• Published 13th Apr 2013
  • 6,949 Views, 274 Comments

Roses are Red - hell00001



Lilo the changeling must decide for herself whether or not love is real or just a chemical reaction.

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Chapter 14: A Fresh Start

Roses are Red: Chapter 14

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Lilo’s eyes slowly opened, revealing a glimmering white ceiling above her traced with intricate flowers and vines. The vines wrapped around each other in spiral patterns, weaving in and out of the variety of flowers that smiled down below them. Their smiles were met with a skylight that had been placed in the middle of the room, allowing for a healthy quantity of light to radiate into and illuminate the entire room. The sun was lowering itself in the sky, announcing that the night was fast approaching.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

She was alive. Lilo saw the light from the sun; heard the heart rate monitor; felt the sheets that had been laid over her. Her whole body ached, and she blinked as her thoughts raced through her mind. She had not woken up in that cage beneath Zumas’s brothel. She had not woken up to find that she had a searing hole blasted through her limbs.

Lilo bolted upright in bed, nearly tearing several of the tubes that had been hooked up to her body. A unicorn nurse, who was holding a large clipboard in her magic, took notice of Lilo, and after her eyes widened for just a moment, she dropped the clipboard and bounded over to the changeling. She laid her hoof on Lilo’s chest, gently pushing her back onto the bed.

“Y-you should lie back down, miss,” the nurse said, her hoof shaking slightly when Lilo had been pushed back against the bed. “Your c-condition is still in bad shape.”

“Where’s Carbon?” Lilo asked frantically, looking at the nurse.

“Carbon?” The nurse levitated the clipboard back over to her and scanned over its contents. “Oh, um, he is j-just in the next room.”

“Can I see him?” Lilo stared at the nurse with her large eyes.

“I-I’m sorry, miss, but you can’t-”

Several knocks on the door echoed into the room and the nurse froze. Her head snapped back towards the door, then she looked back at Lilo and tried to give her a half smile. She set the clipboard on the desk that sat between Lilo’s bed and the heart rate monitor.

“Please excuse me for a moment,” she said.

The nurse trotted to the door and opened it, and after giving a sharp gasp, she stepped out of the room quickly. Lilo’s ears perked towards the door as she heard several voices speaking to each other beyond. Her brow furrowed when the minutes dragged on, and she tried to lift herself up out of the bed again only to find that more pain was coursing through her body, forcing her to remain lying down. Her gaze shifted from the door to the window on the far side of the room, allowing for her to look out onto the entire city of Canterlot.

Lilo’s eyes widened. She knew exactly where she was.

The door to the room pushed open, allowing for the nurse to enter again, shortly followed by Princess Luna and Queen Chrysalis. Lilo’s breath caught in her throat, and against the rest of her body’s wishes, she lifted herself up into a sitting position and lowered her head at Chrysalis.



Chrysalis interrupted Lilo by laying one of her hooves across the changeling’s chest. She offered a hopeful smile, sending anxious flutters through Lilo’s heart.

“There is no need to apologize,” Chrysalis said, “not now. There is somepony that you need to see.”

Lilo’s eyes drifted to behind Chrysalis, regarding Princess Luna warily. The princess stared at the changeling back, but her face remained vacant of any expression aside from the dark bags underneath her eyes. Chrysalis moved her head enough so that she could obscure Lilo’s view.

“No, somepony else,” she said. She slowly rose to her hooves. “Do you think you can walk?”

The nurse lifted her hoof to protest, but she found it pushed back down by Princess Luna as she shook her head. Lilo moved her hooves, cringing as she felt sharp pangs from her cracked chitin pierce through her body. She slouched against the bed once again, looking sullenly at Chrysalis.

“I... I don’t think I can,” Lilo said quietly. “N-not without help, at least.”

Chrysalis took the bed sheets and slowly slid them off of Lilo’s body. Her eyes traced over her subject’s wounds, and she paused. Lilo saw something flash through Chrysalis’s eyes, and she saw the corners of her lips droops.

