Chapter 4: Anger over an Apple and Dinner
Trixie felt like she was in a cage. A cage that was constantly being slowly crushed by…something. Some kind of familiar but horribly cold and cruel power as if it’s only goal was to compact her into nothing. To squeeze the utter life from her.
She could see something. After a couple moments, she could see a red glow but as soon as she could see it, her ears were bombarded with a loud high-pitched noise that she couldn’t quite place. It kept growing and growing in volume.
She shot up from her bed, breathing heavy having realized what the noise was. Screaming. Many voices at once screaming. Bombarding her eardrums with screams of agony.
Trixie sat in her bed and took a few deep breaths. She looked around the area around her. “Where…?” She asked aloud as her mind woke up along with the rest of her. ’Right. The fancy mare, Rarity.’ She thought before sighing and looking down. She smiled as she saw her tiny friend; Pixie snuggled up to her side.
She moveed her head down and nuzzled the small filly. Her ears perked as she did so. A rhythmic mechanical noise entered her ears. ’Probably Rarity at work.’ She thought as she nuzzled the filly awake.
”Ngh. Nno…I dun wanna wake up Trixie…” The silly little filly moaned out causing Trixie to chuckle.
“Come on filly. It’s time to get up.”
”Urg…Fiiiiine…” She said, grumbling before letting out a cute little yawn. ”Ngh…Is the food ready?” She answered as she rubs her eyes.
If Pixie hadn’t reminded her, the loud sound of Trixie’s grumbling stomach would have done an excellent job. Trixie grumbled before yawning and getting a nice long stretch out. From her head to her tail, she heard pops and cracks. She cringes as she feels pain in her hind leg. Reminding her of the circumstances that have brought her to this home. With an annoyed groan she looks over to her brace.
’I really don’t want to deal with you again, you stupid contraption. But…I’m hungry and would rather not be hungry and in pain. With a resigned sigh she scooted herself over to the end of the bed. With a quiet grunt, she pushed herself off the bed and towards battle with the cruel and evil straps.
After a good ten minutes of battling with her newest arch nemesis and enough curses to get a foal put in detention for the rest of their schooling career she announced her victory. “Ha! Trixie, two. Fate….Well. Trixie, two anyway.” She said aloud with a shrug and upon turning around and a small squeak of her wheel, she saw a wide mouthed Pixie on the edge of the bed. Trixie blinked a few times before simply walking over to her and speaking. “Don’t repeat anything I just said.” The filly nodded lightly before jumping onto the showmare’s back.
“But what does fu-“
“Don’t. Repeat them. I might explain it to you one day.” Trixie said, cutting off the filly.
"Awww. Fiiine." Pixie said, admitting defeat with a pout.
"Good. Now let us go feast." Trixie said as she began to move towards the door. Not even two steps or one wheel squeak and Pixie scrambled on top of her head, smile on her face and hoof pointing forward as she shouted.
"To food!" Trixie just shook her head at the enthusiastic filly causing her to wobble a little before going back to her "dramatic pose" as Trixie made her way to the kitchen with minimal squeaking.
Upon entering the kitchen, she was pleasantly surprised to have a sudden feeling of warmth and comfort. She stood in the doorway for a moment, trying to figure out what it was before shrugging and making her way to the fridge.
Upon opening the fridge door Trixie was a bit disappointed to find the fridge filled with many ingredients but nothing that the thin mare could just pick up and eat. After all. She was a guest. In addition, one against her own will at that. If she was going to eat something, either her 'host' would make it or it would be something proper for snacking. She had lived on scraps long enough. She wanted 'real' food. She groaned as she shut the fridge. 'What kind of pony doesn't have snacks?' she mentally grumbled as she turns around. But, halfway she stops and stares.
There, on the counter was a large bright red, delicious apple. Her mouth opened slightly nearly drooling, as she unconsciously got closer and closer to it, not even hearing the squeaking of her wheels, as enchanted as she was by the apple. It was as though the red fruit was singing a siren song to her. And, the words to the song were. "Eat me Trixie...Devour me...."
So enraptured was she that she didn't even notice the lack of the mechanical noise from earlier as she took her first bite. Nor did she notice the gasp nearby though the fact Pixie was running in a circle nearby screaming "Game over mare! Game over!" did capture her attention and pull it to the doorway where Rarity was standing, looking aghast.
As Trixie stood in place, she watched Rarity, wondering what might be wrong with her as she slowly took another bite of the apple.
Rarity seemed to finally break out of whatever stupor she had been in and shouted "What in Equestria do you think you're doing?!"
