• Member Since 8th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 15th, 2020

Martian


He's just this guy, you know?

T
Source

Sometimes you just have to remember who they were...

-- Cancelled --

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 214 )

“Scars as old as some of mine need to be opened from time to time ... They remind me of just who I am.”

Those of us who are older than the average member here know JUST how true that really is.

It's pretty, but it feels incomplete, and kind of hollow...

...ah! I'm an idiot. Of course it feels incomplete. I should've checked how it was tagged before I downvoted it.

Sorry, the chapter itself reads like a one-shot, so I got confused. Okay, I'll take my downvote back and track this instead.

2389940
The hell are you talking about?


That was pretty emotional man, I hope there's more on the way.

I love Celestia stories. The trouble is, it's tough to find ones that can even begin to capture the inner workings of this goddess that all of Equestria seems to take for granted. Whilst everyone else fawns over Luna, I'm a strong believer in the princess of the sun; I think she has so much more depth than many have even realized.
She's a wonderfully complicated character, and I'm interested to see where you could take this.
Write on, my friend. Write on.

2389940
Verily. I know I am just starting to get to that ranking, and that line made a whole lot of sense for me. :twilightsmile:

2390264
Well, it kind of is a one-shot SoL chapter. This just felt like a story that needed to be addressed piece by piece, though without a particular goal... Not really sure how to explain it. :twilightsheepish:

It was just an exercise to break out of a 6-week drought, though I feel it can become a bit more now that I am feeling good about it.

2390521
I think there is. I can go places with this that I couldn't comfortably venture with the original 'Memoria'.

2390601
To be quite honest, writing her is frightening... but for some reason, it is the challenge that made me want to break my writer's bock.

Trying ti glimpse her 'voice' for writing is not unlike watching a quiet sea. It all seems calm and beautiful, but there is such depth...

This was rather well done. I would not mind seeing more of this at some point in the future.



2389940

Don't need age. You just need the willingness to look back, no matter how much it hurts.

It's impossible not to speculate on the weight immortality has on Celestia and Luna (and the other princesses? We honestly don't have enough canon to know how this works.) What's you've done here that is so wonderful is written a very honest story, that doesn't flinch away from the sadness that is implicit with being burdened with such a life, but staying away from the trap of making things a maudlin pity-party (I scrapped my own attempt at such a story with Luna for just such a reason. I might try again someday... the theme fascinates me.) There are tears here, but maybe they're welcome tears?

Oh, and your trepidation about dialogue - you needed have worried. They were both very natural, with the open-minded curiosity that makes Twilight endearing, and the wisdom laced with mischief that makes me love Celestia so. Bravo, sir.

For what I just read now I have a very strong feeling that I'm really going to like this fic seeing as I tend to lurk for stories that have Celestia as a main character with her inner turmoil. You also get an extra internet cookie for being Twilight the one to console her for wile Twi is best pony and Celestia is best princess :pinkiehappy: (current chances are applied :rainbowwild:)

I don't know where you're going with this, but I know what I WANT.

Already, this seems like nothing more than a strong start to a collection of stories. The balance of descriptive elements and mood-shaping bursts of imagery is just great in all its ways, and suddenly what was nothing more than a collection of celestial bodies up in the sky is something more, each potentially holding their own story and tale to be told.

And maybe this isn't what you intended, but the truth is, I feel that there's a lot more we need to know about these characters in Celestia's past. I find myself drawn into them through the masterful use of your typically good setting and scene, but with the added bits of dialogue and whispers of echoes, it really feels like the beginning of something quite a lot more.

Short, but very enjoyable. Very well displayed, as I always expect from you. Mood and tone just oozing off to be scraped up and put in my mind-bucket.

Keep going!

Loved it! would really really appreciate more chapters!

Comment posted by Martian deleted Apr 8th, 2013

Fantastic first chapter. I look forward to seeing where this goes.

Another GREAT chapter! I absolutely LOVE your writing style. Although the chapters are still a little too short for me it is still a great pleasure to read them.
(Still good sized chapters though!)

