My little Revolution: Britain and Her Colonies

by batran

The retreat of Brandywine and the Everfree Forest

Warning: This is an early version of the chapter and would change overtime, instead of disliking this, you could show me what mistakes to fix!

Btw, this is the first chapter so it won't be as good as my later chapters so I suggest you try reading the whole story before judging it. But also, this chapter was made during my early writing skills, so I suggest reading on as my experiences with story writing got better.

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"No taxation without representation!"

"Without money there will be no order!"

"We bow to no royalty!"

"Rule Britannia!"

"We the people!"

"Leaving us would be anarchy!"

"We make our own decisions now!"

"Rebel scum! You terrorize us all, you deserve to be put down!... Like dogs!"

"I, Ben Franklin, believe a new nation will rise above the ashes, I believe in America..."

"We shall restore order to the colonies."

"General Washington, the enemy is flanking us!"

"Ha! we got the patriots on the run!"

---

Battle of Brandywine
Meeting house Hill
Afternoon

There were sounds of explosions and blood curling screams everywhere, there was also the sound of men yelling at one another as well. Verbal fights are very common as hatred and annoyance fills the air on both sides.

Sweat poured down the cheeks of another Continental Soldier as he emptied his musket on a British musician meters away. He hastily reached down to his sides reaching for some more ammo. Feeling around his waist, he felt nothing there. He looked down and realized that he ran out of bullets to fire.

"Adamson!" yelled a young French voice behind him. Adamson turned his head towards the voice, revealing one of his comrades calling out to him. "Adamson! Ze general had called for our retreat, we cannot die out 'ere!"

"Don't worry Marseille," he called back in a bold Russian-American like accent even though he is from Manhattan, "You and the others stay here with me a little more, I think I see a couple more of them Lobster-Backs that needs slaughtering!"
said Adamson as he gestured to several British Redcoats closing in on him.

Adamson turned back around and saw a butt of a musket, held by an British Infantryman, racing towards him. His body froze up for a little bit, unable to think and compute what is going to happen. Eventually, the musket seems to meet up with his face slamming him backwards into the mud.

Marseille's eyes widened at this, "Adamson!" screamed Marseille. His anger boiled like fire inside him as he rushed towards his fallen comrade. His friends seems to notice Marseille's and eleven of them risked it all just to hastily rushed to protect their bold Manhattanite. With a cry Marseille drove his bayonet into a Redcoat. The Redcoat didn't seem to scream as he coughed up blood from the spear in his stomach. Marseille pulled his musket's bayonet out of the Redcoat and the Redcoat's body fell to the ground as blood poured out of his body, draining out his life every second. Another soldier behind Marseille, known as Mitts followed his friend's example by ramming his own into another Redcoat.

Adamson, quickly recovered, woke up just in time to see a bayonet, from the same British Infantryman, coming towards his chest. He grabbed the bayonet and pushed it out of the way and it hit the mud inches away from his face. He kicked his legs to the British Infantryman, making him let go of his musket that was stuck in the mud. Adamson got up to his feet and punched the British Infantryman in the kisser knocking him out.

"Allen!" screamed the last British soldier towards his friend, He looked to Adamson with his face filled with fear. The last British soldier tried to run but was punched to stay in place by Adamson's fellow comrade. He (The British soldier) whimpered in pain as he tried to crawl away, he looked up into the sky and saw lightning flashing from all sides. He turn towards the Thirteen Continental soldiers and was shocked to see all of them closing in on him. One of them raised their bayonet towards him. The Soldier closed his eyes shut waiting for the inevitable. Suddenly, a bright flash hit the area near him, temporary blinding the Continental soldiers. The British Soldier opened his eyes and saw his chance and started to crawl away, but another bright light hits all of them and suddenly... Darkness...

----------------------------------------------------------------------
???????? Forest
0100 HRS

"Huh?" whispered The British soldier as he jolted awake with a sudden pain in his head. he quickly looked around to find the other Soldiers. He saw nothing but Continental soldiers trying to recover what happened in the blast and trees surrounding them.

After a few uneasy seconds the British soldier called out to his friend "Allen!?". He waited a few seconds then tried again but louder this time, "ALLEN!?". The Thirteen Contintental Soldiers took notice of this, The New Yorker grabbed the Lone British soldier around the neck.

"Let me go!" cried out the Lone Infantryman

"What is your name?" Said the New Yorker in a light dutch accent.

"Boniface Kent, Now let me go!" cried out the British Soldier.

