I was aware of the darkness. Not the inability to see. That’s different. This was the visual awareness of darkness. I was fairly sure this was a dream. The only question was, is it just a weird dream or the start of another damn nightmare.
But this feels so much more real. What if it’s not a nightmare? The pulling in my gut put ice in my soul. That same sensation of... oh god, no! No, no, no, no, no! Not now! Not now! Oh god, Dash. I have to wake up. I have to warn her. I have to get you away! I’ll never hold Scootaloo again. I... wait. Hold on. This... this is different. It's the symptoms of a jump without the substance.
The world around me changed from black to an undulating grey to a great ever-shifting expanse of colours and hues and intricate patterns. Images faded in and out. Chaos and confusion. Nothing made any sense.
Yet, I found if I stilled myself and looked, I saw what looked like...a unicorn? Or the shape of one in all that chaos...chaos...then I heard a voice in my head. It was not Luna or the princesses but a deep male voice. Calm, subtle, yet clear. "Good. You took a step back to view the big picture. But it is not their sincerity you should be questioning. And is it the individual parts or the united whole that are important?" It finished with an inquiring tone, like that question was testing me.
Why is Morgan Freeman a voice in my head?
I awoke with a start to find Celestia’s sun peeking over the mountains. I was relieved to find I had not jumped, and I was left puzzled as to the nature of the dream. Still tired, I cuddled with my angel and once again fell asleep.
I was woken up by the sound of a pony knocking on the balcony door. I quickly put on a shirt and pair of shorts, then carefully stepped onto the balcony, quietly closing the door behind me. There, a blushing Derpy looked away and sputtered, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to... I mean, I didn’t realize... I mean, I knew you and Rainbow Dash were... I mean...”
With a chuckle and a warm smile, “It’s alright,” I did my best to hide my discomfort in saying her name, “Derpy. Dash is still sleeping. Is there anything I can help you with?”
“Not really. I don’t think you can fly, can you? Of course not. You’re like an earth pony. You don’t have wings. What was I going to say?” I grew a little confused, “Oh, right. We got a report early this morning of a giant freak thunderstorm. Every pegasus on the weather patrol in Ponyville is being called in to help. I was sent to find Rainbow, and when she wasn’t at home, I thought she might be here. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” Derpy looked away shyly again.
“It’s alright, Derpy. Anyway, you’re family. How could I possibly get mad?” I smiled broadly again. “So, let me wake Dash up and get her breakfast.” I thought for a moment, “Did you have breakfast? You’re welcome to join us.”
She looked down shyly, “No, that’s alright. I had some of the wonderful muffins Caramel made last night. But thank you for the offer.”
“At least have a cup of coffee while you’re waiting. Just come in the back door and make yourself at home. I’ll get Dash going and be right down to make coffee and breakfast. Once she’s fed, you guys can go and save us all from a terrifying storm.”
She suddenly got a very serious expression, sat up straight, and snapped off her best military salute. “Yes, sir!” She flew off with a burst of wind that was noticeably less powerful than the one Dash makes.
I quietly opened the door and crawled on the bed. Dash lay there, her mouth was slightly open, her legs and wings all sprawled out. She looked positively adorable, and I almost felt guilty for doing this. Almost.
Moving carefully, I whispered in her ear, “Good morning Rainbow Dash. Time to get up.” Her mouth closed, a light smile grew on her lips. “Wakie, wakie.” She started squirming, her smile growing. “Time to go take care of that big bad rogue thunderstorm.” Dash’s eyes snapped awake, and she sat up very quickly. Fast enough for her head to impact mine. “Ouch!”
She was laughing, rubbing her forehead, “You goof! Are you okay?”
I also chuckled, rubbing my forehead as well, “I’m fine. No thanks to my own actions.” I heard the door downstairs opening, telling me Derpy had come in.
Dash started stretching, “So, what was that about a thunderstorm?”
“Derpy was looking for you. Something about a rogue thunderstorm. So, you go take a quick shower, and I’ll make some breakfast for you. Oh, and don’t be surprised-” She was already gone.
