STAR TREK: EQUESTRIA

by Alicorne

Chapter Thirty Five- The Wrath of Discord

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

THE WRATH OF DISCORD

Stimbolt ducked beneath their arms and backed away until he ran into the Captain’s Station. I grabbed up my tricorder before I realized the translation matrix was just a fond memory. I dropped it to dangle off my neck and spread my arms wide, palms open an empty.

“Wait!” I boomed at the Gorn. All those Reptilian faces swiveled to look in my direction, their uncanny eyes staring! I lowered my voice to something approaching conversational level before continuing. “We didn’t do this.” I stated slowly and, I hoped, reasonably. “We’ve been lured here by the being that lured you here. He attacked us.” I indicated my burned clothing. “We drove him off. I’m sorry for the damage to your ship. …Can you understand me at all?”

To their credit the five Gorn did not attack. Two of them leaned heavily on their consoles. Another closed hir eyes and raised a clawed hand to hir head. The Pilot spun hir chair ‘round, legs splayed and braced against the deck to leap to hir feet, but stayed in hir seat. Hir maw opened to emit a set of sibilant rasps and atonal noises. Copper-Tunic split hir concentration between Stimbolt and myself, cocking hir ear-holes toward the Pilot. Hir own arms came out slowly, hir claws waving to hir crew in what I sincerely hoped was a stay-calm-and-lets-see-what’s-going-on gesture.

Shi certainly had their attention. Articulated hissing and weird, almost birdlike calls came from each of the others until shi arched the claws of one hand, turning hir body to glare at the majority of hir crew. The fell silent and turned to their boards, keeping one eye on us all the while. One at a time they spoke again. Short phrases and subdues gestures starting with the Pilot and ending with Green-Tunic who stood nearest hir. Were they giving status reports? I began to wonder how we would have reacted if we were in their place? Long seconds passed while the lingering smoke wafted off into the life-support systems.

“Starry?” Dazzle said softly. “I don’t know if our phased-balefire guns are still gonna work after Stimbolt’s little stunt…”

I turned my neck to catch the Chief’s eye… a maneuver that made the Gorn hiss softly, more than a few of them cocking one eye bird-fashion at me!

“Keep your hooves open and empty, all of you!” I said levelly. “We have to convince them we aren’t responsible for what happened to them. They haven’t started shooting. Barbarians don’t build starships. They’re rational beings, let’s hope they’re rational enough to give us the benefit of the doubt!”

Copper-Tunic turned to face me and mimicked my gesture, turning hir palms toward me. I turned toward hir and we locked gazes. Shi hissed something and pointed with one claw to the body of the Captain.

“Hoo-buck!” Dazzle said softly. “Here we go! Let’s hope they don’t access their logs!”

“Quiet!” I said over my shoulder. I regarded the Gorn before me and shook my head slowly from left to right as they all stared. “No. We did not do that. That was Discord. We are Ponies.” I pointed to myself, then at my crewmates. “Ponies.”

Shi turned her body and warbled something to the Gorn who stood at the Sensory Station Stimbolt had vandalized. That individual began working hir board, hissing in frustration as she worked around burned out systems. Next to hir the assumed Communications Officer sprang into action. An instant later, hir display lit up with a view of the Survey Marker buried in the meadow beyond the ship. Copper-Tunic pointed to it with one claw.

“Fffone-iss.” Shi hissed, then pointed at me. “Fffone-iss.”

“Shi has no lips!” Sunny said quietly. “Shi’s sayin’ ‘Ponies’!”

“I think shi’s wondering if that’s our satellite.” Stimbolt said hesitantly. Copper-Tunic turned to look at him and he blanched, edging away from the slain Captain to stand by me. Shi turned her body to look at me once again and one of hir claws made a horizontal pawing motion at me while the rest of hir crew stared intently.

“Er, I think we’ve reached an impasse.” Sunny whispered.

“Now what?” Dazzle whispered back.

“Quiet!” I watched as the pawing motion was repeated more urgently. Copper-Tunic raised that same appendage to her mouth and opened and closed hir fingers a few times before pointing at us.

Stimbolt caught on a fraction of a second before I did.

