CHAPTER THIRTY NINE- Blessings Counted
CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
BLESSINGS COUNTED
Feeling numb and drained, I lingered as the briefing broke up. Caper led the exodus, Jerry close behind, bound for Engineering. Bors and Sekkack went out together, bound for the Sciences Department to impart what they’d heard and to start the wheels turning there. I knew Melody wouldn’t waste any time getting started on the sensor modifications. Evee and Star were hot on their heels, the Helmspony giving me a sympathetic look as she filed out. As she left, Merry crossed the room to where I sat. She insinuated herself between Doctor Willowbark and me with a muted “S’cuse me, Mate!”
Willowbark looked up, distracted, and moved a couple of seats down but made no other move to leave the room. He watched Xantippe gather up the cups quietly as Merry hunkered down next to me.
“’Ere now!” She began in, what for her, passes for a quiet voice. “Oy just wanted to say ‘ow sorry Oy am fer what ‘appened to ya… an’ fer little Tilly. Bad ‘nuf ta lose a roight bonzer young buck like ol’ Stimbolt, but the rest’s a croyin’ shame!” She rubbed the end of her nose to covertly cover a sniffle before continuing with a growl. “Weren’t any need fer it ‘cept fer sheer bloody-moindedness! Well, if there’s any justice in the bloody Galaxy, you Boffin toypes’ll figger out some way to serve the bloody bugger out roight an’ proper. When ya do, just lemme push the button, eh? For Tilly an’ Stimbolt an’ poor ol’ Dazzle? Don’t seem loikly Oy’ll get the chance to clobber ‘im meself, eh? Eh? Just a thought!” She threw herself down in the seat and leaned in. “So… ‘ow’s the Doc takin’ yer new look? Bit o’ trouble in Paradise Oy bet eh, eh?” She tipped me a knowing wink. “Ya want Oy should go talk to ‘er?”
I considered the earnest, open face before answering. Merry is almost as subtle as a photonic torpedo and I was sure Sunny would be in a devastated frame of mind already… But how could you say no to a well-meaning friend without hurting their feelings?
“She’s… coping with it.” I smiled weakly. “We haven’t had any time to thrash out the, um, ramifications of it yet… if you know what I mean!” I gave her a meaningful look.
“Roight!” Merry laid a finger alongside her nose and winked. “Well don’t you be too worried, Boss Lady! The two of ya need each other, now more’n ever! Oy reckon she’ll remember that in the end. S’loike they says in all ‘em ol’ movies! ‘True Love’ll foind a way’ eh, eh?”
I wished I’d felt as confident as she did. Sunny never went into any lurid details but the idea of being with a Stallion gives her the willies. When I asked her about it up she shivered in disgust and changed the subject so it had to be something pretty traumatic. In my case, I’d never found a satisfying… or considerate… male lover so I just widened my interests. I’m a Lesbian by choice, but Sunny gave me the impression she never got a choice. That she loved me I never doubted… but this promised to put a hell of a strain on our relationship! …And I was more than a little scared.
“Well… things will never be the same from this point forward, that’s for sure!” I admitted, deflecting the course of the conversation. “She’ll take Tyllae’s loss hard. …It’s like losing a child.”
“Yeah, Oy can ‘preciate that.” Something in the look she gave me let me know that she saw more than I’d let on. “Oy’ll drop by Sick Bay an’ see ‘ow she’s ‘oldin’ up then.” She clapped her knees with her hooves and stood up. “Keep yer chin up, Starry. We’ll get through this all roight, you’ll see!” She gave me a little dig with her elbow. “Eh, eh?” She gave me another wink and made her way to the door at about the same time Xantippe passed by me with her eyes downcast in Zebrican courtesy.
I reached out to touch the Zebra’s arm. “Xantippe…”
She stopped and lifted limpid, brown eyes that glimmered with sadness briefly before she drew her veil of Zebra decorum over them. I felt a sudden rush of empathy for the Mare. Like me, she was almost an alien among Ponies. Her culture… and mine… made us that way. Like me, she left her home to live among another people for her own reasons. I was Equestrin enough to respect that and not to ask her why, none of my business as I reckoned it. The fact that she was on this ship showed that she had devoted herself to working for the common good of the Federation and not just for Zebrica or Earth. I gave her arm a squeeze before I dropped my hand.