As I hurried carefully down the stairs, I heard a ‘Hey!’, followed by an ‘Eep!’ then a crash, ending with ‘Derpy! What are you doing here?’
When I arrived in the kitchen, Dash was in an aggressive stance, wings erect, and Derpy was trying to pick up my coffee pot, a look of embarrassment and panic on her face.
“Hey, sweetie, it’s alright. Like I was about to say before you took off, I invited Derpy inside for coffee while you were getting ready.”
A bashful Derpy drew a little pattern on the floor with her front hoof, “Sorry, Rainbow Dash. You scared me.”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t expect you here. So, I guess, make yourself comfortable. I'll go have a shower and be back in a few.”
I bent down to give her a kiss, but her eyes flicked worriedly towards Derpy, and she turned away at the last moment, and it landed on her cheek. “Something quick and high energy? Eggs, oatcakes, and a few hay pucks?”
She looks uncomfortably at Derpy, “Sure, whatever. Just make sure there’s some strong coffee, and I’ll be happy.”
I watched her go off to the bathroom, then went about the task of making breakfast. In an effort to maintain Dash’s happiness levels, I started by making a full pot of strong coffee.
As I was filling the coffee pot with cold water, Derpy spoke, “Alex, can I help? Is there anything you would like me to do? I was going to make coffee, but Dash said, ‘Hey’, and I got startled, and I dropped the coffee pot, and I tried to pick it up, but Dash said, ‘Derpy! What are you doing here?’, and...”
I interrupted the increasingly flustered blond-maned pegasus, “My dear Mrs Derpy Hooves. You are a guest in my home. Your job is to sit and enjoy a cup of coffee or tea. I’ve got this all under control.”
Putting the coffee on to boil, I could hear the shower starting. I grabbed a carrot and some lettuce, broke them up by hand, and put them in Tank’s bowl, along with clean water.
Derpy’s voice was a mixture of awe and maybe fear, “How did you do that?”
As I started mixing some oat cake batter, I said, “Do what? Make the coffee?” I hear the sound of hooves on the porcelain bathtub, telling me Dash is in the shower.
I smirk as she rolls her eyes, “Not that, silly. I mean cutting the carrot without a knife. Do you have cat claws? The kind that goes in and out like a cat?”
I chuckled kindly, “No, I guess it looks like that though. It’s just the difference in the way I grab stuff, more lateral strength, I suppose.”
It was just a simple mixture of oats, flour, milk, some sugar and a pinch of salt. I also started prepping a second frying pan for some eggs. I would wait until after Derpy left before cooking up the bacon. “So, how are things with Caramel, and how is Dinky adjusting to life with a new dad?”
“Just wonderful. There were some rough spots, especially around parenting issues, but we worked them out. And, um, cousin Alex? Since I’m here, I wanted to share the news with my family. I think I’m pregnant.” She giggled, a bright smile on her face. “I’m seeing the doctor this afternoon to make sure, but,” she rubbed her belly, “at about mid-Summer, there's going to be some more love in our family.”
I smiled broadly, “Congratulations!” I also felt something surprising: a burst of hard-edged envy. I prayed it didn’t show. “So, mid-Summer, you say?” She nodded happily. “I never realized ponies were in the oven that long.” I regretted the words as they came out. Derpy looked horrified and started moving away from me, tripping once or twice.
“Oh my goodness! Derpy, that’s just a saying where I come from. ‘Bun in the oven.’ Waiting for a baby is like baking a bun in the oven, get it?” I smiled, hopefully in a calming and amusing way.
Derpy came back to the table. “That’s a really scary way of saying, ‘The seed’s in the soil’.” She once again looked sheepishly at me, “I’m sorry I was so silly. It’s just... I know you’re nice, I know you would never hurt me or any pony, but you’re so tall, and you have all those scars, and I know you won’t try to eat me, but I saw your teeth and...” If it was possible, she looked even more sheepish.