“Shi wants us to keep talking! I think they’re running our voices through what’s left of their computers. They must have a translation program!”

“Or maybe they just want to record our last words for posterity… before they turn us into snacks!” Dazzle put in grimly.

“Words.” We looked up at the synthetic voice, gravelly and hissing, rang from the Bridge speakers. “Your words make into our words. Keep talking.”

“Fillies and Gentlecolts I believe we have First Contact.” I said quietly before raising my voice to address Copper-Tunic. “I am Commander Starry-Eyes from the starship orbiting above this location.” I paused to let their machine digest this. “We represent the United Federation of Pastures and we come in peace. We saw your ship from orbit and came to investigate. We found your crew incapacitated and unable to move. We wanted to help. We were attacked while we were here by…” I wondered how to describe Discord. “…An enemy of both our people. We drove him off by using the equipment on your ship. In doing so we damaged it. We’re sorry about the death of your Captain. We wish to help repair your ship to show our good intentions.” I paused as the speakers began rendering what I said into the twitters and hisses of the Gorn language.

The crew began talking among themselves, their voices becoming agitated as Red-Tunic pointed at the body of the Captain. Copper-Tunic took no part of it, watching us intently and in silence with those unsettling eyes. Shi abruptly arched the claws of one hand and hir crew went silent. She spoke, after a pair of seconds the translation came over the speakers.

“Keep talking. More words. Machine wish help.” Shi splayed the claws of one hand to hirself. “I am…” The translator stuttered and supplied the closest analog. “…*Commander* of this ship. Federation of Pastures damage our ship. Damage *Higher-than-Commander*. Damage crew. No enemy here now. We investigate Federation of Pastures damage ship and crew. Now.” She clopped hir jaws shut to indicate the emphasis on that last word.

Sunny stepped up to the plate. She offered the Gorn a bow before speaking.

“I am Doctor Solar Cross.” She pointed to herself demurely. “I am a Doctor… I repair damaged people. Damaged in body or mind.” She touched her breast then her head. “Th’ Federation of Pastures is made up of many people. We are called ‘Ponies’. All o’ us…” She gestured to our little group. “…Are Ponies. If any o’ ye are hurt or in pain I want to help.” She turned her dazzling eyes on the Commander. “Please, may I?”

The Gorn remained silent listening to the playback then tossed subdued comments back and forth as their translator tangled with Sunnys’ accent.

I pointed to Stimbolt. “This one is an Engineer. He works with machines that make a ship function. Both he and the Doctor will help with your ship and crew. Our enemy is a creature of vast power and ability. But he does not understand machines as well as we do. We were able to trick him because of this…” I stopped as the Commander arched hir claws at me.

“Understand Doctor. Understand Engineer. Understand Ponies part of Federation of Pastures. Descriptive words funny. What is ‘he’? He…” Shi pointed to Stimbolt. “…Damaged the ship? Why should we let he do more damage? You not explain enough. We do not understand. How can enemy be here and then not be here? Our machines show no one else on this planet. We think you lie, Commander Starry-Eyes. Understand ‘lie’?”

“Oh, come on!” Dazzle stepped forward. “If we wanted you dead we would have pasted you from orbit! Why would we come down here with just a few of us? Think it through, damnit!”

I laid a hoof heavily on her shoulder. “Easy, Dazzle!”

“ I don’t trust them, Starry!” Dazzle retorted. “Have you noticed that their translator only seems to be working one way? They’re all hearing what we say but all we can hear is what they want us to!”

“Stand down and now!” I fixed her with a glare. “They have no reason to trust other than the fact that we’re not being hostile, now do they?”

“That one is a warrior, is he not? You brought one warrior to go among we Gorn?” The speakers asked.

I turned my attention back to the Commander.

“Your translator is very good and I am impressed that it still functions at all after what happened. But it is still learning our language and our understanding of one another is still imperfect. For example, Ponies have two genders! Male…” I pointed to Stimbolt. “…And female.” I pointed to myself. Dazzle cleared her throat significantly and rotated my wrist to point at her! I felt my ears droop and hurried to continue. “We saw from orbit that all your crew was asleep. We did not understand why that should be so we came here to offer Doctors an Technicians to see if we could help. Dazzle is not a soldier as such and was brought along to help keep us safe from whatever happened to you.” I stopped to let all that go through the system.