Trixie took another bite. The apple now over half-gone as she spoke. "Eating. Trixie assumed she was allowed to do so without needing permission."
Rarity took a deep breath to calm herself as she mentally lamented the loss of the apple she had purposefully saved for last. The best and most delicious looking apple out of a good-sized bushel she had gotten from Applejack. She had actually had daydreams about eating that one and now it was gone. Well, almost. Another bite or two and her delicious apple was gone for good. That reminder caused her anger, which she had just calmed down from, to return. She slightly grit teeth and spoke.
"I assumed that you would know well enough to not eat what was so obviously being saved."
"How was Trixie to know that? Besides. It's not as if you have anything else she could eat. There's nothing else that would immediately sate Trixie. Not like this apple here, that is."
"Then why not just make something?" Rarity replied, more annoyed than anything now. After all, it was just an apple. A bright red, juicy, delicious apple. Oh. There was the anger again.
"Because Trixie is a guest. You expect her to make something for herself? Aside from that. Do you 'really' trust Trixie to make food?" She asked, punctuating her sentence with another loud crunch as she bit through the apple.
Rarity opened her mouth to disagree, only to stop after a moment. If she were to be honest with herself, she didn't trust the mare. She knew she wasn't a real threat -not without any magic and a broken leg at the least - but and still didn't trust her. At least not with something that would be eaten. The last time she saw the mare with an apple was when she was throwing Applejack into a pile of buckets. After a moment passed with these thoughts, she was ready to speak again. To tell her that, "of course she trusted her" and put her at ease. Unfortunately however, Trixie had noticed the pause.
"Trixie's point is proven. You do not trust her. Therefore it is in your best interest to have snacks."
"Ooh! Ooh! Can we get those little fruit snacks? The ones with the parasprites and the hydras?" Pixie asked excitedly. Her earlier worry gone.
"In my best interest?! How could it be in my best interest to cater to your every-"
"And make sure you get some of those "Creatures of Equestria" fruit snacks." She said, not really paying attention to the somewhat outraged mare across from her as she continued to think of more.
"Now see here!" Rarity shouted, commanding attention of those in the room and causing Pixie to hide under Trixie. "I am not your maid. I am not your waitress and I am not your servant. This is my home and you will listen!"
Trixie opened her mouth to speak up against the angry mare only to find her mouth being held shut by Pixie as she hung from the taller mare's muzzle, shaking her head quickly. With a roll of her eyes, she obliged the frightened filly and keeps her mouth shut as Rarity took a deep, calming breath.
"Now, look. I will prepare us a nice meal at about six thirty every night. If you cannot make it till then there will be a small amount of snacks in the cupboard that I will grab tomorrow morning. However! they will be limited. Therefore, when you run out, that's it for a while. I've learned that a pony that had been in your condition shouldn't eat too much until your body is used to eating proper meals again. So in case you want to know why I'm enforcing such rules you can just keep that in mind."
"...fine." Trixie grumbled. It wasn't really a loss but it certainly wasn't a victory. Not to mention that the mare could very well be right. Oh, she'd definitely ask for an actual professional opinion but for now, she'd play it safe. If there was one thing Trixie hated it was being downed by illness. In addition, she already had a broken leg and temporarily useless horn. Well... not completely useless. She could still use it in a fight though it wouldn't do much more than hurt a bit and bug whomever she used it on without the proper use of her leg.
"Excellent!" Rarity exclaimed with a smile. "There are books in the den if you are interested." She offered, attempting to interest Trixie in something other than bugging her. She gave a sigh of relief when the showmare shrugged and made her way into the den, leaving Rarity to work in peace.
Trixie stood in front of one of the bookshelves in the den, scanning over the titles. 'Romance. Romance. Filly’s book. Beginners magic book. Parenting book.' she mentally noted to herself as she went over them.
"Oo! Oo! Feeding Finicky Foals Foul Foods and Finding Favorable Flavors!" Pixie yelled excitedly as she did a little bounce in front of Trixie.
Trixie skimmed over the book a little and gave the filly a confused look. "This is an instructional book on getting foals to eat healthy."
"Aw...really?" Pixie asked dejectedly. "Not even any funny pictures?" She asked, prompting Trixie to skim through the book.
"Hmm...nope. Purely instructional." She said as she skimmed a little more and closed the book.
"Aw, come on. Why give a boring book a silly title?" She grumbled with a pout on her face.
'Romance, romance, foal, f- ah-ha!' She mentally declared as she pulled a book from the shelf.
