• Member Since 9th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen 5 minutes ago

RazedRainbow


I am the man that sank Atlantis.

T

When Rarity and Rainbow Dash took their first steps down the road of romance, they had hoped telling their friends would be their greatest trial. However, when the complications of an injury leave one of them disfigured and the other racked with guilt, they find themselves leaning on each other to simply maintain balance in their lives.

Sequel to Third Time's a Charm

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 176 )

obviously injures are sad, but is the story sad? like does the injury cease any happy ending or resolution for the pair? i don't like sad stories, but i'm ok with sad moments. basically i wanna know if i should read this.:twilightblush:

EDIT: I'm not generalizing that the story will be sad or bad. i'm sure it is good, and i am basically asking if the entire story overall is sad or just has sad moments, because i don't know myself, only razedrainbow knows this answer.

Well then. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

*sigh*:ajsleepy:
I liked "Third Time's the Charm", but I'm afraid I can't read this fo the sole reason of the sad tag :/ That and I don't like when ponies are killed or crippled... :fluttershyouch:

Aaaaand... Featured! That was fast. If this is anything like TTAC, it'll deserve the kudos. Read-through starts tonight!

So, you took what was a gentle and nice adventure romance like third times and turned into a PTSD Rarity with missing limbs...

I'm just gonna stop reading here.

Good luck.

Things may get interesting O.o all and al its a great start to the story.

2537058 The story most likely will be sad. But this doesn't speak of its ending (since, like you said, the ending is just a part of the story). I guess you're going to have to buckle up and find out.

Well i'm glad this chapter cleared some things up now, I was wondering how bad rarity's injuries were from the first story, though didn't quite expect leg loss, or that nopony knows why the leg needed to be removed. o.O Guess from the sounds of it one of her gems on her flank also died or something. This also explains alot about Sweetie Belle's attitude, I figured she was pretty upset about injuring Rarity like that, maybe for causing a few scars, but to cause her sister to lose her entire leg? Yeah, that's gonna make a pshychologist somewhere rich. Could be sadder, you could have had RD lose a wing as well. ^-^;;
A good sequel so far, hope things get better as the story goes along.

A fine start with our two lovely mares, both injured in more ways than they might admit. I imagine Twilight's about to have her hooves full with an aged-up and ticked off Spike on the loose.

Some interesting notes on Fluttershy here: she heard the crash and the commotion, yet even though Sugarcube Corner and the Library are closer than Sweet Apple Acres, she traveled all the way to SAA because (presumably) she knew Dash would be there. That means either Shy was in panic mode and forgot about asking her other friends to check on Rarity, or she skipped them intentionally because she knew only Dash could help. If it's the latter, that also means Shy somehow knew it wasn't a life-threatening issue. Much experience with Rarity's usual drama, maybe? Or just good intuition?

“She’s been coming by every week. Or at least that’s what Rares tells me. I dunno, I’m never there.

Missing a closing quotation mark.

Rainbow’s hoof continued to trace Rarity’s thigh, stopping when the feel of fur suddenly ending.

Probably supposed to be "ended."

2537383
Well, the doctors know why, but that won't come up 'til the second interlude.

2537395 Well if I learned anything from "Star Wars", it's probably because the leg lost the 'will' to live. :trollestia:

We are impressed with thy story.
Thou hast superior character definition and a good writing style. That hast been favourited in the royal canterlot library.
Keep it up .

Wow, that's a lot of stupid-ass butthurt in the comments. Wow.

Gotta stop reading those.

a3V

“Woulda prefered that.”

There's a missing 'r' in there, I think. Unless it's some stylistic choice, of course, in which case just ignore me.

Yeah I admit i'm a little put off by the sad tag and amputation but I think im gonna keep reading.

Once she was out of sight, Rainbow glanced over to Rarity. She, too, was watching the stairs, but with a look on her face that made Rarity’s heart shatter.

So, Rarity was watching the stairs with a look that made Rarity's heart shatter?:rainbowhuh:


Just scrolled through comments and saw another person simply saying that he/she can't read more because of crippled/maimed ponies and general sadness. That comment, like pretty much all of them, was downvoted...
...okay people. What is wrong with you? So some of the readers voice their disagreement about the path the author decided to walk on. So? Is this really a reason to downvote? Would you rather see them simply downvoting the story and disappearing without a trace or explanation?
As far as I know, there is no law that states "Thou shall like every story!". They can dislike it and they can voice their opinion. You on the other hand have no right to downvote them for that. It's no better than downvoting your comment in which you praise the story and the author. As long as it's not offensive or downright stupid, there is no reason. And disagreement is neither of those. Downvoting because I disagree with that comment is simply... sick doesn't even begin to describe it.
They are actually right if you ask me. Compared to the prequel this story is positively dark. I would even go as to say it warrants a dark tag, even if it might be pushing it a bit.
Mainly because of the oppressive atmosphere that is created here. Because of all that self depreciation, all those jabs in inner monologues, the general hopelessness. This here is not sad for me. That's closer to a tragedy right now. I assume things will be better in time, sure. But at some point I also asked myself: Is this really a fic I want to read?
I still don't have the answer. On one hand, I enjoyed TTTC greatly and its sequel deserves to be read just because of that.
On another, the premise here would normally make me leave and never come back, as I rarely read any story capable of spoiling my mood. I figure life is tough enough without reading/watching about others having troubles and sadness themselves.
Looking back at this comment, I seem a bit aggressive. Yes, I suppose I am. But one thing that hits my very core, are people denying others their right to express their mind and state their concerns. I fight with it as much as I can and I tend to be defensive about it. Call it a quirk of mine.
My apologies to anyone who might have been offended by this very post. Feel free to disagree, it is your right to do so. Do remember, however that others also have this right. Don't think only about yourself.


