Princess Cadence, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash can't remember what happens minutes after teleporting to an unknown location. Their memories are a blur and have difficulty evaluating the situation. They soon encounter something that turns their perception of the world upside down and soon discover they are no longer in Equestria. Their past unfolds and memories resurface, bringing the truth to light one step at a time.
This endeavor put some strain of the lives of three particular humans with problems of their own. They encounter a life changing series of events which transpire into new discoveries and friendships.
Chapters (21)
2452283 Why?
Good thing this isn't Twilicorn. They'd have taken a dip a lot sooner, too soon to reach land.
Carry on, good sir. This tale of survival and effort has impressed me so far.
I thought Twilight was an Alicorn now...
I will continue to read though.
2452314 I havnt seen you for a looong time!
To answer your question, can't decide if want
2455057 Ah.
Keep this up. I wanna know when they meet humans!
Interested to see where this is going.
A little slow, but you can't rush the exploration of an "empty" island with three injured ponies without missing out on all the important details. I approve of this.
I really like how this story is going. However, I did see a rather large number of grammar and tense errors, not to mention missing letters or whole words between sentences. I would suggest you get yourself a proofreader.
Keep it up.
2472114 I notice errors every time I go back and read what I wrote and I am never satisfied to the latest version. I don't have an editor nor proofreader and it would be great if I did, but I don't know anyone IRL or online who could serve as an editor (like my best friend for my last story, but is too busy now) and don't know where to look (excluding Groups).
If anyone who reads this story wants to edit coming chapters, you're welcome to reply to this comment. I just wanna make sure that the story makes sense without grammar and spelling getting in the way. Thanks.
2483592 I can actually help with that. You see, I am also working on a story and will eventually post it here and a very nice person passed me a few links to some groups that may help you a lot.
This one.
This one too.
And this one also.
I want
'NOM NOM NOM
2452687 Not many people like to acknowledge that, including me. She was too much of a marysue to begin with imo.
2523896 Twilight is NOT a Marrysue, aperiantly everyone hit their heads and forgot about the whole Smarty Pants incident... and all the other times she completely goes insane.
I see pony blood's gonna start flowing if Dash keeps up the act. Stanley and Lucas are a little too on edge for her to continue being the hotheaded bitch you're writing her off as and remain without a new hole in her skin.
Well I guess it's best to get Rainbow Dash's bitchfit out of the way early.
2554570 "hot headed bitch you're writing her off to be"?
RainbowDash is a hot headed bitch.
2556477
You will find that her mindset and attitude will not stay the same towards the human characters as it progresses.
The Mysterious Mare Do Well episode comes to mind.
Sometimes we forget her loyalty for her friends, so she is just being protective of Twilight.
LOL!!
Hmm.... Curious. Normally I do not like to see symmetry in-between a stories characters unless taken to an extreme but this one seems ok for now. When I say symmetry I mean Rainbow and that jerk are acting so negative to the situation. There is also the fact that both Kate and Cadence are both out for the count for now.
2621339
You may have the next chapter already figured out.
I warn anyone whose doesn't like symmetry. Don't take it too seriously.
Nothing like some good old "see it to believe it"
and of course trying to survive in unfavorable conditions, that's a plus too. Too many stories make it easy for the ponies: humans are understanding, humans aren't afraid, humans are kind and considerate to them, humans welcome them, etc.
Adding some pony vs. man and pony vs. environment makes a good story.
It's magic, Lucas. You ain't gotta explain shit.
You know, I was disgruntled with Dash before, but now the line's dangerously close to being crossed.
Someone NEEDS to give the bitch a reality check. Lucas and Stanley could easily leave them and Cadence outside in the bad weather to die from hypothermia, even with the reasonable excuse of having too much in their hands with Kate unconscious to babysit ponies during the night, and yet they took them in, including ms. Crash. Real nice way of thanking them, even if she doesn't trust them.
I'll be a happy brony if that is thrown in her face.
Seriously I really want you to make RD get strangled or something. I will be a wery happy reader if you make Rainbowdash gets beat up by one of them or gets kicked out of the house that would be funny.
I mean really if I were there Rainbow dash, Twilight, and Cadence would already be dying of hypothermia. Mainly because I would not tollerate that shit and throw them out as harshley as possible (and to whatever animal protecterate fag that gets ass hurt at this comment, I would totally do it and not even have second thoughts, so there).
But yea have RD get punched in the face or something I would lOVE to see that.
2686470
2687024
2687423
Seems like everyone wants the same thing.
Don't worry, this only the beginning. It's far from over.
2690642 As long as you stop writing the story in a way that she gets away with the shit she's giving Lucas and Stanley, fine. It's getting annoying.
2691447
I agree as well. What I mean is you won't have wait too long for things to get resolved. The story itself is far from over.
2694167 Well, ain't that a lovely thing to hear?
Ooh ooh! What if the thing that messed up Twilight was wireless networks! Like thing for televisions, phones, and the internet?
