The Music of Ponyville

by GrassAndClouds2

Rage

"Ow."

Fluttershy gave Octavia an admonishing look. "You could have been badly hurt," she chastised.

"Or we could have been frozen in the leshy's trap forever." Octavia winced as Fluttershy put some more salve on her injured shoulder. "I am alright, Fluttershy."

"That wound could become infected if left untreated," corrected Fluttershy, expertly tying a poultice over the shoulder and making sure it was secured.

Octavia thought about protesting that infections wouldn't matter if the world ended, but held her tongue. Going through the Everfree injured did seem like a relatively poor idea. "...alright then. And thank you."

Fluttershy smiled as she finished checking Octavia over and then helped her get back to her hooves. "You're very welcome. You should be alright now -- but don't get in any more fights," she admonished.

"That depends more on the Everfree than I."

The pair trotted over to the other four ponies, Medley giving Octavia a short nod as she approached. The other three welcomed Octavia back with backslaps and hugs, though Fluttershy was quick to break those up for fear of aggravating Octavia's injured back.

"If we're all ready, we should move on," said Medley. "We're only a few miles from the castle now."

"It might be okay to wait here for a while," said Bluenote. “I mean, Octy and Medley both got hurt, and we're all tired from that hike. No shame in taking a little break."

Vinyl nodded slightly. "It could make sense to get our strength back up. If we're gonna be awesome later, we'll need energy."

Octavia gestured up at the sky, which had gradually been emptying out. The few remaining stars were swaying in odd, ugly patterns. There was also a vast, albeit dull, reddish glow on the far eastern side of the sky, which Octavia didn't really want to think about for fear of collapsing into panic. "We do not have the time."

Fluttershy said, "But, Octavia, you and Medley really do need time to heal."

"I've bounced back from worse," said Medley.

"Not with me as your doctor," said Fluttershy in as stern a voice as the shy pegasus could manage. "You lost blood, and--"

"Fluttershy," interjected Octavia. "I want to stop too, but we cannot afford to wait. If we do not get the Elements before one of the tyrants wins, they will summon troops and move to seize them. We wil not be able to stop them then."

Fluttershy frowned. "I still think--"

"Woah, woah." Vinyl raised a hoof. "How about a compromise? Tavi's probably right that we need to get back on track, but Fluttershy's right in that you and Medley shouldn't be punching monsters in the face if we can help it. How about some of us scout ahead, and you two follow behind?"

"Because then we could get eaten by something coming from behind?" said Medley.

"I'll stay back with you two then," said Bluenote. She chuckled. "And Fluttershy too, if she wants--"

"We might need her up ahead," said Vinyl. "Lyra's good at identifying these creatures we come across, but Flutter's the only one able to talk to them."

"You still up to it?" asked Lyra. "Just remember, with me on your side, a thousand timberwolves couldn't get to you!"

Fluttershy smiled slightly. "Alright... I'm just worried about Octavia and Medley, though."

"We'll be fine," said Medley. "I think we're both tough enough to take a few scrapes."

"And I'll let you know if anything goes wrong." Bluenote chuckled. "I mean, I don't think anything will, but just in case. Okay?"

Fluttershy nodded, and Vinyl clapped her hooves. "Then it's settled. Let's go--"

"Onwards!" yelled Lyra. "To GLORY!"

And so they went on.

***

"School had just ended," continued Bluenote, "and I wanted to take a nap, because Miss Teachalot had made us do six whole math problems and I was pooped. But I had to go to the orchestra with my dad since Mom wouldn't be home that night, and every time I found a little corner to sleep in somepony came by and told me I had to move. So, finally, I crawled into one of the timpani, pulled the top shut, and got some nice shut-eye in the dark."

"Wait," said Octavia, smiling. "The infamous 'Concerto of the Foal...'"