"Oo! Oo! What did you find?" Pixie asked as she ran under the open book while Trixie skimmed it. She craned her head and read aloud, "Novice, Intermediate and Advanced Sewing Techniques". But you already know how to sew Trix." The confused filly asked.
"Of course I can sew. But, I might have over-exaggerated just a little, while talking with Rarity. So I want to learn more so she doesn't figure it out. My simple rip fixes aren't going to hold up around here." Trixie explained as and headed over to a pillow on the floor and laid down to continue reading.
"Oh wow. Miss Rarity would be awful happy to know that you're putting effort into learning about it." Pixie said, proud of her longtime friend as she came around to silently read along.
"Too bad she shall never find out. As far as she knows, I'm the best seamstress this side of Ghastly Gorge-"
"Well I don't think you sold it that well"
“-AND I intend to make sure that she doesn't think otherwise." She said, not once looking up from the book as she took the words in. Her mind -always exceptional at visualizing things as a showmare's mind should- imagining every step she is shown. If one didn't make sense or the visualization looked wrong she'd reread it again and again until it did make sense.
About ten minutes into this, Trixie noticed that Pixie hadn't been complaining about anything so she brought her head up but when she looked about the room she couldn't find her anywhere. She shrugged it off figuring the filly simply went off to explore. Pixie never did stay around when she was focused on studies anyway. With that, Trixie once again put all her mental focus on the book.
After what felt like only a few minutes but in reality was around 43 minutes when Rarity called out. "Trixie! Dinner!"
Trixie's head shot up as she looked around and realized that it was time to see if she'd be fed or poisoned.
"Oh, come on. She's not going to poison you. Don't be such a drama queen." Trixie jumped at the sudden voice of her friend causing Pixie to giggle.
Trixie rolled her eyes. "Yes, yes. Laugh at me but you won't be laughing when I'm lying on the ground, foaming at the mouth and she's cackling above my body."
Pixie gave a deadpan stare before sighing and shaking her head. "I take it back."
"See? I knew you would-"
"You're more like a drama goddess! I mean, yeah. We've more than our share of bad ponies." Pixie began, sounding more mature than usual.
"That's for sure." Trixie huffed.
"But! If she were a bad pony she would have left you out there. Besides. Twilight knows you're here. She forgave you after all that happened." She explained, giving Trixie a meaningful look.
After a brief but intense stare off between mare and filly, Trixie sighed. "Fine. Maybe I am going a little overboard."
Pixie rolled her eyes but accepted the answer nonetheless. She knew Trixie better than anypony so she knew she wouldn't get much better out of her friend so she nodded in agreement before jumping on Trixie's back.
"Oof! Warn me before you do that." Trixie grumbled as she carefully put the book exactly where she had taken it from.
"Hehe. Sorry Trix." She said with a genuine smile.
Upon sight of this smile, Trixie soon returned it. "Apology accepted." She said before adjusting her back to make it more comfortable. "Now then. Let us be off. " After receiving a nod in return, Trixie raised her nose to the air slightly and made her way to the kitchen where she remembered seeing a dinner table.
As Trixie entered the kitchens she was hit by a familiar scent. 'She made Prench.' She thought as she walked to the table. She hadn't smelled that in years but the scent would never leave her mind. It was a part of her past after all. Though this certainly smelled of a higher quality than she remembered. With luck, the free meal would taste just as good.
"Good. You're here already." Rarity said with a smile. She was glad that and didn't have to go out and get her but she really wasn't too surprised that the showmare wouldn't hesitate to eat free food.
"Of course Trixie is here. She is neither deaf nor unable to smell." She said with a huff.
Rarity's eye slightly twitched but she took a deep breath and pushed her irritation away. "Of course not. I never said you were. Anyway. I made dinner.
"No. Trixie assumed we were having Prench for breakfast." She joked, earning herself another eye twitch from the fashionista as Trixie sat herself down and very slightly pulled another chair back for Pixie who jumped up on it while Rarity was looking away.
"You seem to have a good nose." Rarity complimented as she finished cleaning up her cooking area. "I didn't even mention that we were having Prench tonight." She said as she brought over the food.
Trixie gives a smug grin. "Trixie thanks you for the compliment. She is pleased that you are starting to see her greatness." As she said this, the smell of the food continues to enter the showmare's nose. Causing her smug grin to change to a content smile.
'If only she'd use that smile more often than that irritatingly smug look'' Rarity thought as she began dishing out the food.
