• Published 8th Apr 2013
  • 947 Views, 59 Comments

The Unwilling Command - Chryo93



When Changelings invade Canterlot, the Princesses execute a plan to bring their subjects to safety long enough to prepare for a war the likes of which Equestria has not seen for many years...

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Let The Games Begin

The human brain is and advanced mechanism, whose functions typically revolve around keeping the body. This normally includes a decision-making process in which pros and cons are weighed before and action is carried out. The other side of that is usually implemented as a form of retribution for failure to make the safer decision.

Hangovers are one such form of retribution, which come from failing to recognize the risks involved with imbibing in too much alcohol. They consist of migraines, continued balance problems, and nausea. I was about to learn that the hard way,,,


I awoke on the couch in Club PON3's manager's office for the second time in a row. However, this time was a bit different. As my hangovers normally consist of light sensitivity and dizziness, I was in a state of disarray that I failed to remember the important details from yesterday's events.

Like the fact that my aura sight had been given magical steroids...

Did you know that being able to see auras through closed eyes also means that light sensitivity carried over to that same second sight? I didn't, so I stumbled through the club, desperately looking for my glasses while being blinded from below by the Earth's leylines. I opened my eyes briefly to shut off the lights from below, only to walk headfirst into the closed door to the office. I groaned as I gripped the handle and opened the door, wandering drowsily out to the main floor. I didn't see anyone in the immediate area, but walked to the bar to get myself a glass of water. I made it two steps before I felt something slam into my back. I met the floor with a resounding crack, feeling whatever it was that hit me still lying on top of me. I finally caught the smell of blueberries and smiled slightly.

"Morning, Miss Scratch..." I muttered into the floor.

Vinyl lifted herself off of me and started spouting off a series of rapid apologies which I could barely understand. I was actually happy... to hear... her voice? Fuck me. Rule 27: no relationships with contract clients until the job is done. The problem with that, however, was that I didn't know how long the contract had been signed for, if it had been at all. I felt her small hands grab me by the waist and lift me up. I steadied myself, rubbing my head to alleviate the throbbing that had begun to arise from my sudden meeting with the hard floor. I felt myself being guided to a vaguely familiar spot in front of the DJ station.

"Wakey, wakey, Bass Drop!" I heard Vinyl's voice over the speakers. I looked up to see her standing at the station, her aura showing traces of mischievous intent. "The Princess said we have places to be!" I heard the whirring of gears and noticed a blue glow in front of me.

I groaned as I finally realized why this spot was so familiar. Hangover be damned, I can move fast when I want to, and I wasn't going to be on the business end of a bass cannon. I started towards the door, remembering how loud the music was when I fired it up the day before. I was too slow, however, since the concussive force of the cannon lifted me off my feet and flipped my over the same couch that Vinyl had been sent over when I woke her up.

"It's too early for this shit!" I yelled as I hit the floor again. My head started spinning, my sense of direction hopelessly compromised by my position. I squeezed my eyes shut, barely noticing the speakers powering down. When I opened my eyes again, I saw a slightly disheveled Vinyl Scratch standing over me, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. "Sadist..." I grumbled, as I attempted to stand, failing miserably.

Vinyl's grin only widened as she positioned herself on top of me, trapping my legs. "What do you mean, it's too early? You've only been asleep for ten minutes!" I blinked when she said this. How could I have been asleep for only ten minutes and still have a hangover? I should have been plastered at that point. Then I remembered 'Right, deities from another dimension... Luna probably purged my system of the alcohol while I was asleep.

I returned my full attention to Vinyl, who had moved her face closer than I would have normally been comfortable with. "Uh, son't we have work to... mmph!" I was cut off when Vinyl slammed her lips into mine. I don't really think my brain was ready for sober Vinyl trying anything like this, since I only stared dumbly at her when she released my mouth. "Don't we have to open the club?" I asked quietly, trying to catch a breath that I didn't know had been lost. She still tasted like blueberries, but I still had that annoying voice in the back of my head spouting off Rule 27 like there was no tomorrow.

"Hmm, nah." She replied with a smirk, still straddling me. I tried to push myself up, but she grabbed my arms and pinned them to the ground. "Uh-uh. You're gonna give me the attention I deserve."