“Xantippe, you mentioned that iron poisons the Fey.” I swallowed before continuing. “Do the stories mention a cure? Is there any hope that Tyllae…?” The look in her eyes made me trail off into silence.
“The Little Folk are brave and strong… but against cold iron they do not last long.” She said in a quiet voice almost drowned out by the distant thrumming of the plasma conduits that brought power and life to the Hermes. “The Faeries, by another name, were long venerated among my kind. For their gentle wisdom and their gaiety they have been revered for time out of mind.” She looked wistful for a moment at something far removed in space and time. “They taught us important things like how to be happy and patient and to live with land we called out own, lessons, it seems Ponies seem to have outgrown. Despite the firmness of out position, we were told we believed a superstition.” She shook her head wearily. “For the sake of good they did good to return threefold, in hindsight a lesson lost on us all if I may be so bold!” She dropped her eyes and shook her head, her earrings swinging. “Poor lost little dove! As it is said, ‘There is no greater love…’” She closed her eyes, bright tears appearing at their corners.
I took her tray from her gently and deposited it on the table. Even seated I was taller than she was so it wasn’t an effort to gather her up in my arms for a hug. I stifled her single sob against my shoulder, my own eyes burning with tears that never fell. The words of Celestia rang in my ears and I echoed them as I patted the back of her head.
“Don’t cry because she’s gone, smile because you remember her.” I said softly.
Xantippe hugged me fiercely before disengaging to compose herself.
“This is true; I must not be so silly.” She smiled an unsteady smile. “What would Tyllae think to look at me?”
“I think I know this much,” I gave her the ghost of a wink. “…She’d be pleased to know she was loved so much!”
Xantippe held my eyes for a warm second before dropping them demurely. She gathered up her tray and offered me one of her Zebrican bows before she shuffle-stepped out of the room. I watched her leave. When the doors whooshed shut behind her I turned my eyes to Willowbark.
“What’s on your mind, Doctor?”
He looked up, once again caught up in whatever he was thinking. He quickly assumed a professional expression.
“Hm? Yes, I wanted to schedule you for a complete physical. With your new… situation, we’ll have to establish new baseline readings for you. I would also like to have another look at your wrist and hand before I go back to Sickbay.” He stopped dithering and looked at me frankly. “As long as I’m here, I wanted to ask you something. May I?”
I extended my arm toward him. He rose and began fussing with the splint. He didn’t look up at me as he worked.
“Commander, while you were down there…” He partially undid then retightened the splint. “You actually saw Celestia, didn’t you?” he darted a glance at me.
“I think I know where you’re going with this, Doctor. Yeah, she’s real. We saw her, at least as she was millennia ago. A quadruped… like the rest of the Ponies of the day. The stories were true after all.” I gave him a wry grin. “Looks like we’re all descended of Augments in the end, doesn’t it?”
He matched my expression. “Touché, Commander.” He gave my hand a visual once-over and resumed his seat. “What happens if we’re able to meet her, I wonder?”
“Meet them, you mean.” I corrected him. “Celestia and Luna are a pair. What are you getting at, anyway?”
Willowbark contemplated me for a moment, then, “I’m a Doctor, I’ve been one a good time now. I was in The War, you know. Front-line stuff, I was a medic on the cruiser Roamel, one of the old-style ‘Hammer-Head’ ships. You know the kind. I understand you were posted with Captain Caper on Mountgomery.”
I nodded, my mind briefly filled with memories of the cramped…at least from my standpoint… vessels with their characteristic T-shaped forward hulls. They were the last ships in service without Shielding, their hulls reinforced with superconducting armor plating. They were also among the last Starfleet designs incorporating the inboard Time Warp Drive before the present Saucer-and-Nacelle configuration. Primitive by today’s standards, real bare-bones down-and-dirty warships.
