Previous Chapters Next
Close
Mechanism- Brent4,019 words
Monkeying around2,500 words
Poof Vs. Nightmare! 6,830 words
Trollestia Strikes.2,696 words
Sleeping on cows.5,855 words
Sleep over! 4,525 words

Sleeping on cows.

After the whole 'Lavender Heat' incident, Lopez had to stay in the library until Twilight found a way to take the scent off him without A. Getting the exact opposite problem with mares (Although Brent didn't mind...at all) or B. getting animals attracted to him (Doggy style with a manticore? Yeah, didn't think so).

Twilight finally found a 'scent neutralizing' spell and quickly preformed it on him. After a few whiffs the spell was conformed to be working, much to Twilights udder 'squee' face.

'Udder or utter? i've always been confused on that.'

'Udder is cow, utter is...utter.'

'Huh...'

After a while the ponies adapted to Lopez, they still gave him some looks, but they were either tourists, or complete nozzles.

Lopez got a job as a delivery boy and Twilight started her 'research' of him...but that is a story for another day.

Hey and...take a guess at what they called getting instant delivery mail from Lopez.

Take a guess...

...

Ya done guessing? Well, the town coined the term...monke-mail, you read right...monke-mail.

It would be insulting if it wasn't so...well...you just roll with these kinds of things.

Lopez, due to his job, got well antiquated with the ponies of Ponyvillie, and actually the 'foals and fillies' are especially nice to him...take a guess why.

If you haven't guessed why yet, here are the things Lopez buy's with his (impressive for a delivery boy) paycheck.

He bought some expensive gold fabric stuff for Rarity in return for the clothes she made for him.

A very old book collection for Twilight, he tried to get his own apartment, but with some expert debating skills (lecturing him for 4 hours on why it would be more beneficial for him to be of permanent residence in the library, puppy dog eyes, and an offer to just pay for some extensions to the library to better suit his...'differences'.) Twilight convinced him to stay.

He buys apples from Sweet Apple Acres by the bushel. Some candy and other candy apple making ingredients from Sugarcube Corner (you can see where i'm going with this.) and some brochures for hot vacation spots across Equestria...with pictures on them.

Do you really think jumpers pay traveling costs?

So, he fully embraced the 'Poof the magic monkey' bit Pinkie gave him and finally settled down in Ponyvillie (Twilight explained to him that the chances of him ever going back to earth in one piece and not accidentally messing up and making an multidimensional black hole that would destroy everything ever...and that in turn would piss God off...A LOT were about... 232,456,765,213,221...to .1. Plus he liked it here.)

And now he was just delivering his last package of the day. Ever since Stamp Glue-

'Who...the hell names their child 'Stamp Glue'?'

'Don't know bro.'

'What's next, a pony named 'Tax Exemption'?'

Saw his abilities and asked him if he wanted a job, deliveries have been going up, and that means profits going up, and that also means fellow employees getting higher pays, which got him even more popular with the ponies.

"Heys, Poofies!"

And speaking of fellow employees...

"Sup Derps." He said in response.

Derpy, which was actually what she preferred to be called instead of her real name, flew over to the jumper. Her adorable cross-eyed look meeting him.

'I wonder how she got those eyes...'

'Don't know bro, maybe she was born with it?'

'Or maybe she got plowed so hard her brain got all messed up.'

'Not likely.'

"Did you hear about-"

She was interrupted by the ground shaking suddenly.

"STAMPEDE!" Yelled Rainbow out of nowhere.

"Huh, things just got interesting..." Lopez said. He looked over to Derpy to see her bouncing up and down on the ground.

"Th-i-i-i-s i-i-i-s f-u-u-u-u-n!" She said.

Somewhere else Pinkie had to same idea.

'Now if only she could do that to you.'

'Heh, funny guy...'

Lopez looked around to see everypony running around like headless chickens.

'And now they lose their shit, damn, this is actually pretty hilarious. The only one who isn't panicking is Deprs and Pinkie.'

'Your right, it's kinda funny.'

One pony, 'Panic Stricken' if you recall, actually THREW HERSELF THROUGH HER WINDOW to get inside her house.

Lopez started laughing his ass off. When he calmed down he went to take a closer look...

'Cows?'

"Cows."

After a second Lopez shrugged and started falling backwards.