“This never gets any easier,” Chrysalis muttered. She then sidled up to the side of the bed and began to gently pull the tubes hooked up to Lilo off of her body. “If you are able to lift yourself out of bed, I will help you walk to our destination. It is not far.”

Lilo nodded, and she lifted herself from the bed once again, wincing as she heard her own chitin cracking in several places. She slid her body sideways once she was sitting upright, then pushed herself off of the bed onto all four of her hooves. She immediately slumped against Chrysalis while her legs shook violently to support her own weight. Chrysalis lowered her head and brushed her muzzle against Lilo’s cheek.

“That’s right,” she said. “Now, can you take a few steps?”

With Chrysalis acting as her crutch, Lilo took a few unsteady steps forward to the door. Each step shot agonizing jolts through her legs and back, but she pressed on until Chrysalis had to open the door for them to continue. Outside the door, a group of nurses and doctor’s passed by them, chatting amongst themselves while one held a clipboard in their magic. The white walls burned Lilo’s eyes, the sunlight’s reflection bouncing off of them as it passed through a few open windows. After a moment, they turned sharply right, then came to a stop at the door next to Lilo’s room. Chrysalis’s horn lit up, and she pushed the door open.

Carbon lay in the bed in the far side of the room, an oxygen mask covering his muzzle while tubes were connected to his unbroken foreleg. His other leg was wrapped up in a cast that spanned all the way up to his shoulder, which wore a flexible splint. Medical tape was wrapped around Carbon’s head. His eyes were closed, resting peacefully to the rhythmic beats of the heart rate monitor next to him.

A sob caught in Lilo’s throat, and she nearly stumbled onto her face when she tried to bound over to Carbon. Chrysalis righted Lilo, and after giving her subject a sharp glance, led her slowly over to the bed. The trip across the room was tormenting, almost as if each step was longer than the last. His bed could not approach fast enough for Lilo, and it took all of her might to not break into another gallop. Each step towards the bed burned her legs, but she didn’t care as she was brought closer and closer to Carbon.

Once they were at the bed, Lilo collapsed next to Carbon with her forehooves sprawled across his chest. She buried her face into his side, muffling her sobs so that they were barely loud enough for anypony else to hear.

Princess Luna and the nurse shuffled in after Chrysalis and Lilo, taking their places next to the door. The nurse walked up behind Lilo, making sure that she had enough of a distance between herself and the changeling queen. She coughed, and scanned over the clipboard she once again held in her magic.

“He’s... He’s in stable condition,” the nurse said, “but he is currently in an induced coma. During transport to Canterlot Castle, Carbon experienced a condition known as status epilepticus, having a seizure that was caused by a cerebral aneurysm.” The nurse flipped one of the papers over on the clipboard. “His medical records state that he has a history of high blood pressure, and has been prescribed calcium channel blockers to help regulate blood pressure. We’re thinking that combined with the adrenaline rush and neglecting to take his medications was what caused the aneurysm.”

Lilo lifted her head slightly and asked, “H-he’s healthy, though, right? He’s going to be fine?”

The nurse flipped over another paper on the clipboard. “Because his broken foreleg was not treated immediately—and because it had suffered prolonged use after it was broken—he will permanently walk with a limp. Other than that, however, he will be just fine.”

Lilo smiled even as tears continued to flow down her face. Carbon was going to be alright. She was going to see him again, with his eyes open and full of intelligence and happiness. They were going to go on more dates, visit more beautiful monuments, and dine on delicious food. She was going to have somepony sleep by her side, snuggling up next to her and protecting her from the dangerous memories that could slip into her dreams.

Carbon had risked his life in Equestria when he flew onto the stage after Lilo during Chrysalis’s trial. What he had done was considered an act of treason according to Equestria’s laws, but he ignored them regardless, instead throwing all of that away so that he could help her defend the mother she had looked up to her entire life.

