18 - A hard working stallion
I was wandering back home, still a little upset from the prank. Lucky for me, I had a very understanding friend. Had I done that with a stranger, I suspect the result would have been... unpleasant. I had to calm down before I met with the Flim Flam brothers, clear mind and all that for the meeting.
I'm sure Dash meant it as a joke, and I'll have to take it like that. She couldn't know how much it would bother me, and I knew she wouldn't have hurt me on purpose, would she? You know what, I'll send her a message and invite her for dinner. We'll have a chat and sort it out. Anyway, I've never had dinner with just Dash before. I'm sure it was just a prank, and we'll have a good laugh. That's all it was, just a prank.
I walk into the front door of the little building known as the Ponyville Post Office. Behind the counter is Derpy, sorting mail for the day. I felt uncomfortable addressing her by her name, even though there were no negative connotations with her name here. “Miss Derpy? Is it possible to send a note to a pegasus who is, say, in the weather patrol and working today?”
“No problem. We do that all the time!” I happily handed her the note, paid my bits, and continued home with a clear mind.
I had coffee, tea, and a few baked goods ready for our meeting—no point in not being a good host. I sat quietly, waiting for them to show up, reviewing my notes. The time passed: 1:00, 1:10, 1:20. It would be annoying if they just took off with my cash. Five grand is still five grand.
I could hear some crunching on the gravel, and if I strained my hearing a bit, I could hear the Flim Flam brothers whispering to each other.
“Are you sure this is the place Flim?”
“As sure as I can be, Flam. Not very swanky for a pony with bits.”
There was a knock on the door, and I called out, “Come on in, gentlecolts, join me in the kitchen.”
They sat nervously on the other side of the table. I made it a point to not say a word and counted to three in my head, then looked at the clock. “One twenty-three. It is an inauspicious beginning to our business relationship. Still... tea, coffee, baked goods? Help yourselves.”
“Now, you must be wondering why, in the wide, wide world of Equestria, I would hire you. Well, you're not thieves or crooks, but you seem to have a real talent for being resourceful, and I can respect that. I'm going to assume you know your way around this world. You know people, places, and things. Would that be fair to say?” They nodded in unison. “In the short term, you have one task. I need you to help me find a performer who may have fallen on hard times. Her stage name was The Great and Powerful Trixie. I don't know if that is her real name or not. Just get me the information as to her location and real name. I want to contact her myself.”
“In the long term, you will be my roaming agents, looking for talent all over Equestria. Why do I need this? Simple, I am building a theatre and need entertainers of all kinds.” The brothers looked at each other and seemed relieved and interested.
“So, if this sounds like rewarding work, and you wish to join me in this enterprise, we will figure out the details of your compensation later. If you're not interested, keep the five thousand as a gift, and we will part company with no hard feelings. Do you need time to discuss this?”
“As we said before, Mr Alex Roberts, the Flim Flam brothers are in your employ.”
“Outstanding. Oh, and call me Alex. Now, I'm just curious: where did you get that cider-making machine? Did you guys build it?”
Flam leaned back with a confident grin, “Well, Alex, we were in Fillydelphia, running num... er, providing a valuable wagering service to the community. One fella bet his mobile cider-making equipment and lost. Flim and I decided to try our hand at honest work, but old habits are hard to break. So, when we saw what was going on at the Apple farm, we thought we could beat them at their own game. You know the Apple family?”
I sat back, arms behind my head, leaning back on my chair slightly, “Oh yes, very good friends of mine. Applejack, that's the pretty mare with the hat, told me there were no hard feelings. I made sure she was okay with me hiring you guys. She's a good judge of character, and I trust her. That's why you're at my table.”
I was making supper when Dash came in. My heart still skips a beat when I see her, she's so damn graceful. I didn't care what she did; seeing her right in front of me was always breathtaking. Oddly, she had a scrunchy in her hair and maybe it was my imagination, but her mane and tail seemed a little more straight and tidy than usual. Once she came close, I detected a scent surrounding her—a nice one.
I smiled and teased her a bit, “Miss Rainbow Dash! Do I detect the scent of lilacs? Because if I do, I must say it is most pleasing. So Dash, who's the lucky stallion?”
Dash finished drinking one of the salted sarsaparilla shooters I had prepared. She smiled, blushed a little and gently hit me on the shoulder, “I just wanted to show you I clean up good,” she laughed.
