Bonus Chapter
CoAuthor's Note: Hi, TheWaffler here. For any car nuts reading this let's pretend that the Delorean isn't a heavy brick that has a top speed of 85 mph and a mesley 130 horse power. This chapter isn't soarin' and Twilight, nor is it Applejack and Spike. This is a side story involving Pinkie Pie and Ximinez. We thought it was a good idea. Enjoy.
Las Pegas: gem of the desert, city of Discord, oasis, gambler's paradise, whatever you wanna call it; this is where our tale begins. It was--"Psst…hey, Mr. Narrator." Pinkie I'm kinda busy. "Oh...I just wanted to let you know that um...that you're fired, the story doesn't really need a narrator." Fine here's the story, thus making this intro almost entirely pointless.
BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
Pinkie was holding a pair of binoculars, sitting in the passenger seat of the Delorean in her Spanish Inquisition robes, peering out of the cracked window. Just outside of the car were passing pedestrians, who were wondering why a mare was using a pair of binoculars to see a building only 30 feet from herself in the dark.
Ximinez was in the driver’s seat, glaring at the building while sitting back in his seat, one hoof on the steering wheel. He spoke, "If only your dragon friend would have come, we could really use his strength for this."
Pinkie lowered her binoculars, also glaring at the building they were parked directly in front of, "Why not Applejack? She’s pretty tough!" She asked, now dropping her glare to face Ximinez.
"My agents tell me she is committing heresy against the princess, I will not use her." He replied, now sitting up to speak to her.
"Applejack? No way Jose! She's the element of honesty, she would never do that!" She implored to her boyfriend.
"Hmm..." He pondered for a moment. Truth be told Applejack was kinda of a stick in the mud and Pinkie was a lot more fun. "We should get started before our target leaves." He fixed his hat and prepared to exit the car.
The two exited the car, their robes very out of place in the streets of Las Pegasus.
Every building shining brightly with signs filled with plasma and LED’s, the streets packed with drunks, street entertainers, or tourist bustling about in the brightest city in Equestria.
Pinkie and Ximinez made their way to the casino they parked in front of, not bothering to give the valet the keys. This would be short; at least they hoped it would be.
A young greasy maned stallion what Ximinez assumed was a valet uniform only it was stained and wrinkled stopped him. "Hey dude, you need me to park your car for you?"
Ximinez didn't say anything instead he executed a swift sleeper hold and knocked the stallion out. "Ximmy, you didn't have to do that." Pinkie said with a confused expression on her face.
"Um...he was committing heresy against the princess, that and I've seen that one movie with the colt who skips school for the day. I know what valets do to cars." They continued along their way.
The two robed ponies stopped in front of the doorway, where a guard was standing by, making sure nothing bad happened on his watch.
Ximinez whispered to his girlfriend, "Follow my lead..." And put his stomach to the ground and began crawling commando style towards the door with Pinkie right behind him, "Stealth is the only way we can sneak up on this stallion..."
The guard saw the two strange ponies crawling on the ground, clad out in bright red robes, "Uhh... Do you two need help?"
"Ximmy! He saw us..!" She half-whispered ahead of herself.
"That's alright darling, as long as our target doesn't see us, everything will be fine, but I see your point we need better disguises." He replied as he handed Pinkie a cardboard box marked oranges and now the both of them wearing boxes made their way through the door ignoring the guard who was scratching his head.
The two crawled into the casino and the volume level skyrocketed with complaining and laughter from ponies enjoying the casino's games.
Ximinez and Pinkie crawled clad in their cardboard apparel across the main floor, getting several strange looks from the players.
They stopped thinking their cover had been blown as the lights of the stage burst into a kaleidoscope of color and sounds as they a heard the announcer over the loud speaker.
"NOW CLAP YOUR HOOVES, CLAWS, TENTICLES OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE FOR THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE!!!!!!!"
The two relieved that that no one had found them out, but the show was just way too entertaining to pass up. What Pinkie failed to notice during her distracted viewing of the show on stage was a waiter placing a stack of dishes on her box as he most assuredly thought she was a table. The show ended and Pinkie and Ximinez remembered that they had a job to do, but had become distracted by the performance and pretty lights. They made their departure and unbeknownst to Pinkie there was still a tray of dishes on her box.