“We came into orbit. We saw your machine in the ground. We were attacked in orbit by could see no other ship. We landed near your device. We dreamed nightmares. We awoke to find you here and our *Pack-Leader* dead and our ship damaged even more. Did you think to capture us alive to learn more about the Gorn before attacking? Perhaps your Nightmare Weapon does not work on Gorn like you hoped. Perhaps your Doctor and Engineer came to make sure it would. Perhaps you can hide your ship from ours with technology. Ponies have a strange way of making war. As strange as the story you want us to believe. Where is the proof of what you say, Commander Starry-Eyes? Why should we trust what you say? Why?” She clapped hir jaws shut hard on that last word.

‘Why, indeed?’ I wondered. Intellectually I couldn’t blame hir. If the horseshoe was on the other hoof what would I think? I seethed at the fact that we were being set up but for the life of me I couldn’t think of any way to prove it, damn Discord! All I could think to tell hir was the truth… as improbable as it sounded. At least they hadn’t gotten around to playing back what Discord put in their logs yet…

“The enemy I spoke of is a… supernatural… creature. One that exists to cause chaos and mayhem for his amusement.” I paused and sighed, giving the Commander an exasperated look. “Look, I know what this sounds like! I understand that there is no good reason for you to trust me. But, if I were lying, don’t you think I could have made up a more believable story?”

“Supernatural is not real. *The Everything* works by laws that can be worked out by *calculation*. Facts are facts. Are Ponies insane?” The Commander wondered as flatly as hir synthesized voice could.

“D’ye no ken, er, do ye understand that plain facts are just statistics?” Sunny asked softly. “N’ statistics can be manipulated. Usin’ mere ‘facts’ I could ‘prove’…” She made air quotes, a gesture the Gorn found very interesting. “…That apples cause shuttle disasters because most pilots who crashed shuttles ate apples. In a Universe that operates accordin’ t’ th’ laws of physics are there no things that seem t’ happen against these laws? Do they no happen all th’ time throughout time? Is it just a coincidence o’ probability, or is summat… eh, some-thing… (She enunciated carefully!) else involved? Magic is supernatural yet Magic is part o’ th’ Universe.” Her horn shone brightly in the dimness of the Bridge and a cascade of pastel red and yellow ethereal blooms fell around her like supernatural snow only to vanish when they hit the decking. “N’ th’ Universe is part o’ th’ Magic.” She finished quietly.

Most of the Gorn hissed softly at the display and all of them stared with their unnerving eyes. I reached out to touch Sunny on the shoulder as the translator did its work.

“It was a good effort, but they’ll either believe us or not. That’s ‘facts’ for you!” I gave her a tender smile.

She looked back at me and for a fleeting moment the Sunny I knew and loved was there… but, as she looked at me, her eyes grew troubled and she looked away. My hoof, suddenly as heavy as the lump of neutronium in my chest, fell to my side limply as the Gorn held conclave before us. I just didn’t have the heart to pay much attention just then.

“If this is war…then it is an insane way to make a war.” The Commanders’ voice wrenched my attention back at attention. “In our experience insane peoples do not build starships.” I shot Dazzle a brief, I-told-you-so look! “My *self-feeling* tells me that perhaps you do not lie. Perhaps we do not have all the information to understand.. yet.” Shi waved a clawed hand at the sensor station. “Your ship in orbit is watching us with its machines. Our ship cannot stop this in its present condition. It is very large. There are many on board. It is not doubted that your weapons can reach the surface of this planet easily.”

“That is true on both counts, Commander.” I said, the beginnings of a wave of relief threatening to overflow my senses. “But we did not come here to fight. It is as I said. We came to help and investigate.”

“There is no indication of a small ship nearby. Like the Gorn, Ponies have a *Remote Placing Device*. Your ship could have taken you up at once and you could have slain us at will. Yet you stayed to… talk.” The Gorn cocked hir head to look at me with one sparkling, orange eye.