As for you, RazedRainbow... as I said, I will read more of your fic and I hope you will not stray from your path because of those who do not agree with you. I don't want anything less than the author who changes their story because of reader's pressure.
I will be around this story and I will read it. Even if I have to force myself, you deserve to be heard.
Keep up your work!

And now I should go to sleep before I make an even bigger ass of myself...:unsuresweetie:
Night, Y'all!:ajsleepy:

2537385 I think I read it as more just like panic mode and Shy doing a typical Fluttersh-avoids-confronting-things-head on


Just gonna say


I like this one better than Charm. And you know I liked Charm a lot.

Keep going, man.


2538178 See, tragedy? I'm not sure about that. Tragedy implies hopelessness, and I'm not sure I get that here from the words on the page. It would also imply insurmountability, which I also don't get from the words on the page. To lose is not to lose forever. The world moves on. (Though I have to say that I agree with you on being a bit more reasonable.)

2537164 I assure you that if you do that you will be missing out.

2537110 Heh. Really? I thought someone would get it by the second chapter.


2537058 Yes! To be honest, most of the stories in the world that we've committed to paper are sad. The Lord of the Rings is super depressing. But that doesn't imply a bad ending!


2538081 Trust me, this thing... I loved Charm, I kept telling Raze that charm was good and I believed in it, and this story? This story is better. It's deeper. I fell in love with it.

2537368 well actually, no i don't. the author can just tell me if he/she thinks i would like the story. i wouldn't have asked if i was willing to risk it. there are others fics for me to read that i know i will like, so just to be safe, i'm not reading this until the author gives his/her input. not to be mean, i'm sure it is written well. i am following razedrainbow for a reason after all. i just hope razedrainbow doesn't mind giving some input on if i should read this or not.:pinkiehappy:

2538370 He most likely won't, in the comments. Send him a PM.
But I still think he won't risk the story being spoiled like that... no offense.

2538370
I'm not one to say whether or not someone should read my stories or not. If you decide to give this a shot, great. If you choose to not read it, that's just as fine. :applejackunsure:

I started to read this hoping it would be somewhat of a happy conclusion to TTTC. I was SO wrong....:applejackunsure:
Generally I like happy and/or funny stories better but I a sad one can be great too. In fact every, in my opinion, great story I read had a bit tragedy in it but always at least a neutral ending. I just hate it when characters grow on me just to suffer and die or suffer even more... That states I hope for a happy ending. I won't give it a vote yet since it has to be finished yet but I'll keep an eye on it, since my hopes for happier parts are still up.

her eye liner ran down her cheeks, staining her pearl-like fur a sludgy black. Her once delicately-placed eye shadow now lay smudged across her brow, messy and not unlike the warpaint of some kind of barbaric heathen.

Wasn't it established in the previous chapter Rarity hadn't put on makeup that morning?

Wow. I completely missed the hint at the end of chapter one. Rares with a prosthetic caught me totally off guard. No wonder Dash is so torn up.
Quite the aftermath for both of them. Gonna be a long recovery.

Nice parallel with Dash and Sweetie both forgetting to tell Rarity their plans.

“Yes. Stars Swirl Memorial. As always.”

Should this be Star Swirl Memorial, or maybe Starswirl Memorial?

With a shiver, she sat down and sipped her tea once more

Missing ending punctuation.

2538178

They can dislike it and they can voice their opinion. You on the other hand have no right to downvote them for that.

TIL that people are free to dislike a story and voice their opinion, but not dislike a comment and express their opinion. I sure am glad I learned about that, or I might have made a fool of myself!

2538798
Most places have Star Swirl as two words :applejackunsure:

Also, thanks for pointing out those pesky typos that always sneak through.

A three legged pony?! What a rarity! :rainbowwild:

Oh you~! :raritywink:

-Cue canned laughter-

Sorry whenever I get depressed I pretend life's a sitcom.

Still, I thought she was paralysed from the neck down so, all things considered, it's not that bad.

Oh poor Rarity, talk about a bad day.