I smiled, dropping to a knee, rubbing the back of my neck, “Yeah, I’m sorry I look the way I do.” She gave me the most sympathetic, heartbreaking look of a mother stumbling onto a sad child.
Before I could say anything else, Derpy shushed me, “Now Alex. Don’t be silly. No one can help the way they look. It’s not like you cut yourself up to look scary.” I winced at this. “ You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself.” She looked down sadly, “I’m the silly one who panicked and upset everyone.”
“Now, Mrs Derpy, being super critical of oneself is my job. On that subject, I’m sorry. For being scary, I mean. And as far as the baby goes, I hope you’ll keep me updated. I’m very, very happy for you and Caramel. I wish your baby well. So,” I chuckled, “silly question. When will you start showing?” Before she could answer, I smelled something burning, “Oops, I need to take care of breakfast.”
A much calmer Derpy, talking about her upcoming bundle of joy, happily answered. “With Dinky, I started showing at six months. How... how long do mares take to show from where you come from?”
I flipped the oatcakes and thought for a moment. “Ann, that’s my human wife, started showing after about four and a half months. Mind you, humans are only pregnant for about thirty-six weeks.” I had my back turned to Derpy, working on breakfast. I was expecting a barrage of questions but only heard silence for the longest time.
When she spoke, there was ice and anger in her voice. “Does Rainbow Dash know you’re a two-timing cheater? Does Ann, know you’ve abandoned her and your foal for some unicorn that’s prettier and smarter than her?”
I choked down my sudden urge to raise my voice. She didn’t know, after all. "I was unwillingly taken from my home, Derpy. And we have no idea how to get me back. I’ve accepted I will never return, which is why I am making a new life here. Do you understand?"
She looked suspiciously at me, “I guess. I’m still not happy with you. I heard you have a magic scroll that lets you talk back home.” Her eyes narrowed, and her voice lowered, “And why Rainbow Dash? She’s not very pretty.”
I smelled burning and muttered under my breath, “Damnit.” I turned and quickly took the oatcakes off the heat then scraped them onto a plate. “Derpy...” I let a long sigh escape, “I love Ann and my two kids, Dan and Lily, but I’ve lost them forever. Not even the Princesses can send me home. Ann knows this. And because of this, she told me to build a life. That life includes Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo. I did not abandon Ann, and I will not abandon Dash.” I raised my voice a little, despite my attempt to control it, “And for the record, Dash is very beautiful.”
In the moment of silence that followed, my thoughts turned to Derpy’s accusation. I was surprised. She was always so chipper, so meek. Yet here she attacked me pretty vehemently. I wonder if...
Before either of us could speak further, my beloved came into the room. She smiled a little sadly at me, “It smells good, Alex. Sorry if I was a little snappy.” She paused for a moment, “And for the record, I think you’re really handsome.”
I dropped to one knee. “Thank you. I didn’t mind. You’re not a morning person.” I made to kiss her cheek. She repositioned herself for a proper kiss. I pulled away and smiled. I stood with a theatrical clap of my hands, “And, so, madam, with the great help of good conversation from our dear friend Mrs Derpy, who I am happy to announce, is expecting a little bundle of joy.”
Dash smiled at her friend and hugged her, “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! That’s awesome. I’m so happy for you.
“I, your humble servant, have prepared breakfast for the hardest working mare in Equestria.” As I started plating the food, I called over my shoulder, “Are you sure you don’t want any? I made lots.” As was normal with ponies, any signs of distress or negative emotions quickly vanished.
Derpy titered, “You keep offering, and I keep saying no.”
Dash chuckled, “You get used to that with him and food. It’s a human thing. It means he thinks of you as a friend. And if he ever offers to share bread, don’t worry. He’s not trying any funny business.”
I couldn’t help but chuckle, “Only with you, dear. Lucky for me, the first time I tried sharing bread was with an understanding friend. Where I come from, sharing bread or any food, really, is an act of friendship. It’s like saying, ‘I trust you, I am or want to be your friend, and I’m even willing to share my food with you.’ Ponies are lucky. You don’t really seem to need that.”
