The True Story of Vanilla Beam

by VanillaBeam

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Okay, so to recap: I am currently alone because I had an unfortunate family tragedy that cost both of my parents lives, and I have no other family to turn to. I have a focus disorder so I cannot completely take in information and am a total cluts. I pretty much trashed every job I held and got everypony in Ponyville to not trust me. AND, I doomed Equestria to the hooves of a wizard who wants to dethrown Princess Celestia. That's just the problems I caused, I don't care about the fact I am now the size of a bug now. But now is when my journey begins.

I slowly began to regain consiousness, and could finally see what happened. At first, I thought the whole ordeal with Hexyl was just a bad dream, but when I saw a giant snail slinking past me, I realized that it was all real. I needed to find a way to get someones help to get Hexyl to change me back to normal.

As I pondered these thoughts, the earth around me began to quake and shake. I looked behind me, and stared up in awe at the giant stomping my way. It was that same Pink pony who I scared the first day I came to Ponyville, Pinkie Pie I learned later. She seemed very nice when I watched her around town, but I tried to stay away from her. I didn't want to ruin anything of hers either.

Pinkie was indeed stomping my way, and she was looking around, almost as if she was trying to find somepony. I had to think fast, because a few more steps, and she could've ended me there. So I quickly dove out of her way, and just in time too. Her huge pink hoof planted on the ground right where I stood, leaving a crater in the ground (or a hoofprint to her).

When I watched her stomp forward, I took a better view of my surroundings. I was in the middle of Ponyville. This was bad, because if the ponies start coming out, I'm right in their trotting paths.

I didn't want to be hoof paste, so I ran for it, trying to find a place somewhere off of the roads. Being there were ponies starting to come out, I needed to be careful. I began dodging hooves left and right, colt and mare. I tried a couple of times to scream out to gain their attention, but no one could hear my tiny voice. Then, I spotted grass. It was perfect. I could dive in, and avoid being stomped on from there for now.

Dodging a few more hooves, I dove into the grass, and finally away from the chaos out in the open. I felt a little safer bein gout of the path of the stampeed of giants, but now I'm within the jungle of the park. Within moments, I was greeted by a few ants, that would appear to be my size. It felt weird, but calming to see something I'm still eye to eye with. They didn't wish to harm me, so I decided to stick with them. For a while, I lived like a bug, but tried to gain ponies attention, but never got through to them.

It would be a very LONG time before something else that would change my life, forever.

Comments

[APoeticHeart]

Ooh, darn cliffhangers! lol..j/k, keeping me on the edge of my seat though. Hmm. I wonder what the other thing is. Also, could it hav been Pinkie's Pinkie Sense tingling that caused her to look for somepony? Loving this so far, and I am feeling for Vanilla Beam with each chapter, now since is just a tiny little colt.

[Deep_Thought]

I felt a little safer bein gout of the path of the stampeed of giants, but now I'm within the jungle of the park.

I would have said:
"I felt a little safer being out of the path of stampeding giants, but now I was in the jungle known as the park."
Chapter 4
5th entry into story.

[Draco Dei]

Even an automated spell checker would be a big help. You could maybe get a Googledocs account? Or use a webbrowser that has apellcheck, like Firefox (I think...)or Chrome.

Also, your time-skips feel very abrupt a "tell-y", as in " show, don't tell" ( look this up online if you don't know that rule of thumb of good fiction writing).