• Member Since 7th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 28th, 2018

FrozenPegasus


T

Sweetie Belle is in a coma. The nature of her condition is known, but the surrounding context and circumstances remain a mystery - a mystery Rarity will stop at nothing to solve, despite stress and insomnia pushing her to the very edge of sanity. Following a plan she can no longer remember, she must face her own demons and dive ever deeper into her fading sister's subconscious, though nothing could prepare her for the truth. A story about family, sacrifice, and acceptance.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 30 )

Aw yiss new story. Expect a proper comment with thoughtful dialogue soon.

That ending, kind of reminds me of this:

Comment posted by SuperPinkBrony12 deleted Apr 12th, 2013

2416290 welp, now I don't need to read it.

2416550 Or actually you do since someone deleted my comment. :twilightangry2: (I think it was the author. If so then someone's getting a thumbs down for being inconsiderate)

2417436 wasn't trying to be inconsiderate. The comment had a big spoiler in it, and as people seemed to be seeing it before they read the story I figured I'd remove it to be considerate to other readers. I appreciated the comment and support itself though. Hope that clears things up. :twilightsmile:.

2417597 Still feel like you kind of blamed me for people not reading it. Well it's a really long fic and I can't be held responsible for the actions of random readers.

O_O U WROtE LEZ PONIES! I KNEW I RECONIZED YE!!

Y'know, I generally enjoy your work and respect you as a writer, but in the future would you kindly ask me my fetish before you rape my feels? Give me some time to brace myself, close my eyes and think of England sort of thing? Thanks a mint.

All my hugs. Seriously - all of them. A hundred billion million trillion quadrillion hugs. This was good.

Comment posted by Zytharros deleted Apr 13th, 2013

Thy princess enjoyed this story...( and maybe cried a little)

GODDAMNIT WHY ISN'T THIS IN THE FEATUREDS
I'M JUST GOING TO SIT IN THE CORNER AND CRY NOW

...So.

Ahem.

Give me just a second to gather my thoughts.

I don't want to exaggerate this, and I don't want to skew the message of your story or the impact it has on both the characters and the reader. This title palpably shook me. Having read through a lot of your other work up to this point, I thought I would be a little more prepared for whatever you had in store than I actually turned out to be.

It, uh...it really hits close to home, you know? And I can imagine it will do that for a lot of readers. And, if I assume correctly, you as well.

All emotional impact aside for just a second, I wanted to praise the dynamic you built between Rarity and Sweetie Belle and the cast that surrounds them. I've read other fics that try to share the bond felt between family and all of the baggage that comes along with it before, but I don't think I've found one that does justice to the kind of heartstring-tugging you managed to show us. The kind of relationship between people - or ponies - that love each other unconditionally and act based on that emotion isn't something that's easy to express in words, and I congratulate you for doing it so elegantly. It's a plus that the main character's archetype fits with that theme so flawlessly (generosity and selflessness), and it makes it all the more believable.

To be fair, there's still a handful of errors here and there that could get cleaned up with another quick proofread. Little things like missing words or punctuation. They're sporadic, but jarring when you're so captivated by the story. Whatever; I started caring about stupid things like grammar less and less the closer I got to the end.

And the end...Jesus. That hurt. Thank you for making it hurt. Is that weird? Maybe. But hey, life is pain. Anyone that says otherwise is selling something. And it hurt beautifully.

Your epilogue wrapped things up nicely, and gave me just the right glimmer of necessary hope that helped the little softie inside of me step back away from the edge at the last minute. Life isn't fair, and neither is death, but there's more important things to worry about than what should or shouldn't be. We're still here, and there's something to keep living for in all of us...and in everyone that's passed.

Great job.

Wow. That was written beautifully, tragically. It was moving.

Ooooooh...... Guh... You... you almost had me. I almost burst from that song and this one part.

… “Sweetie?”
No answer.

I think I need to go lay down or something....
-Silver Quill

I was more than a little confused at certain points earlier on in the story (all of the shifting about between different dreams/memories/what-have-you), but by the end it really didn't matter. There are few works I can say truly moved me to tears, but this one certainly did. I can't even make words right now... brain currently overloaded with feels.

Suffice to say, I am very glad that you wrote this story. And I am very glad that I had the chance to read it.

Two construction errors in the opening paragraph aside, I can't get on with the first person narrative.

I'm afraid I'm dropping out of this one just a few thousand words in.

-Scott

That story hurt. A lot. But... it was a good hurt. The bitter-sweetness of peace and acceptance, made all the more real because we recognize the characters, and love them, even before we start reading.

This is one of the advantages of fan fiction, and your writing encapsulates this very well. We already know the characters, but what more is there to them? Here, you've taken the most realized character in the show, and allowed us all to learn of loss and acceptance through her eyes. Those of us who have lost a loved one can empathize with her desperation and dissonance, while those of us with someone precious in our lives can relate to her fear and hope.

As I read this, I kept thinking about my own brother. How special he is to me, and how devastated I would be if anything were to happen to him. Stories like this hurt, but they remind us how precious our loved ones are to us, and how important it is to savor our moments together. I don't know if I could ever thank you enough for that reminder, but there it is.

Wow... so this comment was kind of all over the place. Suffice it to say that I 'enjoyed' this story immensely, and I hope it helped you with coming to terms with your own loss. I have been eagerly awaiting your next chapters of Lez Ponies and Bellatrix the Bard, but take whatever time you need (Obviously, but I thought I should say so anyway).

cries like a b!tc|-|

Dammit, stop this dammit, crushing us like this.... Not enough feels for this one.:fluttercry:

CANT TYPE BROUGHT TO TEARS! :fluttercry::fluttercry::fluttercry: good job.

You big meanie!! Stop making me cry!! DX Iz so sad...:(:fluttercry:

I wish I had liked this story more. There is something monumental here, an amazing exploration of fraternal love, sacrifice, and the meaning of happiness and letting go. Sadly, there is just too much here that reads like melodrama, which makes much of it feel less genuine than it could have been. Furthermore, and this is what really didn't sit well with me, I don't think that Rarity actually grows in this story. At the end of the day, her last act to her sister is still to infantilize her, casting herself back into that role where she is protective to the point of being smothering, seeing Sweetie as more of an ideal than a real mare with hopes and dreams, which is what put her into this situation in the first place. In this, even her genuine sorrow feels self serving and hollow =/. Still, I like this story for all else that it does right.

Damn, that was one hell of a story. Bravo to you.
You get an A

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