"Yep! Suddenly, somepony's pounding on the timpani. I was so confused I popped my head up -- and I was on stage! And I was looking at an audience of a thousand really fancy ponies." Bluenote laughed. “And everypony was staring at me, so I just stuck my hoof up and waved and said 'Hi! I'm Bluenote! My daddy's the greatest musician in the world!' And I pointed at him."

Medley was giggling. "I'm afraid to ask what happened next."

"The conductor was real nice about it. They had to stop to fix the timpani, but later, he let me play the triangle during the encore!" Bluenote grinned. "That was my first stage performance. The triangle was almost as big as I was, but I had this little metal stick and I went 'Clang! Clang! Clang!'" Her expression grew wistful. "That was when I knew that I loved music. Noisy, vibrant, fun music. What's greater than that?"

Octavia nodded. "Medley, how about you? When did you start your crafting?"

Medley took a breath, as if steeling herself. "I liked the windchimes that this really rich family had. I walked by their house every day on the way to and from school, and I loved the sound they made when I was coming home and the wind was blowing. It was like the school bell, but so much sweeter... like they were telling me I was free, I could go play or do what I wanted for the rest of the day." The pegasus shrugged. "I looked in the stores for them, but they cost eighty bits -- I knew we couldn't afford that. But there was a scrap yard a few blocks from my house. So I got some metal shards and tried to imitate the chimes."

"How long did that take you?" asked Octavia.

"A while. I didn't have any good tools at first. But when I made my first set of chimes, it was beautiful... if I hadn't already gotten a cutie mark, I would have gotten one then."

"I'm surprised your cutie mark is rain," said Bluenote. "Since you're more into music."

"I was caught out in the rain one day, but instead of just getting soaked, it was like I was able to hear the patterns in the droplets of water." Medley smiled at the memory. "More than that, actually. The droplets, the thunder, the burbling of the little streams running dowhill.. it was really beautiful. Instead of rushing home, I ducked under a tree and just listened." She nodded. "I saw my cutie mark when I got home--

There was a crack from up ahead, and then the distinctive squeak of Fluttershy in fear. The three ponies immediately dropped their conversation and hurried on ahead. Octavia ran as fast as she could, ignoring the pain in her back. Please be okay...

Fortunately, she was. There was an open pit on the path ahead -- with, Octavia saw, spikes planted within it -- but none of the ponies were in it. "Told ya," Vinyl was saying. Her horn flashed a couple of times. "Gotta test the path." She shook her head. "Think, ponies."

"You were right, Vinyl," said Fluttershy, from her perch high up in a tree. She sounded a bit annoyed. "Thank you for finding the trap."

"Who put it there?" wondered Octavia.

Lyra turned to see the others. "Hey! You three are supposed to be in the back!" she said.

"We heard yells," said Medley.

"Well yeah, but I think we're awesome enough to handle a measly pit trap." Lyra was speaking with her usual energy, but Octavia noticed that she seemed a bit angrier than before. Her eyes were narrowed, and her voice had a bit of bite to it. "Don't you trust us?"

"Yes," said Octavia, not wanting to get into an argument. "I apologize. I thought you were in trouble."

"We're fine." Vinyl frowned as he hopped over the trap. "Seriously, you three should stay back. We've got the vanguard, okay? Lyra, Flutters, come on. We don't have all night."

As the trio maneuvered over the pit and further on, Bluenote frowned. "Did they seem... grumpy to you?"

"Probably just stress." Medley sighed. "We are, manifestly, not qualified for this."

"We're what the nation's got," said Bluenote. "And I have every confidence that we'll pull it off."

"Why?" asked Octavia. "I mean... obviously, I wish to succeed, and I intend to expend all of my strength if need be to accomplish our goal. But even I am skeptical. How can you be so confident?"

"I'm an optimist," said Bluenote, serenely. "I believe, if we give it all we've got and work together, we can accomplish great things. Look at what ponies have done so far. We have these amazing cities. Incredible magic. Groups of ponies can bring rain to the desert and can raise mountains out of valleys. They fought off the Smooze, and Tirek, and all sorts of monsters from the stars. There's nothing we can't do if we all work together."