*Fwoosh*

Only to land on one of the stampeding cows back.

Applejack was on one of the cows back's too.

"Hey, AJ!"

Applejack looked to see Lopez chilling on the back of a cow.

"What in tarnation are you doing!?"

Lopez shrugged. "Chillin'."

He looked around to see the entire stampede "you got this?"

She nodded, "Yeah, ah do."

"Have fun."

"Arf!"

"Oh, hi Winona." Lopez greeted the dog.

"Ah would love to stay here an have ah conversation on tha back of ah cow but ah got tah move these ladies along! Bye!"

Applejack pulled out her lasso from outta nowhere, lasso'd the lead cow, and was off.

Mario would of done better.

'Huh, imagine Mario in this place. Be right up his alley.'

'Super Mario Bros: Pony World Portal.'

'Ha! You should pitch that Lopez.'

The cows started to turn, but Lopez still stayed on the random cows back, chilling.

'Got milk?'

Lopez laughed out loud and rolled his eyes.

'Wow.'

Before the cows stopped stampeding, Lopez decided to...well...fall asleep on the cow.

He missed the reason for why the cows stampeded in the first place.

When Applejack saw him fully asleep on the cow, she rolled her eyes and motioned Winona towards him.

She happily yipped and jumped on Lopezs chest, she began a barrage of licks to his face that could drown an ordinary man.

He started to stir and laugh. "Stop it...stop it that tickles!" He grabbed Winona by the sides and sat up straight on the cow, Winona happily barking in his arms.

"Ya fell asleep on Betsy." Applejack deadpanned.

Lopez rubbed the back of his head and gave a sheepish look in response to that.

"Oh...sorry Betsy." He apologized to the cow he was sleeping on.

"It's alright dear, your welcome to lay your head there anytime." The cow said.

'Talking cow...should have seen that coming.'

'I agree.'

"Thank you...I'll take you up on that offer one of these days...now if you'll excuse me...I have to punch out for the day. Bye."

*Fwoosh*

He was laying down on a couch, one that was located in the lounge of the post office he worked in, he stood up and took out his card, went to the thingy you use to punch out your card, and did just that.

Instead of jumping out of the post office, he decided to just walk out, sometimes it's good to just take everything in slowly.

"Hey, Poof." Said a voice from behind him.

He looked back to see a pegasus with a white coat, a darker white mane, and golden eyes. He had a envelop with wings for a cutie mark.

"Yo Ed, how's it going." Lopez responded.

His actual name is 'Express Delivery' but Lopez decided to call him Ed for short.

'Why can't names here actually be one instead of two words put together?'

'I wonder that sometimes too, Brent.'

"Did you hear? Pinkie Pie is throwing a party for Applejack, the mare who saved Ponyvillie!"

"Called it."

"Who didn't?"

Lopez and Ed both laughed.

"So Poof, where were ya? Stamp Glue has an extra special delivery for you."

"Fell asleep on the back of a stampeding cow, you should try it, very comfortable."

Ed just looked at him for a while before bursting into laughter.

"Of course YOU would fall asleep on the back of a stampeding cow. Anyway, Stamp Glue wants to see you."

"Do you know what the delivery is?"

Ed looked around to see if anyone was around, he waived his hoof towards him. Lopez got the hint and moved closer.

"They say it's a cake." He said. Lopez deadpanned.

"Why all the secrecy?" He said quietly.

"You didn't let me finish...they say it's a cake...for Princess Celestia." He whispered in Lopez's ear.

His eyebrows raised slightly. He forgave her a long time ago for that little 'prank' she pulled on him, and all the nightmares of stallions...well just use your imagination. When Twilight gave her the report of his bodies EXTREME reaction to equestrian substances, she personally came down to 'apologize' (half heartily saying 'sorry' while trying to withhold a torrent of laughter.) and when Luna told her about the...nightmares, she decided to offer a...way to repay him for the nightmare's that would leave them...both satisfied, Brent wanted to murder Lopez when he declined, especially when he said 'If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it'...'Whoa oh oh! Oh oh oh! Oh oh-

Moving on.

'I hate you Beyonce...'

'Oh hush.'

"Doesn't she have like, the best cooks ever in her palace?"