Spacecowboy
Story Approver

So, it seems that you're catching all hell of a lot of flak for having this be a sad tale instead of something that is an upturn in emotion from their accident. And then amputation? Oh lord no, you just didn't!

Anyways, now that I've gotten a great laugh from all these people whining, going to read what you've got of the story tonight at work. I'm sure I won't be disappointed, and at the end of a sad train can be a happy ending, so no need for me to go off whining and crap. : )

Also... Is the title of this chapter an Explosions in the Sky reference?

Poor Sweetie Belle, must be feeling responsible for Rarity's missing leg.

Now comes the hard part...waiting for the next part to be released:ajbemused:
Overall I really like this story so far and its predecessor very much. I can't wait to find out what happens next! :raritywink:

Man this story is way different than the prequel, not that that's a bad thing, in fact, makes it feel more realistic!

Wait, amputation? How did I not know this earlier? I got the feeling that she had some serious damage to her leg, maybe had much of the musculature removed, and obviously some serious nerve damage, but an amputation? Huh. Well, I assume all will be explained in time.

Loving the story so far. But you made me cry. Jerk.

I was actually hoping you would release each chapter weekly, not all four on the same day. Now it's going to feel like forever for the next chapter(s) to come out :raritydespair:!

I wonder if Sweetie will end up comforting Spike, given that those two seem just as broken as Dash and Rarity?

Slow. Maimer. Failure

Missing ending punctuation mark.

2538859
Glad I could help. TTAC was wonderful, and this is proving to be every bit the brilliant sequel I knew it would be. Also, I realize most sources make Star Swirl two words, but I was pointing out that you'd spelled it "Stars Swirl."

As if she could somehow read her mind, Rainbow Dash pulled out her IV hopped out of her bed.

Should probably be "pulled out her IV and hopped out of her bed."

“Why?” She wept.

Could go either way, but I'd use a lowercase "S" after the closing quotation mark.

*Reads "Third Time's a charm"*
"Wow, that was fucking awesome! Who knew Raridash could be such an adorable, perfect ship?"
~Le few months later~
*Sees this story*
"Wow, a sequel to that awesome Raridash fic! Count me in!"
*Sees sad tag, reads sad description*
"Ooooh boy, the first one was so adorable, cute, and squee inducing that I don't know if I could read a sad sequel... that would tear me apart. I think I might just pass this one up. After all, it's not like it's canon to the original. This is probably just some 'alternate sequel ending' thingy written by some random guy who-"
*Sees that it's the same author as the original story*
"Oh ponyfeathers. I have to read this now, don't I?
My heartstrings.
I think I can feel them being tugged.
Hard."
▶PinkiePie35

Not gonna tlie, his story so far is some deep stuff. Normally I'm in to philosophy and things and I foresee a bright future, but this is dragging me down with it. Can't wait for the mood To eventualy lighten. Keep up good work. This couple can be cute, and it can be evil, i hope to see some of both, the feel good side by side with the feel bad. A delicate ballence.

Honestly I feel like the last chapter so far is the most positive. It reviled answers about the deformities, it showed rare and dash supporting each other for the right reasons, and because the whole downward spiral had not begun yet. I like the premise o this fic, I really do. Especially now that I can tell what is going on. My only comment is that keeping the reader in the dark created some serious tension and completely did away with a standard intro. In the middle of the action. But I see promise here, and I will read every word. I just hope this ends happier than background pony.

Wait... people didn't know that it was an amputation from the beginning? I suspected in chapter one, and I was convinced by chapter two. Three actually said it. Anyway, I need to see where this goes.

A good start.
I loved Charm, but I also very much enjoy the more serious tone this seems to be taking.
I'm not sure why, but for some reason I seem to enjoy shipfics where horrible things happen to the couple. :twilightblush:
I guess the strongest relationships are the ones that can survive the darkest times or some crap...
In any case, I'm really excited to read more of this! :rainbowkiss:

2538859

...

I have more.

Once she was out of sight, Rainbow glanced over to Rarity. She, too, was watching the stairs, but with a look on her face that made Rarity’s heart shatter.

Rainbow looked over at Rarity, who had a look on her face that made her own heart shatter?

Oh, wait, you meant made Rainbow's heart shatter, didn't you? :trollestia:

She moved her hoof alone the feathers once more, and she felt Dash shudder.

That should be 'along'.

This arc is reminding me a lot of some of the issues that arose in the most recent season of Grey's Anatomy. I won't go into detail to avoid spoilers (though I'm not sure how many people on here watch the show) but two characters end up facing a similar issue as Rarity and Dash. I admit this isn't the direction I expected this fic to go in, but its not unwelcome. Its always interesting to see how the characters deal with different types of trauma, and to be fair they were both seriously injured, so seeing the repercussions rather than brushing them off like they never happened is pretty refreshing as well. Anywho, I'm quite liking this sequel so far, even if it isn't as cheery as some may like at the moment :twilightsmile:

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