This story is currently undergoing a major revision before I start releasing the sequel!
The words flowed across my tongue and out of my lips smoothly. They felt right, they felt... correct.
I felt the familiar thrum of magic throughout my body, a wondrous feeling, a beautiful feeling. It started as a warmth, then a tingle, then a flood of sensation... different feelings based upon the essences of the magic.
The pulsating purple shimmer surrounded my horn, and began to illuminate the different glyphs and geometric patterns I had painstakingly drawn out for the last few hours.
In my past I endeavored to force my magic, to bend it to my will for my own needs, but now it came effortlessly. Softly, gently, the magic lifted me up from the floor. I had closed my eyes previously in order to lessen the sensory input that could distract me, but now I opened my eyes to watch my ascent.
A faint haze encompassed my vision, but rather than clouding the objects around me everything was sharpened, brightened. I could see the aura of each object glowing faintly, and see the ordinarily imperceptible ley lines that connected everything.
I continued to chant, taking in the aromatic scents of fragrant herbs and incense, feeling the light tickle of the supernatural currents that danced through the air around me, tossing my mane this way and that.
I raised my forelegs forward, leaned my head backwards for the final words of power. I filled my lungs with air to expel that last essential command...
...and something went horribly, terribly wrong.
Nice job mate, really enjoyed that, bloody creepy as well.
I'm glad there's gonna be more chapters. Really excited to see where this is going.
Keep up the good work.
2460293
Thanks so much!
I'm even excited to see where this is going, cause I'm not rightly sure. But I know it's got at least two more chapters, possibly (probably) more.
I felt it was light, comical, yet dark and suspenseful at the same time o.o
Yet critique time must happen.
^ Tense switching here and there o.o
2460365
Oops!
Thanks for pointing that out, tense switching has always been a weakness of mine while writing. I'll try to fix that here in a bit.
Twily would be so disappoint
2460383 heh, im one to trip over grammar too XD especially after paragraphs of monologues, action and speech thrown in one chapter...
This. Story. Is. Perfect. I've been looking for a EvilTwi story for a while now, and I think I found it.
2465606
Haha, Twi isn't evil! Well, at least not yet...
Excellent!
Wow, amazing.
2466396
Thank you!
Does Lyra know that Twilight has a collection of hands she uses to ask questions in class?
2467976
Oops! Lyra would be jealous wouldn't she? Good catch
2467976
Your icon is absolutely derp-ulous, by the way!
2468234
I don't know what you're talking about
Hopefully Celestia has a good reason to act so nonchalant about a entity possessing little Twilight
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Who knows, maybe she's trollestia in this one
I guess you'll just have to wait and see
2511625
When ponies are involved... it's ALWAYS a surprise party!
Oh dear. That significantly raises the likelihood of a [Grimdark] ending.
2515434
I pleade the fifth!
So amazing! But what is Twilight's element, if not magic?
2523186
Friendship, of course :) Friendship is the spark that brings the elements of harmony.
I know that the title says "friendship is magic" and we are supposed to believe it's the same thing, which in a way it is. But why beat around the bush? Twilight must of had a reason for saying magic as opposed to friendship, ya?
Why not because she owes her soul and the soul of any pony she befriends to a powerful demon? haha
2523258
It's currently right around 1,000 words, and will probably be about twice that. Ish.
Buuuuuuut there may or may not be a sequel. It depends on if my headcannon keeps going off like it is.
2523902 Oh my McJee us it all makes sense now *dies to death*
2524193
Oh noes! Dying to death? WE NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE!
2524221 It's okay! Bill Cosby saved me! He used his Jello Pudding to bring me back from the WizzleZop Pow Nomnomnom.
Can I call the demon Tirek? I want to call him Tirek.
2527735
By all means! xD Go right ahead.
I'm fond of calling him Mr. Stinky Pants, myself
2538534
Thanks!
I could have gone the Twilight gets herself saved and expells the demon route, but then where would that leave it? It may as well go back to Twilight in the show, if a little more relieved
This way, I might get to write about what the demons plans are for her
2538668
Indeed, this is what I'm looking forward to. Thing is, I have a lot of different ideas on how to go.
I could continue from the perspective of Twilight, but I think we all already know what's up with her by this point.
Or I could go from the viewpoint of someone who isn't exactly happy with Twilights rule, and therefore not subject to the demon. I have a very special pony in mind should I take this route
But I'm still not sure though. Regardless, I think I'm going to take a break from writing to work on my comic. Plus I still have to decide whether I'm going to continue on with Heart of Chaos. I like where the story is going, but it's hard to write it the way I wrote it. I may put that one on hiatus and rework it a bit
2538758
While I like where it's going, I'm not sure I like where its been. To me the opening feels a bit awkward. Possibly because I'm writing in third person rather than first, and I'm not used to it. Plus, it starts out kind of bright, but slowly gets darker as I move closer and closer to the end. Right around the second (or is it third) it starts to pick up speed, but its still far from where I want it.
As for the comic, I'm doing two, actually. I'm doing an MLP crossover comic. I'm purposefully being a bit vauge about it because if something goes wrong and I decide I don't have the time or whatever people won't get disappointed. I also am a bit nervous that if I say, peeps might be go "Seriously? You're doing THAT?"
I will give this little hint.. Fimfiction exclusive (muahaha) ZOMBIE PONIES!