Derpy got a sweet smile, “Oh, that’s so nice, thank you. I... I guess I could have an oatcake.”
“Good, you’re eating for two now.” I serve her a plate of three nice oat cakes and have all the trimmings, pony and human, on the table.
Dash slathers some jam on her oatcakes as I fill her mug. I pause before filling Derpy’s cup. “Um, can pregnant mares have coffee? I don’t want to hurt you or the baby. I can make tea.”
She got that look that told me she thought what I said was adorable. “Of course, I can, silly. Why?”
I shrugged, “Well, human moms shouldn’t drink it when pregnant. But I don’t know anything about mares.”
Between bites, Dash commented, “I wouldn’t say that.”
I snorted, trying not to draw attention to her comment. “Anyway, big ‘ol cup of coffee then?”
Derpy smiled kindly, “Yes. A cup would be wonderful.” She then locked eyes with Dash for a moment and in the universal language of wives everywhere. In that split second, they spoke volumes to each other. Derpy smiled shyly.
With that, I quickly finished serving the meal, then busied myself packing a lunch for Dash. I made sure the two pegasus had a good breakfast, and then we said our goodbyes. I made quick work out of the dirty dishes and got ready for my own day.
Had this been almost any other day, I would have gone straight from home to Sugar Cube Corners for coffee then straight to visit Applejack, but today I was going to linger at the Cube for a very important conversation. I had to ask Carrot for his official opinion.
The familiar merry jingle of the bell that sounded by the door opening made me smile. Behind the counter, the always-busy Mrs Cake greeted me with her usually motherly cheer. “Hello, dearie. Your usual?”
“Not quite yet, Cup. Right now, I need to talk to Carrot. Is he in?” I looked away shyly, “It’s a... personal favour.”
Mrs Cake seemed to be taken aback at my request, “Oh, my, I hope it’s nothing bad. Is it?”
“No, no. Me and Rainbow are adopting Scootaloo.”
“Oh my, that’s just wonderful news, dear. That little Scootaloo is a real firecracker, such a nice little filly. I’d heard some gossip about that, but it’s nice to hear good news from the source.”
“Yes, ma’am, it is. As you likely know, I’m not from around here,” we both chuckled, “so they need some affidavits about my fitness to be a dad. Specifically, they wanted one from Carrot. So,” I shrugged, “here I am.”
“Alex, dear, I’ll get Carrot. Those muffins can wait.”
I had a sudden, inexplicable feeling that I had to apologize to Derpy. “Thanks, Cup. I really, really appreciate this.” Cup Cake paused at the kitchen door, looking back at me with that motherly smile, before heading into the kitchen.
I was a little startled when I realized Pinkie had been standing right beside me. I caught a whiff of her cotton candy scent, and the corners of my mouth rose involuntarily. That girl can just put a smile on your face just by being in the same room. I spoke quietly, “Hi, Pinkie. How are you?”
While I was surprised by her sudden hug, I was shocked by the sadness in her voice. “I’m really sorry, Alex. Really, really super duper sorry. I don’t know about the others, but...” She sniffed loudly. “Some days I wish I didn’t have my Pinkie Sense.”
“Woah, hey, Pinkie. What’s wrong?”
“I’m just sad that I can’t change what’s going to happen next.”
“What do you mean?”
“Tail twitch, shudders, cramp in my left back leg, tail droop, and tickly teeth means a bad review.”
I had heard of her infamous Pinkie Sense but had never encountered it directly like this. “Oh, well, okay. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I totally do, but let’s just see what happens.”
She stepped back, wiped her eyes, and while her eyes were still sad, she favoured me with a huge grin, “Okie-dokie-loki! It’s only one out of three, right? I’m sure everything will turn out just fine.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sure-”
Carrot stepped out of the kitchen, “Hello, Alex. My special Cup Cake says you need to speak to me?”
