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Picking Sides in a Pig's Eye

Applebloom stood there for several minutes staring in disbelief. She was now all by herself, in the middle of the Everfree forest. She’d been inside before, but never farther than her friend Zecora’s house, and always on the designated path. Now the small hut the old zebra lived in, or any kind of path seemed terribly far away.

Then an idea occurred to her.

“I’ll just follow the tracks!” she said aloud. “They’ve got to lead out of here at some point.”

So, feeling very proud of herself, she situated her hooves right down the middle of the metal railings, and started walking.

Sadly, things are rarely ever this simple.

After walking for what seemed like an hour, Applebloom’s hooves were aching fiercely, but still she soldiered on continuing forwards to what she was sure would be a break in the forest.

Until she came upon a green saddlebag.

“Huh?...” she looked at it closely, there was an apple on the side, along with the letters ‘AB’. It was hers. She’d dropped it when the train dumped her out.

She was going in circles.

The mare side of her brain railed against this. How was that possible? The tracks had come from ponyville, they couldn’t go in a circle or she would have ended up back there, or at least run into the train again. That was logic.

The mare side of her brain continued to say that it must have been some kind of mistake, perhaps her bag had gotten caught on the side of the train and dragged along to this point before it had fallen off. This was by all rights a sound theory. The filly side jumped up and down and waved it’s forehooves telling her that something was amiss. She waved it away and nodded, that must be it. It had gotten caught on the train.

“It’s about time you got back,” said a voice.

Applebloom’s head whipped around to find a small pig with a missing ear sitting a few feet away. It crinkled its snout at her.

She looked around a bit more.

“Yeah, it was me. It’s about time you got back sweetheart.”

Applebloom’s mind registered two things. The mare side registered that a pig was talking to her, while the filly side very much wanted to buck it for calling her ‘Sweetheart’.

The filly side won out.

“Sweetheart?” Applebloom advanced on the small thing. “Who are you calling sweetheart?”

“That’d be you.” The pig crinkled its nose again. “Sweetheart. It took you long enough.” Its voice sounded a bit like somepony had put Big Macintosh inside of a helium balloon.

Applebloom glared down at the pig. “If you don’t want to find yourself bucked halfway across the forest I’d loose the nickname.”

It squeled a bit. “Fine ‘AB’. No need to be so violent.”

“AB?”

“That’s what it says on your back ain’t it?”

“That’s Applebloom,” she said. As her anger drained, the mare side of her brain took over. “How are you talking anyway? And what do you mean ‘It’s about time you got back?”

The pig raised a stubby cloven hoof. “One, I could ask you the same question. Just ‘cause we’re quiet doesn’t mean we pigs can’t talk. Two, the track goes in a circle, if you keep that up you’ll just go around till you drop.”

The filly side of Applebloom’s brain gave a little halfhearted cheer for being correct, and briefly noted it was lucky the pig only had two things to list. Its hoof only had two points.

“Well,” said Applebloom in a huff. “How do you suggest I get out of here? And where is ‘here’ anyway?”

“Here?” repeated the pig. “One,” it held up its hoof again. “This is Somewhere. Two, you’d have to ask the Unsure.”

Applebloom opened her mouth to ask another question, but the pig headed her off.

“Let me guess, more questions? Let me save you some breath sweethea-”

At Applebloom’s glare the word died in his throat.

“I mean...AB.” He held up his hoof a third time. “One, Somewhere is everywhere, everywhere is Somewhere, Somewhere ain’t Nowhere. Two the Unsure knows everything. It’ll know how to get you out of here.”

Applebloom considered this. The filly side of her brain accepted it readily, it was just like the fairy stories she’d read as a foal, but the mare side of her brain balked. None of this made sense, she should just keep following the tracks.

Once again the filly side won out.

“Fine, I don’t rightly understand all this, but if this ‘Unsure’ knows how to get me out of here, I sure as heck mean to ask him about it.”

“It,” the pig corrected.

“It?”

The pig nodded. “It ain’t sure if it’s a boy or a girl, so it’s an ‘it’ til further notice.”

“Fine,” said Applebloom. “Whatever ‘it’ is. I’ve got a couple of word for it.” she looked down at the small pink pig. “Take me.”

The pig made a snorting sound, which may have been a laugh. “And why would I do that sweethea-....I mean AB?”

Applebloom floundered for a moment. “Uh...”

Exactly. “I gave you the info, that’s my good deed for the day. You’re on your own.” The Pig turned to leave.

“Wait!” Applebloom held out a hoof. “I don’t know which way to go!”

The pig squealed irritably. “Not my problem. Good luck AB.”

Applebloom’s mind raced, the last thing she needed to do was get lost in the forest again. The filly side of her brain told her to chase the pig down and make it tell her, but the mare side of her brain politely suggested she try something else.

Applebloom decided to listen to what the mare side had to say.

It suggested that she give the pig something in return for helping her. ‘You get more pigs with slop than with vinegar’ it supplied.

This made sense to Applebloom, she decided to listen to the mare side.

It gloated over its win while the filly side sulked in the corner.

Applebloom yelled one more time. “Hey pig! What if I had something to trade?”

The pig stopped, cocking his good ear in her direction. “I’m listening.”

She reached into her saddlebag, pulling out the sandwich, setting it on the ground. “How’s this?”

The pig eyed the sandwich warily. “This ain’t no trick?”

Applebloom shook her head. “I swear on the Apple Family it ain’t. And you can take that to the bank.”

The pig eyed her for a moment. The dived into the sandwich like a ravenous lion.

It was gone in a matter of seconds, the pig smacked happily, rolling back and forth on the breadcrumbs that had fallen during the massacre.

“Alright, AB, you got yourself a deal.”

Applebloom smiled. “Great! There’s some apple slices in it for you at the end as well.”

“There’s more!?” asked the Pig, sounding, for the first time since Applebloom had met him, happy or for that matter anything that wasn’t surly.

“Yep.” She nodded. “Now,have you got a name?”

“Sty,” the pig said simply. “The name’s Sty.” he turned and walked towards the forest. “Now, we’d best get a move on.”

Applebloom followed close behind. “Agreed.”

Sty was faster than he looked, she had to keep up a trot in order not to loose him. “Good,” he said. “Because if you’re here when the sun goes down, you might not be gettin’ out. This is a dangerous place. Keep your wits about you...”

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