I sighed, cursing my luck as I felt myself succumbing to the temptation of meeting one of my three basic needs. "One. This is not an appropriate location to be doing that." I started, feeling Vinyl's hands travelling south. "Two. Since one of us is not fully consenting, this is... OI! GET OUT OF THERE!" Vinyl had managed to unbutton my pants and was trying to pull them off, but I was trying to still be professional. I really wished that she wasn't so attractive, then this would be way easier. I thought of the only thing that might save me before I got into trouble. I yelled at the top of my lungs, "MISS OCTAVIA! I NEED AN ADULT!"

I only had to wait a few seconds before I felt myself being dragged out from under Vinyl. I scrambled to put my pants back on, watching as Vinyl tried to push past Octavia. I would have run, but I was being held in place by Vinyl's magic. She really was determined to get into my pants. I thought that it was supposed to be the other way around. Then I remembered something, a detail that would have normally not applied to humans, but Vinyl and Octavia were not originally human.

"I'm terribly sorry about this, Mister Cross!" Octavia said loudly as she held Vinyl back. "The Princesses never told us that some of our... other traits would carry over to this world." My eyes widened as my suspicions were confirmed. "Yes, she is, fact, in heat."

Those words are scarier than anything that I'd ever heard. I frantically tried to pull my legs free of the telekinetic grip they were in. I felt a strong tug in my gut again, and felt the force disappear. I didn't take the time to ponder this phenomenon. Instead I sprinted for the door and called over my shoulder, "Call me when she's sane again!" I made my way outside, jumped into my car, and locked myself in.

I thought about the situation I was now in and tried to work out a suitable course of action. 'The Princess could have at least given me come sort of warning...'

'And where would the fun be in that?'

Great, she could hear my thoughts now... Invasive bitch...

'That's not a very kind way to think of somepony, especially if they are simply trying to help.' Celestia's voice echoed in my head.

I figured she would come back to either interfere or help at some point, so I started the stream of questions. 'Answers. NOW' I said mentally. If Luna was right, then Celestia could at least give me a more acceptable rundown of my new situation.

I heard a sigh before Celestia began to speak to me again. This telepathy nonsense was starting to freak me out more than a little bit. 'Yes, Vinyl is in heat. Unfortunately, I can't stop her attraction to you. That was her choosing.'

'And if she tries to ride me into next week and fails to take the necessary precautions? I'm too young to be a parent, dammit!'

'That is something you will have to sort out with her. Your cousin seems to be taking his situation in a far better manner than you.' Celestia's smirk could almost be felt through the link. I shook my head ruefully.

'Who did you stick Jay with? He's more of a brony than me, and quite open about it, if I may add.' My cousin, Jay, was a bit... odd. He was a gamer, a musician, and he could out-drink me any day of the year. He also seemed to have so much of a multifaceted personality that we considered having him tested. He was a happy kid, but he also had to deal with bullying at his school. Poor kid was only seventeen.

'The Element of Laughter seems to be quite taken with him. She doesn't seem to appreciate the bullies any more than you do.' Oh, gods help him. He could be odd at times, but he was stuck with the violator of the fourth wall? That was a recipe for disaster...

I realized exactly what the new development meant and swallowed nervously. 'Uh, Princess...'

'Yes?'

'My little cousin is an amateur engineer...'

I could hear notes of nervousness tinging Celestia's voice. 'I'm aware of this. What has you so worried?'

I wondered if the Princess could look at mental images.

'I can...'

Mindreading sucks... But I thought back to the last rig that Jay had put together. It consisted of a series of car batteries, conductive metal rods, steel girders, and a dizzying amount of capacitors and delayed circuits.

The crazy fool had built a railgun from scrap. I had a mini-Tony Stark for a cousin, and he had been paired with a character known well for regularly violating the laws of physics.

'We might have a problem' I thought before my phone started ringing. I looked down to see who was calling. Only one person had that ringtone on my phone. 'Speak of the engineering devil, and he shall call...'

I picked up the phone and answered it. "Buona sera, genio folle." I groaned into the speaker. "I was just talking about..."

"Yeah, yeah. Not important, dude. Guess who's in my room right now?!" Excitable little idiot...

"Three guess rule?" I asked, rubbing my brow in exasperation.