“You bet, Carrot. As you are no doubt aware, Rainbow Dash and I are adopting Scootaloo. Due to my... alien nature, for the adoption to be approved, I need to get some affidavits as to my fitness as a father. You were one of the people they wanted an opinion from. Carrot, can I ask this favour of you? Not that I thought you would put things in my favour, but there we go.”
He looked at me uneasily, “Are you sure you want me to give you an honest review?”
I paused before answering. I think I see where Pinkie was headed. “Yes, Carrot, I do. Even if I could have chosen my three reviewers in Ponyville, you were the top choice.
He tilted his head a little, “Why me? I’m not a hero or anything special.”
I smiled sadly, “In another life, I was you. Worked at a job I liked, did my best to be a good dad and good husband.” I was lost in thought for a moment, “Lost it all, of course.” I looked up with a smile, feeling hope, “Still, a new life here, right? So, will you do this for me? Will you give me your opinion? Good, bad, or indifferent?”
Carrot considered me for a long moment, “Well, alrighty then.” He went back into the kitchen.
Cup looked at me worriedly, “Don’t worry, dear. My Carrot speaks highly of you. I’m sure he’ll write a glowing report. Here, have a cup of coffee while you’re waiting.”
“Thanks, Cup. Hey, while I’m waiting, I’d like to set up a tab for Miss Sweetheart. Unlimited, payable directly by me.”
“That nice social worker that takes care of foals in need? That’s very generous.” She hoofed me my cup.
“Well, Cup, she does good work with those kids.” I took a sip, and as always, the coffee was perfect. “I’ve gotten a close look at what she does, and I think it will help her treat those kids special. Many of them have had it rough, and Sugar Cube Corners is a ray of sunshine for them. Just, um, don’t tell her it was me.”
Cup looked slightly confused, “So if she asks, who should I tell her did his.”
I thought for a moment, then snickered, “Tell her it was Golden Coins, but he wants to remain anonymous.”
She chuckled, “Oh, Alex. That’s so mean.”
I continued, smiling broadly, “How so? I do a good deed; no one knows except us, which is how I like it, and Coins gets the public credit. Maybe it makes him think about following up with his own acts. Even if he denies it, his is the only name associated with the deed. And the bonus? You get a little extra business.” I thought for a moment, then chuckled, “As a further bonus, it annoys the hell out of Coins.”
Cup smiled in irritation at me, “Alright. But I’ll tell them it was you, you big mean softy.”
I laughed out loud, “Tell you what, leave it anonymous, and I’ll be happy.”
Cup simply chuckled and nodded.
At that moment, Carrot came out of the kitchen with a scroll, sealed in what looked like a blob of cake frosting. With rainbow sprinkles. He placed it on the counter. “Well, Alex, here is my honest opinion.” Strangely, he didn’t make eye contact with me. “Cup, give him his two coffees on the house. And some pastries.”
Cup’s eyes narrowed, “Why the sudden generosity, dear.” I knew the inflection Cup was using. She thought he was up to something or trying to hide something from her. Every husband knew that tone. Part of me was pleased it was directed at someone else.
Carrot shifted from side to side. “Oh, haha. No reason. No reason. Can’t I thank a... a loyal customer?”
I suspected I knew why. I’m not that stupid—still, there's no point in punishing the guy for doing what I asked. “Carrot, thank you very much for the coffee and treats, and I want to sincerely thank you for your honest opinion. No matter what it is.” I put my hand out and maintained a friendly smile.
He gulped in fear. I’m sure I saw his hoof tremble a little. I made sure to very gently shake his hoof and speak only in the softest tones. “Thank you, Carrot. When I said I wanted your opinion, I was serious. I hope it’s positive, but even if it’s not, I’ll always be in your debt.”
Another fine chapter. Glad we could help!
I love this story! Keep it up!
Cause Morgan Freeman is God, that is why he is in your head
Morgan Freeman being god? Seems Legit
Chaotic thunderstorm? still Legit
Pinkie and her twitches? I'm terrified
Nervous carrot? Mother of God...
Good story keep it up!