"Well we are going to kill you at first, but we are going to be nice-" The British soldier paled a little at the word "-and keep you as prisoner, right guys?"

"Aw come on!" complained Mitts,

"Ahem!?" Replied the New Yorker,

"Ugh, fine!" sighed Mitts.

Boniface was uncertain at first, but realized that he isn't coming out of this dark scary hideous forest alive if he doesn't learn to trust his enemy, he reluctantly nodded his head a couple times. The Squad (Squad is made up of 8 to 14 Soldiers) looked around the forest then heard a startling blood curling scream in the far distance.

"U-um, maybe we should camp here tonight, eh?", Said Philips in a timid voice. Everyone nodded and unpacked their bags and got to work. The Southern Americans mostly did all the work, as most of them were farmers and know how to survive in the wilderness James Jackson from Maryland also had been in the Frontier. They gathered sticks and stones, and found a couple logs. They set up camp and sat down to rest.

"So," Started Brandon Harkness from Pennsylvania he paused for a moment before asking, "My Regiment is 7th of Pennsylvania, what is yours?"

"Actually, I am also from the Pennsylvania 7th Regiment" responded Gunther Von Frederickson

There was a dozen "Me too" and "same here". Boniface Kent however was from a different army so he haven't said anything about being in the 7th.

"I am from the 1st Battalion," said Boniface pointing his finger in the air, "and I am under orders of Captain Cox!"

Everyone chuckled at the last few words except for Boniface who was confused about this, possibly he was innocent.

"Vell, what part of the company are you then? His b*tch?" joked John Melinda Von Frederickson, twin "brother" of Gunther Von Frederickson. Boniface went pale before replying back,

"Oi! I'm not his female dog you Hessian!"

"I'm not a Hessian, I'm a Brunswicker! For your information Hessians come from Hessen!" Yelled the southern German-American before burying his face in his hands.

"Just great Boniface." said Gunther in a sarcastic tone

There was a pause for a moment.

"So where did you guys come from?" asked The Redcoat

"I come from Massachusetts" replied Robert Adamson in a bold tone,

"I-I am from New Hampshire" replied Adam Philips said timidly,

"Virginia, I'm from Virginia" replied George Garnett,

"Rhode Island" replied Henri Le Marseille proudly,

and the list goes on (Check in the Authors notes for more info).

"Wait, if Gunther was from North Carolina and John Melinda was from South Carolina, and you said you were twins...?" Questioned Boniface, unable to finish the sentence.

"We were separated when we were young, but we managed to meet up again while signing up in the 7th." Responded John Melinda.

"Oh."

"Guys, I have just noticed that we have similar names.. well kinda but, why don't we refer ourselves as in states/nation? it's like codenames? I like codenames..." Everyone thought this was a stupid idea at first but in a world where they are turned into ponies, so they cannot give out their names just yet.

"Well we better get some sleep, tomorrow we need to move out of this forest."

12 hours later

"Come back here, Lunch!" yelled Connecticut while chasing a beaver. The beaver was all over the place, Connecticut leaped on top of the beaver. He would've got the drop on it but the vermin moved out of the way just in time and Connecticut fell face first on the ground. "DAMMIT!" Screamed Connecticut. He got up and wiped his bloody nose. He then looked to his left and saw there was a bright light in the distance. He realized that it must be an exit and ran towards it like a happy child and leaped gracefully out of the clearing and landing on his face yet again. "Not again..." Winced Connecticut, he got up and dust himself off and put his hands on his hips. His eyes soon rest upon some type of large town, It's style indicates that it was built about a century ago. His expression went giddy as he found a town where there was plenty of food and drink! He turned around and raced back to camp.

After a dozen minutes, Connecticut found the camp and raced towards it flailing his arms about yelling, "I found a town in the clearing! I found a town in the clearing!" Everyone cheered and quickly packed their bags and followed Connecticut to the clearing. But all of them started to slow down a little after a few questions raced through their minds: Who are they? Who is their allegiance towards? Are they friendly?

Author's Note:

*read this, please*

I am still new to literature but getting better by each story. Sorry I cannot finish the other stories. Other people seems to focus on the quality instead of the point of the story. If you don't think there is enough character development, then that means the characters would thicken their personality later in the story.

Anyways, here is info on Battle of Brandywine.

The Battle of Brandywine, also known as the Battle of Brandywine Creek, was fought between the American army of Major General George Washington and the British army of General Sir William Howe on September 11, 1777. The British defeated the Americans and forced them to withdraw toward the rebel capital of Philadelphia. The engagement occurred near Chadds Ford, Pennsylvania during Howe's campaign to take Philadelphia, part of the American Revolutionary War.

