• Member Since 6th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 2nd, 2012

Laurence Brown


E

Having trouble making friends, Princess Luna decides that using some magic might be just the thing to help her out. Things don't go as planned, however, when the spell she casts gives her some unexpected results.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 81 )

SO glad to see this fic here, one my of favorite early Luna fics! :heart::heart::heart:

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i remember this and have little doubt thisĀ“ll make a feature

I loved this story when I first read it. I may just need to read it again.

I enjoyed myself. Thank you.

8

yay! I love this story. It was on ff.net isn't it?

193630

Yea, that's where it was originally posted. I'm glad to see it here though. Favorited and 5 starred already.

Oh I love this story! It's awesome to finally see it here!

may I ask why this is already on the front page? It only has 450 some views, and 4.5 rating. Not hating or anything, but I know stories that have a lot more views and better ratings and they aren't on the front page... Just sayin.

194093 Well all stories that a recently loaded to the site go to the front page, and I think if a story such as this which has been featured on Equestria Daily and FanFiction it gets noticed alot faster and even if thats not accurate its still a great fic.

194124
Was not aware this was on EqD. That explains it, I suppose.

Yes, already tracking this :pinkiesmile:

An amazing fic, really liked it.:moustache:

silly nightmare moon
the whole goal of every pony's life is to
JOIN THE HERD!!

Are you going to be moving "Phases of the Moon" as well? :pinkiehappy:

poor feather down
kthanxbai

"sometimes a lie is easier to take"
ten internets to whoever can tell me who said this quote
kthanxbai

Great story, I enjoyed your description of earth pony magic and its effects.

i enjoyed a lot
stayed up to late to finish it
wont regret in the morning
kthanxbai

Yes. My 2nd favorite Luna fic is here now. Sweet :yay:

Luna what have you done? :lunagrimace: Undo, undo, undo.

Seconded finding this herd is the best best thing I have found online. I love these awesome stories. I love Luna, don't take her immortality away plz.

So many new friends. I'll soon need a list, shouldn't there be an oc list somewhere? :lunasmile: Let's PARTEH!

Rating 4.8 :twilightsmile:
Now I can go to sleep. :ajsleepy:

Luna you don't need to throw out who you are to be happy. Magic and wings are all icing on the cake. And Celestia still needs you as her friend. Eternity is a long time to go it alone. Tia needs your friendship too.

Time for Luna to use a different spell!

aliteration power up!
"TeakettleĀ“s transformation tome" picked up!

194993
Yes, as well as everything else I've written for FiM. Although I suppose a better term would be copy, since they'll still be up on fanfiction.net (which is looking older and older every time I log on here).

And wow! Talk about coming home from work to a surprise! I had thought, sue to this story having been on EqD and ff.net since last April that it would get just a couple hundred views; nope, over 2k views in under 24 hours! All I can say is thank you for finding my writing worth the time to read. It truly is an honor, being a part of this fandom.

Amazing writing mr brown but something bothers me a bit , on nightmare night which happens after this i think chronologically luna keeps referring to herself as "we". Since the story seems to follow episodes in a seasonal pattern i was wondering how you would handle it if the story went on further with nightmare moon becoming part of luna once again.

keep up the good work.

" "Moonbeam... I am..."

Luna's heart was beating so fast, she thought it would burst from her chest.

"I am jealous of you, and I'm sorry!" "

Facepalmed so hard my nose started bleeding.

Sorry Luna, you must assume the resposibility that fate gave you, Equestria needs it's princesses back.

Very nice, good writing too. It was a little confusing at first when it took place chronologically speaking and it doesn't quite fit into canon, but it's close.
I really like the story.
:twilightsmile:

One line of dialog and Pine Needle is already my favorite character in this story.

That took guts. Soon NMM will find joy and peace as Luna finds it within herself.

195934
Your avatar is fantastic.

Amazing story! Very glad you brought it over here so more could read it and enjoy it. I just feel in love with the charaters and couldn't put it down!