"As always!" I could hear slightly high pitched giggling from the other end of the line, which made my hair stand on end.

"Ugh... fine. Bleeding Jesus?"

"Why do you always ask that?" He asked, clearly annoyed.

"I want an apocalypse, dammit. And it's not like Discord is gonna come banging down my door."

Celestia piped up at that. 'You might be surprised...'

'Can it, Princess. One conversation at a time' I didn't catch Jay's answer, but he did tell me to guess again. "Okay... Your new girlfriend? I heard giggling." I grinned evilly before continuing. "Remember, little cousin. No glove, no love..."

"Sh-shut up, Max!" I could picture him blushing up a storm. "Last guess, and make it good!"

Did he always have to be so enthusiastic about things? I practically had caffeine for blood and didn't spaz out as much as Jay. "Va bene. Last guess, you said?" I paused to make him think I was actually coming up with a good answer. "Before I guess, has anyone given you anything that may have, uh, had some unpleasant side effects?"

There was an extended silence on the other end of the line. I finally decided that I could mess with two people at once. What can I say? I'm evil like that. "Also, I'll give you any new video game you want, no rating or price limit, if you and Pinkie grope Celestia."

'You did not just... EEK!'

'That was for the unannounced teleportation, Fireball Flank.' I mentally smirked as I could all but see the look of shock and absolute disbelief on the Solar Princess' face. Jay spoke from the other end of the line, though now he seemed scared. "Uh, Max... Why did I just grope a goddess of the sun? Am I going to die?"

'You must be punished!'

"Jay... Run." I said before hanging up the phone and scrambling out of my car to get back to the club. Between an angry deity and a magic user in heat, I'll take the latter. I slammed through the door to see Vinyl was tied to a chair with several glasses floating around her. "Your Princess wants to kill me!" I yelled as I ran through the club. I frantically untied Vinyl and threw her over my shoulder. I turned to speak to her. "Second base, clothes stay on. No other rules" I could feel the joy radiating off the DJ and also felt something pinch my backside.

"We can do a lot with just second base..." She whispered into my ear. I was too scared to be turned on right now. I had a Princess that wanted to either kill me, or, at the very least, hurt me severely. I felt the ambient temperature rise and turned around to see Celestia glaring at me, her eyes glowing white.

I hate myself sometimes, because I say things that get me in even more trouble than I started in. "You wait your turn!" I yelled, before rushing into the manager's office, which seemed to be the only safe haven for the moment. I set Vinyl down and started blocking the door. Before I made any progress, however, the door was violently removed from its hinges. I looked to Vinyl for help, but she was cowering in a corner, her red eyes wide from fear at the sight of the vengeful deity in the doorway.

I believe the term I was looking for was... Fucked? Yes, I was quite fucked.

'You would dare to treat royalty as a mere plaything?!" Celestia thundered. I believe at that moment I pissed myself, be it from fear or the fact that the angry woman in front of me just generated a 4.5 earthquake from her yelling. "I will show you the error of your ways!" Duck and cover had never seemed so sane, since I managed to cram my entire body under the desk in the office.

'Please don't kill me, please don't kill me...' I thought as I waited for either divine wrath and excruciating pain, or blissful silence and death. I felt a strong force take hold of my body and try to pull me from my hiding spot. I stubbornly grabbed onto the desk, holding on for dear life. I didn't know this at the time, but the desk itself weighed three hundred pounds and was bolted to the ground. I weighed a little over two hundred and I was currently airborne. My chances of survival seemed very slim at this point.

Suddenly there was a loud bang from the main floor. I thought it might be a gunshot, but it wasn't one I was familiar with. I felt the magical grip release and saw Celestia turn around rapidly. I looked once again to Vinyl, and now she was borderline catatonic, so she wouldn't be any help. I pushed my way past Celestia and quietly took up a position behind a wall. I peeked out from my hiding spot to see several men in suits, none of which looked very happy, storming around the club, holding strange devices that gave off the occasional loud beep. I felt a presence behind me and turned around to see Celestia no longer angry, but worried.