“I saw a lot of frankly horrific things.” Willowbark went on dispassionately. “The Engineers told me that the Romulans couldn’t make a Warp Field large enough for a ship. They knew enough about it, though, to be able to accelerate a laser beam into the delta frequencies. Nasty things, delta lasers…” As if he had thrown a switch, his eyes became blank as he put distance between his conscious mind and the memories. His voice assumed a practiced, neutral tone. “Most of the energy went straight through the armor like it wasn’t there. Anything organic just went up in a steam explosion. Just being in the vicinity of a hit caused horrible, disfiguring burns that went cancerous every single time. I was nearby Doctor Retort when we took a hit at the battle of Charon. We were gearing up to tend wounded on another deck. One second she was there helping us load supplies on a gurney then zap, splat! I was pelted with boiling bits of her as that end of Sickbay went up in a blast of superheated air! I caught a piece of it. From armpit to knee I was burned. Lung, liver, bowel. All delta-burned.” He causally indicated himself beneath his uniform. “You can’t imagine how much it hurt. The scarring is irreparable. Five years of cancer therapies and reconstructive surgery. I was among the lucky ones. I was evaced to another ship. Most others weren’t nearly so fortunate. There are thousands of living horror shows still alive out there. Like them, I’ll never have children. I don’t even have the inclination to try any more. I’m forty years old.” The haggard ghost of a note of bitterness crept into his voice though his eyes stayed resolutely neutral.
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I said carefully. “When the Hermes was commissioned we cruised by ourselves more than a few times. We lost good Ponies. Many more were… wounded and medically discharged.” I could empathize with him, if only a little. I got a delta-burn on most of my left arm. Augmentation saved me. The fur fell out, the scars eventually went away. The fur that grew back came back solid white before falling out again to re-grow normally. It hurt like Hell, but I had a job to get done. At least my DNA survived intact… though I did take the precaution of having a few ova removed and preserved when I enlisted. I figured I could will them to the Colony if I came through all this alive.
I didn’t lose what Willowbark did nor did I have to deal with what he did on a daily basis. To his credit I’ve never heard him complain about it to anypony… though it did go a long way toward explaining the more irascible elements of his personality. My estimation of his character ratcheted up a few points. And yet, there had to be a reason for him to bring it up now. I made a guess about where he was going but he spoke before I did.
“If these ‘Goddesses’ have been alive all this time.” He said. “If they had the potential to keep all this from happening…” His eyes went glacial as he locked gazes with me suddenly. “…Then they have a lot to answer for, haven’t they? Not just for me, Commander! I’m just one Pony who made his choices and lived with the consequences. What’s done is done on that account. Just like you and Equestris. Do they have the right to just come back as if the last three thousand years never happened… do we even want them back after they left us?”
I regarded him for long moments before replying, wondering just how to answer that. “Look, I can’t presume to speak for everypony.” I began. “I don’t believe I have that right. We don’t have all the facts yet. All we have is tradition and folklore that hasn’t survived intact over the years. All we know is that the Goddesses were important to Ponykind and that their loss affected the course of our History. We have the chance now to get some answers… if we can get by Discord, that is! Tyllae thought that getting them was worth the risk and that’s good enough for me. As for the rest…” I shrugged. “If we win through in the end you can ask Celestia herself. I’ll make sure you get the chance, you’ve got my word on that.” I offered him my good hoof. After a moment he extended his and I gripped his forearm hard enough to show him that I meant what I said. “Fair enough?”
He squeezed me back surprisingly hard and held my eyes. “I believe you.” He said, searching my gaze. “Fair enough. Who could ask for anything fairer than that?”
He released me and collected himself, becoming all business again. “I should get back to Sickbay. It is my Watch and Doctor Cross, I daresay, will be glad to be relieved.” He stood and stuck his hooves into his lab coat. “You should be able to remove the splint by the end of this Watch. The healing and regeneration spell matrices are doing very well, if I do say so myself. Call me if you have any discomfort.” He said briskly, and then hung back for a moment.
“I would have thought that you would have been a bit more… fanatical in your beliefs, Starry-Eyes. I am pleasantly surprised.” An element of a twinkle made itself visible in his eyes for just a moment before being hidden away again. “And gratified. Thank you for listening.”