We soon settled down to the nice dinner and talked about our day. I told her about the meeting with the Flim Flam brothers and how pleased I was with the results. Dash was complaining about one of the weather ponies, Ditzy Doo. It seemed she was always making the same mistakes. It was telling when she mused, “I almost wish Derpy Hooves was on the weather team again. She may have random accidents, but at least they're always different accidents.”
By now, I wasn't upset about the perceived prank, but I did want to get her back. Juvenile? Maybe, but what's good for the gander is good for the rainbow goose. Anyway, Dash loves a good prank.
My tone was jovial with a genuine smile because this part was true, “Hey Dash, I want to thank you again for letting me examine your cutie mark. I really think we're closer for it. Honestly, I've been thinking about it all day.”
She had a little smile and a hint of blush, “Oh? That's great. I was hoping you would.”
Focusing on my dinner, I continued, “Yes, it was a fantastic piece of advice. I dropped by Twilight's this morning, and I asked if I could check out her cutie mark.” I glanced at Dash, and she had a growing shocked expression, “It's so complex, I just had to touch it. You know the weird part? She sent Spike out to run errands and locked the doors. Then she turned the lights down low. Well, that was annoying because I wanted to get a closer look at the little stars on the outside of the big ones. Anyway, Twilight fixed that by lighting some candles all around us.”
By now, her expression was complete jaw-dropping disbelief. “And then, get this, Twilight asks to touch my cutie mark.” With exaggerated frustration, “Well, I had to explain to her, again, that I don't have one, and she said, and I quote, 'Oh, a blank flank, how exotic'. I mean, if I didn't know better, I would say she was coming on to me. But why would she do that?” I did my best to keep an expression of beatific innocence. Dash looked at me, unable to speak.
In the silence, I found it impossible to suppress my smile, and then I snorted, “Okay, Dash, okay. I never went to see Twilight. I did see Applejack, and she filled me in on your prank. I have to admit, it was a good one.” I turned to face her.
She looked confused, “What prank?” I cocked an eyebrow at her while I played with the food on my plate. Her expression became one of confusion and worry, “No, seriously, what prank.”
“The one where I'm thinking that checking out a mare's cutie mark wasn't intimate. Thank goodness the first flank I checked out was Applejack's. She cut me some slack. Any other mare would have bucked me into next Tuesday.” I pinched the bridge of my nose, “I'm usually okay with anything you throw at me, but this one hurt Dash. It just reminded me how alien I am around here. I know you just meant it as a joke, and I know you would never hurt me. Damn it, you're my best friend after all.” I opened my eyes and was taken aback by her look of hurt and anger.
“Okay, fine. What I said wasn't exactly true. What I should have said is it's okay for a special friend to do that.” She snapped, “I'm sorry if you're my special friend.” Does she think of me as her special friend? I sit in disbelief, mouth gaping.
Dash's expression softened. She used her hoof to close my mouth gently. “I'm sorry I hurt you, Alex, but I'm no good at all this emotional stuff. I'm a mare of action, not talking and feelings and stuff.”
“I can honestly say I have never had a beautiful female of any kind come after me. Not even Ann, truth be known.” Dash seemed to relax. I examined the remains of dinner on my plate for a moment. “Let's sit on the couch and talk, okay?” I sat and waited for her to join me. She sat beside me, closer than she usually would.
We sat in silence for a full minute. I examined my socked feet. My thoughts were confused and conflicted. This sort of thing had never happened before. Dash finally broke the silence, “You know I watched you working on Applejack's farm the whole afternoon and most of the night. You put so much effort and care into it and had nothing to gain. Heck, it might have been faster if Apple Bloom had done it. That was when you became my hard-working stallion.” I turned my head and found myself the recipient of a kiss. And then I remembered the note, just before the Sisterhood Social. I can't say I fought the kiss too hard. I tasted salt and sarsaparilla, and I have to admit it was nice. She broke the kiss to get a breath. Her expression changed to one of embarrassment, her cheeks glowing red.
I stammered for a few seconds. “Wow. Um, didn't see that coming.” I smiled, but my brain was peddling like mad like the serene duck on a calm glass pond. “Dash, this is crazy. I'm not even a pony." How on Earth can she be attracted to me if I'm not even the same species?
“Alex, I was special friends with Gilda. The outside doesn't mean anything to me. I know you. I know what you're like. And I've fallen for you, Alex. I want to be part of your life. I want to make a life with you.”
“Dash...” I sighed. How can I shoot her down but keep her as a friend? I was glad she did this in private, with no public humiliation. “Dash, if I were a pony, I would be all over you. I... I... damn, that's not what I meant to say. I don't know what to say.“ I couldn't look at those perfect eyes without faltering.