"I hope you're right," said Octavia.

"I know I am. Now -- think they're far enough ahead?" Bluenote chuckled. "Wouldn't want to get left behind."

And so they continued on.

***

Octavia was the first to sense the next bout of trouble.

"That's five traps," said Bluenote, carefully stepping over a tripvine that Lyra had made glow with her magic. "I wonder how long these have been here?"

"Not long," guessed Medley. "They look pretty fresh. Something's trying to stop us... something very passive-aggressive."

Octavia smiled a little at that. "Hopefully this is the worst of it. I think we are almost at the castle. According to Zecora's directions, and the leshy, it should be less than a mile due north from here."

Bluenote grinned. "See? I knew this--"

Octavia heard a distant yell and she immediately turned her head and focused on her hearing. "Sssh!" she said. "Somepony's shouting!"

"I don't hear anything," said Medley, but she and Bluenote quieted down while Octavia listened.

The voice sounded like Vinyl's. "Well, all I'm saying is I've caught every trap so far! A little help would be appreciated!"

"A true champion doesn't shirk from any task before her!" responded Lyra. "Especially not when the day depends on it!"

"I"m not shirking! I'm just asking for you to take over for five! Freaking! Minutes!" yelled Vinyl. "Or are you too busy daydreaming about that marefriend of yours that you're too shy to even talk to?"

"HEY! Leave Bonnie out of this! Her heart is noble and true and shall not be sullied with such chatter!"

Octavia turned to her companions. "Lyra and Vinyl are yelling at each other."

"Great," muttered Medley. "That'll attract every beast in the forest."

"Let's go cheer them up!" said Bluenote.

Medley stretched a hoof in front of her. "They wanted us to stay behind. I'm sure whatever's the matter, they can sort it out themselves."

Octavia had crept forward a few steps and listened again. She was just in time to hear Lyra yell, "... oh yeah? And what do you do all day? I busk, but you sleep ‘till afternoon, throw some drum loops together, and rave all night! What do you work, two hours a week? The rest of it's just partying and--"

"HEY! I work damn hard!" Vinyl's voice was a roar. "I build and maintain all my own tech, I do my own bookings, accounting, composing, and effects! Every single thing you see on stage at my shows is a Vinyl Scratch creation! If you ever tell me I don't work hard--"

"STOP IT!"

Octavia's eyes widened. That last voice sounded like Fluttershy's, but it couldn't be. Fluttershy didn't shout.

"JUST STOP IT!" repeated Fluttershy. "Who cares about your problems? The world's going to end! Just -- just clear the road so we can save everypony!"

"Excuse me? I don't take orders from the town vet," said Vinyl.

"Well, maybe I don't think all my animals' lives should be in the hooves of some lovestruck bard and layabout DJ! When have you ever helped other ponies, or cared about anypony besides yourself? What, afraid if the world ends you won't have any more groupies, Vinyl?"

"At least I don't badger everypony about a dozen stupid causes! Newsflash, Flutter-butt, nopony cares about the Society to Protect Artisan PIcklers! Picklers are not a persecuted minority!"

"You don't know the first thing about the plight of the pickler! At least I CARE!" screamed Fluttershy. "All you two care about is your groupies and your crush that you're too much of a coward to TALK TO!"

Lyra stomped a hoof. "Say that again," she hissed.

Octavia frowned as she turned to the others. "This is not normal. Fluttershy's screaming her head off."

"What?" Medley shook her head. "No way. That's not Fluttershy."

"Maybe it's another monster?" ventured Bluenote, timidly. "Something making them mad?"

"At this point, nothing in this forest would surprise me," said Octavia.

