Life of Pie

by HeartShieldFiM

Chaos

'Discord?' I asked in surprise. Of course it was Discord, since I had no reason to doubt Pinkie's drawing, but I still cried out his name because I was astonished.
The pink pony kept staring at the drawing of the draconequus for a while. She then shook her head - which caused her fluffy mane to dance happily around her ears - and looked up at me.
'He... poofed you away?' I slowly asked.
Pinkie Pie looked at me, confused and sad.
I wish I knew a way to console the pony, a way that didn't need words or songs to cheer her up. So I tapped on the drawing again.

It took a while, but finally I got some useful information out of the pony. Pinkie had approved that Discord was the reason she was here, and I had chalked it down in a notebook which happened to lie around my room.
Yet I still had to discover more of her secrets, rather the answers than secrets actually. Why had Discord done this?
I drew Discord too, this time a little bit bigger and surrounding Pinkie with a yellow beam of magic. Again I drew the question marks around the picture, to show the pony that I asked if this was what happened.
Pinkie Pie grabbed some crayons and drew around my picture. I saw she and Discord were in the Canterlot Palace, they were accompanied by the Mane Six and Princess Luna.
The ponies around Discord and Pinkie looked shocked, surprised, stunned. Especially Applejack, who wore no hat for some reason.
Oh wait, Dash wore it. Why?
Discord looked pretty evil and badass in my drawing, but Pinkie quickly lined through his face and drew another one next to the pic. It was Discord's, but he looked way too cute for him to be true.
'So... it wasn't exactly Discord's fault?' I asked.
Pinkie didn't seem to hear me and continued drawing. It was like she wrote a story with those crayons.
Oh wait, you call that a comic.
She drew Twilight, with a levitating book. Twilight said something, but I couldn't read Pony so I assumed she was telling somepony about a new spell.
I probably was right, because Pinkie then drew Discord, with giant ears.
'Who made his ears so big?' I asked.
Pinkie grinned and drew arrows from the spell pointing in the direction of the draconequus' ears. She tried to tell me that Twilight explained a new spell to Discord, but it took a while for me to find out.
'Oh,' I said, when I had seen the light.
'Oh?' Pinkie replied, and tilted her head.
I scratched my chin and then drew a random pony with a glowing light bulb above their head. The pony smiled, as if he/she got a really great idea.
'Oh,' I repeated, and tapped the drawing.

'Juuuuu...aaaaah?'
The pony looked so funny trying to say my name. I mean, she said it with derp-crossed eyes and her tongue stuck out of her mouth. I think the vocal cords of My Little Ponies simply were different from ours, that's why they can't really speak English.
'Close,' I said. 'Now let's try your own name again.'
I had drawn several ponies and objects on the large roll of paper, and now I was teaching Pinkie Pie how to pronounce the words.
I tapped at a picture of her. 'Pinkie Pie,' I said.
'Winkie..?'
I clapped my hands and grinned. 'Almost!'
'Winkie... Dinkie...'
She looked puzzled and shook her head. 'No... Binkie?'
'Close enough,' I replied. 'You're doing very well!'
I didn't remember learning her the word "no", though. How did she...
As I was about to ask, a loud ring snapped me out of my thoughts.
Pinkie Pie jumped up and growled. Her tail got thick, just as I had seen by my cat. She flattened her ears and grit her teeth.
'Hay, it's okay,' I tried. 'It's only the doorbell. You should stay here, Pinkie Pie. I'll be right back.'
When I walked out the door, the pony tried to follow me.
'You shouldn't come out of my room,' I tried. If someone at the door would see that I was keeping a cotton candy pony as a "pet", what horrible things were gonna happen?
Maybe they'd try to steal my pony. To sell her to the circus or...
The bell rang again.
'Stay,' I said. When she tried to sneak out the door after me, I said, 'No.'
Pinkie's face turned from excited to sad. I kneeled next to her. 'Pinkie, listen. If the people ringing the bell knows I am keeping you here, they could come in and hurt you. They could take you away from me and then you can be sure you'll never see your friends again.'
Pinkie Pie still looked sad. Maybe I could calm her down if I gave her some candy. I mean, she used to work in the Sugarcube Corner after all.
I opened a small drawer in my wardrobe. It was filled with all sorts of candy and chocolate I had collected over the years.
'Look, Pinkie,' I said. 'Jawbreakers!'
The bell rang again. I gave Pinkie access to everything she could need, and... well, when I left the room I was sure I'd find my drawer empty by the time I got back.

