• Member Since 3rd Apr, 2013
  • offline last seen June 16th

I am not a Dalek


A 21 year old Brit who loves all the stereotypical things like Tea and Doctor Who. I'm original. Definitely.

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Apple Bloom invites a Pegasus to the club house and Scootaloo begins to feel like she's being replaced by a Pegasus who can actually fly.
Can the Crusaders, with the help of some other ponies, convince Scootaloo that she can't be replaced or will it be too late?

Edited by the brill Time Pony Victorious!

Chapters (22)
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Comments ( 353 )

A nice little fanfiction so far.

great story found so far, found a tiny typo

soon enough my friend will not even want me.

should be 'friends' (i think)
this is at the bottom of the third to bottom paragraph.

I loves it...I LOVES IT :flutterrage::pinkiecrazy:

2377169 oh! Thank you! I shall change that :twilightblush:

2377247 wait... you actually... like this? :pinkiegasp: Thank you!

You need to differentiate between her being in the "dream" and the actual person outside.

“Whoa... Scootaloo? Are you okay squirt?” A voice calls to me in my dreams.
I groan and search around, looking for the source of this voice.
“Oh sweet Celestia, please be okay Kid,” the voice echoes throughout my mind, it begins to warp as it travels through the strange dream world which I am in.
My whole body feels heavy, and I am unable to move around this world, it’s as if I am stuck in this one place. Images twist around me as I see Cloud Chaser, sneering in my face, speeding ahead of me, laughing with Rainbow Dash. I see my two best friends.
“We don’t wanna talk ta ya no more Scootaloo.” Apple Bloom laughs.
“Yeah, we want a Pegasus who can fly!” Sweetie Belle chimes in.
“But... you’re my friends!” I cry out as they walk away.
I try to chase after them but my hooves are stuck in the ground, I push and push but I stay right where I am, not even moving a centimetre. I watch in despair as my only friends walk away from me with Cloud Chaser, I knew it! I knew he’d replace me. I call for them but it’s as if they can’t hear me, it’s as if I’m invisible. Invisible. That’s what I am, aren’t I? Invisible.
My body begins to sink into the ground and the world around me gets covered in black spots, as I get swallowed into the ground.
The last thing I hear before I fall into the darkness is a voice saying, “Right, you’re coming home with me until you’re better squirt. It’s my job.”

The phrase is hard to tell apart. I had to reread it a few times to realize that it was during her stages before she goes dark, but can you describe that into more length next time or show it in different style instead of all of the dream being italics? Sorry for being mad about it, I love your work :) Continue

2381567 Oh no I'm not mad! Honestly! I love people helping me! I shall change that a bit now, check back in like 10 minutes if you want to get a clearer understanding... I probably won't add extra text, just change the italics and stuff :twilightsheepish: Thank you though! :raritystarry::heart:

2381567 I'm not sure if that's any better or worse :rainbowwild: I know it's a bit confusing because she thinks its her dream and whatnot!
Honestly though, thank you for the help! I really appreciate it! :raritywink:

2381615
That helped a lot, thank you!

I'm intrigued...definitely wanting to see were this goes

Makes me curious even more :) I can't wait.:pinkiehappy: I'd rather also get an explanation as to why Apple Bloom an Sweetie Belle acted the way they did, but also one from the parents. Why are they so mean? With the fanific called "Families", they were sort of condescending. In another fanfic, there was just mare that seemed quite mean for no reason. Another was showing that they didn't care as much as they thought. What would this bring, I wonder. Maybe Scootaloo has a problem even she has no awareness of, like a disorder that would kill her, and to get rid of the sadness of most likely going to lose her, they ignore her like so to avoid pain? Who knows. I'm very VERY excited!:yay:

2386179 Ah I'm glad you like it :pinkiehappy: I will probably go into explanation about the parents later but its quite hard since its all in her point of view, If you have read the book "A child called it" The mother seems to be in love with her other 3 children but violently abuses the 4th one, even though he's the eldest, I'm not saying scootaloo is being abused but she definitely being neglected... So that's kind of the idea, from what scootaloo can see there is no apparent reason... I am considering doing chapters in others points of view, but I'm not sure, how do you feel about that?

Also, since this is in Scootaloo's point of view, we see everything the way she see's it, so the things Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom do is taken the way Scootaloo wants to take it, so they may not mean to be absolutely horrid towards her, she may just see it that way because she's afraid to lose her friends, she's also paranoid which kind of warps her opinion.

Sorry for the long thing :') Don't judge, I love peoples feedback, how can you improve without others help? Anyway! I'm glad you're enjoying this! Comments like yours are what motivate me to carry on writing! :pinkiesad2:

2386282 I think that you should keep the story from her perspective and incorporate the truth subtly as the story goes on.