"Let's go," said Medley. She flapped her wings. "We'll figure this out--"

"Wait. If it is a spell, we could be trapped as well." Octavia bit her lip. "A monster might have attacked our vanguard, but if we just charge ahead it could sense us and attack us too. We need a plan." But Vinyl's been doing most of the strategy so far...

"I'll snap them out of it," said Bluenote, suddenly.

The cellist and the craftsmare looked at each other. "Uh," said Medley. "Blutenote, I--"

"Hey, making ponies laugh and smile is what I like to do. And I'm really good at it!" Bluenote began to trot down the path in a hurry. "I even helped Pinkie write her 'Smile Smile Smile' song we did for the foals last Hearth's Warming Eve. I've got this! You two just find the monster!"

And she raced off. The other two ponies exchanged quick glances, then followed.

***

Octavia wasn't thrilled with the plan, but she was probably the best in the group for sensing anything non-magical, thanks to her hearing. Medley didn't seem to like it either, but she had to admit she was probably the most capable of beating monsters in fights. So Octavia crept after Bluenote, listening for monsters, and Medley followed her, limbering up for another battle.

"...what do you want? Besides a bowl of pasta?" Vinyl's voice was sharp and laden with contempt. "Why are you even here? You haven't done anything yet."

"Yeah. Champions are supposed to be righteous! Noble! Elegant! You're none of them!" yelled Lyra. "You're like an anti-champion!"

Octavia reached the edge of a small clearing that contained the other four ponies. She was just in time to see Bluenote chuckle as she examined herself. "Yeah, I guess I am," the tuba player said. "I probably look pretty silly, charging off into the woods. I mean, I teach foals how to play recorders. Not really the hero sort."

"So go away! We'll get along without you!" yelled Vinyl. "And Lyra, if you don't shut your cake-hole I'll show you how good my magic really is." Her horn flashed red. "Ever been to one of my shows? See the pyrotechnics? Imagine what a face full of those would feel like."

"Bring it! My love for my Bonnie will allow me to weather any challenge!"

"Shut up about your Bonnie already!" yelled Fluttershy. "Nopony cares about your selfish love!"

"Right," muttered Octavia. "That is not normal." She frowned. "Do their eyes look unusually red to you?"

Medley frowned. "...maybe? It's too dark to tell."

Indeed, the moon seemed oddly... dim... but Octavia was pretty sure that their eyes were redder than usual. "If it is a spell, the caster may be nearby. The leshy was line-of-sight, so maybe this monster will be too."

"Assuming this isn't just some spell somepony left behind."

"Assuming that, yes." Octavia nodded her head. "We should--"

Bluenote was continuing to laugh. "Come on, girls. Don't you see how silly you look?" She twisted her face into an exaggerated grimace. "You're all snarly, and you look real mean, and you're baring teeth and--"

"Well, maybe that's ‘cause we've been fighting our way through this STUPID FOREST!" screamed Vinyl. "And not just sauntering in the back like a certain lazy fatso we could name!"

"Right!" hissed Fluttershy. "I would never let one of my pets turn into something like you. You're a meanie greedy glutton; you don't give to anypony but you just take whatever you want!"

"Hmm." Bluenote smiled. (Meanwhile, Octavia and Medley were beginning to creep around the edges of the clearing to try to find monsters.) "Really?"

"Yes! Really!" thundered Lyra. "You don't know anything!"

"Not a single thing," snapped Vinyl.

"Really? Wow, that sucks." Bluenote sighed. "But if I don't know anything, that means I don't know any wrong things either! ...right?"

"What?" Fluttershy looked baffled.

"I don't know any wrong things! Some ponies, they know lots of stuff, but it's all wrong!" Bluenote grinned. "I once knew a pony who knew a million math answers, but each and every one of them was wrong!" She shook her head. "She went diving with two oxygen tanks that each held five minutes of air. She thought that meant she had fifteen minutes.... boy, was her face red when she scrambled back up!"

"...is there a point to this stupid story?" asked Vinyl.

