Dysphoria

by Owlor

Further Evidence #3

From the journal of White Linen -- Year 2 of the Second Diarchy, 13 of First Blossom.

We definitely weren’t ready. Not for something like this. Or maybe I’m the one that’s too weak?

When I first accompanied the Equestrian Royal Guard to Sugarcube Corner, I didn’t know what to expect. I felt so... out of place. Me, a recently graduated medical doctor, accompanying Equestria’s finest. Three teams were assembled. Three doctors accompanied by ten golden-clad unicorns.

I still don’t understand how Celestia came to the conclusion that another one of the Elements had done it. Loyalty and Kindness were the first two, but it was only when Magic herself fell that Celestia’s eyes started scanning the land. Was it selfish of her? Celestia always knows best.

I remember how the two little foals cried when the soldiers busted down the doors. One yellow earth pony stallion tried to talk to them, only to be tackled to the floor by a guard. A blue mare arrived, but were caught in the shuffle They protested, but none of the guards were hearing. They answer to Celestia, and to Her only.

The situation threatened to go out of control, but then she arrived on the scene. Laughter. It still haunts me how perfectly she fits her Element. Laughter laughed. Even as the foals cried and their parents laid pinned on the ground shouting and cursing. Even as two guards tackled her to the floor and completely immobilized her! The other guards began searching the house thoroughly.

The couple protested as dishes and pastries were thrown on the floor without any regard. In my head I was composing a millions of apologies. All of which was forgotten when I heard a guard announce, with that unnaturally calm voice, that he had found something.

The trapdoor. Under the rug. It was so simple! Why couldn’t anypony have noticed that before?!

I’ve seen life escaping a pony’s body as their eyes lost their spark. I’ve seen life being breathed in as they were born. But nothing. Nothing could’ve prepared me enough for what we saw. The guards didn’t even flinch... and I can’t help but admire envy their resolve.

I can’t The only way I can properly describe this scene without pushing myself into madness is to let go of my literary aspirations and describe it as I would the contents of a pony’s dissected ribcage.

The room was stained from the floor all the way to the ceiling with a red color that in places was drying into a darkish brown. The smell of rust... of death was unbearable. I was let down the stairs and... Oh dear, the memories are returning.

Several skinned corpses are thrown carelessly on the floor, innards and bones protruding through the muscle tissue. Three corpses had been specially put aside and preserved by amateurish taxidermy. I can identify these as three of the other Elements, Loyalty, Kindness and Magic, but they are missing their features.

The missing horns and wings are found... There is was a ponyquin standing proudly at the end of the room, with a dress and a necklace resting on it. The dress was a multi-colored quilt of skins. I try to count the numbers of cutie marks visible, but I get sick after five.

Then I hear heard it. A little filly’s voice. I ignored the gore that surrounded me as I desperately searched for any survivors. Only when I found her, a scalpel held between an innocent grin, I realized that she was calling for Laughter, not somepony who could help her.

She rushed forward, aiming for my carotid artery. The scalpel bounces against the chitin of my hooves; I had apparently raised it to shield myself. I couldn’t process what happened until she was struggling on the floor, a stallion holding her down.

She screamed. She begged for Laughter, and laughter came. The pink pony laughed from upstairs, so carefree that for a second, I thought that she might’ve overpowered the guards. Drops from a leaky pipe filled the silence as we expected a pink hurricane to launch at us at any second.

The guard up above announced that everything was fine, prompting the one with me to reply with an all clear of his own. He explained that a filly tried to attack me like I wasn’t even there. Called me meat. Is a piece of flesh everything I truly am?

Hearing this made the little filly cry. It would have been heartbreaking to see if only the nerves under my hoof just where she hit them with her knife still didn’t ache.Everypony was escorted out, Laughter, the filly, the still screaming foals and their parents. I think about all the trouble they will have to go through with the Foal Protection Agency just to get their own children back and I can’t help but feel sympathy.

I’ve never felt as superfluous before in my life. Even getting summoned to retell my experiences to Celestia in person felt more like a formality than anything else. The ponies at the scene were all beyond my help in one way or another, as I reported to Celestia.

And then, she asked me what had struck me the most about the scene.

Good question. Like anyone studying medicine, I probably have more experience than most with handling cadavers. And something I noticed during my time in the Royal Academy of Medicine was how hard it was for my fellow students to wrap their heads around the fact the cadavers we used were once living, breathing ponies with lives, friend and family.

I saw none of that tendency toward deponification in the basement of Sugarcube Corner. She seemed to have honed in on the aspects of a pony thats generally seen as representing their individuality and vitality; horns, wings and cutie marks. What struck me the most about the display in that blood-stained basement is that she absolutely seemed to understand that the ponies she was killing were individuals in their own right... she just didn’t seem to care.

Celestia simply thanked me before I was dismissed from her presence. After that, I was finally allowed to return to my life.

But life will never be the same again.

I sometimes wonder if Celestia would grant me a memory cleaning spell.

Comments

[Siegfried]

It's about time I found a gumshoe Detective Story that glued me in! And not only that, it also reads like a good Noire Movie from the '50s. If you haven't, you should play the game LA Noire. You'll probably like it.

I also really like Borderline. Did you watchSilence of the Lambs? It reminded me of that rather unique movie. And the Stallion who wanted death was Time Turner, wasn't it?

[G-AB Acid]

2749702 T'seems t'll take a while before that happens. No problem, as long as it does happen, that is.

[Owlor]

2896357 2749702

Yeah, it's gonna take a while, but I can give you a little progress report:

Chapter 7 is stuck halfway between second draft and first editing pass, and it's kicking our arses.

Chapter 8 is almost completely authormoded (=written without much care or thought of the final result, it's basically what we call a second draft.)

Chapter 9 is in bracketmode (=all the important actions are there, but large chunks is skipped over with <and then stuff happens>, it's basically what we call a first draft.)

chapter 10-11 is in various stages of planning. And that's basically where we are now. Don't worry, though. oce we're done, there's prolly gonna be a big announcment to the effect of "we're done! finally,we're done!"