In the alleyway Carbon had risked himself again, ignoring the malicious warnings from Zumas’s thugs and rising up each time he was knocked down in an attempt to protect her. His foreleg was broken for his attempts, and Lilo thought that Carbon would accept defeat after that.

However, contrary to what she thought, Carbon had come back for her in force, infiltrating Zumas’s brothel and attempting to escape with her upon his back. He defended her and himself against the nasty Falchion, and then again when Zumas was upon them, ready to blast his magic through their heads.

Carbon had done everything in his power to keep himself from losing her.

Princess Luna stepped forward, taking her place next to Chrysalis’s side. She cleared her throat.

“If it is any consolation to you,” she said, “the owner of the brothel, Zumas, has been taken into custody and is currently occupying one of the cells down in Canterlot Castle’s dungeons.”

Lilo didn’t respond, instead keeping her head buried against Carbon’s chest. Princess Luna sighed, and after procuring a letter from underneath her wing, placed the letter on the nightstand next to the bed and left the room. Chrysalis soon followed, rubbing a hoof upon Lilo’s shoulder before departing. The nurse remained a bit longer, watching Lilo lie against Carbon, before she, too, left the room.

The sun began to set behind the treetops of the Everfree Forest, plunging the entire land of Equestria into an orange and yellow haze. Lakes and rivers shimmered and reflected the sunlight, while the many red rooftops of Canterlot darkened. Even the thin clouds that hung over the Everfree were touched by the sun’s light, shifting and changing colors to all sorts of beautiful oranges and pinks. Lilo’s sobbing had long since stopped as she stared beyond Carbon’s bed and out the window.

“I love you, too, Carbon.”

Author's Note:

Thanks for reading.

Thank you Redracer for editing.

If you have any questions about the story, feel free to send me a message or ask in the comments section below.

Comments ( 71 )

I don't want to be that guy, but… Sequel?

2673088
I'll be the shameless one! Sequel?! If not... What about a side story where Sky "collects her payment"?

2673134 2673088

Sequel is planned! Check out my blog post for more information.

Oh, and any clop scenes that I write out will be made in a separate Google Docs Document.

2673294 You just made my YEAR.

I just squeed SO hard.

This was an amazing story my friend! Gave me as my friends call it 'The Feels'. Excellent job and can't wait for the sequel! :raritywink:

2674831

PLOT HOLE. SHHHHH. DON'T TELL ANYONE.

2673294 looking forward to it. :pinkiehappy:

Well thank YOU for writing.

This is one of the better stories I've read in a long time!!!

2705809 2724637

Thank you both so much! :twilightsmile:

SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL SEQUEL

Ok, so first off this is a great story and I'm sorry to have only just come across it!

Here's my complaint: If your gonna end on this note, you need to add the "SAD" tag! I WAS DECEIVED!! I CAME FOR FEEL-GOODS AND I LEFT WITH FEEL-BADS!!! :fluttercry:

Other than all that nonsense, great job! I do hope you make a sequel, or I shall forever have you on my "hit list" :trollestia:

2905590

Aw, nooo! The ending is supposed to be happy feels! I write too much sad stuff as it is. :fluttershysad:

2907117

I find this hard to believe... I mean, the whole set-up for the last chapter was a "sad end". Maybe you just reverted to your old writing habits? Here's what I mean:


SPOILERS:




So, when Lilo wakes up, Chrisalys makes the comment of "this doesn't get any easier" (implying bad news). Then when Lilo sees Carbon, the nurse says he will be physically fine (great, good stuff...) but it isn't known when he will wake up. Now here is where the sad end is... the tone and style you use (at least to me) implied that Carbon doesn't wake up... Lilo's love is alive, but only as a vegetable. Luna even goes on to say "if its any consolation..." which would imply that Lilo suffered a great loss. It wasn't until I read your blog post that I realized that you actually didn't intend to keep him this way.


