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Camper-Pow1,368 words
Camper-Wham2,495 words
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Camper-Ham1,964 words
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Camper-Tram2,217 words
Camper Mann2,688 words
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Camper Mann1,689 words

Camper Mann

Sniper rolled back suddenly, narrowly avoiding the Giant Heavy's metal foot that threatened to crush him with ease. Stone work smashed into powder as the ground shook thunderously, throwing Sniper further off balance as he attempted to get back on his feet. The hissing of pistons was heard whilst the Heavy retracted its heavy foot, giving nearly no indication that the bullets were affecting it. The small SMG bullets from Sniper pinged harmlessly from its heavier armour plating, instead ricocheting off and hitting the walls and ceiling to send masonry tumbling down. Decorations were already caked in dust as the Giant Heavy began to advance towards the Demopan that had broken off from the RoboMeeM and Pyrobot to draw the behemoth's attention. Slowly, the Giant Heavy stomped after Demopan, pounding its metal fists together.

"I AM PRETTY PRINCESS," it boomed matter-of-factly as it stomped onto a table of wine. Demopan took this moment to launch a pipebomb at it. The small explosive sailed through the air with all the grace of a pound of potassium chlorate and crossed wire, with the errant twitch coming in the form of impact against the Heavy. The explosion shook the room only a slight less than one of the hulking behemoth's footsteps, staggering it slightly and causing it to drop to one knee, clutching the shoulder that had been impacted. A few sparks flew from the metal plating guarding its arm motors, and the steel was visibly dented and blackened.

However, instead of firing off another shot, the Demopan's faulty Taunt Processor immediately suggested for it to taunt. In an almost nonchalant way, the afro-sporting robot grabbed its crotch flap, and raised it up to reveal a small LCD screen displaying ':)'. Sniper was almost tempted to chuckle, but the temptation was overriden as he ran up to Demopan, diving and shoving him out of the way just as the Giant Heavy's fist came slamming down where the robot had once been stood and smashing countless more solid marble tiles like tinfoil.

"Good work!" the RoboMeeM encouraged, raising a thumb. Sniper quickly rolled to his feet, and drew his Kukri. Eyeing over the robot, he could see that the pipebomb had ripped open some armour that was protecting some important looking parts. If he could get Demopan to blow up the Giant Robot Heavy Fairy's neck plating, he could jam his machete into its inner magic servos and send it back to Robot Hell.

He sighed as he realized how bloody ridiculous that statement sounded.

Soldier sailed through the air with the grace of a mentally lacking eagle, flailing his arms slightly as he contemplated how he could land safely in the night-lit robot city. It was obvious that the robots were having a robot tea party up in the palace, and that was unacceptable because the only people allowed to have tea parties in a white building were Abraham Lincoln and President Roosevelt, both of whom were blatantly still alive and nobody could convince Soldier otherwise. The levels of rage inside him increased further as he saw that not only were they having a tea party in a big room with no wall, the tea party was being run by a giant metal copy of...

No.

It couldn't be.

Soldier gripped his launcher tighter, ran as fast as he could, then span near a wall to rocket jump straight over and into castle grounds.

The sudden sound of an arrow being released over the room caught Sniper's attention, and no sooner than he had caught sight of the blue-trailed projectile had it slammed straight into the head of the Giant Heavy, tearing straight through its Dragonborn Helmet and peeking just out of the front of its Steel Jaw. It clanked loudly in protest, staggering slightly, then reaching up, it clutched the end of the arrow, ripping it out in a sharp jolting motion. In the process, the left eye of the creature stopped glowing blue and instead shut off completely as it stared at the arrow, considering its options.

>HULL AT 78% DAMAGE LEVELS

>EXOSKELETON AT 10% INTEGRITY

>0 KILLS ATTAINED

>4/10 VISUAL GRAPHICS CARDS STILL OPERATIONAL, LEFT OPTIC INACTIVE

>PROCESSING...

>JAVA UPDATE REQUIRED. UNABLE TO OBTAIN NEW ORDERS

>CONTINUING PURIFICATION PROTOCOLS

>HAIL THE CREATOR

Suddenly, the Giant Heavy reached behind its back, grabbing the hulking shotgun from its back, levelling it, then cocking it in a rather jerky way. Unlike the normal Heavy with his shotgun, Sniper noted, this shotgun seemed to fit the Heavy's body size perfectly. Unfortunately, as it racked a large bolt whilst holding it, he also noted that it was probably full auto. Grabbing Demopan, Sniper immediately began to sprint for his life towards the hole that had been made in the wall as the floor exploded behind him under constant bombardment of giant shotgun shells. Diving behind a large chunk of stone to keep himself protected, Sniper tugged Demopan down with him and practically had to yell over the deafening gunfire.