I'm glad you decided to continue the story :twilightsmile:
I found it refreshing that you actually made Luna admit that all that happened wile she was Nightmare Moon she was still herself and not some evil possession that took over her. Bonus points for not going to the pity route most authors pick when dealing this issue and ending making the chapter about her.
On another note why the hay are smilies of photo finish and trixie but not luna?
Anyway good chapter and keep up the good work

And... featured. Bravo Martian.

My faith is rewarded. Yes, this will be much better than I had feared it would be, back when I misinterpreted the first chapter as a one shot. It had seemed pretty, but vapid. It is still pretty, but now it is apparent that there is weight to it. Moreover, it is clear that the weight deserves to be there, and that you are not just making up sad things for the purpose of making up sad things.

That is actually a problem in this fandom. I do not understand why. Deliberately writing sad stories is no new art, but in most contexts it is certainly not a genre in its own right.

Is this going to be a Twilestia fic? :D

Well, you've got my attention. Definitely looking to see where you take this. :twilightsmile:

Is this set after Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy have all passed on?

I see that Mrs. ShadyOak has got one of the good libraries. The kind with connections.

When the graveyards are filled with friends and lovers by the hundred stretching back not just decades, not even just centuries but for millennia, the wounds are terrible indeed.

2394935
Actually, no: they are simply not part of this story. I suppose I should make that clear in the next chapter. I did mention that it has only been four days since her coronation, but it might have gone unnoticed. :twilightsmile:

2394795
I am glad I proved to be worthy. :twilightsmile:

YOU HAVE PROVEN YOURSELF WORTHY.

*Clicks the favorite button.*

ANOTHER!

As gently as possible, I've gotta say your story REALLY needs a better description than that. While single-line descriptions are eye-catching, it tells us nothing about what its actually about, and many might skip over it from lack of a hook. :pinkiesad2:

2396072

I think it works, it's simple, to me the image got my attention. I LOVE stories with Twilight and Celestia.

2395287 A particularly sobering statement, but a true one. It's a wonder that Celestia hasn't been driven insane by the countless bereavements she must have suffered through her long life. The only way you could avoid it would be to lock yourself away from any sort of contact with the outside world, never making friends or forming any sort of relationship, no matter how trivial. Such is the price of immortality.

2396201 The description and picture imply a generic sadfic. Many will pass it over.


I don't think those references are really called for in a story like that.

“As Nightmare Moon, I slew my sister’s lover, then laughed as she wept over the body.”

...

Holy shit... That's... She's... Holy fucking shit. I think I might just be afraid of Nightmare Moon now...

I'm going to run away now.

I'll just leave this here too.

2396072
I am with you on that. Generally, I try to keep the desc simple, but that is a habit from writing fairly one-dimensional one-sots.

How about now? :twilightsmile:

2396547 That illustrates a frequent contentious issue with stories like these. They assume that everyone has the same personality and will deal with loss in the same way.

Given that this is manifestly not true, all 'loss' stories should be based on more individualistic character viewpoints rather than broad population-based generalizations.

2396398 Hmm, now this present an internal logic problem. If Nightmare Moon was a cold-blooded murderer, does it seem at all likely that Celestia would have allowed the Bearers (6 young, naive, inexperienced mares) to face her, given that SHE KNEW THE EXACT TIME NMM would escape, and the high likelihood that this psychotic monster would simply kill anypony who got in her way? And then, given that risk, NMM would be victorious and night would last forever.

Remember, NMM knew they were going after the Elements of Harmony. If she were a killer, she'd have simply slain one or all of them and eliminated the risk to herself. If she were the same villain we see in this story, she'd have killed one of them (most likely Twilight Sparkle, the Faithful Student of Celestia) and mocked the rest of them and Celestia with her death, maybe getting a little creative about how she rends the body apart, playing marionette with the limbs and internal organs. :pinkiesick:

One must always consider how altering the past to paint a darker picture of events would play out in the present-day canon.

2396777
Well, that's the bit when fanon and canon veer sharply away from one another.

I needed this fic to have a slightly darker tone than canon would have allowed, to really drive home the point that NMM is a genuinely terrifying figure in their folklore for a reason.

