KwirkyJ
Joined 19th May, 2012 ·
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So, the filly is Princess Mononoke?
...
Okay, I'll hit myself for that one.
Joking aside, this is a very interesting tale. I kinda see what your intention was, and for the most part it succeeds. I will say, however, that not using the terms pegasus and unicorn is a bit pretentious. Unless this is being told from the filly's point of view (which it's not), I think storytellers who pass this myth down from generation to generation know what unicorns and pegasi are. Tweak that, and you've got yourself a rather avant-garde story that may be an acquired taste, but is still enjoyable.
As a lover of all things lupine, I was immediately intrigued by this story. By the end, I was deeply moved. Thinking of the filly-witch sleeping within her own creation, she is finally at peace. Truly, she is ever free. The realization of this title; the Everfree Forest, causes a chill. In my usual roundabout way of speaking, I'm trying to say that I LOVE this story.
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Thank you for the critique! I admit that it is an unusual and perhaps unfortunate choice, but at the time I was thinking it may have been an Earth Pony tale from pre-unification times. The pretension, then, would defer to the original storytellers, maybe? A weak excuse, I grant. I am pleased that you managed to enjoy it for what it is, all the same!
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If I can get one to feel something with my work, I feel I have accomplished my goal. I'm glad you got something -- indeed perhaps more than I originally intended -- out of it, and thanks for sharing it!
Nice!
I'm a huge fan of fairy tales (and stories explaining things that the show hasn't yet, like the timberwolves) so this was right up my alley. (Yes, the archaic style was a little off-putting, but not so much as to dampen my enjoyment of the story.) [You should give your stories covers though, even if only screenshots from the show. It's weird, but more people click on them if they have a picture, no matter what the picture is of.
]
Anyway, I liked your witch filly character and thought this was a neat idea.
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I am glad you liked it! If fairy tales are your schtick (ignore what I did there), might want to check with me again after some time: I promise nothing, but I do intend to produce a collection of fairy tale-like stories in the future... with generally more modern and accessible prose. As for cover art, while I am aware that I would likely get more views (read: exposure) if I made use of them, I am treating this as something of an experiment to see if I can become at least passably recognized without covers, at least at time of initial story publication.
I am also gladdened that you liked the filly/witch character. I gave you, the reader, very little with which to work (a situation with the style did not aid in the least), so it is pleasing to hear she wasn't lost as merely a device. As you draw attention to her, have some more trivia: much of her was inspired by some Native American 'transformation' myths.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and encouragement!
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Hmm......brings to light what other things the ponies hath damned in zealous parable but the EverFree is named this way for a reason!!!
These creatures think they are greater and mightier as to chain and shackle the sun and moon, to bend nature to their will and refuse to let it play its own part?
We will show them we will live on without the Sun's shackled light or the moon's chained glimmer we are the voices of the Ever Free
This was an interesting read, I found it thought provoking. We know so little about not just Timberwolves, but the Everfree itself. Who knows the true story behind them, and I must say your take was very satisfying. I see others were a bit off-put by the archaic style, yet I found it enjoyable, as if I were listening to a story handed down through generations, maybe even as a warning to the newer generations. I'll be sure to peruse more of your work in the future.