"Not friends of your's, I assume?" I asked bluntly. Celestia shook her head in response. "Joy..." I watched as the men began to progress towards our location. I cursed myself for not grabbing my coat while I was in the car. Then I remembered my knife, or rather knives, that I had hidden all over my person. I gripped the handle of my combat knife and poised myself to charge, but Celestia shook her head. I released the knife and looked out to the floor again. I still didn't have my glasses on, so I could see their auras, even through the walls, albeit less clearly. I counted seven of them, two were maintaining their positions near the entrance, two were in the sound room, one was on the stage, and the last two were wandering around the main floor.

Celestia whispered to me, "I don't believe you have figured out any magic beyond your second sight, have you?" I shook my head, not bothering to correct the "magic" comment. I saw one of the men advancing directly towards us, but it appeared he hadn't spotted us in the dimly lit hallway just yet. "I will deal with him." Celestia said quietly. I saw her hand glow, and hear all of the devices beep loudly. My eyes widened and I smacked her hand down, trying to be as quiet as possible.

"They're still here!" The nearest suit called out, moving closer to the two of us. I slowly pulled out a smaller throwing knife. I flipped it so the blade was in my hand, ready to throw. He was less than ten feet away, and his device started going crazy.

I pulled my arm back and threw the weapon, watching it fly through the air to embed itself in his throat. That was now two people I'd killed defending these foreigners from a different dimension. Oh how I wished I could use Celestia's so-called magic. I pulled out another knife and my combat blade, ready to go crazy, when I heard a very distinct gunshot. I peeked my head around the corner to see one of the suits holding a Glock, pointing it to the ceiling and the muzzle still smoking. 'That's just not fair...' I thought as the men returned to the main floor, all with their weapons drawn. They almost reeked black ops or government, so I kept myself in the shadows. 'Is Octavia safe?' I thought toward Celestia.

She nodded. 'She is in the office with Vinyl as we speak.'

My eyes narrowed as I thought of a plan. I could try to take out all six remaining men, but that would leave me open to getting shot. I glanced to the dead man and spotted the grip of a pistol poking out from under his jacket. I didn't think I could make it without being seen, since he was still in the brightly lit main floor. Then I remembered my aura sight...

'Get her and Vinyl ready to run. I'm gonna try something stupid.'

Celestia's eyes widened, as she had obviously been listening to my plan. I positioned myself next to the light switch for the main floor, then nodded to Celestia, who crept back into the office. I put my smaller knife away, and took a deep breath. 'Eyes, don't fail me now...'

I looked around the club, creating a mental map of what I would need to avoid, then I reached for the light switch. I would need to avoid close contact with the armed men, but I would also need to get any credentials or some other ID off the dead one. I swallowed my nerves, muttered a prayer, and killed the lights.

The whole club went dark.

I could hear the panicked shouts of the men near the front, but I was patting down the dead man for anything I could find. I took his Glock and turned off the safety. I took aim at on of the closer auras, aiming for where I thought the heart was, and fired. I saw the aura blink out almost instantly. This little trick was coming in handy, but I needed to move. I felt my eyes adjusting to the dark quickly, my normally painful light sensitivity acting as a blessing in disguise. I moved toward the couch nearest to the DJ station, and aimed at another one of the auras.

Before I could fire off a shot, however, I felt myself being dragged back towards the office. I craned my neck to see Celestia's glowing aura flaring as she telekinetically pulled me inside. I then felt the tug of teleportation, and suddenly we were outside, directly next to my car. I didn't question Celestia, I just opened the driver's side door, jumped in, and started the engine. I flipped the NOS control panel open, and also turned on my GPS.

"Get us to Los Angeles!" Celestia ordered from the back seat. I looked around to see Vinyl riding shotgun and Octavia sitting almost ramrod straight in her own seat. Celestia was gripping the "oh shit" handle, knowing what was about to come.

"LAX, or...?" I started.

"YES!" She screamed in the Royal Canterlot Voice.

I slowly pressed down on the accelerator, driving towards the freeway, knowing the Suits would be after us before long. As soon as we were near the 101, I slammed the dreaded big red button. All four of us were slammed back into our seats as we sped towards L.A. I pulled out my new phone, which I'd bought at the mall, and punched in Luke's number.

He picked up almost immediately. "What is it? You break something again?"

"Cut the crap, Luke. Why are there armed men in suits at Club PON3?" I yelled over the car and Octavia's screaming. I switched the phone over to Bluetooth and placed it in one of the cupholders.