“I prefer to think of myself as a rationalist rather than a fanatic, Willow.” I gave him a twisted grin. “I’m sure you’re not asking anything that hasn’t already occurred to many other Ponies. In any event, you’re welcome!” I paused for a moment. “Could you do me a favor?”
He raised his eyebrows inquisitively and waited.
“I have some things to do first but I’ll be going back to our quarters afterwards. Tell Sunny I’ll be there if she wants to, uh, talk about… what’s happened.”
Willowbark quirked a Vulcan-esque eyebrow. “‘If’, Starry? I was privy to the talk you had with the Comm Officer.” He coughed delicately into one hoof. “I’m not a qualified Psychiatrist by any means, but maybe you shouldn’t sell yourself… or Doctor Cross… so short.” He removed one hoof to sketch me a loose salute. “I’ll pass along your message, never fear. Take care in the meantime.” He smiled his trademark tight smile and left.
As a self-proclaimed rationalist, my first stop was the Quartermaster where I got my remodeled body scanned for a new set of clothes. As before, it took a few tries to get something that fit well enough. I couldn’t get a set of trousers baggy enough to de-emphasize that damn bulge in the front… the story of my life, it seems! The boxer shorts were pleasantly roomy, though…
I had an anxious moment when I had to use the bathroom. Though there were no others using the facilities I had to will myself to go through the door marked ‘Stallions’ and was so self-conscious I couldn’t bring myself to stand in front of the urinal. Going into a stall wasn’t much better. The height difference between me and the toilet seemed to be way too far for sanitary comfort. In the end I ended up sitting down, feeling somehow mortified! In the future I resolved to use the facilities in our quarters no matter how out of the way it was!
The Quartermaster Department contained the ships stylists and I got myself a more appropriate manecut. I chose a no-nonsense Military style that left the vast majority of my luxurious mane on the floor. I really liked my mane! I always thought it was my best feature although, prior to Sunny, I rarely bothered to style it in anything like an elaborate fashion. I was proud of its thickness and its body and its comfortable weight on my neck and shoulders. Letting it go was a wrench. Tears actually stung my eyes when I had my tail trimmed down to masculine norms. Somehow the enormity of my change never hit home until I regarded the new me that looked back out of the mirror with tears shining in his eyes…
The Starry-Eyes that strode purposefully through the corridors was just familiar enough to those I passed that I collected countless double-takes as I made my way back home. A few ponies stopped dead and turned to say something but I just couldn’t do it. I. Just. Couldn’t.
By the time I got there I was furious. Furious with my failure to protect Stimbolt and Tyllae; furious that I couldn’t keep Dazzle from being Discord’s plaything, furious with a universe that let itself become riddled with illogical and insane Magic! Grief piled upon guilt. Stimbolt, Tyllae, and what had been done to me jostled each other in my mind and I’m forever ashamed to say that I couldn’t decide what hurt me worst just then. How much could one Pony be forced to bear? By the time I hit the door I had to clamp my jaw shut to keep my chin from quivering and the tears I’d been staving off filled my eyes and blurred my vision.
When I stepped inside, the lingering scent of Sunny’s perfume and the blossoms of the Geeva plant broke the last fragile threads of my restraint. I shut my eyes and sobbed, the hot tears running down my face as I sagged against the wall and just gave up.
A soft noise made me throw open my eyes. I could just make out a splash of color against the bedspread. Brilliant white, Medical Blue and the golden curls of her mane, Sunny sat on my side of the bed. Her head whirled my way and her lovely eyes went wide.
I froze against the wall. The way Sunny kissed me when we returned to the ship should have convinced me that she still loved me… but my insecurities were so inflamed by this particular point that I was terrified that even now she would take one good look, come to her senses, and flee from me.