198013
I found it on google... yep, its amazing ^^
(look at fluttershy! my flutters is amazing!)

Pine Needle is probably the first oc in this story that I have given an actual voice to.

SPOILER ALERT!!!
This is in my usual "comment as I read" feedback style.

"why, I'm the one who has lived the majority of her time in control!"
-Interesting... not the way I think of it, but no reason it couldn't be that way. I also wonder if you have NMM as a separate personality that is still inside her, rather than an external influence that was destroyed/cast out entirely, in which case this is just her mind working things out... perhaps in a more explicit way than most people's dreams work, since she may, in fact be the Princess of Dreams.

Not to meddle with anyone thoughts, of course,
-Ok, so she is smarter than "Case Nightmare Dusk" Twilight in "Lesson Zero".

but maybe I can do things to help others out!
-I would have thought that that would sorta be part of the job description of "Princess", certainly Celestia seems to be very very busy with running the country... admittedly the "only" major thing she does with her magic is raise and lower the sun (and the moon) and most of what she does MIGHT not be very personal (Twilight Sparkle excepted of course), although she did seem to take a fairly direct hoof with the Apples in "Family Appreciation Day". Point is, unless Luna hasn't quite gotten up to speed enough to fully be taking her sister's offer of "rule together" she SHOULD already be doing plenty of Good things, just not with her magic, and not in a one-on-one way. I also wonder if this is pre- or post- "Luna Eclipsed", if you have even included that (this is a very long series, and you may have started it before that episode came out, and elected NOT to re-write). The staff fleeing from her could just be THE ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE in action.

A disguise! Everypony can't help but see my evil side when they look at me as Princess Luna, but what if what they saw was a different pony?
-Been done before... because it WORKS. Look forward to seeing how you run with the idea... then again, most of those are about ditching the "Princess" part, not ditching the "Ex-Omncidal-Maniac" part.

Then I could make some friends, and after they got to know me, I could then let them know who I am!
-Actually, this brings up the point as to what the virtue of "Honesty" means precisely... but even I would say that this is legit, and of the six Equestrian Virtues I would say that Honesty is the one I rank highest in.

Washing it down with a small cup of water levitated to her by her magic, she gave a small sigh of contentment from the delicious meal.
-Water? Delicious? Must have different tastes than most humans... then again, she probably grew up in historical eras (not AN era, eraS) where truly pure water was... no, wait, I am thinking of humans. Having fresh water on tap any time you want it is as simple as having a clean barrel, a very large funnel, and a single pegasus on retainer. Come to that, she could probably summon up her own raincloud without needing to have somepony else do it, unless she matured in magic during her banishment, and what we saw in "Luna Eclipsed" was her naturally using powers she had grown into during that time.

Oh!" Mrs. Hardback said to a cream colored stallion that had just walked up with a book to check out.
-Well, at least he isn't hanging back until she leaves, and is even willing to risk interrupting her.

This brought a snort from the stallion waiting behind her. "Why do you want to know? Looking for secrets to help you get revenge?"
-He should get his testosterone levels checked before she (or her sister) lowers them by violence.

Then, make sure I take some money with me, and head off to Ponyville, that's close enough for me to reach without too much trouble.
-Apparently she doesn't know any good invisibility spells? Wait until night and then cloak herself in liquid night? Because otherwise I can't think of why getting almost ANYWHERE would be "trouble" for her, unless she is so out of shape that she can't fly very far at a stretch... Ponyville seems a very odd choice for her if she is trying to maintain a low profile given Twilight's naturally inquisitive nature, plus Pinkie Pie's wild-card status. Shoot, just the fact that they held her "Welcome back from being Pony-Satan, we missed you." party there makes it a singularly poor choice as far as not being recognized.

Worst comes to worst, maybe I can ask Twilight to help me out.
-Eh, there is that.