“Well…” I gave hir a smile and a shrug. “…I won’t lie to you, Commander. When we used your equipment to save ourselves from our enemy we destroyed our ability to call our ship. We were in the process of seeing whether or not your ship retained the ability of communicating at, uh, speed-of-light methods when you woke up. We did not understand what had happened to you and needed to get more help in order to find out.” I pointed forward to beyond the ship. “ The small machine in the ground outside is a marker left by an automated Survey Ship that was programmed to search out worlds for colonization. We have since lost contact with that ship. It is part of the reason we are in this area of Space.”

The Gorn Commander went back to looking at me with both eyes and hissed softly.

“Then… from where you stand… The Gorn may have destroyed the Survey Ship.” She splayed the claws of one hand, a sign of negation maybe? “We did not do that. We have seen no other ship before coming here. This will be a point of contention between the Federation of Pastures and the *Hegemony*, Commander Starry-Eyes. The Gorn do not recognize a claim made by a machine. This is a good world. A rich world. The *Hegemony* want it very much. And the Gorn landed here first!”

“Well…” I gave the Gorn a helpless grin. “That will have to be a job for the Diplomats, won’t it? Hopefully the Federation and the Gorn can work something out. A planet is a big place with room for all sorts of people. I believe the Federation would be happy to share one. In the meantime I’d like to offer the help of my shipmates and I in getting your ship spaceworthy again… if you will allow us?” I slowly extended my hoof to the alien Commander. “Among my people it is the custom to grip forearms when we greet new friends.” I explained.

The Gorn regarded my open hoof with one eye then the other in rapid succession before returning hir gaze to my face. Shi hissed softly as shi stretched forth her hand and took my forearm, hir three-clawed hand having an awkward time of getting a comfortable grip. We squeezed firmly. The Gorn felt cool to the touch.

We released one another but her claw remained poised.

“In our culture.” Shi stated. “We put our claws to each other’s throat. The meaning is the same, is it not? To show there is no indication to fight.”

I nodded. The gesture making the rest of the Gorn hiss.

“Then I will do the same.” I raised my hoof to lay it alongside hir throat just under the jaw. Hir claws came up to rest alongside my jugular, barely making contact.

Shi returned hir claw to her side.

“This may not be friendship yet, Commander Starry-Eyes, but at least it is a pause to allow understanding. The Gorn will abide.” Hir maw parted just a little bit… an emotional expression, maybe… and the quality of hir hissing changed as shi added. “How do Ponies keep their heads on with such loose necks? It makes us feel *pain-by-sympathy* to watch you!”

Shi half-turned as Red Tunic spoke up. Shi arched her claws at hir and turned back to me.

“Your ship calls you.” Shi pointed to the screen by Red-Tunic. “There. We will wait.” Shi motioned hir people to stand to one side, presumably in the range of the visual pickup.

All I wanted to really do was sag in relief just then. I wouldn’t have given a hoof-full of low grade gravel for our chances up until those last few seconds! As it was I drew myself up and released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding.

The Romulans, I’m sure, wouldn’t have believed a word of it and would have bided their time waiting for just the right moment to strike back. The Klingons would have taken just one look and came out swinging and to Hell with the consequences. The Gorn had shown patience that maybe even a Starfleet Crew might not have… and for that I was eternally grateful! In the course of the Federations’ history there had been worse First Contacts and I held out a lot of hope that things were off on the right hoof between these Gorn and ourselves.

Red-Tunic lingered by hir station, one claw-tip poised over the control that would open the channel. Hir eyes blinked at me in the back-and-forth way their eyes had as I nodded cordially to hir. Shi closed the contact as I stepped up.

I was about to thank hir when she erupted into green flame to the trilling tone of a full-strength phased-balefire hit!

I dodged away and whirled just in time to see the rest of the Gorn crew fall in rapid succession, a small bale-bonfire marking each fallen form. The Commander was the last to go. Shi had just enough time to look right at me, hir mouth agape and her conical teeth displayed. Shi warbled something… and then she was gone in an arcane blaze!

“What? What treach-?” Hir last words, time-lagged, came across the speaker and died away into the shocked silence. A moment later the fire suppression system on the Bridge sprang into action and a chemical fog spread from the ceiling to begin pooling on the deck.

I whirled to face the landing party!

“Who fired? Why?”

