For all time, a pony's cutie mark represents their true talent. But some talents are more dangerous then others.
When Dinky Hooves discovers her talent of controlling time, her life is thrust into a fight to protect the one thing that should never be played with, Equestria's timeline.
And when she finds herself against a virtually insane mare that wants to twist things for her own bidding, the filly is going to need every trick at her disposal and every friend that she can trust to keep the past, present and future from being horribly rewritten.
(Storycraft and editors are OtterMatt and Nocturnal_Melodies)
Cover art is credited to Hydkore
Chapters (3)
Doctor Whooves is her father, right?
All the time in the world would have gone to waste.
2406584
Love that game.
Also, twow, may read this. I want to read it, but school.
Schoolschoolschoolschool. FUCK.
Wait, No_M helped proof one of your stories? Did you even tell me you were WRITING this?
Eh. At least now my girlfriend can say she's contributed more than pretty art to the fandom.
Also, AppleDash. You need to write one. I haven't forgotten. In fact, the revival of THAT incident reminded me.
2406748 I asked him TWO WEEKS AGO. The FIRST time you bothered Miles. He said, and I quote:
I went to bed soon after that, as I'd just gotten home from a convention that night, so we never got to talk about it again. NOW, though, with you stirring shit back up...
And I will NOT reply to anything you say to me here again. twow doesn't need this to escalate more on his property.
Fake and gay.
0/1000
(It doesn't have Garfield in it, don't bother reading!)
2406791 Okay, fine, one more.
Time stamps and everything. If twow comes back and wants this gone, I'll gladly remove it, but I'm not fucking kidding.
For the record, the "wows" were because I didn't expect that behavior from you back then. You always WERE a supporter of his...
2406797 Why hello there, unfunny troll guy!
We would just like you to know that je moeder zuigt lullen in de hel!
2406883 I think you meant
Fixed it for ya.
2406913
Suck my dick :D
2406930 私はしかし、右の私の後ろに虎あります。
2406934
I'm not going to rush off and translate your stupid, ignorant words, faggot.
It just shows me that you're too much of a bitch to speak in a language I cared to learn.
2406945 No cuando te ves obligado a aprender este como un niño.
Also, you're too much of an idiot to not use immature words against me.
2406957
Congratulations you putrescent accumulation of filth. The synapses in your brain must not be functional for such incredible ignorance to plague you. If you are the future of humanity then I weep for this species.
Dost thou even hoist?
2406957>>2406978 Both of you fucking drop it now.
2406978 Christ, you're not even funny with your trolling...
I'm bored. (disappears in a puff of smoke)
2406989
2406997
But I'm having so much fun.
FYI, I'm not trolling to make YOU laugh, idiot(Atlas) I do it to make ME laugh.
I could give a shit about your dumb feelings.
How is this a time travel fic without Doctor Whooves?
2407682 Thanks. I remembered something and fixed the tags.
2406989 Drop fucking it?
Also, I like this. Another, please~!
2407763 Either there is some mistake, or my computer is being a troll. Wasn't Derpy in the tags earlier?
Oh this has been released? You really should have notified me
2421516 Woops. Sorry about that. I thought you were watching me.
Spabble of WRITE here, giving the requested review.
Style, Phrasing, and Mechanics:
Use a colon, not a hyphen. Hyphens are for combining words, not for punctuating headers. Also, I'd recommend centering the header.
If this isn't the Big Bang itself, you have no reason to use bold, italics, caps, and multiple exclamation points.
When you want to express chronological order, take care not to conflate the events. What you're saying in this quote is that the figure slipped through the broken window while it (at the exact same time) became repaired.
When a quote is attributed (such as by "the mare said" or "he yelled"), use a comma to link the attribution to the quote. In this case, you need to change the period after "bits" to a comma. Also, shouldn't she be using "had better be," not "had better been"?
Reread this sentence.
Never use both a question mark and an exclamation point. If you must express the vigor of the statement, describe it.
This is an attribution, so you need "she" to be lowercase.
There are more mechanical errors, but I'll stop there. If you would like me to point out the rest, then just ask.
Plot:
This chapter contains two entirely separate scenes—one of an evil villain and one of Dinky getting her
TARDISclock cutie mark by engaging in shenanigans. The logical progression is, eventually, to connect these two events in some way. I'm sure that's what you're going to do.Well, now she can. I'd recommend having her meet—or at least find—her father. (I'm sure you already have that planned.)
Here we have a page-long headcanon dump. Currently, it bears no importance to the plot of the story. If that's not going to change, then remove the headcanon dump.
Characters:
As far as characterization, everything seems fine. The evil villain at the start appears to be Trixie or a Trixie-inspired OC, and Dinky's situation is similarly standard. The short bits that we see of the CMC seem pretty well characterized to me. DT and SS are portrayed as they typically are.
She mentions "that stallion" three times on the first page. He'd better serve some purpose to the story. If he doesn't, then reconsider his existence.
Conclusion:
Interesting story, even if the premise is a little unexpected. The main issue with the story is its mechanical errors. Keep going, but for heaven's sake, either get a copy editor or be one.
— Spabble, WRITE's Supreme Copy Editor
i.imgur.com/ggjNG.png
Wooooooo, new chapter~!
Princess of Time? Nice!
Can't wait to see what's in store for Dinky!
It begins!