You're the guest after all. You come first."
"Harvest hospitality, may it never change..." Carrot Top sighed happily as she slid out from under the blanket. "I'll see you two in the morning!"
The siblings said their good nights to their cousin as she disappeared down the stairs, but the scarecrow didn't move until the trio heard the doors open and close. Lord Barleycorn brought his feet up to his chest and stretched, letting out a tired yawn of his own as he worked his aching muscles.
"Thanks for sending her back inside." The scarecrow sighed, pulling the blanket back over himself. "Another few minutes stuck in that position and I would have developed a serious kink in my neck."
Corn Crib flopped her head back in the hay, finally feeling like she could relax. "That was too close."
"I'll say." Leadfoot groaned, "If she had seen you moving around... she's already dealt with seeing the farm in disarray and dad blowing his top. A talking scarecrow would be too much for her. Do you mind if we just all got some sleep?"
"Yeah, can you tell me the rest of the grail story tomorrow?" Corn Crib asked, sounding more tired by the second.
"Not a problem, I suddenly ran out of steam myself." Lord Barleycorn wrapped an arm around Corn Crib, letting her nestle in the crook of his arm. "But, if you can sneak me out a little something in the morning I can deal with Daisy and Lily for you."
Leadfoot raised his head from the hay, but only slightly. "What do you mean deal with them?"
"Think of me as a safety net." Lord Barleycorn yawned, "If you can't convince them to stay, or they sneak out early, Lord Barleycorn might make an appearance on the road."
"And what exactly will you do?" Leadfoot put a hoof over his face. "It's too late for guessing games."
"Of course, sorry." Lord Barleycorn smacked his lips, already feeling comfortable and warm. "I'll appear on the road if they leave and talk to them. Although, I might frighten them away... which is a possibility too..."
Leadfoot grumbled, "She did say Lily Valley was jumpy..."
The scarecrow shook his head a little, "I might need a gentler way of getting their attention. I can't offer them food, I don't have any and you don't have any to spare." He then muttered, "If I had my violin that'd be something."
"We don't have one of those..." Corn Crib said, not bothering to open her eyes. "But daddy has a fiddle in the attic."
"Well, if one of you could procure it for me..." Lord Barleycorn mused innocently.
"Procure what for you?"
All at once, three sets of eyes snapped wide open and swiveled to look at the mare that had appeared at the top of the steps. Carrot Top was glowering down at the scarecrow laying in the hay with her younger cousin.
"I knew I heard that thing talk!" Carrot Top snorted, pointing a hoof in Lord Barleycorn's direction. "No foal's that good at changing their voices."
Carrot Top walked over to Lord Barleycorn to plant her hoof on his chest. "What are you?"
Leadfoot watched his cousin with his jaw wide open. He had expected her to scream upon discovering the scarecrow's true nature, to run away or at the very least be stricken silent. Instead Carrot Top was staring him down with fire in her eyes.
Carrot Top prodded the scarecrow again, looking down at Corn Crib, "I know it can talk, so fess up. What is it, and how is it talking?"
"I'm merely a humble scarecrow, wishing for the best." Lord Barleycorn said, tipping his hat up with his free arm.
Carrot Top's head drew back when she returned her gaze to the mask, seeing the eyes of the creature beneath for the first time. "C-Corn Crib... it has eyes..."
"Of course I have eyes, if I have a mouth then why wouldn't I have eyes as well?" Lord Barleycorn said with a tip of his hat. Lord Barleycorn then rose to a sitting position, pushing Carrot Top's hoof off him in the process. "Forgive me for not rising and giving a proper bow, for a mare of your resplendent beauty deserves only the greatest pleasantries. I am Lord Barleycorn, King of Scarecrows, Sovereign of all Autumn, Rattler of the Ears, and all-round snappy dresser."
"Gotta play this cool... like everything's fine..." Lord Barleycorn thought, "I know I might get kicked in the teeth again but... I've got nothing else to play."
Carrot Top blinked, between the absurd titles and the gushing flattery she wasn't sure how to react. The filly that was laying in the hay next to him had her ears pinned back and was nibbling on her lip in silent worry. Still, Carrot Top couldn't help but wonder, if the filly was worried about her safety, then why was she laughing earlier?