Once the pink mare began to move the tray of dishes and half eaten meals came crashing down and a poor griffon tourist was caught in the avalanche of dishware and grime and as he tries to avoid the mess old lady luck dealt him a bad claw because just as he was escaped the falling plates and garbage a passing show mare was in his path and he ended up accidentally grabbing her flanks.
SLAP
"HOW DEAR YOU!!" She reared back and bucked him through a plate glass window and into the streets where he was hit by a gay party bus.
They made it out of the room, now finding themselves at a stairway, and standing up to dust their robes off.
"Do you think we made it inside without anypony seeing us?" Pinkie asked, now walking up the stairs with Ximinez beside her.
"Of course! My stealth methods have been praised in the Inquisition. Now we just have to get to our target on the second floor..." He said, taking a quick glance behind them to make sure they weren't followed.
"Who's our target Ximmy? I'm still a junior in the Inquisition and they never told me." She asked, very curious to who they were after this time.
They stopped in the doorway that lead into the very less populated second floor, which was filled with poker, dice, and blackjack tables. They called this floor, the high roller’s room, the room where their target was.
"Rolls Royce, he’s a stallion my agents believe to be funding an organization that's only goal is commit heresy against the princess. We need to use all three elements of the Inquisition to catch this stallion, he's very clever."
"Got it. Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and wonderful red robes." She repeated from her training.
Ximinez and Pinkie began crawling again throughout the upper level of the casino. He was heading for a certain table, where only two stallions were seated, the dealer and an anxious player.
All of the players were too busy focusing on their cards to notice the two ponies crawling across the ground.
They reached the table and stood up, taking their interrogation formation of surrounding the stallion. Each of them sat on the sides of the stallion and Ximinez spoke up.
"Rolls Royce?" He said quickly and clearly.
"Yeah?! What do you want; I'm busy gettin' a fortune here!" He quickly snapped back.
Ximinez stood up and put a hoof on his shoulder, "You're under arrest for heresy against the princess!"
Rolls Royce froze and slowly turned his head to see the stallion in bright red robes beside him, "The Spanish Inquisition!" He panicked and rolled back out of his seat, and rolled to his feet and galloped off, interrupting poker games in his escape.
"After him!" Ximinez yelled, now chasing after the stallion with Pinkie.
Rolls Royce was running straight for the covered balcony, he thought there was a way out, but before he could get out Pinkie and Ximinez were blocking the door.
"It's over, turn yourself in now!" Pinkie commanded as she stomped her foot down.
The stallion quaked in fear at the two robed ponies, and he quickly searched around for an escape. He suddenly grabs an old mare near the roulette table.
"You'll never take me alive." He slowly backs away with his hostage still firmly in his forelegs.
"Back in my day, hostage takers were gentlecolts, young'uns today..." she shakes her head disapprovingly while continuing to mock his criminal skills.
Annoyed and desperate he glanced behind him, past the glass window was the streets of Las Pegasus. He wasn't ready to go to jail.
Rolls Royce threw the old lady at his pursuers and flung himself out of the window through the glass and fell down the 15 foot drop.
Pinkie and Ximinez galloped to the shattered window to see if he was alright, and they saw the stallion limping towards his Bentley Continental GT.
Pinkie turned to run towards the stairs, "We can't let him get away!" She almost ran off before a hoof stopped her.
"No, that will take too long, I'm heading down, I'll catch you Pinkie." He said sternly, before preparing to jump down.
She tried to protest, but he was already climbing out the window, scaling down from the building.
For the last five feet he jumped down and landed, standing on his hind legs with his hooves in the air, signaling her to jump.
She took a deep breath and jumped off, straight for him.
He caught her in his hooves, and circled around to rid the mare of the momentum of falling. He stopped; his hat covered his eyes with a large grin on his muzzle as he looked down at Pinkie.
She felt her heart soar at that quick moment of being caught in such a fashion as she looked up at Ximinez, her face turning almost as red as their robes.
Ximinez's head looked up quickly, seeing Rolls Royce get into his car, he was getting away.
Ximinez's head looked up quickly, seeing Rolls Royce get into his car, he was getting away. Rolls Royce's Bentley was an impressive feat of engineering and its driver was equally impressive but there was one thing Rolls didn't have and that was the four rules that make up the Spanish Inquisition.
