• Member Since 21st Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen April 14th


I was a shitty person but a good enough writer.


Tebo the Velociraptor led a perfectly normal Velociraptor life. Until, Pinkie Pie, out of freaking nowhere.

If you attempt to take this story seriously, you're gonna have a bad time.

Just a short one-shot.

Rated Teen for frequent strong language and some gore.

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 53 )

I wrote this story with no pretense of seriousness at all. Everything in it is meant for laughs. So... Yeah. :scootangel:

Random. Brilliant. Good job! Cheers.:twilightsmile:



After I discovered the beauty of my new-found vocals, I realized something. I realized that I shouldn't have been able to realize that I had a new voice, let alone realize that I realized the realization.

Realizeception anyone? For those days where you can't decide whether or not you should be able to decide.

Cool story. Maybe Tebo and Raptor (my utahraptor alter ego (I'm not good with names)) can get together and discuss the finer points of disemboweling prey, hm?

This is the best "And then Everyone died" type story I've read. Hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

I'm so bucking confused that I need a smoke, DAMN it....however it made me laugh but not as hard as this line "No, fuck you, wall, I'm Tebo the Fucking Velociraptor." I cried reading that line, Gods I laughed my ass off, half expected Spike to join him in destorying everything:rainbowlaugh: Wow....talk about a random fic, highly enjoyable though:yay:

Yeah...You owe me a new pair of lungs.

This was the greatest portrayal of the human condition I have seen this month. :coolphoto:

im sad, funny original shit like this never gets featured... yet there are like 5 dumbass romance stories involving Luna or Nightmare Moon... and they all have 1 thing in common, THEY ALL SUCK!

just three words


I wonder if the admins take suggestions...


Nah, just kidding. :moustache:

Or am I?...

It's an enigma...

Anyway, this was too funny, and I also noticed that not a single person caught the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy reference...

"Well, shoot. This isn't Raxacoricofallapatorius."

Too funny... Anyway:

MY WEIGHTED COMPANION CROWBAR DEMANDS A SEQUEL, WE MUST SEE THE SHOWDOWN BETWEEN THE DOCTOR AND TEBO! (Oh, and for me, throw in at least one crowbar, if not Gordon Freeman)

Now....there is no response to this...only the fact that...it was written.

Well, then...
Well, that was, interesting....
to say the least...
it was also a little disturbing (understatement of the month)


Was kinda putting the "Dark" category to use with the alternate ending. :twilightsmile:

:moustache: Well that escalated quickly.


This is freakin' great!


Surprise, motherfucker.

Thanks for all of you guys's positive comments. It means a lot. :pinkiesmile:

That... *Wipes manly tear* That was beyond beautiful.

Ive already given up on humanity. i don't understand why i keep setting myself up for disapointment.

but what really baffles me about those dumb ship stories is that there is not difference between Luna and Nightmare Moon (especially good NMM). One is a whiney little bitch who acts socially awkward and has an opressive sister... and the other is a whiney BIG bitch who acts socially awkward and has an opressive sister.

you might as well go and take purple Koolaide in one picher, then make sugar water with purple food dye in another, walk down the streets of detroit and ask people if they taste a difference.


That was probably the best analogy I've ever heard.

This still does not negate my crowbar's demand for a sequel, except make it funny and with the doctor rather than dark... MY CROWBAR DEMANDS IT :flutterrage:

The Alternate Alternate Ending:

Hmmm, sad how easy things are to kill, then again living in a desert really prepares you for this shit. I guess ill be on my way now...

Oh, fuck, how do doors work? Let me see if one of those grey wonders has the key...
Wait, Princess, what the fuck? you're susposed to be dead, how the hell are you moving?

Wait? is that a zipper? (How i know what a zipper is, ill never know.)
wait, what the fuck? why are humans here? wait... are you Steve Irwin?

......Oh FUCK YO-


From the side door of the room, A white alicorn Princess walks in. She bypasses the bloodshed and the corpse of the transdimensional intruder and then stands behind her "Reinforcements" from another dimension. the "Help", a tall austrailian homo sapien wearing shorts, a tilly hat, and a vest, folds up the stock of his Spas 12 Shotgun and reracks the weapon, catching the empty shell.
She smirks, and then quips, to the other creatures annoyance, "Clever Boy..."

:rainbowlaugh: What the buck? Also....how does one kill a Goddess?:facehoof:


*cough* Kratos *cough*

2402975 The Titan of Time? For Equestria I think of the Windagos (spelled that wrong) as the Titans of Equestria:yay: Sorry, got the new God of War confused with the Titan of Time....LOVE GOD OF WAR LOL.

2401720 That's a reference to Doctor Who

Sir...... This.... Was..... FUCKING AWESOME!!! Good Fucking Job. Fuck. I... I have no more words for this documentation of Bad assery

I wonder if the only reason this isn't featured is because of the word count. Does anyone know if there's any truth to the whole "the story has to have a word count of over 4000 and have a like-dislike ratio of [insert correct ratio here] to get featured"?

This is just amazing. I totaly wasn't expecting it either.

Kratos is the god of strength. Chronos is the Titan of Time.

2405869 And, apparently, Tebo is the Titan of SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKA~!

2405857 No, that's not it. My story Luna Eats an Oreo has a lesser word count than this story does, and it was featured. I dunno what the qualifications are, if there even are any. Maybe the admins just read it and enjoy it and it gets featured.

2407341 Hopefully not all of it. You'll have none left for the next WTF story you come across. :twilightsmile:

This has to be the best story ever.

That was... awesome!!! Just one question: is there anything that ponies don't ship?

2413582 No.


2402303no kidding! talk about hitting the nail head on and driving it deep

2414846 Nothing is Taboo, Everything is Shippable. :pinkiesmile:But explosives are kinda hard to get through.:pinkiecrazy:

Me while reading this in a nutshell:

What the f-f-f-fuck?! :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

I was laughing so hard it almost wasn't funny.

... If I wasn't confused before, I most certainly am now.

The fuck did I just watch?

Oh God, so good. So brilliant. Massive props to Tebo for being the most conversational, hilarious Velociraptor that has ever existed.

3333124 Thank you. I love hearing stuff like that, it always makes my day.

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