After, a freak storm hurls Able into the land of Equestria it's up to him and Harper a musician and artist down on his luck, to not only cope with one another, and with Harper's crazed cousin who wants Able all to herself. ( A HiE with a hopefully better reactions to all the little differences in Equestria.)
Great story. Just be sure to check over your work and fix up any errors before posting ^_^
Excellent
I shall fave this with eager expectation of more.
"It all started when Michelle dumped him" ...what all started? "He looked up at the sky, cloudy and gloomy, either hinting at a something bad or something good, just like his life as of recent."
Oh, so the sky started hinting at something bad or something good, when Michelle dumped him. Ok. It's... kind of odd that your relationship would be tied to the weather, but ok. I hope this is addressed later in the story too, since you seem to point out uncontrollable weather here, and one of the things Equestria DOES feature is weather-control teams.
The blurb with Trixie is... unnecessary? Like, maybe put it in later? It's cute, but it does nothing. Able doesn't know why he's there, Harper/Storm Shock don't know why he's there, Trixie doesn't know THAT he's there... As far as she knows, the spell is a failure, so... it's just kind of a really weird thing to throw in a paragraph and leave it at that. IMO.
"I was the lightning" Oh, Storm Shock!
Why does she know what's in his refrigerator? Are you just implying that she's around a lot? Is she psychic? Reading, I kind of infer that she hangs around with Harper all the time, probably has feelings for him, but Harper is a bit annoyed by her, though he doesn't say anything.
But all of that is speculation, because all we're really given is that they already know each other, and that Storm Shock already knows the contents of Harper's refrigerator (better than Harper himself does).
By the way, who the hell is Harper? Maybe it's good on you for worrying more about personalities than physical descriptions (kind of), but maybe knowing which one is red before you tell us about the photographs, would help.
Blah.
2465417 Fixed (I knew I screwed up somewhere real bad.) I plan on have a little bit of history with Able and weird weather and why he tends to get mixed feelings about it. Michelle and Able's history will play in eventually.
Trixie will come in later.... much later.
Stormy is for lack of a better word is Harpers marefriend ( though both of them would deny that claim in a heartbeat.) and she just knows him well enough that he usually eats everything he has before he gets more. ( More elaboration at a later date.)
Harper in a nutshell: He is a deep red unicorn with a clay brown mane, his cutie mark is a harp. Ironically he works far away from music (Not spoiling everything) He and his friend Storm Shock aka Stormy are the only two ponies in the town of Flapstaff that live near the Green run forest. (The reason for the intense weather was a natural storm in the forest mixing in with a planed storm.)
2465366>>2465321 Thank you very much.
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Let me put it this way: do these characters (Harper and Storm Shock in particular) have a history? Like, that readers should go and read first? Have you written about them before? I feel like I should be familiar with them, like you're writing about them like I should be familiar with them, but I'm not, yet.
2465819 yes they do.No the reader shouldn't know about them before hand ( I love making backstories later so it kinda matches their personalities little bit better.). They are appearing for the first time from my head cannon.No. ( There may be the chance that a characters with similar names might of showed up in another fic, but I digress these two are my Harper and Storm Shock.)I may write them in somewhere else ( Later, much later).
2465969
Well.
I feel like I missed all of the characterization of them, that came in... I don't know, the last chapter? Except there wasn't one.
2465985 No. all the characterization for them is from the top of my head, and trust me you didn't miss anything yet. You will explore their relationship more in the next chapter. It mostly involves Harpers cousin
*Sees Lyra is a character in the story*
You had my curiosity...
*Reads chapter*
...but now you have my attention.
And a fave.
Positively brilliant!
Moar please
Update?
2510974
Sorry it will be up soon.
MOAR!!
And add Luna. I imagine she would read the human comics too.
Give me back my leprochaun!
2565422
?? Ables supposed powers?? or did I hide something in that I didn't notice. ( also for you a spoiler, my favorite princess is showing up.)
Update?
2609330 Should be up at about Thursday. Then I'm not gonna be able to update it for a while.
All...of...June.
NNNNOOOOO!!!!!
Good chapter though.
YAY! Update!
What sort of "adult entertainment purposes" require the use of a magic inhibitor ring? Pony-style BDSM?
3069684
Maybe...
Ah, the good ol' Sneeze Cut. A classic of comedic anime series. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png
In day 4, Lyra said "I have don't know".
You might wanna fix that.
Also, I say Stormy wins the sandwich war.
3323054
Fixed. Thanks I have had a bit of an issue pre-reading as of late.
Stormy's going into heat, eh?
Stormy's reaction:
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/000/578/1234931504682.jpg
Interesting chapter. Could use some proofreading, though. If you want, I can do proofreading for this and future chapters.
No updates for months.
Why?
Is it still alive?