"If you don't want to tell me your name, then I'll be happy to guess." The scarecrow folded his forelegs across its lap. "Would you be the madam Golden Harvest, the agricultural savant I've heard so much about?"
To Carrot Top's continued surprise, Corn Crib bapped the scarecrow in the barrel with her hoof and shot it an irritated frown. "She's not a servant, that's incredibly rude."
The scarecrow reached around Corn Crib and ruffled her mane, much to the filly's annoyance. "Savant, not servant. It means some... pony who's well learned in a particular field of study... in this case, the field is fields."
Corn Crib smiled at the joke, despite its terrible quality. "Oh, that's better."
While the two carried on, Carrot Top glanced back at the stairs. There was nothing stopping her from bolting if needed, but the more she watched the pair she wondered if it would be necessary. At the moment this scarecrow was just talking, and being very cordial at that. Thankfully, he wasn't as menacing as anything that had wondered into Ponyville in the past few years. Of course, the parasprites had seemed harmless at first glance...
"Leadfoot, you mind explaining this?" Carrot Top sucked in air, trying to at least appear in control in front of the apparent scarecrow. "What's going on here?"
The gray stallion let out a defeated sigh and pushed himself up to a sitting position. "He calls himself Lord Barleycorn, and Corn Crib met him on the road a few days ago. Since then he's been lurking around the farm, coming and going but staying out of sight. I know it's hard to believe, but he's really trying to help us."
"You finally believe me?" Lord Barleycorn blinked, sounding surprised.
Leadfoot looked to the biped, then slowly smiled. "I'm still skeptical about the whole 'Lord' thing, but I don't think it matters anymore. I don't think there's anypony out there that would take such a risky, hooves-on approach for the sake of complete strangers."
"Risk? What kind of risk?" Carrot Top stepped back from Lord Barleycorn to a more conversational distance.
"I promised Corn Crib that I would help the farm, and I always keep my promises. I've stayed out of sight because I don't want to attract attention to myself. Every pony that's seen me reacts the same way you did just now, and if I wasn't careful I might inspire panic instead of hope." Lord Barleycorn explained, "I'm tough, but not indestructible, and I'm okay with being an anonymous helper around here. My original plan was to do more work and attribute it to you and your friends, Ms. Harvest."
Carrot Top's ears folded back against her skull, despite how strange this whole situation was... she found herself wanting to believe the scarecrow's words. Worse, she felt a little ashamed of how she had behaved. The first time she sees him and she leaps to him being a monster? Why, was it because he wasn't a pony?
"Leadfoot, you really trust him?" Carrot Top asked.
Leadfoot nodded, "I trust him with my little sister, that should say a lot."
"I admit my efforts have only rid the farm of the rabbits, but my sights are presently set... a little higher." Lord Barleycorn said, "I plan on scoping out the lumber yard, since that's the heart and soul of the town. If I can get that running again maybe the town can stand on its own two- I mean four feet again. After, of course, I prepare to talk with your friends, if necessary."
"I heard that part." Said Carrot Top, "... you are very flattering."
"I merely present the situation wrapped up in the brightest and most colorful wrappings." Lord Barleycorn pulled the lips of his mask down, showing the mare a gentle smile.
The smooth, pale skin and sparse gold hairs around Lord Barleycorn's lips brought Carrot Top a step closer. Hesitation was replaced by curiosity, Carrot Top was no Twilight Sparkle, but she liked to think she knew all the intelligent races. Whatever he was, Lord Barleycorn was either something totally new or he was what he claimed to be; an immortal monarch like the princesses.
"Can... I see your face?" Asked Carrot Top in a more respectful tone.
The scarecrow pushed his mask closed again, "I'm sorry, but I'm not comfortable doing that."
"Is... this a trust issue?" Carrot Top asked, "Have they seen your face?"
"Well, no on both counts. I trust Corn Crib and Leadfoot with my existence here, Harvest Moon as well. But I fear I am rather... homely to ponies." Lord Barleycorn sighed, "I don't remove my mask for anypony, but I can tell you that I promised to return this face to Leadfoot after we have this farm in proper working again, along with the rest of these clothes. All of you will likely see me then."
