• Published 19th Apr 2013
  • 3,537 Views, 17 Comments

Chicken - Lyreaxiose



Scootaloo becomes lost in the Everfree Forest after a fight with Rainbow Dash

  • ...
7
 17
 3,537

Chicken

"Scootaloo! Wait!" Rainbow Dash didn't mean it! Come back!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle cry out.

But, she doesn't stop. She doesn't slow down. She doesn't even look back. Scootaloo runs deep into the forest until her small heart feels as if it's about to burst in her chest. There's a slight metallic taste in the back of her mouth. She is in a small patch of the Everfree Forest where the trees do not grow. Still, the canopy above blocks out the light of day, and the thick trees and air block out the noises of her loved ones.

Scootaloo collapses in the center of this clearing. Her chest pumps chaotically as sobs force her to seize up at intervals. The run had managed to drive away her thoughts, but only for a moment. Now, on her knees, she relives them again. She sees Rainbow Dash glaring down at her. She hears those awful words. She feels her heart sink.

"I'm not broken," she assures herself, "they're just lying." She prunes her delicate wings. The sight of them causes her eyes to burn further. "I guess they always were."

She gets up. Tells herself she needs to focus. Scootaloo scans around in every direction. None give any indication of a way to go. As she tries to orientate herself, Scootaloo realizes how eery the silence was and how deep the shadows appeared. It strikes her how odd such desolation was, even in the Everfree. The seed of panic breaks the surface of her consciousness.

"Hello, is anyone there?" Scootaloo calls into the shadows around her. "Hello!"

"What's the matter, kid?" From behind her calls a familiar voice.

"Rainbow!" She turns to find the form of Rainbow Dash disappear into the forest.

"Rainbow, help! I'm lost! Please, I'm scared!"

"Lost?" Rainbow snorts a laugh, "How can you be lost if you can fly? Just go above the forest. It's not hard to find Ponyville, kid." Again, the voice calls out from behind her. She turns just in time to see Rainbow Dash slink out of sight.

"I-I-I don't know how! No one taught me how to fly, Rainbow Dash. This isn't funny!"

"Taught you? How to fly?" Rainbow Dash calls out with a mocking laugh, "No one needs to teach you how to fly. Just flap your wings and fly away. Come on, what's really the matter, Scoots? Wait a minute, you're not a chicken, are you? Oh my Gosh, you are, aren't you? Little chicken can't fly?" Another laugh lashes into Scootaloo.

"No! No! I can fly! See, watch me!" Scootaloo kicks off the ground, furiously beating her wings. "See, I'm flying!" Her wings fail her and she crashes to the ground.

Another mocking burst of laughter. "What good's a pegasus who can't fly? No wonder you're a blank flank, kid." More ponies start to laugh.

"Sorry Scootaloo, but you really can't be a part of the Cutie Mark Crusaders if you can't get your Cutie Mark."

"Yeah, I mean, look at us." Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom appear from the forest. "You left, and we suddenly find our talents. See?" They flash cutie marks. "You really were holding us back. Rarity says I shouldn't as-so-ci-ate with you on account of how you would just drag me down socially."

"Yeah," Apple Bloom cuts in, "and Applejack says I'm not allowed to hang around blank flanks like yourself. She says they're all lazy cause they ain't got no talent."

They both just giggle and leap back into the shadows

"Guys, no, wait for me!"

But, they're gone. She can hear them disappear into the forest. Slowly, the forest returns it's heavy cloak of silence. Scootaloo sits numb in the center of the clearing. She wants to cry for situation, but the tears refuse to fall. Anything, she thinks, would be better than this emptiness.

Once again, in her solitude she realizes how unwanted she is. Scootaloo, the chicken, with only her broken wings for company, curls up into a little ball trying to forget her thoughts.

While she has no way to judge the passage of time, she soon begins to feel a deep weariness. Scootaloo's head begins to nod. With each dip, she was a little slower to catching herself. Before finally embracing sleep, a figure steps out of the forest. Tall, willowy, and covered in what appeared to be shining black armor, it stops before the small pegasus. It lowers its head and begins to warmly nuzzle and comfort her.

"You are no chicken to me, little filly. I see the potential in you that they, in their blindness, do not. I can show you a life where you never have to fear their cruelty again. When you wake, follow the lights that I've placed for you. Have faith in me, and I can take the pain away."

Scootaloo, groggy and half-asleep attempts feebly to ascertain this figure's identity, "Who are yo-?" But, she sleeps.

She wakes. The figure is gone. Was she real? Scootaloo wonders.

A light glows in the distance. It's cool green glow stands out in the darkness. Scootaloo hesitates, but, realizing there was no other indication of where to go, follows the light. The light goes out as she approaches. Another takes its place in the distance. Scootaloo grunts and chases after the light. Again, it extinguishes itself while another lights itself further on. Scootaloo begins to catch on, and pursues the wisps deeper into the forest.

Soon, a low hum comes imperceptibly into range. Paying it no mind, Scootaloo rushes onward. Finally, she is led to a dark hole in the ground. The hum is now a cacophony in the forest. Inside the tunnel, a final light begins to burn. It is a cold, green eye, staring into her soul from the abyss. Scootaloo feels a sense of dread. There was still time to turn around, she told herself. Go back to Ponyville. Maybe they'll find some use for her after all. No, be realistic, she thinks. Scootaloo descends into the Earth.

Deep in the tunnels, with only the light of the wisp, Scootaloo runs. Finally, the cramp passage opens into a grand chamber. Drooping from the walls and the ceiling are pods filled with more of that green light. The figure steps into the light.

"Welcome, Scootaloo. Welcome to your new family." Chrysalis says to her

Scootaloo glares at her while slowly inching backwards toward the tunnels.