Teakettle's Tome of Transformations?
-Based on Arthtrott's comment, I am assuming something goes fairly wrong (the story description mentioned something of the like too). The change from illusion to Transformation seems problematic enough to be promising in that regard.

Having long ago lost the patience to read every word, she instead scanned for certain phrases that she knew indicated that the instructions for a spell were about to be described.
-And thus probably missing the precautionary paragraphs for said spell...

And most importantly, the book with the disguise spell.
-At least she has the whole book, and not just a copy of the relevant pages... which also means when things go wrong she will be able to quickly read exactly how she erred.

Worn out from flying farther than she had ever remembered doing so before,
-Ah... too many chariots, and not enough flying under her own power... Interesting contrast to my versions regularly fly up to orbital altitudes, and when my version of Celestia talks about "Sun Bathing" it is a joke on the normal use of the term, and means that she is teleporting (or, to use the previous-generation-specific term "winking") over to her own personal ball of fusioning plasma to go for a dip. Variety is the spice of life.

but the steady chirping of crickets in the area helped her to fall asleep much faster than she thought she would have.
-Why would she be sleeping during her normal shift? Should have noticed this earlier. Or do you have her keeping a daytime schedule and just getting up for a few minutes if necessary to raise/lower the moon during the summer months when the nights might be less than 8 hours long (or would that require a Canadian time latitude?).

'Getting carried everywhere on those cloud chariots sure got my wings out of shape!'
-Chariots made out of clouds? Or does that just mean a flying chariot? Also: "As I thought!"

she was really starting to hate briar patches that seemed to take up acres,
-Again, quite a contrast with my version, who considers micro meteorites smaller than 1 millimeter in diameter to be "sparring ammunition" (think paintball or Air-soft) for use against her sister.

"It looks like it takes almost a minute to cast! That must mean it really is a great disguise!"
-Or comes with a boatload of "side-benefits"... wonder if it will remove her magic, and thus her ability to dispel it? Or maybe it will put her body into hibernation while she ends up possessing the body of an Earth-pony?

The ball of magic descended to land gently before her, a small gemstone looking for all the world like the moon in its full glory.
-Ah, so probably more the first, and the gemstone being required to return her to her original form... cue her accidentally selling it by handing over the bag and telling the person to just give her the bits for any one of the stones. Actually, probably not that bad, but we shall see...

196292

About all I can offer in my defense for how it fits into canon is that, when it was written, season two had not been aired yet (heck, season one was just entering the homestretch; I want to say early 20s for episode numbers?), and that I also gladly went with the fact that the show itself had no concrete timeline; if the show it self was going to play the winter episode before the fall one, why that gave me almost total freedom on what happened when.

Now, the big question I face is, do I want to try to make my story mesh with 'Luna Eclipsed'? As of right now, the answer is no. Especially considering that, where I am on Moonbeam's sequel, that since I'm past when Nightmare Night would happen in story, it would be near impossible to make things line up without it either coming across as desperate or invalidating everything I wrote in the story beforehand. So, I'll happily settle for the fact that my once 'explain where Luna was during season 1 canonically' story is now a 'divergent universe' story. Mind you, I'd like to think that it is still very close to canon, and I'll do my best to keep it that way too. But because of 'Luna Eclipsed', things in story will never match up perfectly with events in the show.

199558
If you ask me, your story should stay as it is.
It's a great throwback to old Luna fanon, before she was revealed.
A little piece of fandom history, if you will :twilightsmile:

The rent is too damn high!!!! :moustache:

Din

I quite liked this tale. And as for the Cannon options, I always saw Cannon as more of a guideline for personalities and the like. Also because MLP is fiction in its self so writhing fiction about fiction cant make your story any less true. This is a great timeline you have written and regardless of what the Cannon will do this story will still be a good read. I don't think the story should change, keep writing how you envisioned it to go because that's what I want to read. :scootangel:

Loved the story. I think Luna should've stayed in Ponyville though. Not like she was needed. Thx for the good read.:twilightsheepish:

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