Corn Crib grinned from ear to ear upon hearing that news.
Carrot Top sat in the hay, "You sound pretty optimistic about saving this farm."
The scarecrow thumped his chest. "I find it helps to look on the bright side as much as possible."
Scarecrow or not, there was something very noble about the thing behind the mask. If he didn't want Carrot Top to see his face then she'd humor him until the time came to return it. What puzzled her was just how tall this thing was. Just sitting up he was nearly as tall as she was standing.
Carrot Top rubbed her hooves together letting her mind run with the various questions that came and went. "Leadfoot, think you could do me a favor?"
Leadfoot frowned, "Come on Cousin Golden, it's a little late for favors."
"If you do this for me, you can sleep in the house tonight...~" Carrot Top cooed.
That got Leadfoot's attention. "What did you have in mind?"
Carrot Top cleared her throat, "You know your dad's fiddle? I'd like you to find it for me and bring it out here."
"Ah, you heard that part of our conversation, huh?" Lord Barleycorn chuckled.
Carrot Top nodded, a slight smirk on her face. "Can you really play?"
"I'm sure you would find me... adequate." Lord Barleycorn then added in a sly tone, "And your friends would too."
Leadfoot didn't get up, he instead narrowed his eyes. "It'd probably take me all night to find it."
It was then that Corn Crib spoke up. "Nah, dad always kept it in that neat little case. You could probably find it easy if you took a flashlight with you."
Leadfoot grumbled some more, but he finally stood up. "Alright then... but Corn Crib's going to have to be the one to share breakfast with him."
"Deal." Corn Crib chuckled as she looked to Lord Barleycorn with a bright but tired smile, "Guess you're eating dandelions with me tomorrow."
The scarecrow let out an melodramatic groan, "The price one pays for helping others..."
"Since I'll be staying out here tonight..." Carrot Top cleared her throat, "Is there some more room under that blanket?"
Without a word, Lord Barleycorn removed his arm from around Corn Crib and lifted the blanket in invitation.
Although hesitant, Carrot Top stepped over to the reposing pair and snuck under the blanket. With the three of them laying in the hay, Carrot Top watched as her little cousin snuggled up to the scarecrow's side again. Under the blanket, Carrot Top could see Lord Barleycorn's foreleg come up out of the growing warmth. With a shake, the sleeve fell down to reveal the strangest digits that Carrot Top had ever seen. Before she had a chance to examine them, they nestled between Corn Crib's ears, combing the little pony's mane with the gentleness of a mother's caress.
"So..." Carrot Top said, "You really like him, Corn Crib?"
The filly yawned and pressed her head back against the hand. "Yeah, he tells the best stories..."
"What about?" Carrot Top asked, her newfound curiosity helping her stay awake.
"Of Aladdin and his magic lamp, of Robin Hood and his merry... stallions." The scarecrow said plainly.
"And knights who say Ni..." Corn Crib mumbled, nuzzling into the scarecrow's shoulder.
"If you come by the barn tomorrow evening, you can hear them too." Lord Barleycorn stretched his legs out, then relaxed them. "The more the merrier."
Carrot Top lowered her head to the hay, listening to the sounds of their breathing in the silence of the barn until she fell asleep.
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To be continued...
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Yaaaay! UPDATE!
I am quite happy that he finally met Golden Harvest, and became her friend! This story is developing quite nicely.
Much happy.
Many harvest.
10/10.
Not scarecrow.
Such farming.
3744345
Oh, and FIRST!
Woo!
Eeeeeehehhehehe!!
I love this story!
SQUEE! that was awesome!
Definitely a sweet chapter, I'm also glad that carrot top took her interaction with lord barley corn well. My D'awwws certainly go to you sir.
That went a lot better than I expected it to do. No screaming at all. This guy really is the smoothest talker ever. You should get a price for that extra effort you put into writing this.
Saw a single typo while reading.
3744705 And with the two Jack Kellar noticed that makes a total of three, which isn't bad considering my track record.
Thanks for pointing it out to me. 
3744586 and D'awwws back at you.
WELL DRESSED GENTLEMEN UNITE!