Is this story going to get updated? Or is it dead. Because if so I am ready to purge a few stories from my fav list and I want to know which ones to get rid of.
2720500
It's not dead, I just takes a while to write with all the stuff going on in life.
Funny you ask because I'm about the upload a new chapter right now.
I'm trying my best to complete each chapter and edit it within a week (or week and a half) of the previous update. I know, I hate to keep you all waiting.
....wow....this story is AWESOME!!!
A nice, tasteful chew out plus a freaky friday flip?
This is a good day
HOWEVER! There is this missing word here:
"please don't put in Rarity's hooves"
Put who or what?
Major plot twist! Dun Duun Duuuuun!
2722228
Fixed. I was herself she was referring to.
Me. Perhaps I should have, maybe I need to pay more attention.
Interesting story so far, and this latest twist has me eagerly looking forward to more. I didn't find it until last night, even though I loved one of your other stories. Whoops.
However, I wanted to mention some stuff from the last couple of chapters that has been driving me crazy:
Haha, what? No Lucas, that's pseudoscience with no reliable evidence that it exists. There is as much basis for saying that telekinesis is "scientifically possible, theoretically" as there is for saying the same about magic. Actually, bad example since they have just seen evidence of magic. Okay, so in the context of this story it has even LESS scientific evidence than magic does.
In the words of Morbo: "EVOLUTION DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
What? No. What? That's absurd. Again I turn to Morbo: "MENTAL CAPACITY (and brains in general) DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT!"
...What? Twilight, what the hell are you talking about? How has he demonstrated any knowledge of psychology? He's talked about pseudoscience physics and possibly biology, but that isn't the same as psychology...
And from the chapter before that:
Atheism is just the lack of belief in gods, one can be an atheist and still believe in the supernatural. I think a more appropriate designation would be skeptic or materialist.
Yes, of course there is. It is just that in this case the scientific explanation is magic.
Basically, Lucas and Stanley are not ideal first-contact representatives for humanity... Though admittedly they could be much worse. At least they haven't murdered Twilight with a shovel and dumped her into the ocean...
End of rant.
2727254
I hope you didn't break anybody's nose for being driven crazy.
I guess it's fair to say that I know little about physical, physiological, psychological, and biological science. It's tricky to distinguish them from each other sometimes.
I'm glad you pointed some those out because I wasn't so sure about them myself. Although, try to keep in mind that, even though I am trying to keep consistency (even though I fail at it in places to some degree, i.e. my insufficient knowledge of the New Zealand landscape), it is still fiction and the version of reality in which this story takes place is separate from our own (regardless of time period). A lot of things are just minor plot points (that may of may not make sense) that aren't too important or significant to anything larger and are for narrative purposes only. It's a slice of life story for a reason, going minute by minute in the life of these characters (while also adding some small ideas of the human condition). This story is nothing special. Just trying something new.
Do you want me to change it? Maybe I should do more research first.
Atheism is more than just not believing in gods. Sure, atheists (or pretty much anyone) are allowed to believe in the supernatural phenomena. All atheists are skeptics, but not all skeptics are atheists. It's more of a general statement of doubt.
Yes, they are horrible people who know nothing about anything. Just like me.
Who is to say that something like that won't happen?
I hope I cleared some stuff up. If not, feel free to point out the many flaws that I know still exist and will exist as the story progresses.
2737310
Looking back on my post, I was significantly harsher than I had intended to be. I confess that I was having a particular bad day when I wrote that. Of course, while that might explain my actions it does not excuse them, and so I would like to apologize for my previous comment.
I still think that a number of the issues and concerns I brought up are valid, but as you noted they are relatively unimportant for the overall plot and such for the story as a whole. I would like to thank you for taking my concerns seriously in spite of the way I voiced them, and hopefully something I said will be of use to you as the author.
2742843
No hard feelings taken. I need some criticism every once in a while. Every bit helps. I try to write something worth reading and tell a story about ponies and humans.
Pretty sure the bolded word isn't supposed to be there.
On the topic of the chapter itself: Dammit Cadence, learn to think before you speak.
Fun fact: the hoof is nothing but the nail of the middle finger. Therefore, Cadence would have felt the fingers as grown from her fetlock (which contains all the bones analogous to those of our wrists and hands) rather than her hoof.
Just a heads up for an oversight you might feel like correcting.
2781789 After proofreading it three times, I can't believe I missed that.
2781893 I knew that.
2782951 Of course. And you just so happened to leave it there to see if somebrony would notice, eh?
I'm on to your game, lad
And just when I think things couldn't get any more serious...
Hmmm.... I should really stop using that so many 'hmms' and trailing dots... Nice going so far. I hope that this is the beginning of a beautiful magical revolution! Or not... Dang it... I really need to figure out how to stop doing that...
Heh... 'primitive', that's cute.
Ah Rainbow Dash, she should have known better than to attack something unprovoked. If she attacked I'd beat the innocence/assholely superiority complex right out of her, with her own wings.