'Juul? Are you home?'
I quickly opened the door to find my boyfriend standing on the door mat.
'Uh... hey..?' I said.
He immediately hugged me, crushing my ribs and squishing all the air out of my lungs. 'I thought you'd never open the door!'
When he put me back on the ground, I grinned nervously. 'Heh, I was... busy... y'know how I am..?'
'Always wanna finish your stuff?' Thom tried.
'You know me better than anypo-- anyone!' I said, quasi-enthusiast. I don't know what gave it away, my fake smile, my trembling voice or just my appearance overall. Whatever it was, I was right. Thom knows me better than anypony.
'What's wrong?' he asked.
I could try to shake my head and be like "nothing, why you ask?", but he'd see right through me, no doubt about it.
I pulled him inside the hallway and closed the door with a bang. 'Can I trust you?' I whispered.
Thom - clearly insulted that I doubt his trust - rolls his eyes. 'Julie. Stop acting so stupid. You know that you can trust me and that one time I said I--'
I covered his mouth with my hand. 'Ssssh, I thought you promised me to never mention that again.'
'Fmm, whph ph bfff bwl?'
The big deal? Oh well, there we go.
'Follow me to my bedroom,' I mumbled.
I saw Thom smile a dirty smile, so I said, 'Be careful. Don't make any sudden moves or sounds, or you might scare--'
'...you found another stray cat?' my boyfriend said, slightly annoyed.
I couldn't answer to that question. Of course, it was true, every cat that walked by the house was immediately adopted by me. Same for birds, by the way. My mother wasn't really happy with my love for all the living creatures that appeared in my sight - except for most humans - but she kind of gave up on lecturing me. Yeah, I do know the dangers of unknown diseases that may be growing underneath those pidgeon wings, I know stray cats can have cat H.I.V. and of course I am aware of the fact that the most cats with no owner are straight up plotholes.
Despite this knowledge, I simply can not give up my addiction to loving poor and lonely animals. And Thom is scared of them.

'If this is another scary giant bird or a wild dog, I'll never look at you again,' my boyfriend said.
I laughed, despite I knew I had a problem called Pinkie Pie.
'Not funny!' Thom squeezed my hand.
I slooooowly pushed against my door. 'Hello, Pinkie?' I whispered. 'Are you still here?'
I heard something move in my bed. My cat's head popped over the side, followed by Pinkie's.
'Hey guys!' I said.
Pinkie smiled and whinnied.
'Holy [APPLES!],' Thom blurted out. 'What the living [APPLES!] is this...'
'This,' I began. 'This is Pinkie Pie. World's happiest, shiniest, pinkiest---'
Thom interrupted me. 'I know who Pinkie is,' he said. 'She's my favourite pony, like, ever, but... what...'
'...is she doing in the house of your girlfriend?'
Thom nodded in silence.
'Come down, Pinkie,' I said. She didn't understand my words, of course, but when I pointed at the floor she climbed down.
I hadn't seen her climb in or out my bed yet, and I can tell you I was stunned. It was like her legs simply morphed to reach the steps and just... changed back as they touched the ground. To me, it looked a lot like an octopus.
'You saw that too?' Thom said.
I could only nod in silence and Pinkie looked at me with a puzzled look on her face.
'It's okay,' I managed to say. 'It's... well, in my world, we're not really used to magical morphing. Also, I would like you to meet Thom.'
My boyfriend sat down on his knees to meet the eyes of the pony. 'Hey there,' he said. 'How did you end up here?'
Pinkie frowned, and then looked at me. 'Hm?' she asked.
'She doesn't understand human speech, as far as I discovered,' I explained. 'I communicate with her by drawing with crayons on old paper-hanging.'
'I see,' Thom replied. 'Who drew all this? Pinkie with her mouth or so?'
He let out a brief laugh.
'Eh, no,' I muttered. 'That was me... Pinkie drew this quasirealistic Discord here.'
Well, great. I always knew I was bad at drawing, I mean, I drew the cover art for this story myself, but now I hear from my very own boyfriend that a pretty pink pony with nothing but a mouth to hold these crayons, was actually better than me.
Fan-bucking-tastic.

It didn't take long for me to explain my mean boyfriend what has happened.
I mean, I didn't know anything about Pinkie's appearance here so I was done in like five minutes.
Thom's brain was still buffering by the time Pinkie sighed and laid her head down on my lap. I slowly stroked her sproingy mane and smiled. She was so terribly mind-boggingly cute, I didn't understand why Thom wasn't squeaking and grinning like an idiot.
'Why did she draw Discord?' said Thom, breaking the silence.
Pinkie's ears moved at the sound of Discord's name.
I said, 'She told me... no, she drew Discord poofing her to this place.'
'So it's his... fault?' my boyfriend replied.
I had no idea. Both Thom and I adored the draconequus, in the show and the fanart, and I thimk we both couldn't believe Discord would do such a thing. I mean, he sort of was a plothole in the show, but mostly misunderstood. What fun is there in a world without chaos?
'Do you think he did this on purpose?' Thom continued when he saw I was lost in thought.
I shook my head. 'Why would he?' I said. 'I mean, I heard spoilers... about Season Three. Fluttershy and Discord will become friends and hugs and love and pony cuddles, and maybe this isn't even true but I can't believe he is that bad.'
'What you just said there... simply doesn't make any sense,' my boyfriend said.
I tilted my head. 'But Thom, what fun is there in making sense?'

Author's Note:

Thom once told me something that made me question Celestia's truth and ideals. He said, "A world in harmony is not a place without chaos. It's a place where chaos and order complement each other."
Think about this for a while.

For the record, Thom is real.
It's just not his real name.

Comments

[Rainbow dash the cat]

Good story

[Danieldoesnotsing]

I like where this going.

[HeartShieldFiM]

2513907 Aw thank you!

[HeartShieldFiM]

2514210 Thank you so much! :3

[Danieldoesnotsing]

I will like and fav it to the MAX!

[HeartShieldFiM]

2518802 omc thank you
You made Pinkie so happy