"Alright, you wanker!" he 'said' to Demopan (practically screamed it). "What you did earlier damaged the 'bot! If ya hadn't have taunted and fired another one, ya might've killed the bastard! What I'm askin' you to do is shoot it twice in a row, then get into cover." Demopan stared back blankly.

"Stout Shako, for two refined?" he asked. Sniper almost facepalmed.

"Y-Yeah, just like that!" he suddenly said. "Just like they give you two refined, you give him two shots to the 'ead!" It was all clear to Demopan now. Proudly, he crouched behind cover, then waited for a break in the firing to make sure the Heavy was reloading. Then, turning around the large boulder he had been crouching behind, he let out a loud battle cry as he activated his Chargin' Targe and fired both his pipebombs at the Giant. This time, the Heavy was visibly hurt: Massive plates of steel flew straight off its body as it staggered back. As the second bomb impacted, its lower left arm was pulled off completely, flying off and almost hitting the Robot Sniper that had just walked in alongside Engineer. As Demopan retreated, Engie got to work.

He threw down the toolbox he had been lugging on his shoulder, letting it slide a few feet as it opened up, a circular base quickly unfolding from a tripod and following up with a gun barrel flicking out twice as fast as a normal sentry would build. In the few minutes that Engineer had taken to get his gear, he had also stopped to pick up the Level Three Sentry he had built in his room (For emergency reasons, of course) and bring it with him. His shotgun hung from a strap over his shoulder, and he quite clearly had his Lugermorph in its pocket at the front. His wrench was carried in his right hand, connected via another strap to his belt. This let him easily flick out his construction PDA and quickly build a Dispenser behind a larger rock that the sentry had nestled just next to. It was his favourite tactic: Build next to a wall, then have a Dispenser healing him and supplying metal and ammo so he could constantly keep his sentry repaired without risking himself.

In this case, risking himself would probably get him stood on.

By the time his Dispenser had built, the Heavy had stood back up, and had dropped its shotgun due to a suddenly inability to reload (Left hands are useful, stay in school, kids). It now began enroaching on the new arrival, ignoring the new hail of bullets flying its way and only slightly reacting to the smaller rockets, Giant Heavy proved itself to be the prettiest Princess by reaching the sentry. Engineer was forced to dive back as the huge robot grabbed the sentry, ripped its tripod off, and hold it in its hand. With a kick, the Heavy sent the tripod flying over to Engineer and pinning him down. Grunting, the Texan spat blood and wiped his goggles of the stuff before looking up at the Giant Heavy now looming over him. It stared down with a broken jaw, broken eye, and holed head, before saying one, single order before it crushed Dell Conagher.

"BRUSH HEAVY'S HAIR."

Just then, another yell made itself apparent, accompanied by an explosion.

"COMMUNISM WILL NEVER WIN, ROBOT JOSEPH STALIN!" Soldier screeched, sailing through the air and launching rockets at the Giant Heavy. He followed this up by drawing his trusty shovel, throwing his weight back, then pushing it all into one almighty swing that completely destroyed the Giant Heavy's face. The robot staggered back, dropping the sentry it had planned to flatten Engineer with and then stepping back to deal with the incredibly angry American it had suddenly been insulted by. As it lurched away, Sniper immediately ran over to Engineer, grabbing the RoboMeeM on his way past. The Texan coughed up more blood as he pushed the metal framework off himself. He could feel something sharp pull itself out of his stomach.

"Ah, Hell," Engineer muttered, looking at the stab wound on his abdomen. "That'll take some sewin' to fix." He already knew what was happening as Sniper slid over to him whilst the RoboMeeM began healing him.

"Engie!" Sniper cried, watching the wound close up. "Ya alright?"

"Yeah, ah'm fine," the Texan smiled slightly, picking himself up and dusting himself off. "Honestly, a better question is what in the Sam hell is Soldier doin' here?"

Across the room, their answer came.

"I WILL NOT TOLERATE COMMUNISTS! I WILL NOT TOLERATE ROBOTS! I WILL NOT TOLERATE ROBOT COMMUNISTS! I WILL DESTROY YOU, ROBOT PRINCESS JOSEPH STALIN, AND I WILL BE THE PRETTIEST PRINCESS THAT JUST KICKED YOUR ASS!"

"HEAVY IS REGRETTING COSTUME CHOICE."

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