Hmn, was there something that happened earlier in the story with Alex that Carrot witnessed that would cause him to give a bad review? Nothing is springing to mind at the moment.
Sounds like Carrot is in a lot of trouble with his wife, especially so if his review sinks the adoption.
And here I thought that Lyra was going to be the one to write a bad review.
This won't end well...
Must be hard to be a happy pony that occasionally gets twitches that means something sad is going to happen and you can't do anything about it.
I am starting to get mildly annoyed at his attitude, he seems to be taking it a bit far in how he is so accepting. Most people wouldn't do anything so generously, and even then they wouldn't go as far as to do the things he does.
so derpy gets mood swinged by chaos magic.... or was she serious? it seemed like rainbow coming into the kitchen either broke her from the magic or made her hide her hatred?
also, he got along with the cakes so well, why would cake write a bad review? chaos magic again?....
....... if his chaos magic is starting to effect random ponies around him.... I fear for him when he goes to meet lyra
2240543
It might not have to do with his chaos magic. Remember way back in the story. Derpy has a daughter named Dinky, but who is the original father? So now she accuses Alex of being a two-timing cheater given his circumstances. Wonder what experience Derpy is deriving from to make such a accusation?
It's always the ones you least expect. *Sigh* not that this was particularly unexpected. Great chapter, a few new tidbits for me to extrapolate from. It's honestly kind of strange, more authors than I'd expect paint Carrot in a less than flattering light. But what can you do? Liking someone as a friend and believing they can raise a child don't always go hand in hand. Alex is instinctually a predator, and that would put any prey species at least subconsciously ill at ease. Carrot knows he's capable of violence, and on a purely logical level, giving Alex another avenue for expressing that violence in the only way he's shown he will (the protection of his loved ones) might be a point of argument in his favor. Considering that denying Alex the ability to adopt Scootaloo isn't going to stop him from continuing to love her as a daughter kind of renders that point mute, though.
All in all, Carrots negative review reflects his belief that limiting Alex's interaction with Scoots is in her best interests. He obviously has his reasons, but I'm surprised he doesn't feel that the good Alex could do for her by providing a loving home outweighs the possible bad. Alex is obviously a man of good moral character, a constant friend and able to provide for her. I understand that tension is required in any story, but argh, such betrayal is untoward, and will require a reckoning. not so much a reprisal, but an explanation at the very least. Making decisions out of fear is no way to live your life, or be a good friend. A reckoning, good Mr. Cake.
A reckoning! Hmm, now that I think about it, Mr. Cake better watch his ass. Rainbow is not going to be too particularly enthused with him when she finds out about his words about Alex. It's not just Alex's chances of adopting Scootaloo that Mr. Cakes recommendation is possibly torpedoing.
i think i may be reading to much...
one story im reading has like 10,000 word chapters... now this feels like a short one
That's "pegasus"
Dashicorn, all of a sudden?
2240543 You should already be afraid of him meeting Lyra
2241913
Will fix the spelling stuff, thanks!
Derpy's ex was a unicorn, and she's projecting.
Bless you for the quick update.... but now I need more lol
I'm glad i got to read more of the story.... but i admit that i feel like this chapter is short.
2241026
that could be the reason but.... i find it odd that she suddenly snapped from being out right rude like that to being her usual kind bubbly self.
and i find it really odd that mr. cake would review him badly, they seemed to get along well and hes always been great around kids.
2242116
normal lyra is scary already. but if you read lyra's report story, she seems to have given up on him.
chaos magic affected lyra? my mind is to scared to bring up ideas for that.
Well then... at least we know next chapter's going to be interesting.
2242464 The report or her diary?
2242577
Lyra's Notebook
I saw this coming from Carrot a while back. It may not be a good review but it does give perspective on how the neutral parties in Ponyville (Namely the parents) see Alex and if they think he will be a good father, not just a good person.
I'm going to go out on a double limb here that the bad review from Carrot and Derpy's initial reaction to hearing that Alex still has a wife waiting for him back home are closely related to each other, or the other bad review is really about the freak thunderstorm that Derpy and Rainbow Dash just went through.