I flinched as she studied the newly-refurbished me, her head slowly cocked to one side and I held my shuddering breath. She stood slowly and deliberately and I saw that she had been holding something in one hoof… the ribbons that had been wrapped ‘round our hooves when we were married trailed in the air as she stepped forward. One step… the next one came faster… she half-jumped and half-flew that last step into my waiting arms, draping those ribbons across my neck. I remember sinking to my knees at some point, my head cradled against her breast as I moaned and sobbed unintelligible apologies and regrets. Sunny held me tight. I don’t remember what she murmured to comfort me, I just remember the love in her voice and the sympathetic tears that dampened my mane. It healed my wounded soul just to hear her tell me again and again that It Was Going To Be All Right.
Eventually the storm passed to the point that I became coherent again. Drained by the events of the past day I numbly let her help me to my hooves.
“Och, me poor Dear!” She whispered soothingly. “Sure ‘n ye’ve reason t’ cry! I ken ye need t’ sleep but I’ve summat here I fancy’ll brighten yer dreams just a wee bit.”
I shook a head that felt like it weighed more than a starship. “Sunny, I just can’t! I don’t even know how all this new plumbing is supposed to work and in any event I feel like ten miles of collapsed tunnel…”
Her tail switched me on the bottom! “Let’s be takin’ things one step at a time… boyo!” She growled, not unaffectionatley. “If ye can drag yer mind out o’ gutter long enough t’ pay attention t’ what I’ve got t’ say I’ll be thankin’ ye t’ keep yer voice down t’ dull roar! Ye’re no th’ only one that needs t’ sleep!”
I nodded muzzily. “Well let’s go, then. I promise to keep on my side of the bed. Like I said, I feel like a wreck!” I blinked, on the verge of just collapsing face-down on the bed. “Maybe you should put on some pajamas, though. I’ve heard of this thing called ‘the gallant reflex’…”
Sunny made a disgusted noise and fetched me a kick to my shins!
“Ow! Damnit, Sunny! Look, I’m just not in the mood for Doctor Cross’s Cure-All Remedy right now… though I applaud your willingness to experiment! Maybe later if you feel up to it, ok?”
“Dinna flatter yerself! I dinna think yer that handsome… yet!” She amended with a coquettish gleam in her eye that was replaced immediately by tolerant irritation as she reached up to grab my chin and my attention!
“Now then, Mind yer manners, ye great lump!” She gave me a tender swat with her tail. “There’s someone here that wants t’ say hello n’ good-night t’ ye!” She turned my head toward my side of the bed.
There, curled up under a Starfleet-Blue towel, too tired to finish the brownie on the plate next to her, too tired to flit into the air, almost too tired to stay awake, lay Tyllae! Those incredibly weary black-button eyes smiled up at me as she gave a feeble wave of a tiny foreleg.
“Hi-hii, Starry!” Her voice was heartbreakingly faint. “Surprise!”
Stats
Page generated in 0.048 seconds
Total duration
1,068 users online
1,947,507 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
OH MY GOSH I LOVE STAR TREK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was the Genesis Effect! Though I guess they'd call it something different here. The Pinkie Pie effect? Since that's how Equestria was made.
Looks like wee Tyllae was a bit tougher than Discord accounted for.
SHE LIVES!!!!!!!
Now back to plotting Discord's most very painful death for hurting sweet little Tylle! *Wonders off to a door that says 'Pain Lab, Enter at Your Own Suffering'* Hmmm those Delta Warp Lasers sound promising. Wonder what will happen if you fire the Elements though the activing mechanism?
(echoing from the shadows)
No, we're not going to kill Discord. To quote Jim Carrey's Riddler, "Don't kill him! If you kill him, he won't learn nothin'!"
What we're gonna have to do is make him suffer, and for that, we're gonna need a couple very, very angry Princesses. How will we get them that angry? Show 'em the little mess he made, that's now. Oh, yeah, don't forget to let 'em take a gander at Tyllae, too.
I've never heard a planet-shattering scream, have you?
(Stepping out into the light)
Okay, now that's out of my system ...
Didn't think you could let Tyllae go; more importantly, I didn't think Sunny would. Now we get to watch as Starry gets over her existential crisis, and really uses his anger - instead of it using him. To quote Governor Kor, "It'll be glorious."