“Hay! Don’t look at me!” Dazzle declared, displaying her open and empty hooves. Sunny was wide-eyed in shock. I knew she was unarmed so I bent my glare on the hapless Stimbolt who splayed his own empty hooves and shook his head violently.

I looked at the miniature pyres burning on the deck, the balefire gleefully consuming the extinguishing gas and being indifferent to the tragedy.

“I know I sure as Hell didn’t do it!” I growled. “Damn it!”

“What a tragedy!” Exclaimed the insincere voice from the screen behind me.

I whirled again, my mane swinging, and snarled at the face I saw.

A couple seconds ago I’d been expecting to see Capers’ welcome face there. Instead I was face to face with The Prince of Chaos!

He wasn’t quite the same as before. One of his eyes were swollen and blackened. The deer antler on his head was being held together by a splint, a pair of band-aids made an ‘x’ on his cheek, and the broken fang he’d sported before had a new neighbor on the other side of his muzzle. The end of his goat’s beard smoldered as we watched and his shoulders and arms were scraped and raw in places. The hand that held the Magic Prism alone was unscathed. The rest of the old Monster had been through Hell, it seems, but there was nothing wrong with his annoying, oily voice!

“What a tragedy!” He repeated. “I saw the whole thing happen! Do let me show you!” He sneered into the screen and his visage went away to be replaced by a view of the Gorn Bridge…

We watched as the Gorn crew were chivvied into a group under the sadistic gaze of none other than myself as Dazzle covered them with her rifle! Sunny was bent over the still-twitching body of the Gorn Captain, thick blood spattering her body as she continued dissecting the still-living form beneath her! Stimbolt was busy at work ransacking their electronics, vital components stacked on the deck next to him as he worked.

We all of us were wearing gleeful, maniacal smiles that would have made a Klingon stop and think twice before saying anything! As we watched, the faux-Stimbolt looked over his shoulder and said. “Wait a minute! I’m almost done!” He ripped out on final device and threw it on his pile before hopping over it and drawing his balefire pistol to stand beside me. “Ready, Commander!”

My Evil Twin cocked an eye at the Marquise de Sade-Alicorne as she giggled and sliced away, happy as a foal in a sandbox.

“Last chance, Doc! Ya gonna join us for the fun?”

“Nay, nay! Ye go right on ahead!” My erstwhile Love made a bold slash with her surgical laser, then carelessly shoved organs out of the way as she rooted deep. The Gorn Captain gave forth with a pitiable hissing groan as she continued.

“All this is givin’ me quite th’ appetite n’ I’ve a mind t’ have a wee snack!” She reached deep and pulled out a leathery, blood-smeared egg the size of her fist. “An Omelet! Th’ very thing!” She licked spots of blood off her muzzle as she contemplated her prize.

The Captain hissed weakly and made a weak grab at her.

“Oh, dinna be sich a sissy!” Sunnys’ image made a deft motion with her scalpel and flipped the Captains’ heart out of hir body to throb and spasm wetly on the deck as absurd jets of blood geysered around her. The Captain finally stopped moving and fell silent, the air coming out of hir lungs in one last, mournful hiss.

“Hay! I’ll have that for dessert. Just gimme a minute!” The false Dazzle looked up at me with real bloodlust in her eyes! “Let’s skrag these bastards already!”

“That’s why you’re just a Chief, Chief!” My deranged doppelganger admonished. “As an Officer you learn that half the fun is watching them wait for it!” I waved my gun at the Gorn and they flinched and hissed in alarm. “See?” ‘I’ giggled. “And we’re gonna do ‘em one at a time so the others can watch it. That officer…” The balefire pistol indicated the Commander. “Is mine, so hooves off! That leaves two each for the both of you since The Doc is busy!”

In the background, Sunny had conjured up an iron skillet over a balefire flame that appeared near the corpse. With a flick of her horn she lopped off the end of the egg and decanted it into the hot grease and choice bits sautéing there. Something larger than a yolk tumbled out and squalled piteously as it fell into the pan.

“Oooh!” She squealed and clapped bloody hooves together. “Goody! ‘Tis me lucky day t’ be sure!”

“Right!” Evil Starry beamed at her. “Save me the Prime Rib, Sunny! Ok, you two.” She nodded to her firing squad. “Show me what you learned in Basic!”