Howe's army sailed from New York City and landed near Elkton, Maryland in northern Chesapeake Bay. Marching north, the British army brushed aside American light forces in a few skirmishes. Washington offered battle with his army posted behind Brandywine Creek. While part of his army demonstrated in front of Chadds Ford, Howe took the bulk of his troops on a long march that crossed the Brandywine beyond Washington's right flank. Due to poor scouting, the Americans did not detect Howe's column until it reached a position in rear of their right flank. Belatedly, three divisions were shifted to block the British flanking force near a Quaker meeting house.

After a stiff fight, Howe's wing broke through the newly-formed American right wing which was deployed on several hills. At this point Lieutenant General Wilhelm von Knyphausen attacked Chadds Ford and crumpled the American left wing. As Washington's army streamed away in retreat, he brought up elements of Nathanael Greene's division which held off Howe's column long enough for his army to escape to the northeast. The defeat and subsequent maneuvers left Philadelphia vulnerable. The British captured the city on September 26, beginning an occupation that would last until June 1778.

Character Info-

Robert Adamson of Massachusetts, 27 years old, American
Adam Philips of New Hampshire, 18 years old, Canadian-American
Henri Le Marseille of Rhode Island, 24 years old, French-American
John Harp of Connecticut, 19 years old, American (Irish-English)
Augustus De Keizer of New York, 29 years old, Dutch-American
Arnold Mitt of New Jersey, 34 years old, American (Scottish)
Timothy Johnson of Delaware, 17 years old, American (Somewhat Swedish)
Brandon Harkness of Pennsylvania, 26 years old, American (Irish-English)
James Jackson of Maryland, 31 years old, American (English)
George Garnett of Virginia, 17 years old, American (Irish-Scottish)
Gunther Von Frederickson of N. Carolina, 21 years old, German-American
John Melinda Von Frederickson of S. Carolina, 21 years old, German- American
George Vargas of Georgia, 20 years old, Italian-American

Boniface Kent of Great Britain or England, 24 years old, British

PS:(in squidward's voice) if your wondering what happened to the unconscious British soldier AKA Allen, He got stuck in a tree and died.

Comments

[USSOakland]

The potential in this could get the feature box ! so write wisely also,FIRST

[Flodos]

If i may give some tips:

You write pretty well, but it feels as though you are overprotective of your audience. You don't need to be as obvious or explanatory as you are, let your audience make assumptions and the store will flow much better, i think!

Allso, you repeat names quite a lot. For example, in the last 2 paragraphs you mention Connecticut by name 5 times. Especially with such a distinct name does this grow bothersome fast.

Other than that, this story has some great potential, and i'm looking forward to more!

[batran]

2467254

Well I want this story to be better and successful than my other stories (which were failures because it needs more quality), and plus I reused the names so the Audiences won't mistake the character for someone else,sorry i kinda felt insecure in this story, but good ratings seems to make me more confident in trying to complete it

[Dry Monkey]

Also a first timer myself too. There is one thing bothering me in this fic.

1. The Dialogue. Whenever a new person starts talking, start a new paragraph. It gets confusing when you scrunch up 3 to 4 lines of Dialogue from 2 to 4 different people

Example:

"Would you like a cheeseburger?" Andre asked.

"Why yes, thank you." I replied while taking the delicious cheeseburger into my hands.

Johann had appeared out of nowhere looking very furious. She had come up to our table and slapped the cheeseburger out of my mouth and Andre in the face.

"Seriously?" She yelled at us with fire in her eyes. "You're here?! At the mall?! Eating cheeseburgers?! Without me?!" She stomped on the floor.

"Oh." Andre bluntly said.

"Sorry," I apologized. "We thought you were busy with the club."

End Example.

Yes, a pain in the flanks, but totally worth it if you can read it clearly and without confusion.
-Also, details. Dat shit is some important shnuff.
-Don't forget indenting
-Every new person talking is automatic new paragraph.

Eeeyyup.
Keep up the good work!

[treegrowth]

a world where they are turned into ponies when did that happen?

[Tali_The_Lamia]

Haha so ironic.
13 Patriots from all 13 colonies and one British soldier XD

[StarsWillAidInHerEscape]

This is very interesting! Where did you get the idea?

[Armageden]

Nice I LOVE Historical Fiction.