You art truly a saint to suffer so and yet pull through
As always, great chapter, love it and I look forward to more
3744356
Actually, that's second. You did write the first comment, but this one is second.
As for the chapter, my only thoughts are:
Always look on the bright side of life
*whistle*
3744976 Actually it was more like:
YOU WON'T BEAT ME! I WON'T LET YOU WIN EVIL CHAPTER!
3745230 then you are the jeanne d'arc type of saint but a saint none the less
3744995 Oh, I know... That comment was a reference to the former.
Nice username, by the way.
Good stuff. One of my top 5 favorite HiE fics on the site. keep up the great writing. Not many stories here can hold my interest with the slice of life stuff, but this one does. Kudos!
I am probably a bad person for wanting to see the story with a slight love angle, but I am just a romantic I guess.
Keep up the good work!
3745552
Shhhhhh... spoilers.
D'awww. That's adorable.
Whoops.
As before I'm loving the 'noble trickster' vibe this story has and thank you for suffering so to bring us more.
Also spotted a typo:
I think that should be wandered, unless you're trying for some sort of odd philosophical meaning
3745551
*tips non-existent hat*
3746438
*lifts nonexsistent monecle ever so slightly*
(In acknowledgement.)
3746634
*harumphs egotistically while twirling imaginary curly mustache*
3746262
3746382
So glad you both approve of this chapter, and thanks for pointing those out. Fixed.
3746933
"FOOL!"
3746634
And with you two doing that routine I -for some reason- expect to see Excalibur from Soul Eater to just burst into this comment section and yell
3746933
*coughs for an extended period of time with hands on hips*
FOOL!!!
3748219
3749749 THERE we are. All is right in the world again.
3749637
*taps foot while pretending to look at invisible watch*
Lovely story is lovely
I just hope that the Harvest family will not overreact when the finds out the methods he de-rabbitted the town. But knowing what a lovable jester of a man he is I think he would still get out of trouble even if he did do what he think he did(rabbits' head on a pike). And it's not his fault animals are so tasty
Good stuff as always. This is probably the best and most interesting human that have ever graced Equestria. Love him. And same goes for the other characters, some of the best OC's I've seen in fanfic.
Now, nitpicks:
"Lord Barleycorn had froze where he had been sitting," Think you meant either "Barleycorn froze" or "Barleycorn had frozen".
"Much worse, the yellow mare had come to rest on the edge of the blanket, right next to Lord Barleycorn's boots." "Had come to rest", sounds like she just happened to end there, like she was thrown, instead of moving there of her own accord.
"You won't get over your fears of performing in front of others if you practice always alone." Think you should change it to "always practice alone". The order you put the words is kind, well, wrong.
"around the schoolyard like snow in winter, and Corn Crib must had heard all of them." Think you meant "have heard all of them".
" As tricky as Lord Barleycorn was, Leadfoot wandered how long he could keep this appearance of lifelessness. " Think you missed an "up" after "keep".
"she disappeared down the stairs, but the scarecrow didn't move until the doors were heard opened then closed" Odd wording, I suggest "until the trio heard the doors open and close" or something like that.
"Not a problem, I've suddenly ran out of steam myself." Think you meant "run". Otherwise, it should be "I suddenly ran out".
"as anything that had wondered into Ponyville in the past few years. Of course, the parasprites had seemed harmless on first glance..." Think it is "at first glance".
"The first time she sees him and she leapt to him being a monster?" Mix-up in tense. It should either be "sees" and "leaps" or "saw" and "leapt". And my spell-check wants it to be "leaped", but I'm not sure about that.
Anyway, great chapter, all of those look like oversights. Well done. Now update again, so I can find more nitpicks and enjoy and worry for these wonderful characters.
Happy writing.
3838821
Wow, that's a lot of errors but I fixed them all. thanks for pointing them out.
I'd stand still on the side of the road like a normal scarecrow, and then when they pass by, I'd start singing "If I only had a brain".
5601852
Can I be the tin-man?
Oh he's gonna Nanny mcphee them. You know when they need him but do not want him he will stay but when they want him but no longer need him he must go
5601852
Had to embed this in:
Ah yes, the follower count of our Human overlord grows...