He carefully let down Pinkie and they both galloped to the Delorean and they jumped in.
The car roared to life and began speeding after Rolls Royce.
Ximinez gripped the steering wheel tightly, putting his hoof to the floor on the pedal, "I won't let him get away!"
Both cars weaved into the traffic of Las Pegasus, passing limousines and other party cars.
Suddenly the Delorean's engine started to stall and sputter. Ximinez looked at the fuel gage. "EMPTY?! How can it be empty there was a full tank, when we left it out front...with the keys still in it. The valet has committed heresy."
"Ximmy he's gettin’ away."
"Fear, not my dear, the Spanish Inquisition are resourceful. Remember our rules. Fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency and wonderful red robes. I say we execute surprise and divide and conquer." Ximinez ran down the street to find a mode of transport catch up to Rolls Royce.
Pinkie now had to find a way to capture Rolls and prove herself worthy of her wonderful red robes. She became her quest to find the perfect vehicle.
Meanwhile Rolls Royce had a substantial lead on them until...
"What do mean, there's been an accident involving a griffon and a bus full of colt-cuddlers?!" Rolls Royce questioned the police officer stopping traffic.
"Aye, laddy, strangest thin' I'd seen all day. I'm sorry, but you'll be waitin' till, we can get the mess cleaned up, meanwhile let meh tell you about my life in the old country. I was born in Cloplin in..."
Rolls Royce started beating his head against the steering wheel and the officer started telling his life story. 'I don't know what's worse that I essentially drove around in a giant circle or that I'm stuck here till this accident get's cleaned up.'
Pinkie was looking for a mode of transport something that scream Inquisition. Her hopes were answered when she saw what was parked in the lot of the Marecito Casino and it was glorious. Pinkie's eyes were wide and in awe at the sight of the four by four jacked way into the air and its polished rims and KC fog lights. Pinkie got inside and hotwired the monster truck making it roar to life, but first she scribbled out a note to let the owner know that their vehicle had been borrowed by the Spanish Inquisition. ''Ximmy will be so proud of me; this truck thingy is fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency." Pinkie said to herself and as she made her way out of the parking lot she noticed in the passenger's seat was a box of... "Lemons with grenade pins on the them?" she just shrugged as she race to find Rolls Royce.
As the truck zoomed out into the streets of Las Pegasus, a weird ape like creature was being kicked out of the casino. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I'M CAVE JOHNSON AS YOU'LL RUE THE DAY THIS PLACED CROSSED ME...wait where's my truck?!!" He said shaking his fist.
Finally Rolls Royce was free of the traffic jam and the cop that wouldn't shut up. His victory was short lived as he could see the tell tale red robes of his arch enemy the Inquisition. He was able to speed off, leaving pursuer in the dust as apparently Ximinez was not having any luck with cars this night. Of course, it didn't help that he had chosen a Chevette as his backup car.
His foe was taking off, but lucky for his a taxi was coming his way; Ximinez jumped in and yelled at the driver. "By order of the princess follow that car and make the siren noise!!!"
"Um...sir this is a rickshaw and --" The red robed stallion cut him off.
"Here, this should be sufficient payment." He threw a bunch of bits into the driver's saddle bags. The rickshaw sped off after Rolls. "dammit, make the siren noise!!!"
The drive did as he was told and made the police siren noise as he raced after Rolls and was actually catching up the car for some reason.
"In the name of the princess pull over!" Shouted Ximinez, as they were racing done the strip, Rolls saw an opportunity to free himself of this bothersome pest. He rammed a passing fruit cart into the path of the rickshaw driver causing them to spin out and crash. All hope seemed lose, when they driver and Ximinez heard screams, wood splintering, ground quaking and the distinct sound of a 540 big block barreling towards them.
Pinkie was trying to catch up to Rolls Royce and saw the aftermath of what happen to her "Ximmy" as she called him. Pinkie was driving on the side walk, uprooting trees and sending pedestrians running into traffic. "Oki...doki...loki..." She sneered as her hair went flat. She saw that Ximinez was okay and quickly picked them up, with the former rickshaw driver sandwiched between them. "Ooh, I'm so happy you're okay Ximmy, but who's this guy?"
"Actually my dear, this is rather embarrassing. I don't know." The two of them looked at the rickshaw driver in between them.
