Shadow Dust and his dragon friend Darklight a light darkness dragon a rare breed and last of her kind now both are moving to ponyville and none know Shadow is a Alicorn and both try find friends and maybe love
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Shadow Dust
Joined 8th Jan, 2013 ·
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Ok, I suppose it's only fair that I tell you straight.
[youtube=fVlSu8DL7Bg]
There are few, and I mean very few authors even among the 'elite' of pony writers who can pull off writing an OC alicorn. None of those would ever use black, though at least you've managed to avoid black and red. Stop this story now before you waste any more of your time, and start out with a story about an already established character, or an earth pony. This is so you can learn about giving your main character flaws and therefore making them an actually interesting character.
First thing, pony creator cover. Not good.
Second thing, alicorn. No good.
Third thing, last of it's kind, and OCxOC.
Last thing, poor grammar from what I can see in the description.
Just some advice:
1. Never use a picture from pony maker as your cover art. Instead, either go without or ask an artist to make something for you
2. Alicorn OCs (especially in black) are highly looked down upon. Don't use them.
Ah yes, tell us about your super OP black alicorn with an epic shadowy name and a dragon thing with a shadowy name who is a goddamn rare breed. Because you know, anything with "dark" or "shadow" is really cool.
Oh yes, another thing,
You start the goddamn story off with that?
Okay, first things first.
This sentence could run a marathon.
Also, capitalization, grammar, and pretty much every detail in the history of ever in this paragraph of a run-on is bad.
Please, oh Celestia please be a trollfic.
-Excerpt from my story; Of Earth, Sea and Sky: The Titans of Weather
Now I realize that I could have thought of a better name for a minor character.
Either way, the story is still horrendous.
No. If you had good grammar I would've been nice, but too bad. That is a VERY Gary-stu OC and somehow has a super rare LAST OF ITS KIND dragon as a pet. And his family had also very dragons to guard their place in a country NO PONY CAN LIVE IN. Plus he's a BLACK MALE ALICORN which is, funny thing, LAST OF ITS KIND! Dude? Nope. This story won't get anywhere, especially since you try to make Spike and whoever love each other, probably adding twilight and alicorn to the mix. THIS WON'T GO ANYWHERE. I'm sorry for bashing but come on. Learn some grammar! please?
You get Psycho's Seal of Astrology. Congrats.
...Really?
You started the story with 'ten years later'?
Remove this bullcrap.
Ten years later...
Ten years later from what? The description? But its a description. It has no part in the story other than describing it.
Sense is not made here.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-PsLJxaV0BIY/UFHT1PRk5yI/AAAAAAAAVqk/81forWQAMGY/s1600/cybermen-tshirt.png
too mary sue