"Suits? What are you...?" I could tell he was about to avoid the question, so I cut him off.

"Ehi, stronzo! Se non mi dici cosa sta succedendo, ho chiuso con te!" I started yelling in Italian to let him know I was pissed. "I just had to bust my way out of there and my clients are scared out of their fucking minds!" I didn't need him knowing I shot someone... again.

"Listen, Cross. Just come back to MTA, we can figure this out." His voice was tinged with anxiety and a slight note of desperation.

"Nope. Bye." I hung up on the call. I growled angrily, fuming that the one person who I thought I could trust was now dodging questions. "So, where are we going from the airport? 'Cuz I'm not leaving my car behind."

Celestia sighed in resignation. I waited while we tore past L.A. and I started looking for the turn-off to go to Vegas. I wasn't worried about any personal belongings, since the only things I owned were the Titan, my gun, and the Banana-mobile, all of which were with me. All of my money was in the trunk in the form of either cold hard cash or gold. What can I say? I was careful, and cash couldn't be traced when I had to pay for car modifications.

"Who were those men?" Celestia asked as I finally cut the NOS and slowed down to eighty. I remained silent as I dug out the wallet and badge that I'd retrieved from the dead man. I handed both to the Princess as I continued driving, turning off to start in the direction of Las Vegas. I had no intention of staying in Sin City, but it was the first place on the way to Texas that I could feel remotely safe in. The Equestrians and I could easily pass as convention patrons, so I figured that would be a good place to rest.

"Agent Frank Samson, Central Intelligence Agency." Celestia read out loud. Fuck my luck, I'd killed.a fed. As if my day couldn't get any worse.

"Anything else?" I hoped that this guy was at least legitimate. Then I could say that he and his team failed to observe proper investigation practices, like prior notification...

"There's a phone number here." I held out my hand for the number. I took one quick look at it and swore. It was Luke's cell number. I crumpled the paper and threw it out the window. "Why did you do that!?" Celestia seemed alarmed.

I gritted my teeth and slowly responded. "That was my boss' number. He had a hand in this, somehow..." I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Now, assuming you won't tell me where we're going, my current plan is to meet up with my little cousin in San Antonio. He may just be a kid, but he's also an evil genius."

Vinyl looked at me in confusion, as did Octavia and Celestia. "Your cousin?" They chorused.

I raised an eyebrow and looked at Celestia in the rearview mirror. "Yeah, the little brown-haired minor who I told to grope you?" Celestia's eyes flashed dangerously at the mention of that incident. "Jay's my little cousin. Jay Cross, engineer extraordinaire, as he calls himself." I felt a headache coming on again and winced a little in pain. "Hey, Vinyl." She was still looking at me. "Do you see the water bottle in the door slot next to you and the pill bottle next to it?" Vinyl looked over and nodded. "Hand me one of the pills and the water bottle." She opened the medicine bottle and doled out a single pill, which she seemed shocked at. Imagine a throat lozenge, now make it about ten percent bigger. That was the pill I was about to take. 1600 milligrams of ibuprofen did wonders for my headaches, which had become more frequent since Celestia had given me her little "supplement."

"What is that?" Octavia gasped as I held the pill between my thumb and forefinger.

I threw the pill in my mouth and took the water from Vinyl. I washed it down without too much trouble. "Ibuprofen. Makes my headaches take a vacation for a few hours at a time." I finished the water and dropped it into a trash bag in the back seat, still not taking my eyes off the road. "This is gonna be a long drive, ladies. You might want to get comfortable. We have a little over two hundred miles to cover."

Author's Note:

To Sin City! I did manage to break a minor writers block a few hours ago, and just let the ideas pour forth.

I will tell you all, those feds... Not really feds. I'll try to think of a suitable proverbial "cookie" for whoever guesses who sent the fake suits.

Please review, and as always, I will try to make the story better. I am making plans to go back to the earlier chapters and remove the "Mary Sue" factors to the best of my ability. If anyone can help, please do!

Translation-

Ehi, stronzo! Se non mi dici cosa sta succedendo, ho chiuso con te- Hey, asshole! If you don't tell me what is going on, I'm done with you!

I love Italian... It makes saying nasty things sound so poetic.

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