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The Shadow Behind Her Eyes

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Comments ( 48 )

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Nyan_Cat

Nyan_Cat #1 · Apr 22nd, 2013 · · ·

Hm, interesting concept. While some of this IS from Cupcakes (which you have stated), it still is pretty intriguing. You do have good grammar, and from what I saw, no spelling errors. It's a somewhat new take on Rainbow Dash-terror fanfics, which is almost always a good thing. I've only got one (very) small complaint, which is when Twilight says:

"You know what, Rainbow?" Twilight asked. "Torture isn't really my thing. I'll end it now."

And proceeds to somewhat randomly stab at Rainbow. Being test subject and all, I would assume that Twilight would take a little bit more caution about this. But, however, it is your story, and she did actually stab at her neck after that, which made it a little bit more believable.

So, overall, nine and three fourths out of ten. Very good story.

Slate the Pegasus

Slate the Pegasus #2 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

I love it a lot

nodamnbrakes #3 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

rockettoinsanity.doc

dajackel

dajackel #4 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

AND SO THE INSANITY BEGINS

Drifting Heart #5 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

Buddy i have word for you with the cupcakes reference...thank luna it was a joke with Dash fainting after eating it. oh and the Twi thing well i got nothing. i like the idea of Dash having nightmares about Twilight killing her instead of being pinkie since that was done many times. so interesting story i cant wait to see more. Well who says we cant torture our favorite characters. so how do you feel about AJ and pinkie they are my favorites.

SolidFire #6 · Apr 23rd, 2013 · · ·

I don't yet know why but....I really want to read more of this. Keep up the great writing!

spider8itch #7 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2469720 So we meet again, Dajackel. *Raises tranquilizer gun and aims*

Comment posted by dajackel deleted Apr 24th, 2013

dajackel

dajackel #9 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474121
you...you CAN NOT HOLD ME BACK! I AM ALL THAT IS PONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*BAILS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER*
YOU CANNOT CATCH ME!!!

spider8itch #10 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474149 APPLEJACK! GET THE ROPES! SEBASTIAN GET HIM!!! I MUST CATCH THE DAJACKEL!!!!!!!!!!

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSX7_CvK1l6xnNX124TSRW_oZEdn1nagiz5YEE7eOuPRWeUM7qJPQ

dajackel

dajackel #11 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474174
YOUR PETTY "APPLEJACK" CAN NOT HOLD BACK THE IMMEASURABLE FORCE THAT IS DAJACKEL! HOWEVER, THIS SEBASTIAN SOUNDS LIKE WORTH PREY!

spider8itch #12 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474193 encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRHGurQ5MOAteFci3nIh4mTpMtRlAIf9Tic0L7q0bPkMkVyRXr7

dajackel

dajackel #13 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474209
THOU ARE NOT FURIOUS? DOESN'T THOU HAVE AN IMPLACCAABLE GRUDGE AGAINST THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TR-I MEAN DAJACKEL

spider8itch #14 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474217 Of course not. Not until I have your soul to devour.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTvHCjhdc4L4lcnky5nP9MnGhUquinZoRSVNb273RlKNACqN7umwg

dajackel

dajackel #15 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474226
THIS IS DAJACKEL'S SOUL. THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT(NOT REALLY), BUT THIS ONE IS MINE! THOU SHALL NOT CONSUME THE SOUL OF VILLIANOUS CHAOS!

spider8itch #16 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQUU-R9Vxy9JwVljWfTzxaLGyPeCwKPNo2q8FTfpXgJuhoFpqQ-5Q

Wut.

dajackel

dajackel #17 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474249
CEASE YOUR PETTY "WUTTING" AND TREMBLE IN THE PRESENCE OF DAJACKEL!

spider8itch #18 · Apr 24th, 2013 · · ·

2474293 I'm just going to enjoy the fact that your legs are going to be ripped off.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRMV78cOC4ADXF6OrLkdSkIGB4C2v6Ko4ERsH-C8FB-oQf7djAX

dajackel

dajackel #19 · Apr 25th, 2013 · · ·

2474473
BREAKING MY LEGS IS AS FUTILE AS TRYING TO BREAK CONCRETE WITH ONES FOREHEAD

dajackel

dajackel #20 · Apr 27th, 2013 · · ·

2484764
Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! Or I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!

Unused

Unused #21 · May 11th, 2013 · · ·

arent alicorns like immortal?i thought they cant fly....

Mudraynebow #22 · May 11th, 2013 · · ·

2559391
Alicorns can never die of old age because they don't age... But they can still be killed by other things.

Dawn Flower #23 · May 21st, 2013 · · ·

I haven't read Cupcakes yet. How is it compared to this?