Rainbow Dash pulled away, anger crossing her face. “So, what?” she sniffed, “I'm not good enough? I'm not pretty enough? Is that it? Do you want me to paint myself up like Rarity? I'll do it!” Her eyes were getting moist. “Is it Ann? Is that what's bothering you? We had a good long talk the last time you left your laptop at Twilight's. She said she would be happy if I were with you.” She wiped her eyes, “She told you to make a life, Alex! Why not make that life with me?”
I went to touch her face, to comfort her. She swatted my arm away, almost dislocating it at the shoulder. I cried out. I was happy she didn't break anything, but there was going to be one hell of a strain.
Her hooves were at her mouth, a pained, frightened look in her eyes. “Oh Alex, did... did I hurt you?”
I chuckled, rubbing my shoulder, “Hell hath no fury like a mare scorned. I'm okay. Just a ding, I'll be fine,” I lied. “Anyway, I earned that.” I dropped my head, closed my eyes and sighed. “I would love to be with you. The last time I talked to Ann, she even hinted as much, now that I think about it. But... but, what about the community? I mean, Ponyville has more or less accepted me. There are still ponies who would dance in the streets if I left tomorrow. And I'm sure a few would dance if a dragon ate me. I...”
Her cheeks were streaked, her voice breaking, “I don't care, Alex. I don't care about any of that stuff!”
I continued, wanting to say my peace. “And if we do make a life together, what about kids, huh? Unless some unicorn has some insane kick-ass magic, it won't happen. And if it does happen, what will they be? Pony, human, something in between?” I was pleading, begging, trying to dissuade her. I didn't want to saddle her with the likes of me.
She was angry, “We don't need to have foals. We... we can adopt.”
I continued quietly. “And what about your dream? What would the Wonderbolts say, huh? No matter how talented you are, no matter how good you are, if you have a human for a coltfriend or husband... it's just... being anything other than a friend would doom you to a life of being an outsider.” I felt my vision obscured by tears welling up from the joy at Dash feeling like this, at rage that I can't have her, in sorrow that I can't think of a solution, for despair for Dash's sake, and in terror, I may lose my closest friend.
Her voice spent, she whispered, pleaded. “I don't care about the Wonderbolts. As long as I have you.”
I leaned over and hugged her. I whispered in her ear, “It would be so unfair to you. You would give up so much. I don't belong here. You know that I'm already damned. I just can't hurt you like that. I do love you, and that's why we can only be friends.” I paused a moment, letting the lump in my throat relax a little. I managed a hoarse whisper. “Please don't hate me.”
She broke the hug and held me at arm's length. She leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I could never hate you. Never. You're my friend first and anything else second. I understand you must be... conflicted... give me a chance. Think about it.”
“Okay. I'll need some time to really think this through.” My gaze lingered on her eyes, those beautiful, confident eyes. “Tell you what, next week we'll meet for dinner again, but we'll meet at the cafe we had lunch at before my accident. No matter what happens, no harm, no foul, ok?”
I snorted, smiled, and started to laugh. “One more argument. I don't think I could compete in the, you know, bedroom department. There's an expression back home, 'hung like a horse'. Let's just say I was never accused of that.”
Dash began to laugh. “You goof!” and she taped me in the sore arm. Ouch! But I would not tell her that.
The trademark confident smirk of Rainbow Dash came back, and it slowly changed to a sultry smile. “Here, let me give you a little something else to think about...”.
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Bah. Hang EQD. Don't get me wrong, they're a useful source of basic information, but I'll gladly admit their standard appear to be .... uneven. I don't even go there anymore, really, 'cept to catch the episodes as they come out - our sattelite provider's service here is .... dodgy...
The Story is good as it is. No need to rewrite it.
If EQD wont post it, they don't deserve it to be posted on their site.
I love the Story as it is and to read, that I have to wait for 4-6 Weeks for new Chapters, just because they don't approve this beautiful piece of fanfiction, makes me really, really, sad
229531
I'm glad you enjoy the story as is. The pre-reader just pointed out some fugly stuff and it's gotten under my skin. To be honest
I just want to get them to approve the story just to annoy the pre-reader. 
However, I will be writing a few more chapters, just more slowly.
Please do not take a hiatus. I greatly enjoy this 'fic.
229811It will not be the same without the story
I shed a single manly tear
this story is beautiful
awww, but he will reality jump in 60 years and thats means he'l eventually leave have to leave RD and Scoo- er the foal they adopt, but i have no idea how long a pony could live for.
