The Shadow Alicorn

by Shadow Dust

Chapter 2: New friends, New advendure and an old enemy

After their talk with Twilight and Spike both Shadow and Dark. Dark ask Shadow something "so are we there yet? because I want to go talk to Spike again" after that statement Dark was staring out to space and love of a boy dragon in her head. *sigh*
"I'll tell you when we're there so don't get your scales in a twist ok" I just smile at her. "fine I'll leave it be for now but uhh is that rainbow blur coming right at you really fast" I look at what Dark was look at and I saw a rainbow coming right at me very fast.
"oh man that hurt" the rainbow pony look down to she was sitting on Shadow's chest "oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to crash in to you by the way I'm Rainbow Dash fastest flier of all Equestria and my dream is to join THE WONDERBLOTS *hehe*"

"its find but who are the wounderblots anyway by the way my name is Shadow Dust and my friend Draklight nice to meet you ms. Dash" Rainbow's eyes widen to my remark "you don't know the wounderblots have you been living under a rock every-pony know the wounderblots and its like you haven't been in Equestria at all" *sigh* "no I'm not from Equestria at all I'm from the Dragon Country and me and Dark are moving to pony-ville to start a new life so other ponies wouldn't be scared of Dark or treat me as a prince all because I'm an Alicorn but I die grues. so ms.Dash why where you go so fast" I looked at Rainbow to see fell asleep "uh oh sorry about that but the reason was because I was doing some stunts for the wounderblots so i can join them someday oh and here let me clean that mud off you"
after Dash's fast cleaning with a rain cloud and her rainbow tornado. she look at me and started to laugh at my puffed up main and tail for I was annoyed at both Dark and Dash's laughing at me *sigh* "ya laugh it up, any way we'll be seeing you Ms.Dash" before Rainbow left she said "stop calling me Ms.Dash it makes me feel old so just call me Dash ok bye"

After awhile both Shadow and Dark walk into the town "hey Shadow look a white unicorn and is that Twilight and that handsome Dragon Spike, lets ask what their talking about" I said "fine if it gets you to stop drooling on my head" I walk up to Twilight and the white unicorn "hey twilight and who's your friend here and what happen to your main and tail"Twilight look at her main and tail
"oh ya a pony named Rainbow Dash did this to me and i can see she got you as well oh before i forget this is Rarity and she want's to fix my main and tail, anyway what are you both doing here"
after Twilight tolled me how a pony name Applejack gave her to much apple dishes to eat "haha that's funny i can't believe you all that food and wait is this place a fashion store uh i got to go bye"
(man i hate fashion stores) after me and Dark left we found the mayor and we ask if there any houses for sale. then she tolled us yes there was one its just two blocks from here so we payed for it and after Pinkie Pie's party where i meet Applejack and Fluttershy also meet up with Rainbow,Rarity,Pinkie Pie, Twilight and Spike then we all made owner way the celebration were Nightmare Moon showed up to tell every-pony that she is going to make a ever lasting night forever and disappear in a blue mist.

Comments

[werewolf435]

Ok, I suppose it's only fair that I tell you straight.

[youtube=fVlSu8DL7Bg]

There are few, and I mean very few authors even among the 'elite' of pony writers who can pull off writing an OC alicorn. None of those would ever use black, though at least you've managed to avoid black and red. Stop this story now before you waste any more of your time, and start out with a story about an already established character, or an earth pony. This is so you can learn about giving your main character flaws and therefore making them an actually interesting character.

[Royal Canterlot]

First thing, pony creator cover. Not good.

Second thing, alicorn. No good.

Third thing, last of it's kind, and OCxOC.

Last thing, poor grammar from what I can see in the description.

[zyr1987]

Just some advice:

1. Never use a picture from pony maker as your cover art. Instead, either go without or ask an artist to make something for you
2. Alicorn OCs (especially in black) are highly looked down upon. Don't use them.

[Thaums]

Shadow Dust and his dragon friend Darklight a light darkness dragon a rare breed and last of her kind now both are moving to ponyville and none know Shadow is a Alicorn and both try find friends and maybe love

Ah yes, tell us about your super OP black alicorn with an epic shadowy name and a dragon thing with a shadowy name who is a goddamn rare breed. Because you know, anything with "dark" or "shadow" is really cool.

[Thaums]

Oh yes, another thing,

:Ten Years Later:

You start the goddamn story off with that?

[Trimontar]

too mary sue