"Not this one, an upcoming cook by the name of...get ready for this...'Orgasmic Souffle'...he has made desserts so good that...well, they make you orgasm...HARD, just one bite."

Ed and Lopez looked at each other before bursting into laughter, even Brent.

"Orga- *choke* smic Sou-sou-sou-sou...BWAHAHAHAHA!" Lopez dropped and so did Ed.

'Forget about what I said about these names! His parents must have had a REALLY good knack for clairvoyance, because that is a REALLY weird name for a plumber!'

'I can see it now 'Orgasmic Souffle & son: Fits pipes, toilets, and all other plumbing needs...please don't let the name mislead you, my parents were very spiteful ponies...seriously, why?''

After a good minute of laughing so hard it hurt, Lopez and Ed said their goodbye's, and Lopez went to Stamp Glue to receive the information and package, even though he was off duty, Glue said that he would be payed good because the suddenness of this order.

He took the package and jumped to the specified place to drop off the 'ultimate orgasm cake'.

He was surprised to see an old face when he arrived...and she looked very different.

"Luna!? Is that...you?"

'Damn, it's like she went super saiyan!'

"Verily my friend, it is I." She said, she went up to him and gave him a hug, her face up to his neck because of her power up she had, her horn reaching to his forehead.

He returned the without question, he hasn't seen Luna since the whole Nightmare Moon incident.

"Luna, what happened? You look so...your mane is so...nightish...if that's a word." Luna giggled.

"This form is me to my full power...you fancy the change, do you not?" She said with a smirk.

"Uhhh...yeah, I mean, your beautiful and all...ummm."

'Smooth.'

'Be quite.'

Luna broke his talk with Brent with bump from her wing. "I am relieved to have found somepony-uh...someone that appreciates my company...all of the ponies I have had the pleasure to meet...cower and talk to me like I'm a wild beast about to eat their foals..."

'I'll let you eat my children...or at least what could be my future children.'

'Dude...just...*sigh*'

Lopez put his hand on Luna's shoulder, she responded by leaning on him, he didn't object, but he did blush a little.

'YES! It's finally happening! Hallelujah! PRAISE JESUS! HOSANNA IN THE HIGHEST!'

'...Breeeent! Stop it! Though I do agree with those last parts, but this is what friends do for each other!'

They stayed like that for a couple seconds before Luna moved away.

"My apologies, Shawn. But...it saddens me that my subjects fear me so...I understand their fear and why they act this way...but it still hurts."

"No worries Luna, It's what friends are for...trust me I know, with my kind of memory, and with Twilight constantly blathering on about friendship, it's kind of hard to not know these things."

Luna chuckled before nuzzling him.

'Boner alert!'

'...No Brent.'

'Are you sure?'

"Thank you, now, on to the delivery." She had a devilish smile on her face. "This will work nicely for our plans."

"What...are you going to do with this?"

Luna came closer towards him and whispered in his ear.

"Oh...uh huh...yeah I remember...oh...OH...OH! Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, yeah I see your point but...this cake, from what i've heard, is a powerful thing."

"Just because i've been locked in my moon for 1000 years doesn't mean I lost my edge...be sure for...quite the surprise when you return to Ponyvillie later this week. You should have seen me and her 2000 years ago...this is up there, but I guarantee you its not the worse...well...not until I...tweak it a little." She says.

'Oh...dis gon b gud.'

'Yes, yes it is.'

Luna and Lopez shared a hug before he turned around...Luna tried to get his attention.

"Shawn?"

He turned around.

"Yeah?"

"...Remember what you said to me when we were at the castle where I was brought back?"

"Yeah, any favor it's yours. Why do you ask?"

"Didn't my sister give you a ticket to the Grand Galloping Gala? I won't be attending this one, due to the fact that Equestria is still getting used to the idea of two sisters, and the whole 'Nightmare Moon' incident..."

'Is...she asking you on a date!?'

'I...I don't know! I thi-'

Luna's face grew dead serious.

"I need your help on something...something that has been left unattended for over 3000 years...I must finish something ...and I need your help."

'Well...that options out. Oh well.'

"What is it?" The jumper asked. Luna took a deep breath and looked at him.

"A long time ago...a horrible crime was committed...so horrible that it deserved my direct judgement...and I must deal with the ponies who dealt this crime...I will tell you more when we are on the night of the Gala."