For what it's worth though, I think this fic was great (I just didn't personally like the ending). And I think it's also under-rated as far as the whole "like-rating" thing goes. :)

2909319

Ah, yeah, I guess without knowing about the sequel it might look like the ending of this fic is quite sad. It was never really intended to be that way, like I said, but it depends on different people's perceptions. I felt as though the ending was best suited for the way the fic was written. I'll consider adding the sad tag. :twilightsmile:

2912205 Well if he wakes up... why don't you write an epilogue chapter with them getting married or something?

3028725

Marriage, kissing, embracing each other are all superficial aspects of love in my eyes. I wanted to leave the reader a lasting impact of what love is, not what love can bring. Things like that are best left up to a reader's imagination or a sequel. Adding things such as marriage in would just make me look as though I'm trying to leave a warm and happy feeling in those that have reader this story rather than sending a message. :twilightsmile:

3100051

Oops. How did no one catch that after... months. Thanks!:twilightsmile:

you my good pony, have mad me cry. thank you for the excellent read look forward to the sequel.

3122572

Knowing that my story has made such an impact even on one person is really encouraging. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

I wondered what Lilo looks like when she blushes.
Dose anyone else wonder the same thing?


It is a wonderful story, and I will happily await the sequel. Favorited, Followed. :ajsmug::rainbowwild:

3217263
There is already a sequel.
Violets are Blue.

3221693
I like your reaction.
:rainbowlaugh:

Huh, this was pretty good but... I do have a couple of issues I want to get off my chest. :ajsleepy:

Firstly, Lilo has been feeding on Carbons love for days and she gets taken down that quickly? I expected more of a fight out of her considering what was on the line for her and she wasn't starving like last time. Not necessarily wiped the floor with them but at least put up a fight now she has the power to do so and considering where she comes from it seems inappropriate to say she simply doesn't know how to fight a little. :twilightoops:

The other thing is a bit of a personal irritation but it seems like ever since I watched 'How to Train your Dragon' the cliché of having your hero permanently disfigured at the end has become vastly overused. Writers shouldn't feel like they need to hand out crippling injuries just to create cheep extra sympathy for characters. :ajbemused:

Otherwise? This was a good read and one I'm a little ashamed to say I've put off reading for a while. While cheesy in places it didn't go overboard like a lot of romance fics do. It certainly left a smile upon my face and a warm fluffy feeling where it counts. Well done and best of luck. :twilightsmile:

Now if you don't mined I have to get started on that sequel you writing. :raritystarry:

3418021

Thanks for your short little review! Still learning as I go so I appreciate all the feedback I can get. What's a romance story without at least some cheesiness? :twilightsmile:

3418473 Indeed. And glad yo appreciate it, I certainly appreciate the story. :pinkiesmile:

3572854

I have to admit, if there is anything that I'm actually proud of writing it's that bit right there. :twilightsmile:

3711106

There wouldn't be any fun in writing a story if all of my readers could guess the entire story from reading the description and looking at the cover art, right? :raritywink:

Hmm, what was in that letter?

3901559

Funny you should mention that because I actually had a lot of inspiration from An Affliction of the Heart to write Roses are Red. I agree that everyone should read that story.

4006141

I've always seen her as a motherly and wise figure. Someone who you'd look towards for advice should you so need it. Sort of like a compassionate queen. I've never seen her as a princess or a ruler, although no doubt that those are part of her duties.

And DONE! Shit, that was a ride, wasn't it?

Overall, really enjoyed it. From the tension to the caring to the building of the relationship to the kiss that sealed the deal, it was all put together quite well. Well done!

4247308

Glad you're enjoying it. And I kind of always through changelings being able to transform into other creatures entire too... outlandish. Too much energy would be required, I'd imagine, and I can't help but feel that they would be stretching their bodies to crazy and unreal sizes if it was anything bigger than them. :twilightsmile:

:facehoof: has any one read affliction of the heart? because this it almost the exact same story.