Faux-Stimbolt grinned and shot Red-Tunic in the guts. As the body went up in green-flame-rimmed blue he put a second shot square in the chest of Green-Tunic! Two shots in less than two seconds! The bodies crumbled and showered the deck in glowing pink ash as the Commander cringed away.

Dark Dazzle triggered her rifle with a feral chuckle and the two Brown-Tunics went up in writhing pyres at the same instant as Evil Me shook her head.

“You see? That’s just what I mean! You’re always in too big of a hurry! Quality over Quantity! Good shooting, Stimmy!” She clapped the malevolent Middie on the back, almost making him stagger into the crumbling and dissipating ash before she adjusted the her own pistol to the lowest balefire setting. “Now let me show you chumps how it’s done!”

With that, she shot the Commander low on each leg. The balefire consumed each limb, the arcane conflagration moving steadily upwards the writhing torso. The Commander wailed and reached with lashing claws for her as the legless body fell to the deck and burned. It took seven long seconds until the balefire consumed hir head and shi lived through each, agonizing one of them!

She stuck her pistol back in her jacket and rubbed her hooves together with every evidence of satisfaction.

“It’s all in the technique!” She said smugly. Then, “Ok! Let’s eat! Who brought the ‘tater salad?”

The screen went dark for a second before Discord reappeared, grinning!

“There! I caught the whole thing, and that’s exactly how the Gorn will see it! Trust me!” He propped his mismatched head on one paw and regarded us with deranged appreciation, patting his muzzle with the crystal in his free claw. “I must say that you Ponies have really polished your technique over the years!” He wiped at a huge tear that formed in the corner of his good eye. “I’m so proud of you!” He frowned at Stimbolt. “Almost all of you, that is!” He added. He snapped the fingers of the talon that held the crystal and the console gleamed with a verdant aura. The mechanisms there murmured to life.

“Damn you!” I found my voice at last! “What the Hell do you think you’re doing now?”

“I think that’s the Comm panel.” Stimbolt said quietly. “Uh, I think he’s sending a subspace message.”

“But all the subspace circuits are fried!” I protested.

Stimbolt shrugged helplessly. “Magic makes up for a lot.”

Sunny, who had been looking green on her own, suddenly fell on all fours and proceeded to lose her lunch!

“You’re a buckin’ maniac, you know that?” Dazzle stepped forward with balled fists.

“AND HOW DID I GET THAT WAY?” His voice thundered from every speaker on the bridge. We all flinched. The screen dissolved into a multicolored swirl before it stabilized again to show a glaring Discord!

“For more eons than you can possibly imagine with you shriveled Equine mind I was happy. I was free!” He raged. “I was Discord, the Lord of Chaos! Until you Ponies corrupted me! ME! Oh, you all were so very clever about it! No Magic was as powerful as mine. No magic is as powerful as mine!” He brandished the crystal at us in the screen as he declaimed. “You fight dirty, Ponies! I never would have stooped to such tactics! I am a creature with honor…” He became terrifyingly calm again and added matter-of-factly. “My kind of honor, that is…and that’s the only kind that matters, you know!”

Sunny wiped her mouth wearily and came to her knees to look up into the monitor.

“Ye’re sick!” She said thickly. “Yer mind is broken by grief n’ longin’! If ye’d only come t’ us before ye’d’ve found another friend eventually t’ love…” She paused as a damp washcloth, a brush, and a bottle of mouthwash flashed into being, hovering before her.

“Do clean yourself up, Dear!” Discord urged. “You look a positive fright!”.

How he glared at the rest of us!

“That’s your answer to everything, isn’t it?” He sneered. “Lose a friend? Just make a new one and another and another and another and another.” The image on the screen multiplied itself, new heads springing from his body, each one adding it’s voice in turn until he was a chorus!

“As if that takes away the pain!” He howled. “You Ponies are the sick ones! You make a virtue of grief!” He changed. Suddenly he was wearing a lab coat, a ridiculous fringe of frizzy white hair adorning the back of his head. Reading glasses were perched on his muzzle as he regarded with half-closed eyes the old-style notebook he held in one hand. He scribbled in it with the crystal with his free one.