"I'll be taking a hiatus until mid to end of March"
Instant untracked, maybe I will find this later... but meh.
Good story anyway.
233734
After some thought, I decided to continue updates, just one every week or two.
Also, I've figured out the rewrite will be extensive enough that it will effectively be a new story and will be getting it's own title.
235519 So, what do you mean "effectively a new story", will it be this story but with a different plot? If so, would we then need to essentially reread the story just to catch up or would your rewrite actually make it into a separate (but parallel?) story line? Just some thoughts and possible concerns of mine. Nothing meant to be too deep.
p.s. I bucking LOVE this story! Its hard to describe it but the whole story just seems so...so right. And awesome, did I mention awesome? Personally, I don't think a rewrite is necessary but, hay, you do what you have to. I'll manage to live with it.
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG HOLY BUCKING BUCKITY BUCK BUCK! WOOOW! I have read incredible fanfics. This is beyond incredible. Reading it's like... Being around Celestia. :D It's my style of book in my genre mixed with MLP. This is amazing! I hope you finish this as big a book as you can make it, and then make a book/books about all his other adventures, however long it takes! (His non-MLP adventures really interested me)
This is awesome.
PS: Happy endings aren't necessary, but I like them. :P And also, it sounds like you're really busy, so no rush!
256739
I have a few possible endings in mind (chapter 100? until I get bored?) all good, if not happy.
Anyway, I'm having a good time writing it, and you're having a good time reading it, so we both win.
So as I said before, your variant on the workings of the multiverse is terrifyingly similar to my own O_o Truely astoundingly similar.
I love this story so much. Is it part of an already written series? As to the quality, top notch good sir/madam. I believe beyond a few typos I ran across, the story doesn't need any real rewriting to be Daily material. Maybe a few more words for blushing, but that's about it.
264236
I used my mighty telepathic powers to probe your mind and steal them!
I'm glad you enjoy the story.
As far as the rewrite goes, this version is staying as is. I may rewrite (again) the first chapter. It can use a little work. BUT, the EQD version will have a different name and different assumptions, but the story will stay basically the same. I'll keep updating both stories. I'm having fun with this one and enjoying the process (with awesome beta-readers).
It's not part of a written story as much a little mental game I've been playing in my head for 30+ years. The old one most of us play, what the
would I do if I was in THIS fictional reality. I wanted a "plausible" way to get him to Equestria without sending him to Equestria, if that makes any sense. 
So, this was the best I could come up with.
This was my first fanfic, and the first fandom that actually inspired me to write.
265330 I'm a bit surprised that you didn't lol.
I know the feeling all to well. For me, it's not so much of a mental game as a mental... I wouldn't say illness, but something less than healthy. It's a running thought in the back of my mind, that the universe works this way, and that I have the power to jump, I just don't know how to use it. Its the basis for my first fic, which is on here, but moreso the basis of an entire series that I have planned, hopefully to give it some rest. Thank you for inspiring me to know I'm not alone in my thoughts, even if yours are from a more natural place :) Keep up the good work, and I look forward to the chapters to come.
229477 I agree whole-heartedly
Are you going to describe the love scenes, or just hint at them?
~Jack
"I managed a horse whisper. “Please don't hate me.”"
Freudian Slip.
346593 FINALLY someone else noticed it! I'm still not sure if it's intentional or not, but I like the amusement it brings me so I don't care
The first kiss! Finally! Loving the slowly building love-story.
Oh... my. Shield your eyes, kids.
i haz happehness!
I woke up 3 hours earlier to continue this fic, I'm not regretting it.
264236
Muliverse dang another player of the multiverse i was gonna go there with the idea of Pulling Twilight in Pandoras box but im absoultly horrable at starting storys
YOU. MUST. FIX.
Love the story, but don't like the fact that the ponies have god like strength
seems a bit overkill
1121794 Maybe, instead of the Box, use the Pandorica.
I think you mean 'hoarse' XD
4030509
Thank you so much for spotting the error. I have corrected it and look forward to your future comments.
However, I will let future Techogre worry about it.
Awww man, the feelz.
Love her damn you! Dx
Nice chapter.
Missing a space.
Of course you didn't.
She all but drew pictures saying she had feelings for you you oaf.
6748274
To be fair 70% of guys are that dense. And 15% of whats left are usually sleeze balls. Just sayin
8220936
The other 15%? They are of the wrong orientation.