• Member Since 17th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen Nov 14th, 2017

TwiliDragonRin


T

What if Twilight was an alicorn from the beginning and hasn't even met the other Mane 6 ponies yet and she feels the pain of loneliness. Twilight wants to commit suicide, but will a yellow pegasus stop her from attempting it?
A little what if fluff I wrote a while ago.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

That was beautiful :twilightsmile:

not bad....not bad at all.....:moustache:

Very beautiful. I will say that there's a little inconsistency in your writing between past and present tense, but otherwise it's lovely.
:twilightsmile: :heart: :yay:

Nifty little story. It's always interesting when people try the whole, "what if they had never met" thing. Even better when they succeed, like you have here. Bonus for it being a TwiShy :heart:

Anyways, wonderful job

2534619 why thank you ^-^ I love the "what if" stories and I wanted to write this for my special "fluttershy" if you know what I'm saying :twilightsmile:

A bit late for a comment, but screw timeframes.

I very much like the concept behind this story, but there were a significant enough set of errors that made it difficult to truly enjoy. As aforementioned by 2425749, you were quite inconsistent between past and present tense. That's what I like to call The Doctor Syndrome. When in doubt, go with past tense. <3

Also, the dialogue seemed a tad bit off to me. I (having been to that dark place) would know this best, because some of the things Twi said just didn't line up with the whole "I'm about to kill myself" prospect. She was too... Acquiescent. She backed out too easily. Or at least... Tried to.

<3 DarqFox

Screw timeframes! Great. Not my type of story but I like it

This was a beautiful story. I really liked it. :twilightsmile:

Do you... understand what the term fluff means?

A story about a suicidal protagonist is... not fluffy. It may be lacking in real content, but fluffy indicates a lack of conflict or characterization or... really much of anything. Fluffy stuff is lighthearted. Nothing with the tragedy tag is ever going to be fluff.

This.. this could go on. please say you have a sequel. :raritydespair: PLEASE! but over all it was a good story :twilightsmile: Loved it! :yay: yay

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