Fluttershy's Nightmare

One-Shots18,892 stories ·2,368 members

Note: I wrote this and my other first two stories back in 2013 and I don't think they're good but I've kept them available to read if you like.
Fluttershy has a terrible dream.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Metool Bard

Metool Bard #1 · Apr 18th, 2013 · · ·

Hmm.

This was alright, I suppose. It started off as a predictable but unique way of showing Fluttershy's fears and anxieties, but the parts with Rainbow Dash tormenting her were a bit, well, odd. I don't know, I just can't picture Fluttershy perceiving Rainbow Dash as a cruel mistress that she has to kowtow to. If anything, Angel should be in that role.

The part where Fluttershy was completely isolated due to her shyness was by far the best. This is a concept that I feel is worth exploring (and that I have explored myself, albeit briefly). However, the ending was a quite abrupt. Fluttershy just gets out of bed and flies out the window? That's it? No self-reflection, no lessons learned, nothing?

In the end, this was an alright story, but there could've been a lot more to it.

DrEggnog

DrEggnog #2 · Apr 18th, 2013 · · ·

2445497
Originally, the part with Lucy was supposed to be Angel, but since Fluttershy was a high schooler in this, and Angel is very young when Fluttershy's an adult in the show, I thought that he might not've been born yet. As for the abrupt ending, a lesson was learned, but I purposely didn't drag it on. I was worried that even having the part where she wakes up and heads out the window would be too much. Also, I don't think Rainbow Dash was really being as mean as she seemed like she was most of the time. Thanks for the thorough comment.

i_am_the_jam