Missing something here.
You see that is a problem that pinkie sense usually manages to solve. The key to knowing the future is NOT knowing enough detail that you can not change it. In this case she knows it is a poor review and hence she cant change it, unlike if she knew something were falling where she could move you out of the way. If she knew something was going to hit you then she would be unable to do that.
wait... what unicorn?
2255253
It will be explained.
But here is the explanation: Derpys first husband left her, and she's just projecting.
2258557 ok.
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/33841741.jpg
WELP!, my guess is that Carrot is being in some way, coaxed into giving a bad report by some third party. Either that, or that report isn't even his at all.
I have a feeling that karma is gonna have to slap a bitch somewhere along the line here. I hope it's not Coins though, cause I thought they had already settled their differences for the most part... It might be his nanny...She hates Alex.
Can't wait for the next chapter! Keep it up!
This chapter intrigued me
what the hell i thought mr cake would have gave him the best review what reason does he have to give a bad one
2380998
I'll be answering that in chapter 42.5 (it will be a mini chapter with future Scootaloo, grand kids, etc.) but in a nutshell, Carrot is worried about Alex being violent. He thinks his skills, instincts, and weapon he carried with him everywhere, and well as his mental state (60 years of running scared can't be good for your mental health) all combine to make it too much of a risk. Logical, really.
2382395 yea logical but i bet his wife isnt happy with that so he might be a little blue for a bit aww did they remove the emotion things from comments now
2403183
That makes me sad. :|
2403183
Also, yeah. He might be blue anyway. Twins? One is tough enough on a woman, but Mrs Cake popped two out. Mr. Cake is not getting any action for about few years...
2403458 lol
Well, after finishing this story, here is my opinion:
I reeeally like how Alex has "improved" senses in comparison to the ponies, and how they act as in a cartoon. That behavior really made me laugh sometimes.
I like the character of Golden Coins. I don't know why, he is fun to read.
OH MY GOD STOP F****** APOLOGIZING!
I'd like to see more obsessed Lyra. I know some is coming, but you didn't exploit her much.
I liked how you made Alex interact with the alicorns. Quite unique and also hilarious.
With Dash and Alex I would be able to make SOLID LOVE! AND MASS PRODUCE IT!
Why do all fanfics I read have a character called Alex? Is this some kind of conspiracy?
Why did she have to fall from Cloudsdale? WHY!??!! *cries*
All in all, I had loads of fun reading this. Are you going to rewrite it all, or continue?
TL;DR: Good.
2565466
Thank you for reading!
I will be continuing the story, just putting the final touches on the next chapter. And there will be lots to Lyra coming up.
P.S.: I love writing Coins. He's not effective, at first, but if you piss him off enough...
P.P.S.: Writing the Alex/Dash love is easy. I just pretend it's me and my wife. (Dwaaaaa)
2568204 Well, don't go selling solid unstable love to the Russians, they could destroy the universe with that :P
2583520
I have a busy work schedule and I want to keep the quality, so writing is slow.
But, I do have good news!! The next chapter should be ready this weekend! Just waiting for some awesome new art.
2583520
I blame old age. I didn't see you wee in Chapter 10. It gets better. Much better.
Well done, you kept me occupied for an entire day! I love the story so far. Liked and Faved
Here is what Alex should do as his duty as a knight of Equestria. He should educate Carrot Cake about those that protect Equestria. Carrot should go up to every guard he sees and tell them they are unfit to be a parent.
Carrot knows he stabbed a loyal customer in the back and he should be ashamed, the sniveling worm.
Wow coins probably gave a good review while Carrot gave a bad one, talk about a dozy...
Huh. You brought up a very interesting thought as that is something that, to a species without fingers, would appear as if you're cutting something, albeit roughly, with nothing! Facinating, makes me wonder a bit what else about humans ponies would be facinated by that the average Brony or FIM reader doesn't take into consideration.