Rarity sat down and the meal began. It was a quiet affair and unlike Rarity's expectations of how a previously starving mare would eat, Trixie ate just as delicately as Rarity herself. 'I wonder if she's trying to show off or if she usually eats like that.'
Trixie on the other hoof was barely keeping herself from gorging herself on the food. 'This is what Prench food is supposed to taste like?!' She thought as she ate. She continued to eat as though nothing was different but her mind continued to work.
"S'it good?" The brown filly asked as she watched Trixie from the smaller chair nearby that Trixie had pulled earlier. Trixie gave a miniscule nod as she ate. "Awesome! You haven't had any since we moved from Prance, right?"
As the filly said that Trixie started to think a little different. 'Hmm. So maybe it isn't her skill so much as me comparing this to the scraps I had way back when.'
"So. How is it?" Rarity asked. She took pride in her ability to cook. Being mostly self-taught, unlike her sister. After all. There is only so much one can learn from a mare that burns half of what she cooks until one realizes that she may not be the best teacher.
Trixie chewed for a few moments. And a few more moments. Almost a minute had passed before Rarity opened her mouth to ask if she had been heard when her guest finally answered. “It is...” Trixie began slowly, taking another small bite as Rarity found herself slightly leaning forward. “Acceptable.” She said simply.
There was a thud as Rarity’s body went limp, the anticipation leaving immediately. Trixie brought another bite up to her mouth as though nothing had happened as Rarity slowly regained her composure. She took a deep breath before speaking; trying to ensure her irritation didn’t seep into her voice. “Acceptable? Is that all?” She asked, hoping to somehow earn some reason to like the mare across the table from her a little. Just one compliment and it would at the very least alter her outlook on her.
“Yes. Acceptable. You do understand what that means, yes? It means that when it comes to Trixie’s great and powerful palate, this is nothing special but it will do.” She explains without looking away from her food, half gone as it was.
Rarity took another deep breath. However, this time it didn’t seem to help as her irritation grew. “Yes. Great. I understand. I understand that you’ve been nothing but rude to me since you’ve gotten here!” Rarity stated loudly, fed up with the mare’s attitude. She had been attempting to shrug it off for the past day but enough was enough.
Trixie however wasn’t impressed by her show of anger. She had been face to face with an Ursa. Major or minor didn't matter. Those were terrifying. This mare? Not so much in comparison. At least not outwardly. Pixie however was hiding behind Trixie’s chair, huddled up. “Good. Then you understand Equish. Trixie was a little worried that you may be an idiot.”
“Idiot?!” Rarity yelled. She was now truly angry at this mare. She had been pushing her anger down but as things built up more and more she just couldn’t keep it back anymore. This mare needed a lecture, and by Celestia, she was going to give it.
“Trixie said you were NOT an idiot. Learn to listen.” She said as she took another stab at her food, only to hit table instead. When she looked up, she saw the plate float to a nearby spot as Rarity fixed her with a glare. “Taking food away from the hungry isn’t very kind you know.” She said as she used her magic to try to grab the plate, only to miss as Rarity pulled it farther away.
“I’m going to say this once. You will show me some respect. I will NOT care about your condition if you act as though I’m your slave or just some pony you can insult with no consequences. I – against my better judgment- am allowing you to live here. I am your HOST but you are far from a guest. You feel more like some bird that got in through a window and I have to put up with until it stops flying around so I can let it out.” Rarity explained, half of her words being hissed through her teeth.
Trixie now started to become offended. Well…More offended at least. Who was this mare to say such things about her? Not to mention she had just made it official that she didn’t want Trixie around. “So, what? You’ll take away Trixie’s food until she acts better? What would your friends say about this?” She challenged. Having heard about how close all the “Elements of Harmony” were, she expected that this would get through the angry mare’s skull.
That actually seemed to make Rarity falter a little but not for long, though she did seem a little calmer now. “I am not taking your food away for better behavior. I’m merely doing it now so that you’ll actually listen to somepony for once.”
“…Trixie is listening.” She said with a glare and a bit of anger in her voice. She was hungry Celestia dang it and this mare was keeping her from eating.
Rarity opened her mouth, only to realize that she had already said her piece. There was an awkward silence in the room before Trixie spoke again. “Well?”
Rarity sighed and with all the grace she could muster, tried to let herself relax. “I’ve said what I wanted to.” She said simply before setting Trixie’s food back down. The rest of the meal continued in an awkward, still slightly angry silence until the sound of utensils hitting porcelain broke it.