"Yep! I made a song about ponies like that." Bluenote grinned. "Want to hear it?"

"NO!" they all yelled.

Bluenote grinned and took a few breaths to prepare to sing anyway. "Ahem. This song is to all the ponies who know lots of facts -- all of them wrong!" And she began:

"I was riding on an old train, on the fast line, with a rabid Ursa Minor in my underpants, when suddenly, the colt behind me in the next seat popped right up and put his hoof over my eyes! I guessed, is it Uncle Frank, or Cousin Loonie? Is it Bob or Joe or Waltzer? Could it be Bill or Jim? Or Red or Bernie or Steve? I probably would have kept on guessing but about right then we crashed into the gorge!"

Octavia could not help but stare. Bluenote had begun dancing spritely, mimicking the motions she was singing -- throwing a hoof over her eyes, jumping as if being thrown from a train. She looked like a complete fool. The three angry ponies were also staring at her in total stupification. Bluenote didn't seem to notice; instead, she just kept singing:

"And as I'm laying laughing there in the train car, next to the griffin king, as the face of my old tuba dealer takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me--"

She spread her forelegs wide as she began to bounce back and forth on her hind legs.

"Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down, and short is long!
"And everything you thought was just so important does not matter!" (Bluenote had moved very near Lyra now, and was dancing almost in her face. Octavia saw the corners of her mouth begin to twitch upwards.)
"Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along!
All you need to understand is -- everything you know is wrong!"

And Lyra burst into giggles, falling back and flailing her legs everywhere.

"This is horrible!" yelled Vinyl. "My worst song is a million times better than this!"

Octavia almost said something, but her ear twitched. A section of the forest, stretching between about ten trees, was growing hazy, and she thought she heard some muttered grunts emitting from that area. She reached back and found Medley, then pointed her towards that area. Meanwhile, Bluenote was resuming her song:

"I was walking to the kitchen for some sugared grass when I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimension, and soon I was abducted by some strange monsters from space -- they kind of looked like Hugh Jelly! They checked all my internal organs and they took some photographs and said I was a bloody-good sport, and as a way of saying thank you, they offered to transport me back in any time in history that I would care to go! And so I had them send me back to Pinkie's last birthday, so I could have another slice of cake! Just then the floating, disembodied head of Princess Cadance started yelling--"

She hopped in front of Fluttershy, who seemed to be having trouble deciding if she wanted to laugh or yell at her. Anger warred with amusement on her face. Meanwhile, Lyra was still laughing hysterically on the grass.

"Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down, and short is long!
"And everything you thought was just so important does not matter!" Bluenote flopped back and began bouncing up and down on her bottom. Giggles began to escape Fluttershy's mouth.
"Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along!
All you need to understand is -- everything you know is wrong!"

Bluenote pulled a funny face, stuck out her tongue, waggled her hooves, and Fluttershy dissolved into laughter as well.

Vinyl looked like she was about to smile, but her eyes suddenly flashed red and her face resumed its angry expression. Bluenote grinned, undaunted, and hopped over to her.

The hazy area in the woods shrank until it was only a few feet on each side. Octavia smiled, guessing that the monster was drawing power from the ponies in its spell -- and if Bluenote freed Vinyl, the illusion might fail completely and they could grab the monster. "There!" she whispered to Medley. "Get around that hazy area, behind the big tree there."

Medley nodded and began to silently fly around. Bluenote, meanwhile, was resuming her song:

"I was just about to mail a letter to my evil twin when I got a nasty papercut, and well, to make a long story short, it got infected, and I died! So now I'm in the beyond with ol' Cadance by the Star Palace, and it's obvious she doesn't like this cute li'l bowtie that I'm wearing. She tells me that they've got a dress code." She sighed, somehow managing to acquire a remarkably hangdog look despite that fact that she was dancing a wild jig in the middle of the apocalypse. Vinyl's mouth was quivering.