"It's you."

"Yes. 'Tis I, Queen Chrysalis."

Scootaloo is near the tunnel entrance. Freedom is just a sprint away.

"I've got nothing to say to you. I'm going back to Ponyville."

"Of course, little one. I have no intention of keeping you here against your will."

Scootaloo turns

"Good."

"But, before you go, hear me out. What I told you earlier was true. There's a way to make everything better. You'll be able to fly."

Scootaloo stops and turns toward Chrysalis. The Queen approaches with a warm smile. There's a sincerity in her eyes. At least, it appears so to Scootaloo.

"Besides, what life do you have to return to? I'm serious, what? I've been alive for a long time, and I've seen many things, Scootaloo. Trust me, the life of a broken pegasus is no life at all. You'll always be just a burden to them. Even to the ones who say they love you. In the darkest corners of their heart, they'll think that about you. None of them would want you. Is that what you want? A lie?"

She motions to an open pod, "Let me give you a new chance at life. Let me give you a new lot in life instead of the cruel hand fate has played you. Take control of your destiny."

Scootaloo begins to intensely stare at the cocoon. "But, my friends-"

"Your friends are only with you because you all seek your cutie marks. What happens when they find theirs? How long will that friendship last? Here, you'll never be alone. Come along, Scootaloo, my Dear, it's made specially for you."

Scootaloo takes her final steps forward



It's midnight. Rainbow Dash is asleep in her bed in the clouds. She is awakened by a weight on her chest.

"Who's there? Wait, Scootaloo? How did you get in here? You can fly?"

Scootaloo smiles. Rainbow Dash feels a chill. Slowly, the form of Scootaloo begins to melt away. Underneath is revealed a twisted horn, a chitinous body, and a pair of elegant wings. In spite of her twisted, grotesque appearance, Rainbow Dash still recognizes this changeling as Scootaloo.

"Tell me, Rainbow Dash, do you like my wings? They're so beautiful. They were made for me." Her voice is an odd chorus of various voices and tones. It's the voice of Scootaloo, and the voice of a thousand more changelings together.
Scootaloo's flesh melts again before her eyes. Her wings grow feathers. Her mane changes into rainbow pattern. Soft, blue fur sprouts from where her carapace once was. Finally, her eyes turn into a deep purple. Rainbow Dash stares up at a reflection of herself.

Then, pinching Rainbow's wings under her hooves, she leans in close and whispers in Rainbow's ear:

"Who's the chicken now?"

Comments ( 16 )

I am in awe. You have achieved in so little words what I could not. I see potential in this, maybe you could continue it. I would be interested in seeing where this goes.
Keep on writing. :pinkiehappy:

Dun dun dunnnn

This can't stay a one-shot, seriously. I have to know what exactly happened to Scootaloo and where she's going to steer her life. I want to know more about her mind; why did she choose this? Would she do this normally or is the hive-mind controlling her?

When I really like a short story, I generally want more of it. There's actually very few that leave me completely satisfied at the end, but that doesn't imply that they're of a lesser quality. Some ideas just demand expansion. Diary of an Evil Pony is perfect as a one-shot because the main character's dilemma is both presented and solved by the end. A sequel would not have felt appropriate unless it just took the same characters and started a whole new story.

Whatever direction you decide to take, I will still be satisfied. Great work! :moustache:

I would like to see where this goes.

This story has been reviewed by The Equestrian Critics Society

Story Title: Chicken

Author: Lyreaxiose

Reviewed by: Blankscape

Simply put, Lyreaxiose tries to write a story that is deep and riveting, but his eager and straight-forward execution and the lone focus on the perspective of its main character abates the impact of it to something with less than half the intended depth and comes off as slightly confusing. While it no doubt has its good points in painting the circumstance of Scootaloo in a dreary hue closer to reality, it still doesn’t manage to break through its flat dimensionality. It’s a serious story whose flaws prevent it from being taken as such, yet a tense read for the unprepared.

Full Review

Score: 5.5/10

Comment posted by Blankscape deleted Jul 3rd, 2013

Sorry about that, I accidentally posted it twice.

2816800
Thank you for taking the time to review me story. I've read through your review and will take note of its criticisms the next time I write something. I'm really appreciative of it! This was one of my first stories, written on the spur of the moment, but I really enjoyed it. My intention with the details and actions of the ponies towards Scootaloo was supposed to suggest that they weren't the actual ponies, but changelings. I guess I haven't gotten so far as to be good at inferring things well. I'll have to work on that.

Thank you again. The feedback will definitely help me in the future.

2850468

My intention with the details and actions of the ponies towards Scootaloo was supposed to suggest that they weren't the actual ponies, but changelings. I guess I haven't gotten so far as to be good at inferring things well. I'll have to work on that.

Well, the story certainly makes more sense with that little detail, and this really wasn't hinted well enough, now that I've read it again. Glad to see you took note of your mistake :moustache:

Oooo... Twisted.... And intersting....

This story needs something...... I know a sequel

You made a mistake, Rainbow's eyes are red, not purple.

4543180
Actually, they're Cerise, which isn't even close to red.

I am not disappoint!!!!!!:pinkiehappy: This was a great story!!!! :yay:

CHRYSALIS!!
Love her

This story was very well written, particularly the characters of Scootaloo and Chrysalis. Just two questions, though. What did Rainbow Dash say to Scootaloo to get her in such a vulnerable state of mind? Second, is there ever going to be a sequel to this story? The place you left it suggests the answer is yes.
The part of the story where Scootaloo goes into the cocoon voluntarily showed me why this species could learn a thing or two about assimilation techniques from Chrysalis (namely, manipulate the feelings of the organism that you are trying to assimilate until they willingly let it happen)

Login or register to comment