We write. Sometimes clop, sometimes not. Feel free to read or not, we don't mind.
Derpy Hooves has struggled her entire life with an eye condition that no one understands. After years of ophthalmological treatment, she is out of options and still stricken with strabismus. Will she find solace in the hooves of her doctor?
This is a story about adorable, uncomplicated love between two ponies from entirely different walks of life.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You wanna know where to go with it? I got one word for you.....sex.
This looks great so far! I'm also excited to see where you'll take this.
I'm not one to criticize, but you should make some paragraphs, being welcomed by a wall of text may discourage some readers.
I hope I didn't offend you. I'm simply trying to give advice while still praising the cute story.
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As the story goes on, the paragraphs will be shorter as the story changes from diary entry to a chronicle of current events. However, I think demonstrating well-developed writing skills is integral to displaying Derpy the way I want to. As such she requires complex vocabulary and even more complex sentence structure. Hopefully too many people aren't discouraged by this.
Thanks for the advice, though. I'll try and tone it down some in future chapters.
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I think you may have slightly misunderstood me.
How you wish to write your story, and however well developed vocabulary you wish to give her, is up to you. I never said otherwise.
you're welcome to portray Derpy the way you like to, I for one adore it so far, It's a very original concept that I'm interested to see more of. I was just slightly confused whether the lack of paragraphs were intentional or not, and thus wanted to share what little knowledge about writing I know.
I only hope that you're not taking this in offense, I don't mean any.
Lovely!
You should should watch Doctor Who!!! Its a super awesome show and youd love it!!!!
Awesome story btw!!!!!! I like how you write Derpy! Its cute, inspiring and just plain amazing!!
You truly are an amazing author!!
I loved this story! I've read it so many times!
Oh, and cause I'm a Doctor Who fav:
I think you'd really like it! The Doctor is so inspiring and my favourite one is Matt Smith (the eleventh or as my friends call him, the bowtie one). My fav quote by him is:
900 years of time and space, and i'v never met some one not important
He goes on these amazing and extraordinary adventures through the universe with companions and danger following him. He is really, really inspiring, and it really turned my life around.
My heart melted when I read this.
Godo story Heres My reaction