"Well, she let me in the palace anyway, but I got the room next to the noisy fog machine for all eternity! And every day, she bursts in screaming--

“Everything you know is wrong! Black is white, up is down, and short is long!
"And everything you thought was just so important does not matter!" Bluenote flailed her hooves. Octavia saw the corners of Vinyl's mouth began to turn upwards.
"Everything you know is wrong! Just forget the words and sing along!
All you need to understand is -- everything you know is, everything you know is, everything you know is wrong wrong wrong wrong WRONG!"

And then Vinyl was laughing too, and even Octavia could not help but join in, and there was a 'crack' and the afflicted ponies seemed to flash and lose the red films over their eyes. They didn't even seem to notice, though -- they just kept on laughing hysterically, all grudges forgotten.

The illusion about the trees vanished with a flash, and a little pony-shaped beast was standing between two tall trees, red coat ozzing a faint, bloody liquid and large yellow eyes bulging with hate. Before it could do anything, Octavia -- still laughing -- leapt at it. The creature sprang backwards... directly into the hooves of Medley.

It was the work of moments to tie it up with branches and vines, and then Medley and Octavia entered the clearing. "Got the monster!" Medley said, grinning. "We all friends again?"

And they were.

***

Lyra identified the monster as a tagasoro, a rare beast from the Foalippines that fed by driving its victims into murderous rages. When the carnage was over, the tagesoro gathered up the bodies and feasted. Fortunately, they could be defeated with pure laughter and joy -- which Bluenote had to spare.

"There," said Medley, as she finished tying the tagesoro to a tree. "Fluttershy, did he say anything else?"

"That he's very sorry he set all those traps to help get us angry," said Fluttershy, who was blushing and seemed very embarassed about her outbursts. "And he's sorry for casting that spell on us. And he really hopes we don't eat him."

"I dunno," said Vinyl. "Maybe we could give him to the kelpies on the way back as a thank you for letting us go."

Bluenote giggled.

"I'm sorry," said Lyra, suddenly. "What I said was beneath me, and I shouldn't have. I--"

"Hey, wait. I should apologize first," said Vinyl. "I was way out of line."

"I was worst of all," Fluttershy interjected. "I'm so sorry... I understand if you don't want to be my friends anymore."

"Of course we do!" said Lyra. "Everypony -- friends, right?"

The others agreed, and Fluttershy smiled a little.

Octavia looked up to stretch her neck, and gasped. There were very few stars in the sky, only a moon, and at the other edge of what she could see of the sky, a larger, dimmer object that looked vaguely sun-shaped. As she watched, another star fell out of the sky, streaking towards earth until it was obscurred by the trees. "Girls. I am sorry, but we need to hurry."

"Why -- woah." Vinyl looked up in the same direction as Octavia. "No wonder it's been getting harder to see. The stars are just gone."

"Come on... just a little further," urged Fluttershy, helping Bluenote to her hooves. The dance seemed to have tired the blue pony. "I'll help support you."

"I'm fine, but thanks."

Octavia got the group into some semblance of readiness, and then Vinyl got them into a line. "Alright," she said. "This way."

***

When they came out of the woods and saw the ancient castle, all of them stared for a moment.

The castle was huge, as big as the one in Canterlot. The walls were crumbling, but still formed a formidable barrier. Some of the towers had collapsed, but others stood tall and proud. It was the most imposing structure Octavia had seen.

But the Elements were somewhere within. Guarded, if Lyra's song spoke true, by one final trap each from Burning Sun and Nightmare Moon, and perhaps even spells of Princess Cadance's own design as well. But still, they were there. The Elements, the world's last and greatest hope, resided within.

"Alright," said Octavia. "The final part of the journey." She nodded. "Let's go inside and find the Elements."

"Yeah." Vinyl grinned. "Let's do it."

"Let's be heroes!" yelled Lyra.

"Let's save the world," added Bluenote.

