• Member Since 28th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

CheerDaLee


A writer. I try to write at least... Video games are REALLY distracting though...and work...and life...Eh. Well if you have time go ahead and give my stuff a chance ^~^ I'm a pretty nice person

T

Trixie has not had it easy since the alicorn amulet had corrupted her.
Her hopes for the future dashed, she has moved to the Everfree Forest with only a hallucination to comfort her.
When even the forest chases her away she will need to depend upon the goodness and generosity of another for the first time in a long while.

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 88 )

Interesting. I'll keep an eye on this.

what the first commenter said. it´s good in Narration so far, but too early to judge the plot.

Well written and interesting, I hope to see more in the near future.

Very well written! :pinkiehappy:
I'm faving this, I want to know what happens next! :raritydespair:

Well, I'l; be a griffons uncle. this was shockingly good!

I am sorry to say I went in on this with low expectations. But I was dead wrong this is looking to be a great story. I am really glad I read it! really please keep up the great work!

Comment posted by CheerDaLee deleted Apr 9th, 2013

Excellent story so far. I can't wait for updates. :duck:

She didn’t wish for such a fate obviously. She was still Trixie even if all seemed lost. Pixie as well would never allow her to just lie down and die. No. She may not be great anymore, having fallen to rock bottom and then some. She may not be powerful anymore, her magic having failed on her due to her weak body days ago. But she was still Trixie. Death could have her. But only if it earned the right to reap her. She would make death work for it.

Okay... why does this part go so well with this and why do they both make Trixie seem so much more awesome?

2415746 Nothing more to add to that^^

Well, not much has happened and I hate to say it but Trixie living in the Everfree forest is about as overdone as FlutterDash.
You've earned a track for now, but I'll hold off on a like or dislike.

2428666

I understand that all too well. But the idea in my head demanded this. Also it's kinda hard to think of something that would be pressing enough on the mind to hallucinate.

So, yeah I know. It's cliche but I'm going to try to not simply focus on her hardships. This is a ship fic, not a sad/tragedy fic.

2428725

This is a ship fic, not a sad/tragedy fic.

That's why I'm here:moustache:

Well-wriitten, mate. I shall be watching this production. :moustache:

Nice chapter and thanks alot. Because of you I really considering to buy SWKotOR :rainbowlaugh:

Yay, an update! I almost forgot about this story!! its great to see it going again!

2700360

Do it.

It's one of my favorite older RPGs. Uses a DnD style system for attacks and such and I really liked it overall. I still enjoy it.

I was afraid you abandoned this story. Good that you are back. :pinkiesmile:
I really liked this chapter. Pixie being the voice of cute reason is just perfect! Maybe the release from the hospital seems to be a bit unrealistic (she just woke up for the first time after a week and they immediately send her away) but I guess it can be justified by the nature of her illnesses. Overall nice work, keep going :twilightsmile:

2701718

I like comments like that.

But yeah. Basically I went with her being there a week so that in that time she had pretty much recovered to a point where she could be released and for the malnutrition and such basically all they can do is help her along. At least that was my reasoning.

But yeah. So far nothing you can find on my page has been abandoned. I just have a full time night job and really don't have much time for me so I don't write as much as I used to.

I am so glad to see another chapter added to this. Pixie is so cuuuuute.:rainbowkiss: Add to the fact that Rarity can't see her, and I see some very interesting interactions coming up. Keep up the good work.

2702063

Gah! Everyone is loving Pixie! That's awesome! I was a bit worried about having her in but all fics need a hook right? And I got a damn adorable hook if I do say so myself. I was dawing as I wrote the wheelchair bit.

Good to see this back. And I like Pixie, too.

Nice chapter! Few mistakes but not big deal! :twilightsmile:
Can't wait for more! :pinkiehappy:

Just wanted to let you know someone is still interested in this story and wondering when the next chapter is coming out.

3339703

Yup. I've actually been attempting to get myself working on it. Slowly but surely it's working. But currently it's only around 1000 words or so.

I see the beginnings of something developing between Trixie and Rarity (however small it is). I'm glad to see you back to writing this story. I look forward to the next chapter. I really didn't need to see that YouTube clip in the author's note though.