“It’s all terribly unhealzy.” He concluded clinically in a cheesy Germane accent. “Nein! You should conzider your own verschliggered behaviors before you prezoom to cazt asperzions on mine own! But I feel zat, viz the proper terapy, …” He glanced up sharply as Stimbolt cast a glance at the Captains’ command station.

“Now, now, now, Herr Schtimbolt!” He said patiently, waggling the crystal at the Middie who jumped. “You haff already shown a tendency tord antizocial behavior, ja? Tch, tch, tch! I zink I vill haff to restrain you. No more monkey bizness mit your little toys! Ve haff had quite enough of zat, haven’t ve?” He smiled sympathetically at Stimbolt with lightning flickering in his eyes.

With a flash of light, the young Unicorn was hanging upside-down in mid air wearing a tight, green straitjacket secured with an absurdly huge padlock!

Dazzle leapt at him, trying to pull him down and ended up swinging her legs in futility for her trouble while Sunny watched in dismay!

“Put him down, Discord!” I said as calmly as I could. “What he did was with my blessing. You want to pick on somepony, pick on me!”

Dazzle dropped to the deck, trying to tug on Stimbolt’s’ bound arms. After a few tugs she gave up and whirled on the screen!

“All right, you fruitcake!” She seethed. “Let the kid go! He was just doing what any Starfleet member would do in the same situation! You’ve already started a Goddessdamned war with an alien species! What the buck else do you want!”

Unperturbed, ‘Doctor’ Discord tapped the end of his muzzle thoughtfully with the crystal as he regarded the haplessly hanging young colt.

“Oh, ze var iz only a zide issue!” He waved the crystal dismissively. “Vot iz really important iz der lack of ze… communication betveen us. Ja! Vat ve haff here iz a failure to communicate!” He said decisively and turned his mad, mad eyes on us all.

“You Ponies do not respect me.” He explained patiently. “Everyzing I do, you fight me at every turn! You are all zo caught up in your deluzions of rationality zat nozing I say reaches you!” Pleased with himself, he scribbled a note in his book!

“Zerefore!” He said triumphantly. “I perschribe a radical new terapy! Zince I cannot dischipline any of you, vun uff you will adminischter der dischipline! Ze lezzon is driven home mit such force und clarity! I am brilliant, ja?” He tapped his chin meditatively with the crystal as he considered us.

“But vich vun vill it be? Vich vun….”

“Forget it!” I growled. “Like I said, pick on me! Leave the others alone!”

“Nein, nein, nein!” Discord waved me away. “To pick you vould only feed your already overdeveloped Martyr complex, ja? Und zis vun…” He indicated Sunny who was rising to her hooves, fighting off the advances of both brush and washcloth. “Iz zuch a pathetiker already zat ze benefitz vould be lost on her as anyzing else but an obzerver.”

His cold, clinical eyes fell upon Dazzle like glacier chunks!

“Zis vun, I tink!” He pondered for a moment then nodded, pausing to make another note in his book. “Ja, zis vun vill do nicely!”

“Guess again, Belfry-Brains!” Dazzle gave Chaos the Universal Salute! “Like my Pa always said, ‘I wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire!’”

Sunny fended off both items with one hoof each!

“Wait!” She said. “Why not Stimbolt? What’s th’ Laddie exempted fo-glarghh!” The mouthwash had zipped in and hosed off her mouth! She coughed and spat!

“Drop this idiotic charade, Discord!” I stepped up to the screen in the desperate hope that if he couldn’t see the others he couldn’t do anything to them. There was a flash of green light and I suddenly found myself standing on the far side of the room in the doorway of the Bridge!

“Herr Schtimbolt, Frau Doctor, iz in ze nature of an object lezzon.” Discord lectured. He turned his gaze on the helpless Middie.

“Und… like I zaid to anozzer… he’s earned zis! Zey both have.” He added darkly. His eyes snapped to Dazzle and he gestured impatiently.

“You! Come here! Schnell! Look at me vhen I talk to you!” His eyes bored into Dazzle’s sternly.

“NO!” Sunny yelled. “Dinna look in his eyes! He’s-” Sunny gagged and fell to all fours again, choking on a lungful of astringent mouthwash.

