• Member Since 7th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 1st, 2016

gordobraveheart


brony, rapper thats it

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Many of you have witness the fall of King Sombra, how he was easily defeated by a baby dragon and was destroyed in front of thousands of crystal ponies. No one really knows if he survived, even if his horn able to dissemble and regenerate his entire body. What matters now, is that he is gone, and will never return.

Or, so we think.

Welcome, in this story, we will take a look at a certain pink pony, one who seems to smile at everything there is about the world, and can laugh in the face of danger, warming all of our hearts and filling us with happiness. For her, she seems like she has no worries in the world, and is an all around happy pony.

We will dig deeper into how she thinks, how she acts, what makes her tick, and most of all...

Her fear.

And who knows, maybe there will be more...

(one-shot, will continue if requested, a more darker look into how The King has these strong abilities that he can obviously be able to manipulate, fool, and strike fear into a ponies mind. Might deal with some psychological references. Enjoy.)

(Story inspired by this image: Click for insporational picture!)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Like how you used FDR's famous quote

Neither like nor dislike.

Spoilers:

It was fairly engaging to watch Pinkie Pie get turned on by her friends, but you were encumbered by horrible mechanics. Tense issues, sentences obviously missing words, shameless repetition.

Also, your author's not at the end sort of kill any suspension of disbelief. While it's completely obvious how she's being influenced, some people might not have figured it out.

Either you're repeating yourself, or your outright explaining plot points in a way far removed from narration.

-Twixie

2471143Ah, neutrality at its finest.

Thanks for criticism Twixie, I need it if I wanna step up my game:twilightsmile:

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

I want to see more! I want to see more!

I reeeally liked the concept of this story, but unfortunately I can only stomach so many grammar errors......
They were far too numerous and glaring to simply be ignored, it really killed any sort of emotion this story could give me.

The story itself was fine, but the grammar.....it was kind of painful to read through.

Rainbow Dash: "What just happened?" Applejack: "Yeah, we all say 'Howdy', to Pinkie, an' she runs off sobbin'!" Twilight: "I haven't seen her that upset since she thought we weren't her friends anymore..."

i want more i want to see him win for good

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