AdamHawke #24 · May 31st, 2013 · · ·

in cupcakes Pinkie drugs Rainbow by giving her a cupcake that knocks her out. similar to what happened here. except here it was something else that made Rainbow pass out. also in the first dream the dialogue is somewhat similar to cupcakes. that's the only similarities I noticed, but I might've missed something.

Rainboomer97 #25 · Jul 10th, 2013 · · ·

Tell how this is twidash I read it an was like OMG WHAT DID I JUST READ

exitdoesnotexist

exitdoesnotexist #26 · Aug 23rd, 2013 · · ·

2488365 Everywhere dajackel goes, Cielia and Sebastian follow him and start the mother of all Comment battles. And dajackel comments on quite a few gorefics.

jtc09999

jtc09999 #27 · Sep 13th, 2013 · · ·

I enjoy reading your stories before i got to bed

Mudraynebow #28 · Sep 18th, 2013 · · ·

3196811
Must be real easy to fall asleep after reading them

iloveportalz0r #29 · Jan 23rd, 2015 · · ·

wut

cobystones234 #30 · May 7th, 2015 · · ·

wtf

Mudraynebow #31 · May 7th, 2015 · · ·

5950128
Yep... That happened

cobystones234 #32 · May 7th, 2015 · · ·

5952126 why must you do that to me I thought this story would have a happy ending. this is a bunch of bull shit.

Mudraynebow #33 · May 7th, 2015 · · ·

5952144
This story has been marked "Dark" and "Tradgedy", and you thought it would have a happy ending?

cobystones234 #34 · May 8th, 2015 · · ·

5952231 hey almost all stories I read have a happy ending. This is just one of those rare ones that has a bad ending. also I go and look for an alternating ending so then it will end happy.

Mudraynebow #35 · May 8th, 2015 · · ·

5953013
If you want, I can add an alternate ending. I wasn't planning to, but it can be done.

Comment posted by cobystones234 deleted May 14th, 2015

Comment posted by Mudraynebow deleted May 14th, 2015

cobystones234 #38 · May 8th, 2015 · · ·

5953408 I think people would like if the story had a happy ending. like I said I found around two alternating endings to rocket to insanity. one before she kills every one and one where everyone is brought back to life by doctor hooves.

cobystones234 #39 · May 8th, 2015 · · ·

5953408 also I don't think people like having twilight die.

Mudraynebow #40 · May 8th, 2015 · 1 · ·

5953422
Like I said, I can make an alternate ending and post it if you wish

cobystones234 #41 · May 8th, 2015 · · ·

5953434 I would like that very much thank you

Dreamclaw #42 · Jul 25th, 2015 · · ·

5953434
Yeah, I think it would work better like that. I am no stranger to gore fics but this one just feels too forced.

Like really, Twi had to try and KILL Rainbow instead of stunning her? Or using a sleep spell? Or old trusty telekinesis?
And then she had to completely forget about the knife and go right next to her instead of removing it with telekinesis first? And that is after conveniently taking her all the way to a secure private location where she can be killed? That's just rushed as hell.

Also, RD broke in 2 nights after learning who assaulted her and didn't even think to ask AJ for help with a clearly superior opponent... Or asking anyone for that matter. And then she broke again...

Mudraynebow #43 · Jul 26th, 2015 · · ·

6242383
I'm aware of the flaws. This was my very first story, so it's definitely far from the best.

Daring Cammie Do

Daring Cammie Do #44 · Oct 27th, 2015 · · ·

Near the opening which led out of her bedroom, Rainbow's pet turtle, Tank, slept peacefully on.

Tortoise

"I know! You really made me lose my head, Twilight!" Rainbow said, and began laughing like it was the funniest joke ever.

This made this story worth reading! Overall, the story was bad, but this one line made it worth it!

Mudraynebow #45 · Nov 4th, 2015 · · ·

6574132
It was my very first story, of course it wuz bad

superfun

superfun #46 · Apr 11th, 2017 · 1 · ·

If that Author's Note wasn't there, I would have said that this felt like a rip-off of Rocket to Insanity.
But because it's there, I know it's just a huge coincidence.

Either way, this was actually a pretty good read.
Good enough for me to fave.