A second one is my own original dragon comic, yay! Still a long ways off though
But if you're interested, I just started posting concept art on my deviantart. Feel free to check it out: bloodgoldwings.deviantart.com
Huh. Everything was pointing toward a horribly [Grimdark] ending. That was actually quite cheerful. Sure, the Elements are corrupted, but it doesn't seem like the demon gives a horseapple about plunging the world into eternal suffering. I like him. He understands eternal suffering just isn't that appealing anymore.
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Nah, he just wants to beat his younger brother into a bloody pulp. haha xD That's the thing about creatures that live long enough to watch planets be created and destroyed - they eventually get bored with picking on the natural inhabitants and need to find something else to do with their time. Well, at least for a little while...
Can't say I'm a big fan of the ending.
I expected Twilight to either join him or go insane trying to get rid of him, but rest of the mane 6 and Spike joining up was just way too abrupt. Celestia also seemed a bit too nonchalant with was happening to Twilight.
Still enjoyed the story and I do hope we get a sequel.
2563493
Point taken. Celestia I thought of as 'working in the background' but I suppose that didn't really come across as well as it could have. I was hoping it would come out more as time went on, but I guess I didn't succeed. As for the mane six, I wasn't really sure how to do more with them without giving the ending away.
Also, I didn't really have any pre-readers/editors, so you're getting it kinda fresh from my head. I still am very early on in discovering my writing 'voice' so to speak, so perhaps as I improve and figure things out I'll come back to this one and work on it, keeping your comments in mind as I do.
That ending! Was not expecting that!
Excellent work! Enjoyed every chapter.
I`d love to see a sequel, but I would actually prefer to see it from Twilights perspective. Maybe how she becomes more powerful than Celestia and Luna, how she starts to obey the demons commands, how she slowly starts to become more and more evil. I don`t know, that`s up to you.
Whatever you decide, I will most definitely read it.
2598549
Thanks
I'm glad you like it! There will most probably be a sequel. Though I do plan on it being from another pony's perspective, I'll keep that in mind. But maybe I'll do some one shots from Twilight's perspective in between for practice. No promises though 
I've got a couple of ideas in the pipeline, the main problem is finding the time to actually do it, haha.
I like it. It's got Twilight, a deal with something evil, and the threat of stealing the souls of her loved ones. Now I know you can write great fiction, add that to art and editing and you do everything!
Two things I noticed:
change to "enter my room"
change to "as neither magic nor medicine"
Great story. So many unanswered questions. What kind of author could be so cruel?
Oh.
Well, I enjoyed this story thoroughly. Now, I'll wait patiently until you reveal your next amazing talent.
2786361
I'm so glad you liked it
Remember, this little piece of work was inspired by you, so.... 
Sequel should be coming around soon
I don't often read stories like this – not because I don't want to , but because I rarely find any that are any good. Tales of the futile struggle against implacable destiny are just so... tingly. You know? I can't think of any other word for it. I get a tingle when I read a good tragedy. Simple as that.
Now to be honest I've just sneaked a look at the ending before I start and, weird formatting things aside, I'm looking forward to reading it properly. The journey from here to there seems like it'll be highly entertaining.
This is...different. I am not a fan of these stories but it was an interesting read. Approved for Twilight's Library
2801849
I'm glad you like!
It was different from what I usually write, and I enjoyed it a lot. So much so that there will probably be a sequel soon!
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I agree with you, sometimes there isn't enough 'hope' to get a reader through to the end, which I tried to do here. I also tried to leave the potential ending as much of an unknown until the actual end
I hope you do enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Mmmm....now this was a delicious tragedy...
Robo like.
2829402
Yay! Thank you!
You accidentally a word here and "approached".
"led", "lead" is present tense.
Maybe "what had lain" or "what lay".
I feel the "and" is not needed.
Racist much?
So, even translated the words work somehow? How does tha...
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw800_1304180564355.jpg
Interesting first chapter. Didn't find much that, you seem pretty good at self editing.
2856800
Fixed! And YAY!
I was going to get a picture of a pony being very ecstatic saying THANK YOU, but I found this instead and thought you'd like it better:
fc01.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/284/b/3/mini_luna_by_albadune-d5hgv1z.png
This made me laugh so much harder than it should have
Basically, yes. The magic doesn't understand 'language' as a concept - only the meaning behind the words. They could be written upside down and backwards and the magic would still 'get it'.
Oh wait, that's important to the sequelJust ignore thatEeyup!
This was inspired by Kaidan's Puppet story... which has a buttload of earth pony racism in it.
It's probably because I'm super
narcissisticprudent and re-read my stories multiple times before and after releasingThankye!
I think you mean "a".
Wow, either I missed a lot or there were not many errors to catch. But this is very interesting and engaging.
You use this word a lot, I am not sure it means what you think it means.
2857694
I seriously want to hug you right now
Could this possibly need capitalization? It feels like a proper noun, but I am not sure if it is any different than let's say, elements in the Periodic Table of Elements.
I do not think "Jack" needs to be capitalized here since it is one word.
This sentence feels wrong, unless "Element of Friendship" is an actual being.
This part should not be in italics unless there is a different way you are showing dialog.
Semicolon here?
Double I or L here.
Hmmmm, I wonder what it really is. Self-loathing, possession, fate?
But isn't she learning by asking questions?