• Member Since 23rd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 16th, 2019

CivilWarPony


Here's all you need to know about me. I am a college student, I love history, video games, music, writing, reading, and drawing. Also I am a Civil War reenactor. Need to know anything else?

T

Two months have changed Airborne's life forever. He uncovered the final fate of Rainbow Dash, who was sealed in a crystal tomb for two hundred years. Now he must journey across the Equestrian Wasteland and find out what happened to the greatest team of fliers in Equestria's history the Wonderbolts. But time is running out as a new threat looms on the horizon, Airborne must travel to the blasted ruins of one of the first cities to fall in the War that shaped Equestria's fate forever and uncover what happened to the Wonderbolts as both toxic wind and abundant enemies close in for the kill. Will Airborne be able to finally find the Wonderbolts or will they forever be lost to the Equestrian Wastes? In a race against time itself Airborne must find out the whether this mystery has an answer once and for all.

Cover art by Turtledude.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 36 )

Well, it's nice to see old muzzles, Soarin, RD, Wonderbolts, yes. But your interpritation of "post LP" central Wasteland is just spoils the impression. Again all old crap, radiation, ghouls, raiders, slavers... I understand if all this happens beyond Equestria's borders. But how you make it.. Dunno.
Anyway, you should write more of it. I like this characters. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by CivilWarPony deleted Apr 17th, 2013

2439592

I am really glad you like my story and the characters therein, I tried really hard to develop characters that people would like after reading Kkat's amazing story. So thank you!!!!

Also I figured that even though things are starting to return to normal in Equestria, that not every area would have recovered as fast given that for two hundred years there has been no law and order. So it would be common place to have ghouls and raiders still roaming around in those areas that have yet to return to normal, also given the effects of the War, Equestria might not ever return to normal after experiencing nuclear fallout.

But I am glad you like the story so far and I will be posting more of this story later this week so stay tuned!!!!:eeyup:

I think this is going to be a good side story but right now I'm reading like five other story's so I'll read this later

2442953

What do you think of my story so far?

this is really good keep it up:ajsmug:

2587961

thanks, glad you like it!!!!!!

Good 'action' chapter. Dunno. :ajbemused: It's add nothing to story, actually. Better if there will be only Sunrise in story, really. Then It would be really intresting to read. I really do not give a fuck about plot. Red Remnants, or Wonderbolts, what the meaning in all this crap, if your character are not developed. No details, no atmosphere.. Story is story, it is not gameplay. Now, after you killed Baleout, all what last in story is stupid shooting to 'bad ponies', and RainbowSoarinSpitfire as decorations. :ajsmug:

2652713
Hey, It's still good enough fic to read! Combat scenes is good. And your writting skill are really not bad.
You just choosed not right 'direction' for your fic from begining.
Anyway, when people write, they becomes better writers to write something better in future. So write, I will read it anyway. And find some cover. Stories needs covers. At least something. :twilightsmile:

2655772

If I knew how to make one I would in a heartbeat. Unfortunately my artistic skills are really poor, and I don't know anyone willing to make one for my stories.

2655772

Do you know anyone who might make me a cover for my story?

Couple of comments on this chapter:

but I did her stories of her actions on the battlefields

I think that should be hear. You don't need to call them battlefields, you can just say the 'battlefield' or "actions in battle". Battlefield would be understood to be anywhere that there was a battle.

Also, you might want to do a tad bit of formatting, having all the text lumped together is uncomfortable to read.

Calamity smiles looking at his bandages saying, “Thanks for for uh patchin me up. You must be Airborne, I cannot go anywhere without somepony talking about you.”

You probably don't need the 'saying' there and if you drop that just use a period. Sometimes you don't need a comma there. In this case, it's because you would've made a stand alone statement. It's a bit unnecessary to announce what he's about to do. I'd also recommend shorting that 'cannot' to can't. Also, I'm of the opinion, personally, that when you leave off the last letter of a word for some kind of accent you should put a ' on at the end.

Kinda of sad, the present state of affairs. I think pony intelligence has been addled, they should just have beaten it out of town once their explosives went off. Uhh, wasteland, how screwy you are.

One of the Red Remnant ponies mounts a large anti-aircraft gun swiveling the large barrels up towards the Wonderbolts, then firing at them, big black clouds explode next to Soarin who barrel misses getting torn in half by the shots from the large gun.

Just some changes that seem appropriate to that sentence, below:

One of the Red Remnant ponies mounted a large anti-aircraft gun, swiveling the large barrels up towards the Wonderbolts, then fired at them. Big black clouds exploded next to Soarin who barely missed getting torn in half by the shots from the large gun.

The issues is that you're talking about in a past tense way, but writing in a sort of present tense.

2804126

thanks for your feedback. I made the changes you suggested on both of them. I was wondering if you know anyone who could make a cover for my stories.

You need to start making new paragraphs whenever someone else talks it makes it easier to read.

3322107

If you could aid in that I would be grateful.

3328915

Nope, I am working on another Airborne Fanfic right now.

3331775

Fallout Equestria which was created by Kkat is a crossover between MLP and the Fallout video game series. There are many fanfic's based on the universe she created thus they are crossovers between the MLP and Fallout.

3332520 Not really, they're more dealing with an alternate universe future of MLP, so all it really warrants is an alternate universe tag.

FoE fics have no need in 'Alternative shit' or 'crossover" tags. Seriously. FoE IS SETTING. You no write using MLP and Fall settings, you use FoE setting. It in story's fuckin name. My opinion. :scootangel:
YaY story is complete! Congrafuckintulations! :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by La Barata deleted Feb 9th, 2014
Comment posted by CivilWarPony deleted Oct 27th, 2013
Comment posted by CivilWarPony deleted Feb 9th, 2014
Comment posted by La Barata deleted Feb 9th, 2014
Comment posted by CivilWarPony deleted Feb 9th, 2014

This chapter, of the errors I spotted, this one was pretty amusing.

As Airborne leaves Rainbow Dash’s office she says, “Please be careful Airborne we cannot afford to lose you” Airborne nods and replies, “I will be Rainbow Dash.”

I will be Rainbow Dash! Yes! Yay!...

Seriously, though, you need a comma in there between "be" and "Rainbow Dash". I'd also recommend inserting a comma between "Airborne" and "we" as well as contracting "cannot" to "can't". There are two statements (in this case they appear to be independent clauses) in that sentence, "Please be careful Airborne" and "We cannot afford to lose you". You could probably use a semicolon to separate them, but it might be overkill.

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