'Ohhh...scandalous.'

"Okay Luna...I'll meet you then."

'It's a date!'

'Wait, what!?'

*Fwoosh!*

Lopez was gone, and Luna stared at the place where he just jumped.

"Could I bear the pain of...losing him if I..."

Luna stopped there, she sighed. She didn't need to worry about that, but she tried to find a way to distract herself.

She laid her eyes on the cake, and she smiled.

"Time to get back in the game...I must plan this thoroughly, wouldn't want this to come back to bite me. "

She levitated the cake and walked back into the castle.

After that whole business, Lopez had a pretty uneventful week, he slept (he actually took the cow on her offer and chilled on her back), worked, got poked and prodded by Twilight (She said she could spend an entire lifetime studying him, and that's something when it comes out of Twilight's mouth.)

Strangely, he hasn't seen Applejack that much, and when he goes down to the farm to buy some apples, Mac (who injured himself somehow) said she was busy apple-bucking.

'What do you think happened to Big Mac?'

'Probably just overworked himself.'

'Remember when Dash said at the Bannered Mare?'

'...No, even if they are seeing each other I don't think she would be strong enough to...'overtake' Mac...that guy is STRONG.'

The party celebrating Applejack was now ready and underway. Lopez was on the roof of the city hall, having fallen asleep there.

'How do you fall asleep on a roof?'

'By falling asleep on a roof.'

Twilight came up and-

'Why the hell does she need a 100 page speech?'

'It's Twilight bro, i'm surprised it's not longer...she actually practiced that speech on me...she had to wake me up three times.'

'I bet you could recite that speech with how many times she practiced it on you.'

'Word for word.'

"Welcome everypony-"

'Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.' Lopez thought as he spaced out, having heard, and memorized this speech around 5 times.

"A pony's, whose attributions to-"

'RAINBOW DASH! OUTTA F***ING NOWHERE!'

"Did you see-" She stopped when she heard Lopez's laughter on the roof. Everypony looked at him on top of the roof and wondered what was so funny.

After a while he calmed down and saw that the entire town was looking at him.

"S-s-sorry *snort* I just *snicker* Rainbow when you interrupted her...*exhale*."

*Fwoosh*

He jumped to the far side of the stage and sat on the floor.

"Kay i'm good, continue Dash."

The town just dismissed his antics and continued to watch Rainbow go on about how amazing an athlete Applejack is.

'She be neckin'.'

'Neckin OD.'

'...What just happened?'

'I think we had a ghetto moment.'

'I can feel my I.Q dropping.'

After she did this 'super happy face' Twilight pushed her off the stage. She tried to continue with the speech until-

'...How did she get under there?'

'She must have squeezed herself under the podium.'

'...Have you ever wondered if Pinkie's a jumper too?

'...Yeah actually.'

She said something completely irrelevant to the situation...then she said something about Applejack helping her around Sugarcube corner, and free samples.

Next, Fluttershy proved to be just an equal troll as the others by gently poking Twilight and then talking. When she was done Twilight tried to continue the speech...

Until Mayor Mare just...stood next to her...and smiled.

Yep, just a smile. Twilight gave up.

'She just came paper.'

Again the crowd looked at Lopez to see him again laughing his ass off, some of the ponies laughed with him, others rolled their eyes. Lopez calmed down after a while.

"Continue." He said.

The mayor bragged about Applejack some more then they opened the curtains to see that...

She wasn't there.

'...Huh.'

Spike was still cheering, making himself look like a dumbass, until he realized everypony, including Lopez, was watching him, then he calmed down.

After a few very awkward moments of silence, Applejacks voice rang out from the back, she looked like did an all nighter of COD.

She went up...with a cart full of apples for some reason, and proceeded to act like someone who just smoked ten pounds of weed.

'...Okay?'

After she, and Pinkie, 'woo'd' into the trophy for a while, (Pinkie convinced Lopez to 'woo' with them), she...dragged her trophy away.

'Welp, now I know these ponies have weed.'

'She's just tired man.'

"Yo, Twilight." Lopez said,

Twilight looked towards him.

"Yes?"

"I have to do my rounds, see If Applejack is alright, okay?"

She nodded.

*Fwoosh*

And he was gone.

He was at the punch-in machine when he heard a familiar voice.

"Yo, Poof!"