“Dazzle! Turn away!” I thundered with all the lungpower I could manage… the volume surprised even me!

I sprinted toward the Chief, fully intending to body-block her to keep her out of Discords’ line of sight. But as I took the first step I flipped forward as the grav plating suddenly shot up to at least five gees, doing The Worst Shoulder Roll Ever!

I picked myself onto my aching elbows just in time to watch Dazzle fall under Discords’ spell!

She didn’t go stiff, she didn’t even flinch! Instead, her face went utterly calm as she stood straight as casually as if she were getting up to answer a call. She turned to look at Stimbolt with no particular expression on her face at all. As if she were doing nothing out of the ordinary, she walked up to the struggling Middie.

Discord, still in his cockamamie mode, cackled!

“Mein Fuehrer! She can valk!” He waved his crystal like a bandleader’s baton and actually began singing off-key!

“Oh, ve’ll meet again! Don’t know how! Don’t know vhennn…”

Dazzle drew the balefire pistol from her jacket and adjusted the settings…

“Dazzle! Dinna do it!” Sunny screamed as best she could.

“Dazzle!” I bellowed, struggling to rise to my hooves.

“Starry….?” Stimbolt wriggled helplessly as Dazzle extended her arm and took aim.

“But ve’ll all meet again…” Discord’s cracked voice cackled on!

Dazzle stopped three feet away, her pistol centered on Stimbolt’s chest.

“NOOO!” Sunny shrieked.

“Dazzle!” I yelled.

“Don’t…” Stimbolt got out.

“Vun sunny dayyyy!” Discord put all his lack of heart and soul into the finale.

Just as her finger tightened on the trigger, an awful awareness dawned on Dazzle’s face… but the rest of her was firmly in Discord’s control!

There was just enough balefire set to cauterize the neat three inch hole that passed through Stimbolt’s body. The blue-green beam lasted for barely a second and transfixed him like a butterfly on a pin, blasting a pockmark in the wall behind him before snuffing out. Stimbolt was already gone by then.

Comments

[Alicorne]

2925492 Well, you have to admit that it makes the character more titillating! *Bites lip and struggles not to point out the pun!*

She is an Augment and one designed on a large chassis, to boot. It didn't seem unreasonable that, given the range of shapes and sizes inherent to any species, the genetic dice would sooner or later roll out a particularly well-endowed Mare!

I wouldn't say it was a prejudice as much as it is a predilection! Woo-Woo!

[Alicorne]

2888001 Eyup! That's what I based the game on! Give that Pony a Golden Tribble!

[Darth Wedgius]

Ouch! Discord's gotten rather nastier in his old age.

[meerkat8472]

Holy buckets of Kentucky Fried Gorn!!!!! What have you done Discord, not Stimbolt. Oh and poor Dazzle, she's going to be in therapy for a long time.

[Tony Flash]

2923285
*chuckles* inevitably, the funny ones commeth.

thank you...from the bottom of my stomach.
*the peg with Captians' braid bows, and hands out free chocolate*
so, starry...any cute guys on Equestris?

[Tony Flash]

okay, this is creeping into grimdark and Cupcakes terror-tory, dude. even Q was never this pure cackling mad evil

[Alicorne]

2934414 Mad yes, evil no. ...But we none of us are what we were in the beginning, no? (4 out of 5 voices in my head agree!)

Minor tragedy on this end, folks! My rusty-trusty old computer gave up the ghost 36 hrs. ago. The prognosis is terminal hard-drive failure. I'm over at a friends' house to post this. Keep yer digits juxtaposed that I can find a replacement one! (Dang Winblows computers!)

[Alicorne]

2926782 It's a 'guy' thing!

[Alicorne]

2615825 She was bi but was really quite gay... which didn't sit well with the majority of the Colonists. Sunny has taken her under her wing and 'straightened' her out!

[Alicorne]

2926784 Eyup! It's ironic that I rail against all the Trek Revisionism... and then create this alternate reality! I never claimed to make sense, I'm just having fun!

[Alicorne]

2964567 In our world the Scots are ancestors of the Irish. As above, so below.

[Alicorne]

2965096 Really? (And I'm so fond of both!)