"I'm --" Ximinez cut him off.
"It's best if we don't grow attached to this young colt, you never know what may happen in the field."
"Young colt?! I'm forty-seven years old! I want money to replace my rickshaw."
Ximinez got up in his face, which was rather easy since all three of them were smashed into the cab of the truck like sardines. "Now, listen here whoever you are, I give you the honor of helping the Inquisition and you demand profit your good deeds, you should be ashamed of yourself."
The stallion was about to object when Pinkie saw Rolls Royce make a left turn effectively widening his lead my several car lengths. 'We'll never catch him unless...fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency...hmmm' Pinkie mused. "I gotta an idea, hold on to something." She said with a smirk on her face.
"Um, Pinkie dear, what are you doing?" Ximinez said with general fear in his voice, which is something that rarely happens.
"Y-yeah, what t-that dude said." Their temporary tag along said as he grabbed hold of the dashboard.
Suddenly Pinkie violently jerked the wheel to the left and was on the sidewalk once more as screaming citizens jumped out of the way in sheer terror. The truck smashed a fountain causing its winged figure to land on the hood as Pinkie continued her path of total destruction of crushing planters, benches and lamp posts and street signs. "I think I now a short cut." She rammed the glass door of the mall and in her high hopes that her stunt would be justified. (cue the music)
"This mall has a lot of stores." Their guest relied awestruck at the destruction and carnage they had caused to the strip and the mall it was like a videogame and this crazy pink mare had all the cheat codes.
Pinkie was crushing ponyquins, those tacky displays they had in the center of every mall. "I think I can get out this way." they drove right through Sprinter's Gifts and out the other wall. The truck was covered in beer bongs, marital aids, glow in the dark body paint and novelty lights shaped like pot leaves.
"Ooh, lookie I see him." Sure enough the Bentley was no more than five feet away from them.
Rolls Royce looked at the image in his side mirror and couldn't believe his eyes and he was thinking about the truck and what it was covered in, but rather its occupants. "How in the holy hells did they catch up to me?"
"We almost got him my dear."
"Ximmy under your seat there's a box that might be able to help us."
Ximinez did as Pinkie asked and was shocked by the contents of the cardboard container. "Lemon grenades?!" After the insanity of tonight Ximinez was done questioning how and why, he figured he could use the citrus explosive devices to bring Roll's to a stop.
He rolled down the window and started chucking them at Roll's car.
BOOOOM
The back of the Bentley was a sparking mess. Rolls Royce still was unwilling to give up. They had tossed another grenade and this one caused the car to launch end over end through a 3D movie theater. Patrons were leaving the cinema raving on about their wonderful and realistic experience.
The three of them got of the truck and went into the theater. Rolls Royce was hanging upside down suspended by his seatbelt. Ximinez almost looked at the stallion with pity in his eyes. "Ready to turn yourself in?"
Rolls Royce only nodded his head as he was pull out of the flaming wreckage that was once his car. The former rickshaw driver bent down and stole Roll's wallet. The couple just looked at him.
"What? I gotta get a new rickshaw somehow, since you aren't gonna buy me one." The stallion left mumbling under his breath as he trotted away.
Pinkie came to put the stallion in handcuffs, but she didn't think they were completely necessary, he seemed pretty bent up.
Minutes later more of the Spanish Inquisition showed up to take Rolls Royce in for questioning.
Pinkie hugged Ximinez, knocking his hat off, "We did it!"
He chuckled and hugged her back tightly, "Yes, we did."
"That was so exciting, there was a search, and then there was a car chase! Oh, Ximmy and when you caught me…" She kissed him directly on his lips, "…It was so incredible!"
"It was quite a night, I've never been to Las Pegasus before, and it’s a pretty town." He admired, but then brought his attention back to Pinkie.
Pinkie hugged him again enthusiastically, "Let’s get married!"
"Wh-what?" He was too surprised, "Now?"
"Yes now! We're in Las Pegasus!" She exclaimed with excitement, taking a few steps back and rising her hooves in the air.
He grew a wide grin and pointed a hoof westward, "Onward, my dear!"
The two ran off to find the nearest chapel, where they were quickly wed by an Elvis Preslhay impersonator who happened to be a clergy.