3483122

Lawl. Yeah but I didn't know what else to say. So there's a random *Wat* video

Interesting development. Adding the dark magic sickness puts a new spin on the old formula, instead of Trixie just being starved and wounded. It also gives a better justification for Rarity to take her into custody: instead of being out of kindness and sudden sexual attraction, it's because they need to keep Trixie in town and Rarity is best suited for the task. (Naturally, if this had been a different ship, Fluttershy would have been best suited for the task, or Twilight, or Derpy, or Spike. Shipping is by nature biased, after all.) This will allow better opportunities for Rarity to get to know Trixie properly. I like to think that there is a lot about Trixie that Rarity could appreciate if they can get past the first impression (style, confidence, stage presence), so developing an natural attraction isn't hard.

Also, don't be embarrassed about your own work. You're not a little kid trying to show your crayon drawing to your stern pipe-smoking 60's dad who's tired after a long day of very important office work and reading a brochure on cadet schools where you can be sent to become less of a failure. You're making a very good contribution to the field of literature and should be proud. Be confident! Stand tall! This is your story, and if some reader don't like it, buck 'em!

3483433 I gotta agree with this. It's... nice to see consequences from using the Amulet, and it does provide a good reason for Trixie to stay with Rarity. Good show and glad to see more of this!

I'm glad to see an update of the fic that inspired me to write my own Rarixie and I liked almost every word from this chapter! :pinkiehappy:
I really like how you're building up this fic, you wrote a few things I wish I could have thought about before, keep up the good work! :twilightsmile:

3483433 That was just about the best comment I've ever seen^^ Good to know that there are still a few good people out there^^

Well done yet. I'm interested. Let's see how we progress...

Quite filled with exposition, I see. I'll keep an eye out for updates.

This is a cute little story. In addition to looking forward to the shipping, I'm intrigued by Pixie. She's such a fun little character, I dread to think what could happen should her nature be revealed... I'm looking forward to updates.

Is this... A Trixie x Rarity ship? Color me intrigued and interested. I'll save my judgement for when I've read more, but hopefully it's as good as it sounds.

Onward to reading!

With how much of this story that I've read, there is only one conclusion I can come to.


I need more! The writing is great, characterization is excellent and believable, and the premise grows more and more intriguing! Please tell me this story isn't going to die off!

I'll even fave it for you!

4233320

:pinkiehappy:

Thank you~!

No. It's not dead. Just...slow... Sorry. :raritydespair: I'm sorry!

But yeah. Thank you very much

4238566 Oh yeah. I have NO intentions to let any of my stories die. I just get distracted REALLY easy.

4242939 and THAT is the sole reason I haven't written anything yet...

4233050 Believe me, if done right, this is a good shipping! :raritywink:

Please tell me the next chapter won't take this long to go up. :fluttershysad: Nonetheless, I love this story and the ship!

4587027 No. I'm DEFINETLY going to get it out earlier this time. It'll be a shorter one but I think y'all will like it anyway.

I think you portray Trixie better than I do :raritywink:
I really like where this is going, if it's not much to ask, update soon! :fluttershysad:

Yay! An update.
*reads*
So, Trixie has to learn to curb her attitude. I like Pixie though. I doubt it, but it would be interesting for something to happen so Rarity will see her, even briefly.

Oh, nice, an update!

Story and character development continues at a careful pace, which I think is good - so many stories of this sort rush it. Both Rarity and Trixie are stubborn, yet admit that they have to make an effort to get along; Rarity considering that Trixie might deserve at least another chance, and Trixie realizing that Rarity will treat her better if she makes an effort to be likeable. Good; I've never understood why some people seem to think that extreme stubbornness is an admirable trait. (I also don't understand why some writers think that Trixie is completely without social grace, given that her chosen profession is all about winning other ponies' admiration.)

There's some tense irregularities at the start, with the story slipping into and out of present tense, which should be corrected. Pixie's lines are sometimes red and sometimes brown, and a few of them have a square bracket at the start of the line.

Hope to see more soon.

Login or register to comment