Also you should be a dalek.

2386720 Hmm... I see, thank you :rainbowwild: I shall see what I can do :pinkiehappy:

Indeed I should, but they didn't choose me to be converted so life sucks :raritywink:

Thanks for the idea though!

NOW I know she needs help. She's like Paranoid Twilight. She needs therapy bad or the MANE SIX

2392384 Indeed she does need help! Hopefully this chapter explained why she saw Apple Bloom and Sweetie in that way :)

2392526 things will be looking up for her sooon... Maybe... :D

Really liking this so far! :)

2395453 Ah thank you! I'm glad to know some people are actually liking this! The dislikes can get quite depressing but comments like yours always cheer me up! :twilightsheepish:

:ajsmug: It's actually a good idea

2395558 Thank you :pinkiesad2: Sorry, I like to reply to all my comments because I feel bad otherwise :unsuresweetie:

I really like how this is coming along so far. Keep up the great writing! I can't wait to read more!

2395951 Ah thank you! The next chapter will either be up tonight or tomorrow depending on if I start writing soon or not XD

2395456 I know that feeling all too well. :) Keep up the good work. :scootangel:

Awww yeaaa, can't wait for more.

2401852 Ah I was actually just about to start the next chapter :pinkiehappy: I'm glad (and surprised) that you actually like this :twilightsheepish:

2401859 Why surprised? Also, AWWW YEAAAA.

2401864 I don't know, I just never expected people to like my work :P

2401871 But in the end, someone's gonna like it, my story for example, at least 2 people liked it, but dis, DIS, dis good :pinkiesmile:

2401881 Ah, very true... Well honestly, thank you! I really appreciate the time you've given to read this and stuff :twilightsheepish: And comments like yours always give me motivation :pinkiesad2:

Is she going to attempt to do suicide? Seriously, this story will make me draw something strange in my Art Journal.....I LOVEEEEE it.:hearIs the family that bad or is she just describing it? I was actually hoping that she was almost exaggerating:fluttershbad:.

2402418 Ahh, You'll have to wait and see about that :raritywink:

Well the family are quite bad but it is in her perspective so it has been slightly warped, there will be a chapter with her family soon and then you choose whether they're as bad as Scootaloo makes them out to be! :pinkiehappy:

By the way, Thank you for all the support and help you've given me! It has honestly kept me going through out this whole thing! :heart:

2402451
Welcome! Honestly, I thought it would go "there". Most ScootaSOMETHING stories tend to go to the darkside. VERY fast. Its a refreshing feeling to read a Scootadepressed story in which she might get help later on and the family might not be so warped. This is speculation, but maybe she'll actually get help, but when she's really hurt the family will step up to REALLY get involved? Or maybe the light will open up towards the other crusaders? I can't wait! You need longer chapters :D :raritystarry::pinkiehappy:

2402542 Very true, I feel really bad for Scootaloo with all the abuse she gets in all these stories :pinkiesmile:
I will probably start the next chapter now, but I will make it a bit longer because I would like longer chapters too! I normally try and get at least 1000 words so may this time I will go for 3000 :pinkiehappy:
To be honest, I don't have any clue what is going to happen in the end, so I am just as curious as you are, I mean I have a few ideas but they could always change :twilightsmile: :raritywink:

Loving it still. Keep up the awesome work Though, I do hope Scootaloo quits this self-mutilation soon, drawing it out for too long will grow predictable and boring.

I really love this. I love how she seems to describe her sorrow to the point of downing 6 or 7 pills. I almost wish her parents loved her. D:

2404832 Ah thank you :pinkiesad2: And that chapter was really hard to write, I didn't want to make it too depressing however I had to show how she felt so... :rainbowwild:

2404307 I agree that if I draw it out too long it gets boring and stuff, but if I don't draw it out enough it wont give her any credit and it will make it seem like it was just a little phase she went through... but I won't draw her self hate out for too much longer I don't think :twilightsmile:

cool chapter brah, gonna read the next one :pinkiesmile:

What's this and McDonald's got in common? " I'm Lovin' It ", but in all seriousness I'm lovin it. :twilightsmile:

2406852 Ahhh I see what you did there :raritywink: Seriously, thank you! You don't understand what your comments mean to me! :twilightblush:

You know what's funny? My character, from The Mysterious Mare Do Well, is also named Cloud Chaser.

2415252 Oh, I actually haven't read your story... I just used a name generator thing... And even after I started writing this I've seen the name Cloud Chaser being used at least 2 other times...

2415259

I know, I'm not saying you took it from me (it sounds like a fairly common name anyways). I just found it amusing since I was thinking about that story and came across this one.

2415263 Oh right, sorry! :twilightblush: Yeah, it is really common.... It's hard to think of pony names that aren't really...

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