Rarity looked up and, before she was able to get a word out, Trixie had left the room with an unseen filly scurrying behind her. She let out a sigh as her mind worked over what had just happened. ’Good job Rarity. Make sure she hates you in the first day. That’ll make her stay easier on everypony.” Part of her mind said before the other piped up almost immediately. ’She doesn’t deserve this. Any of this. She’s still the uncaring, smug and cruel mare she was. She could care less that you saved her. All she cares about is what she can get out of this. Heck, she’ll probably steal half of your things when she leaves for all you know.”
Rarity shook her head. She actually doubted that would happen. While she didn’t trust the mare, her problems all seemed to come from her personality and attitude. She hadn’t heard of her doing anything quite like stealing or anything criminal. Well, aside from the last horrid time she had come to town: Alicorn amulet in tow. Though, now that she was thinking on it, maybe she was a little harsh. At least with how she said what she did. However, she still kept of the opinion that she wasn’t wrong. ’Still. I could have been a little bit more calm during all that.’ She mused. But the different opinions kept warring with each other. One side saying she deserved almost everything that had happened to her, while another saying some of what happened was CERTAINLY too much. And still another wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe there was a kind mare hiding in there that just wanted somepony to talk to.
With a sigh, she went back to eating alone. She still had a fourth of a plate and didn’t intend to let her cooking go to waste. Though what she wanted was moot with the condition her mind was in. After a few minutes of moving her food around, she merely shook her head and packed it up as leftovers.
Trixie wanted to stomp back to her room. Wanting does not make something happen however as her brace made the act of stomping very much awkward. Therefore, she had to make do with angrily grumbling as she walked. "That mare has some nerve if she thinks I; Trixie will listen to her demands so easily.
Pixie, who had long since calmed down after Rarity's small tirade piped up, much to Trixie's small annoyance. "Well...to be fair to her-" She began, causing Trixie to groan. She loved that little filly but she was always so quick to forgive and forget. Not to mention an irritating habit of siding with the other pony. "You have been a little, tiny, teensy, weensy bit of a jerk face to her."
"Me? How was I a jerk?" She challenged. Sure, she wasn't rolling over like a dog for Rarity, but she really didn't think that she was a real big problem.
"Weeeell...the last time she saw you was...bad. Really bad." Pixie reminded her sheepishly, knowing that Trixie didn't like to be reminded of it.
Trixie grumbled to herself and moved her hoof in a circular motion, indicating for her to go on.
"Right. Well if that was the last impression she had of you then it makes sense that anything you do that annoys her would be seen even worse and more annoying. Like that surfer. Silver something or another. Kept talking about how awesome the waves were while you were trying to drink. He annoyed you, so when you ran into him later and he stopped you to ask for the time, you told him to "Stare at the sun for a while and maybe he'd figure it out.” Basically. He left a poor impression and it stuck. Really, Trix. This is why you always pulled out almost all the stops in new towns. So they'd want you back."
Trixie hated to admit it. really hated to admit it and planned never to do so publicly. However, the filly had a definite point and they both knew it. The ponies of this town obviously had a bias against her and acting as she was only hurt her. Which meant that keeping her attitude against Rarity that she had been a poor idea and continuing would only lead to more problems.
”You know I’m right.” Pixie said with a bit of a smug smile, knowing that Trixie couldn’t disagree. She was quickly proven right as Trixie grumbled under her breath and continued to walk forward towards her room, choosing to ignore the sound of filly laughter
Trixie couldn't sleep. She had been trying for hours. The bed was comfortable for sure, she was certainly tired enough, it was pleasantly quiet and Pixie had long since curled up against her barrel. It was cute but it also meant that Trixie didn't have anything to blame her inability to sleep on.
'Ugh... Trixie groaned as she tried adjusting herself. It didn't help. Her mind was just too busy. Usually her mind did this when a show didn't go over well. She'd go over who was in the crowd, their reactions to her different tricks. Then she'd figure out which they liked and which they didn't. The slight of hoof tricks almost always went over good when she had her hat off, proving that no magic was used. This however. Was different. These weren't tricks. She could just drop a trick from her act if it had gotten stale. The issue now was herself. How she had been acting and treating Rarity. She wouldn't admit anything, but "hindsight is twenty-twenty" as they say.
After a little more adjusting, she groaned and carefully got up. Pixie merely fell back on the bed, still asleep when the showmare, usually so good with her hooves, missed catching her. Luckily, the filly stayed asleep as Trixie threw her brace on with at least some ease for once and made her way out of the room.