4387617

An Affliction of the Heart was my inspiration at the time. Looking back on it now, this story could have been written far better with less direct parallels to Anonymous Pegasus' fic. Oh well, live and learn. :trixieshiftright:

4389823 every thing is a lessen but nothing is perfect.

Funny how I missed this story because I filter under 40000 stories lol


Found it now x)

4769856

I believe that RhymeZone would consider that a near rhyme, but it does work.

*Claps* Well all in all it was a fun story to read and I enjoyed almost every moment of it. Except for that climax with the trial, it was good. I even think your climax with Zumas was well done. I mean, it wasn't something amazing and over the top yes, but I don't really think someone like Zumas deserves such an ending. No, I thought his end was written very fittingly. Though the chance that they would run into Sky and she agreeing to help them was something of a stretch, but I like to think most ponies are good natured. And these evil little ponies that worked for Zumas simple were the exception. Honestly, they fought a war with pies for crying out loud! Sorry Zumas, you're in a world where fairy tales do come true. Happens when you're a colorful pony. :P

Anyways, if I haven't said it before I'll say it now. You've got my like and my interest into the sequel. I'm also gonna check out Sky's stories as well, so you might have sent a reader to ya friend! I like Sky's character, she was fun. Wonder if they'll actually do that threesome... She was kidding about that, right? Hehehe..

Quaver Ava

4963200

Thanks for the review! :twilightsmile:

I'll admit, I'm not really as proud of this story as I was initially, and I consider it subpar compared to what I do now. Lots of errors and mistakes, plot holes, hastily written scenes, that sort of thing. It does have over 2,000 views, so I guess that has to count for something, but I'm not going to endorse that this is well-written.

Even so, I'm glad you enjoyed the story! However, I kind of warn you that Violet's are Blue is more lazily written than this one. The problems in this story are sort of amplified in that one, and I don't believe I successfully concluded the story in the way that it should have been concluded.

4963965 Oh... I read the sequel, or clop fic, and that was... Interesting at least. o///o
But would you say I should hold off on reading Violets are Blue? And instead settle with something else from your archive?

4964195

It's entirely up to you. I don't really have much in my archive that is worth reading, but I could be too critical of myself. Violet's are Blue still seems to be decently received by people, so if you want to check it out, go right ahead. I have another fic in the works that'll hopefully have most of my previous errors minimized, but with school having started up, I don't have much time to give regular updates. So... I'll probably be waiting until the fic hits a certain number of words (around 100,000) and that I feel like I can update regularly before posting it.

4966622 100,000 words eh? That there is a decent book, but it's an impressive buffer. I've always had the mistake of just throwing my story out there before it's ready. Then after a few updates I realize this isn't gonna work out and I have to cancel it. That's why I'm slow to write pony fictions. I don't want to continue to make the same mistake I did with my previous fandom I was invested in. So you'll write about 100,000 words and publish after a few edits, that'll be a pretty impressive tale there. I hope you get it down. And it'll need adventure! Nothing two ways about it, that's gotta have a fair amount of adventure.

If you achieve that goal, think about writing an actual book like that. :P

Quaver Ava

P.S. your icon is overly pretty. :P

4967770

Thanks again. :twilightsmile:

I've already achieved that goal with a series that I was writing, but I stopped literally half way through because I didn't want to write it anymore. It got up to about 180,000 words before I cancelled it. I think with this current one, though, it'll go over much better.

4971132 Oh wow, that's something else. I remember almost completing a book length fanfiction once before I stopped. One of my biggest mistakes as a writer because that tale still haunts me to this day asking why I never finished it. XD

Good luck. Would you mind telling me a little about it through a PM? I know it won't be published, or here if it's pony, for a while, but I'm curious now. :3

Quaver Ava

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