• Member Since 15th Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen May 12th, 2013

Patched Pumpkins


E

The orphanage was safe, and at least Emma had one person she could trust. But Canterlot is different, and now that Emma is separated from the only person she can trust, Emma must forge new relationships, but not everyone wants to friends.

1st person.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 15 )

this... I like lets see some more.:scootangel:

The concept is nice, but there are many grammar mistakes. I shall upvote, for I like it. But you should really get an editor :twilightsheepish:

Sorry used all my cruelty up with the last guy meh what can you do and Yea we like waffles

Not bad, not bad at all. My one main nitpick is that you may want to lower your characters age a bit, as some orphanages stop at sixteen. It's not a big problem, it just hurts my suspension of disbelief a little. Also, I couldn't help but notice Discord in the tags, and depending on how you use him could be a continuity snarl. (Example: Reformed Discord - Cadence not ruling the Crystal Empire.) Overall good quality, I'll be watching this.

Please make another chapter soon, I am very fond of the story so far.

Now this has potential! i shall be adding this to my read later list and if it continues to hold to my expectations i shall fav and upvote!:twilightsmile:

This is a neat concept, I'll give you my follow and like and I'll see where this goes.

Keep up the great work. I love where this is going.

2429329
Thanks for the critique, I really appreciate it. Discord's position is pretty vital, and I don't think he'll get the whole story in a tangle, but I'll make sure to be careful, thanks.

2429018
Right, thank you. I was fearful that I might get complaints about grammatical errors, I read through it, but obviously not enough, I'll see what I can do.

As for the rest of you, thank you all for the compliments, I appreciate it.:twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Worm-revolver deleted Jul 20th, 2014
Comment posted by The sprawl infectors deleted Jul 24th, 2013

Oh my this is good
At first I was like bleerg :facehoof:

Now I'm like Yay :twilightsmile:
Don't stop :twilightsheepish:

Login or register to comment