"Hey, Ed."

"Did you see Applejack whe- never-mind, you where right next to them...your weird."

'And you just noticed that?'

"...I'm a teleporting alien from another dimension that gives candy apples to ponies...and steals their hats on occasion, what part of that sentence constitutes 'normal'?"

Ed laughs.

"Your right, your a weirdo even if you don't try."

"Ha. Funny..."

Ed punched in and they both departed to do their rounds.

After the work day, Lopez was strolling around ponyvillie, when he saw Rainbow standing on a fence for some reason.

A filly poked his leg, he looked down to see Scootaloo with her purple helmet and scooter.

"Hey Scoots, what's happening?"

"Hi Poof, I just wanted to ask...can I have a candy apple? I really don't know how it works so..."

Lopez laughed "of course."

*Fwoosh*

"I'll never get used to that..." Scootaloo says.

He jumped to his room in Twi's library and got three candy apples from his stash.

'Pedo.'

'Be quite.'

*Fwoosh*

Scootaloo jumped when he 'poofed' right in front of her.

"These are for your friends Scoot's, don't eat them, or you'll be missing your helmet."

Scootaloo jumped and took the three candy apples.

"Thanks Poof!"

"No prob."

She zoomed away on her scooter.

He looked to see Rainbow and Applejack on this see-saw thing and what looked like a diving board.

"Yo! What up with the see-saw diving board thing?"

They looked over.

"Oh, hey Shawn, Applejack here is helping me with my newest trick! Wanna see, it's gonna be awesome!"

"Yessiree!..*yawn* awesome and such..." Applejack looked like she was gonna faint.

'How much you want to bet that this all goes hilariously wrong?'

'This looks like something from a 'Wild E. Coyote' cartoon.'

"Sure, i'm done with work, why not? Now...where to sit..."

Lopez looks at the 'diving board', he's seen enough loony tunes to know where this is going.

*Fwoosh*

He is now standing on the elevated platform. He sits down and waits for Applejack to come up.

"You sure you got this?" He asked.

"Hoh my...yeah...ah think ah do... ah have tah land on tha one on tha right, right?"

'Wait...there's only one.'

"Ummm-"

Lopez started, but Applejack jumped off, and veered way to the right.

She pancaked on the ground.

Lopez looked down from the diving board thing.

"You good?" Lopez asked.

After Rainbow corrected her and she peeled her face from the ground, she failed three more times.

She tried to just manually lift the see saw, but Rainbow was not amused. She let go and Rainbow got knocked down.

'Oh no.'

"Here ah go!"

'Here it comes.'

"Wait!"

*Fwoosh!*

That wasn't Lopez this time.

"APPLEJAAAAAAAaaaack..." Rainbow was sent flying...

'Just how dense are these ponies? She was launched like, OD.'

'Don't know...She's heading towards the library.'

*Fwoosh*

Lopez suddenly was sitting on the balcony of the library, he stood up to see Twilight reading book, big surprise. He decided to be troll and stand right behind Twilight's reading form.

"Hey Twi." He greeted her. She jumped.

"ACK!" She looked back to see Lopez smiling. "Don't scare me like that!"

Lopez laughed a little and walked in front of her.

"Sorry Twi, couldn't resist." He braced himself and held his hands out, like if he was about to catch something.

"What are you doing?"

Some screaming from the distance was heard. Rainbow was flying towards the library balcony, but before she had a harsh landing on the railing, Lopez caught her.

"OOF!...Thanks Shawn."

"No prob...want a candy apple?"

Rainbow snorted. "Thanks, but I don't think it would be healthy having another encounter with something apple related."

"Eh, can't argue with you there." Lopez put her down. and jumped to a nearby tree branch to catch some z's

"Applejack?" Twilight deadpanned.

"Yup."

Twilight left for for Sweet Apple Acre's. Rainbow flew over to Lopez and the branch he was occupying.

"Dude."

Lopez opened one eye.

"Yeah?"

"I ain't a egghead like Twilight but...I was always curious about something."

'Ohhh, what's she so 'curious' about?'

'Dude, quit it.'

"What are ya so curious about then?" He asked.

"How...does it work, your...'poofing'?"

He laughed.

"I haven't had to answer that in a while. Well, it's simple really, if I know what the place looks like, I can jump there."