If I were to go into an explanation, I would likely use her arrogance and complacency as the excuse: she didn't feel threatened enough by the little marshmallow Mane 6 to warrant wasting the effort in killing them. But, that's not the topic for this story and I really don't see it being addressed. It is just atmospheric. :twilightsmile:

2396807 It's not generally a good thing set contrivance within the story simply for the sake of mood.

That's why I vehemently despise "Avatar", after all... well, one of the many reasons...

Araby...
is this a refrence to that song The Sheik of Araby?

2397156
I wish I could lay claim to having heard such a classy song. Jazz is :heart:

No, I had actually just watched Master and Commander, and a comment made was how the Acheron was full of 'gold and ambergris, and all the gems of Araby."

Just struck me as a fun way to describe something valuable. :twilightsmile:

2397175
Ah, they must have been referencing the song. I take it you heard it, then.
It's very classy, as you mentioned. I like it.

Featured! Hot damn, mate! Kudos to you! :raritywink:

Is it wrong of me to hope this turns into a Twilestia fic? :duck:

You've really discovered a new style for yourself here, with this... and I think it suits you. It's more 'lean' and direct than your one-shots, but for this story, it is entirely appropriate. There's just enough description to give shading and color to what's going on, but mostly this stuff just MOVES. I'm not in any way a speed-reader, but I honestly blew through this in what felt like moments.

Damnit, did you have to hit me with Sad!Luna though? Now I want to write a one-shot of her getting random hugs, the poor thing....:raritydespair:

Without exaggeration, though, this is among your finest work already. Enjoy the feature box, sir - this definitely BELONGS there.

This is moving a bit quick and skippy, while the chapters are quite short.

That being said, what is written is written exactly the way it should be. Keep doing what you're doing–just more of it before posting.

I liked the aside about StarSwrill, his love of drink, the idea his last mess is preserved, and Twilight's thoughts on his mental state in relation to his hats. I like the pacing and length of the chapters, and the overall concept of Twilight wanting to "complete" the information about the ponies that are the namesakes of the planets in Equestria's star system, it suits her personality. Also like to see you picking to use the WoG about Luna's time in the Moon, no thousand years of madness, just a few moments of confusion. Read a few fics that deal with the idea she was aware the whole time but few dealing with Lauren's intention that she wasn't.

I am somewhat confused as to the time period this takes place. You said that Twilight had spent a few months in the observatory seven years ago last chapter, however in this chapter you say Luna has only been back for two years.

“Those names... they carry a great burden in my sister. But you have to understand, Twilight: what has been a thousand years for Celestia has only been two years for me.”

So Twilight was un-ascended during her campout? Just trying to get a 'when' in my head for all this. Originally openned it thinking it would be somewhat Twilight centric (with her friends passed) though that doesn't seem to be the case. Story is still very entertaining.

2400867
This is taking place only three days after the Coronation episode. I tried to include that in the first chapter, but you're the third person to mention being confused. :twilightblush:

Twilight could certainly understand the want to just be known by her given name though; three days into being a crowned princess and the young librarian was still quietly horrified when anyone bowed to her or used her new title... and that was a thought.

I think I'll make a little adjustment to that part to clear it up. :twilightsmile:

The reason I read this fic was because the description made it sound practically identical to my fic "Immortal?"

This is like... a billion times better and about 1.5 times as popular.

In the end though, they are two very different fics.

i am completely fascinated with the mythos and ancient history of equestria. it's great how you've taken a darker approach to its past. mlp is great and all, but all the bright love-dovey-ness of it all becomes overdone (yes, it's a children's show... i can only hope :rainbowlaugh:).

you craft a perfectly believable world within canon, in my opinion, and i look forward to future chapters.

I was hesitant to read this since there are so many other fics that go into this topic and make things too damn angsty. You did well with this, you are spot on with the characters and so far haven't made this an angst fest.

Also... saw the rules of the library, I see someone has been reading Discworld

2403002
>Suggesting that there are people who do not read discworld. :twilightoops:

Login or register to comment