Doctor NOOOOOOOO

Doctor NOOOOOOOO #47 · January 4th · · ·

"Hello, Rainbow Dash," alicorn Twilight Sparkle said. Rainbow Dash's eyes fluttered open. She was lying on a wooden table in a dark room that looked like a dungeon. "Ah, you're awake!" Twilight said. "Good. Now we can begin." "Wha- huh?" Rainbow said in confusion, still half asleep. "Twi? Is that you?" "Yep," Twilight said. "And now we can begin." Rainbow's eyes suddenly popped open wide. As her eyes adjusted to the gloom, she saw Twilight standing in front of the table she was lying on. "But- begin what? I don't understand." "You will soon, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said. Her horn began to glow, and suddenly, a scalpel rose from a nearby table on the side of the dungeon and floated to Twilight who snatched it out of the air with a content smile. Rainbow Dash's eyes widened in horror. "Twilight, what are you doing? Stop!" Then, Rainbow realized something and she began to laugh. "Oh! I get it, this is all just a joke. Good one, Twi. I didn't know you were much for playing pranks, but this is definitely one of the best ones I've ever seen." Twilight shook her head sadly. "I don't think you understand, Rainbow," she said in a voice that was almost sorry. "But this is no prank." Rainbow's eyes widened in terror as Twilight began to lower the scalpel. "That's it! I'm outa here!" She tried to flap her spread-out wings but she couldn't and realized for the first time that they were clamped down to the table. There was also metal chains that held her legs apart to the table and more holding down her front legs. "Twilight, I'm sorry!" Rainbow screamed, beginning to lose it. "I don't know what I did to you but whatever it was, I'm sorry! Just please let me go! Was I not respecting you enough as a princess? What did I do? Please just let me go, I won't tell anypony about this, I swear!" Twilight laughed. "Oh, Rainbow, you didn't do anything wrong." "Then why are you doing this?!" Rainbow asked, struggling against the chains. "Well, you see, Rainbow, there's this new potion I'm working on. It requires body parts from a Pegasus pony, and what pegasus would be better than the fastest flyer in Equestria?" "Fine," Rainbow Dash said, closing her eyes. Then, in a hopeless voice, she said, "At least make it quick." "I'm afraid I can't do that," Twilight said sadly. "You see, as I am a scientist, or 'egghead', as you always put it, you'll know that I love to learn new things. So while I'm at it, I'm going to also test how different varieties of torture affect the pony body." Rainbow's eyes snapped open and she began to struggle, desperately trying to free herself. "Twilight, STOP! Please! This isn't funny!" She said, tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes. "I'm sorry, Rainbow," Twilight repeated. She lowered the scalpel and began a cut above Rainbow's Cutie Mark on her right side. "This is a little trick I got, Rainbow." Rainbow Dash tried to comprehend what she had just heard from Twilight but instead began to scream in pain as the scalpel blade pierced her flesh. "Aaaahh!" Rainbow screamed. "Aaaaaaa! Aaaa-"

You might say that's OOC but dreams can be fucking weird so I accept it. Also I didn't like how rainbow dash screamed in lowercase

Doctor NOOOOOOOO

Doctor NOOOOOOOO #48 · January 4th · · ·

That same morning, Applejack was talking to her friend, Princess Twilight Sparkle, in front of Sugarcube Corner. She was talking about Rainbow Dash. "-an I'm telling ya, Twilight, that girl didn't look right. Ah swear ah saw something like a- a shadow behind those eyes, like somethin' scared her bad." "Hmmm," Twilight said thoughtfully. "That doesn't sound like Rainbow at all. Usually she's so proud, and not scared of anything." "Ah know what it sounds like," Applejack said, "But there's something not right with that pony. "Ah thought maybe ya could talk to her, maybe find out what's goin' on." "I could do that," Twilight said. "Oh, look, here she comes now!" Sure enough, several seconds after Twilight spoke, Rainbow Dash landed in front of Sugarcube Corner where Twilight and Applejack were talking. She was sweating and shaking, and there was a slightly crazy smile on her face. "Heeey, guys!" Rainbow said. "Rainbow?" Twilight asked with concern, "are you all right? You look terrible!" "I know! You really made me lose my head, Twilight!" Rainbow said, and began laughing like it was the funniest joke ever. Applejack frowned. "Uh... Ah don't get it." "I'm really alive!" Rainbow said. "And I intend to stay alive!" Rainbow Dash looked around at everything and for a moment, her expression softened into her normal one. "This day is AWESOME!" Twilight looked at Applejack. "Stay here. Wait for me. I'm going to go talk to Rainbow about this at my place. I'll be back in a half hour or less." Then, she spoke to Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow Dash! Let's go to my place for a few minutes. I need to talk to you." "Sure you do, Twilight!" Rainbow said, and began laughing again. "I'm coming!"

I don't think going insane is that easy...you can't just dream about dying and immediately go insane you have to do alot to make yourself go insane

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