"And those that depend on us," finished Medley.

Fluttershy grinned. "Let's give it our all."

And so the six friends journeyed into the ancient castle, scarcely knowing what new dangers awaited them.

Comments

[Bree R]

Seemed a bit rushed and like it could've used some more descriptions in a few places. Still overall was enjoyable. Thanks for sharing.

[Hilltopper2]

Gotta love the Weird Al adaptation but the scansion of the lyrics seemed ... off.

[Rainbow_Flash]

2661452 I agree. No parts rhymed very well, so it didn't seem like a song. Other than that, great chapter!

[GrassAndClouds2]

2661452>>2661617: This song doesn't rhyme. It's more of a spoken prose song than verse.

[Rainbow_Flash]

Ooooh. Then why was it called a song?

[GrassAndClouds2]

2661641: Because that's what it's called. :-) If I go to iTunes and buy 'Everything you Know is Wrong' by Weird Al, it's filed under songs.

Songs don't have to rhyme. They just have to be musical.

[Hilltopper2]

2661645 Scansion has nothing to do with rhyme, and everything to do with rhythm. Some of the words just didn't match the meter. I do like that you tried though.

[Workable Goblin]

There were very stars in the sky, only a moon, and at the other edge of what she could see of the sky, a larger, dimmer object that looked vaguely sun-shaped.

Do you mean "very few" here?

And "a" moon? Does Equus (or Earth or whatever you want to call the planet) have more than one?

[Rainbow_Flash]

2661645>>2661722 Hmm. Alrigthy author, but I agree with Princess Maclestia here. It does have to have rhythm, which some parts lacked Still, awesome job! You are WAY more experienced with writing than I am!

[RanmaChaos]

Great But this story still doesn't have a hundred likes yet! What's up with that? Maybe you should try getting a shout out from the Lunaverse.

[punzil504]

I like the mix of weird, somewhat obscure legendary beasts that keep popping up to have our heroes display the connections to their Elements.

I also get the impression that Bluenote and Rainbow Dash could have a napping contest or something.

[Talon and Thorn]

Octavia looked up to stretch her neck, and gasped. There were very stars in the sky, only a moon, and at the other edge of what she could see of the sky, a larger, dimmer object that looked vaguely sun-shaped. As she watched, another star fell out of the sky, streaking towards earth until it was obscurred by the trees. "Girls. I am sorry, but we need to hurry."

Not sure what this tells us about the state of play between the Alicorn's the fact the sun looks dim suggests a loose for Celestia but do the stars belong to Luna or are the effectively bystanders in the conflict between sun and moon.

[GrassAndClouds2]

2662908: Well, it's still nighttime and the sun shouldn't be out at all...

The stars are Luna's. She rules the night sky and uses them to make it pretty.

[slayer 13]

hello I just wanted to say that this fan fiction is amazing. I love the characterization is great, the idea is great, and the writings great, i wish i could write a story like that.

[Talon and Thorn]

2664909

I assume its Chennai aka Madras, Chennaipattinam and Madrasapattinam its a city in north east india.

[GrassAndClouds2]

2664909>>2665040: Yep, Chennai.

[Talon and Thorn]

2665523

How is your pony version of India? Is the native population ponies or another race colonised by ponies in a British Raj style?

If its the latter the Raj would seem to me to be a Nightmare Moon plan subverting rulers and taking control via alliances rather than direct conquest.

[Emeral Bookwise]

Got a little behind again, sorry about that. Anyway, not much to say about Ch11, but Ch12....

So about the song; for once I'm not going to complain about your musical choice (possibly just because I'm a big Weird Al fan). However, I do find some of choices for lyrical substitution, or lack there of, suspect.

In the first verse alone... an ursa minor, really; that seems just a bit large. Plus why would Bluenote even be wearing underpants, or pants in general; ponies generally being naked and such. Also, the train crash just kind of comes out of nowhere, since unlike in the actual song Bluenote is just passenger and not driving. Oh, and the list of names she was guessing seemed to have a serious dearth of pony-sounding names.