3139389 The Delta Laser owes its Genesis (Trek Pun Alert!
) to both the old Starfleet Chronology of Spaceflight Manual and the TOS episode 'Court Martial', The Manual mentioned that during the Romulan War the nonlethal wounds inflicted by Romulan Lasers turned uniformly cancerous. And Chris Pike was mutilated upon exposure to Delta Rays. Assuming that Delta Rays are part of the progression through the EM spectrum, Alpha, Beta, Gamma the next level of energy seemed obvious. I took the liberty of synthesizing the two effects. It seemed reasonable that the Roms were using an FTL laser system!
3140016 There is a line from Hitchhiker's Guide that always chilled me when I read it. When the Earth was destroyed, "There was an awful, hideous noise, then an awful, hideous light... then an awful, hideous silence..." (I paraphrase!)
Rather than the Goddesses scream, I would be more fearful of their balefire, silent glare!
Is THAT existentialism? I never looked it up. Starry has issues from her youth on Equestris. On the one hoof she wants everypony to like her, but on the other one she's driven by her cultural ethics to prove herself and help bury the legacy of Khan and Green forever.
3139389 Warp-accelerated Elemental Power? E-gads!
3139291 I disagree.
The Genesis Effect is a restructuring of matter at the Quantum Level. What I intended as happening to Willlowbark was an FTL laser, gruesome and gritty!
3139146 And The Great Bird Of The Galaxy Loves You, Too! Welcome Aboard!
I just have one thing to say...
YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!! SHE'S ALIVE, SHE'S ALIVE, SHE'S ALIVE!!!!!
*cough* Not that I ever doubted that she was, not for a minute.
By the way, the "Hammerhead" ships were the Marshall class - ponified into Mareshall, I'd guess.
You can tell the older Trek geeks; they know this stuff.
3140774 More like literal weaponized Friendship...
3140910 you DO know you're probably gonna have to explain that. only you first gen trekkies and us second gen trekkies know that one.
3142608
now I gotta look that one up. I don't remember any hammerhead configurations in any of the ship designs I've seen over the years at all
note to Alicorne; one of the crew is in the middle of a TOS marathon. even they type one shuttle has just had a rebuild by one of our pros. 'bout time too, the old model was made with its landing gear down :P
3144241 It's in the Spaceflight Chronology by Pocket Books; you might be able to find it online, 'cause I don't know if it still exists in print form - maybe Amazon.
Good luck, either way.
There's a few databases, but you'll have to google it; I don't remember them off-hand.
3140751 Starry's questioning everything, just about; if that isn't an existential crisis, I don't know what is.
3141032 Yeah, I'm a sentimental old codger.
.. and Tyllae is perhaps my favorite character! (Aside from Amber Rose and, of course, Starry-Eyes!)
But DON'T get the idea she's immortal!
3144232 What? The Great Bird?
It was the title for Gene Roddenberry of Sainted Memory. (At least he SHOULD be!) The Great Bird of the Galaxy was also mentioned by Sulu in 'Man Trap'. When Rand brings him a snack in the Arboretum he says, "May the Great Bird of the Galaxy Bless Your Planet!"
...This bit of Trek Trivia brought to you by Tumbledown Lode Cider of Equestris! Drink enough to Tumbledown!
3142608 Was there a 'Patton-Class'? Or was that one of the Marshalls? As soon as I get a job I've GOT to get my old Trek books again!
3145269 Patton was Marshall class; it was one of the featured ships in the Chronology. Here, have a picture:
stevepugh.net/fleet/images/marshall.jpg
3140910 whoo hoo!
3145305 That's the beastie! Armed w/particle beams & missiles asI recall. I was trying to integrate those ships w/the ones in SFB that fought the Romlan War. Ah, memories!
3146005*Does the Pony Polka!*
*...reports to Sickbay moments later...*
3144836
I found it on Memory Beta. it looks like it belongs more in the star wars universe (a Blockade runner nose tacked onto an A-wing. the deco didn't help)
3145305
there's also a heavy-connie style Patton in Bridge Commander under the Terran Empire
3148996.
did you know my dad is surprised I like star trek? He's weird!
3157333 It takes all kinds of nuts to make a fruitcake, man!