The house was boring in the daytime on its own and Trixie was finding it as interesting as a show without a hook at night. Sure there could be entertainment there but she just wasn't interested enough to find it. She sighed as she found herself in the main room again, surrounded by couches and books. With nothing else to do and sleep evading her at every turn, she lit a small candle and pulled out the book she was reading earlier. Sure, there might have been something more interesting on the shelf but she had already started reading this one and, much like her acts, once she started one, she intended to finish it.
Rarity awoke groggily. Her mind had continued buzzing late into the night and the bags under her eyes proved it. The mid-morning sunlight only making them more prominent. 'A lady is not lazy. No matter how nice the idea of more sleep may seem.' She thought as she got out of bed.
Her usual routine of maintenance went as though slogging through mud. Slow and tedious but it wasn't something she was willing to ignore. A morning ritual if ever there was one. A shower followed by making her coat, mane and makeup look the best she could. Followed up by a double and triple check to ensure her looks. With a smile and nod to her reflection, she went downstairs to the kitchen.
Rarity was just about to turn the corner when something caught her eye. A bundle of blur on the floor living room. She cocked her head slightly as she entered. Her eyes widened in surprise as she came to find Trixie curled up on a reading pillow with a book nearby. Rarity picked it up to look at it. As she looked between the book and the mare whom had been reading it. Her mind was quickly putting together an explanation for what she saw and, honestly, it put the mare in a better light. Slightly better. As if she were correct, it meant Trixie had lied to her face. 'But she does seem to at the very least be trying to learn so that's something.' She thinks with a sigh before placing the book back where she found it. 'The best course of action now is to just pretend I didn't see this, I suppose.' She thought as she left the room. She may still be more than a little angry with her but, much like earlier at the hospital; she decided to handle this like she would rainbow dash. Meaning that hurting the pride of the showmare would do nothing but make things worse.
She made her way to the kitchen with one last thought. 'Shame she's such a pain. She's quite adorable while sleeping. Much quieter too.'
So...Yeah. Hi again. Finally got myself to write stuff up. God I'm easily distracted. Sorry folks. This hasn't been edited, then again. Neither have any of my other chapters.
Uhmm....Enjoy?
Also PLEASE, please, please, please comment your thoughts on it. I really appriciate the feedback.
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4233050 Believe me, if done right, this is a good shipping!
Please tell me the next chapter won't take this long to go up.
Nonetheless, I love this story and the ship!
4587027 No. I'm DEFINETLY going to get it out earlier this time. It'll be a shorter one but I think y'all will like it anyway.
I think you portray Trixie better than I do
I really like where this is going, if it's not much to ask, update soon!
Yay! An update.
*reads*
So, Trixie has to learn to curb her attitude. I like Pixie though. I doubt it, but it would be interesting for something to happen so Rarity will see her, even briefly.
Oh, nice, an update!
Story and character development continues at a careful pace, which I think is good - so many stories of this sort rush it. Both Rarity and Trixie are stubborn, yet admit that they have to make an effort to get along; Rarity considering that Trixie might deserve at least another chance, and Trixie realizing that Rarity will treat her better if she makes an effort to be likeable. Good; I've never understood why some people seem to think that extreme stubbornness is an admirable trait. (I also don't understand why some writers think that Trixie is completely without social grace, given that her chosen profession is all about winning other ponies' admiration.)
There's some tense irregularities at the start, with the story slipping into and out of present tense, which should be corrected. Pixie's lines are sometimes red and sometimes brown, and a few of them have a square bracket at the start of the line.
Hope to see more soon.
4591382 Fuck. Thought I caught all the tense fuckups. My bad. If you'd be willing to throw me a PM with the fuckups I'll gladly and quickly fix them.
Colors are fixed.
It was the difference between
Color=Brown
and
Color=#(whatever number they had labled brown)
4592967 I can do that, sure.
4593056
Got it. Thank a bunch.
I was writing for fun on the side in a different tense and it weaseled it's way into my writing.
4595223 No probs.
Is Pixie supposed to be Trixie's consonance? just wondering because writing in red text makes me think she is some kind of demonic creature. Might only be me tho.
Good work this is getting rather good and i think it only gonna get better.
~Tobben
4598170
Funny thing is...That's brown.
color=brown shows up like this
like her coat color.
Good, very good. Both are stubborn as all hell... which makes sense here. I do hope both ladies learn to compromise. Far too often it's "Trixie is completely in the wrong and must change everything about her to meet the demands of the other pony". I am... not a fan of that.
Also, love Pixie.
Classic case of sexual tension.