Now admittedly, some of this could be chalked up the assumed improvisational nature of the piece, that Bluenote isn't bothering to think about whether anything she's singing makes even the least bit of sense. Even at that though it seems odd for her to include so many morbid/dark concepts, such as the aforementioned train crash, live autopsies, disembodied heads, evil twins, deadly paper-cuts.

Actually, since she seems to get each of the bespelled ponies to start laughing one-by-one, it seems that an opportunity was missed and that maybe each verse should have perhaps been tailored to them specifically; still Bluenote singe about herself in all these crazy scenarios, but with the events in someway relevant to the pony she is singing to at that moment. Also, since the chorus is repeated twice at the end of the song, ~maybe~ Vinyl should have taken over/joined in for the last part before collapsing in her own fit of hysteria.

Oh, and on a note about the tagasoro, I'm not really sure we needed the details about it feasting on the corpses after driving its victims into a murderous rage, and think that maybe it could have just been the violence itself that the creature feeds off of. Sort of like how changelings can feed of love. Also, it seems odd that the thing would apologize for acting in its nature, though I guess it could just be blatantly lying to save its own hide.

...

Beyond those largely nominal complaints though, I really enjoyed this chapter and the deeper look it gave us into Bluenote. She seems to be the group's "anti-troll". Whereas on the show it was Fluttershy whose self-esteem was so low that she was immune to Discord's corrosive attempts (though not his blatant mind control), it seems Bluenote would be the pony most likely to fill that role if the C6 where ever in similar scenario.

...

About the sky, however; I could have sworn the sun rose way back when the mad alicorns first appeared. I'd certainly been imaging all of the events since then as happening underneath an unnatural twilight where it was both day and night simultaneously, mirroring the conflict between the alicorns and adding to apocalyptic tension of this scenario.

[RK_Striker_JK_5]

I loved you using Weird Al.

[Alchemystudent]

I am reading this at late at night, but I couldn't help but to burst out singing with the song. I love it that much.

[Skyeheart]

Definitely esoteric, as you promised. But it works better than trying to stretch something familiar in a way that would fit awkwardly. This is definitely an A rate premiere so far.

[Whiteeyes]

She hopped in front of Fluttershy, who seemed to be having trouble deciding if she wanted to laugh or yell at him.

Whoops, that should say "her" at the end. Unless everything we knew about Bluenote was wrong...

[Freewing Alchemist P]

We wil not be able

Just wanted to point that out.

[the other sans]

Society to Protect Artisan PIcklers

1. Extra capitalisation.

[PiMan]

2670200
There's no problem with the song because everything in it is unashamedly wrong, except ironically, that everything you know is wrong.

[Emtu]

I've been tearing through this story to catch up, and I grinned like a loon when I realized this was the equivalent to the Giggle at the Ghosties scene.

Also I played the video and paused at the appropriate times to read the parts between the lyrics. Weird Al!

[Alchemystudent]

I like Bluenote's test, as it perfectly demonstrate what it means to be a hero. You can be chubby and a little gluttonous and silly and still be a hero like our cute little bluenote. IHer test was essentially to pull the girls out of a funk and remind them what it means to be best friends. It gavethe m a chance to realize just how petty their squabbles were and how much their strengths and good qualities meant to each other. It was also nice how OCty and Medely's relationship has grown throughout the story.

[HeartfireFirebrand]

6497935
Yeah.

[HeartfireFirebrand]

"Hey, making ponies laugh and smile is what I like to do. And I'm really good at it!" Bluenote began to trot down the path in a hurry. "I even helped Pinkie write her 'Smile Smile Smile' song we did for the foals last Hearth's Warming Eve. I've got this! You two just find the monster!"

And she raced off. The other two ponies exchanged quick glances, then followed.

Makes sense.