"Okay, by the power of rock and roll and the city of Las Pegasus, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."
Ximinez leaned down to kiss Pinkie, but she grew impatient and grabbed him and planted a firm kiss on her new husband leaving the stallion breathless. One once they were done the clergy handed them their complimentary gifts.
"Here is 200 bits worth of casino chips, a voucher for a two night stay at the hotel. Good luck you two, now Elvis is leaving the building."
Pinkie and Ximinez left the chapel, she was wearing a wedding veil, and he had a bowtie on. They made a beeline for the Delorean where Ximinez was at the wheel, smirking.
"Where should we take our honey moon dear?" He asked happily in a state of uncontrollable bliss.
"How about...the Triassic period?" She replied happily at her husband.
"Onward!" He said, but then he turned to Pinkie, "Until the end of time..." He smirked.
Pinkie moved over in her seat so they would be sitting right next to each other while he was punching in the time and coordinates.
Pinkie nuzzled him while he put his hoof down on the pedal the Delorean sped off into the past.
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I put up a blog post the other day asking if people wanted a Pinkie and Ximenez chapter
The only people that replied said 'Yes'
This has little to do with Blue, but it does hold slight significance,
Please do not leave hatemail, You had a voice in this
Enjoy!
Cute. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png
Not much else to say.
The funny thing is
Ximenez and Pinkie were the last couple to get together, but their the first to get married
Oh god the chaos! it. is. BACK baby!
684314
You're one of my favorites
684386
awww thank you
it is an honor to be one of your favorites.
I love you for posting this adventure of Pinkie and Ximmy,
That rickshaw guy is freaking hilarious great job on this chapter
.
684598
I'm happy you enjoyed it. Winter gave me full creative license to do whatever the fuck I want with that chapter, but sadly I had to cut out a scene where Pinkie jumps on stage during Trixie's magic show and starts belting out her renditions of Tenacious D songs effectively becoming Inglorious P and it ended with Trixie get pissed and the crowd enjoying Pinkie's insanity over Trixie's magic. I cut the scene because I couldn't figure out a way to put it into the story.
684598>>684857
Thewaffler wrote most of this, hes hilarious
Also, your avatar kinda creeps me out, idk why
684857
Let me guess the song you were going to use... Master exploder?
684877
And yeah my avatar kinda creeps me out too, I don't know either, but the flash animation I got it from is called Leo and Satan, watch it on newgrounds it's funny in a creepy way
684982
Master Exploder would have been the easy choice, but my favorite is Kickapoo(it has a verse by fucking Dio) even though there is no way you'd be able to get Pinkie to sing that song in any type of context.
1. This chapter has swag
2. I can imagine Ximenez to have a French accent ironically
So yes, these three books r awesome
686232
Books?
My stories have never been called books before lol
685922
Fuck yeah Dio
Lol. I'm new to FIMFiction and new as a Brony so i guess I'm a bit of a noob
YES! That Portal 2 reference! Oh it's so amazing!
This chapter is so horribly random it's hilarious! (So, it's good, not bad, don't worry!)
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732813 sorry are Sweetie Belle
1082592
Howdy
1120336
Nobody wants that do we?
Is this ever going to be updated
1260151
Eventually yeah,
Hard to be enthusiastic when the pony valve is on minimum, not even sure how many people actually LIKE this story and not just read it to read it.
1260151
Also, the next chapter is actually quite a bit done for awhile now, I just have to put the final piece in.
There's just too many variables for me to be happy about this,
Like 1, do people mind whats going on now?
Or 2, they don't care because it's just one of the thousands of stories on here
3, they don't care because they just read whatever they see
But if you read my blogpost I would get back to writing Blue once I finish my commission, someone paid me $10 to write them an intro to their story- but now that that's finished I'm going back to Blue, expect a new chapter sometime this weekend.
1326802
Pinkie and Ximenez have shown their presence and I asked the readers if they wanted a little funny chapter with the two.
They said yes- so it happened.
1327425
Just explaining why it's there.
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Where are they?
I had that music on from cue music untill,
1327001 YES! They were the first to get married, but if they are in the future does that mean they were the last to get married?
I am confused, but this bonus chapter was less confusing than the one that was one big reference.
dtlux1
YEAH FERRIS BUELLER REFERENCE!