Rainbow sported a look of confusion.

"Jump? Twi calls it 'teleporting' or some junk like that."

"Yeah, jump just sounds cooler."

"Agree with you there...so, anywhere?"

"Anywhere, anything, instantly."

"Wow, that sounded really cool, though not as cool as me, but its up there."

"Heh...well, if I know what the place looks like, I can go there, unlike Twilight, i'm not limited by distance, it exerts next to nothing on me, and I can do it instantly, don't have to charge up magic like Twi has to."

"Sounds boring after a while, you never have the journey to look forward to, I wouldn't be able to live without the feeling of flying."

"That's why, even though I know every nook and cranny of this town, it never gets boring to just walk places, in fact, one of my favorite things to do is just walk around the town, it can be surprising how many things we take for granted."

"Wait, you know every nook and cranny of Ponyvillie?"

"Rainbow, if you give me a piece of paper and a...thing to write with. I can draw Ponyvillie, every detail."

Rainbow went into the library, and sometime later she came back with a paper and quill in her hooves.

She dropped them onto his lap and pointed a hoof at him.

"Prove it."

"Oh, is that a challenge?"

"You bet your flank it is, I want to see this for myself."

"Okay Rainbow, wait, I have to get something to draw on."

"Don't worry I-"

*Fwoosh*

Rainbow was interrupted by Lopez suddenly not being there.

"Woah, never saw that up clo-."

*Fwoosh*

"Hey Dash! You still want to see me draw?"

She did a double take behind her to see Lopez sitting on a chair with a table in front of him. She flew towards him and looked over his shoulder as he began to draw...

Rainbows face slowly grew more shocked as the seconds went by, he was PERFECTLY drawing the buildings and the whole town, with such speed and detail.

'Now if only there was a case that a guy got laid because he can draw well.'

'*sigh*.'

After about 2 minutes, all of Ponyvillie was on that piece of paper.

"Now what I tell ya?" He said as he gave the paper to Rainbow. She stared at it before flying into the sky. After about 10 seconds she came back.

"It's perfect! Every-...that's...awesome, bro!"

"Glad you liked it."

"...Can you draw ponies too?" She asked.

"Yup."

"Can you draw me then?"

"What do you want to do in the picture?"

"Something that displays my total awesomeness!"

'Oh please.'

"Hmm...I know just the thing."

'Super sexy pose?'

'What do you think?'

"Alright...but I need some color, can capture your 'total awesomeness' with just black."

"I'll be back in 10 seconds flat, promise!"

She flew away. Lopez started to count the seconds out of boredom. And what do you know, Rainbow fulfilled her promise and came back with a couple of art supplies.

"Alright then, look away, don't spoil it for yourself."

She turned around. After a couple minutes of drawing Rainbow's, already little, patience was wearing thin.

"Done!"

She flew over to him and when she saw the picture she drew, she almost screamed in joy.

It was a picture of her in a wonder-bolts suit, flying with Spitfire, her fire-like trail and her rainbow trial were mixing in a corkscrew pattern, there was a mach cone around them making it look like they were just about to break the sound barrier.

"That's...that's...SO AWESOME!" She screamed, she made that face again and captured Lopez in a bone crushing hug. She was squealing like a fangirl while suffocating Lopez.

'Heh, heh, heh...now if only we can work on why she's squeal-'

'Yeah, I get it, okay?'

"Omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh!" She started to jump in place.

She then abruptly ended the hug.

"You didn't see that, alright?" She said.

"See what?"

"Good."

She looked at the picture and smiled.

"How did you-"

"I heard you were a fan of the wonderbolts, so I figure, why not give you some more motivation?"

She put out her hoof.

"Thanks dude...that's awesome."

Lopez met her hoof with his fist.

"No prob."

Some Flapping was heard in the distance. Lopez and Rainbow looked around to see Express Delivery barreling towards Lopez, when he was close enough he put the brakes on and landed on the balcony.

"Shawn! The med *pant* poison *pant* need your *pant*."

"Woah dude, calm down, tell me whats wrong." Lopez said. He was worried, Ed only called him by his real name when something was going down.

Ed took a couple of deep breaths before talking again.

"There's a bad case of food poisoning down at Sugarcube Corner! Like, 60 ponies got it BAD! They need you over there to help transport medicine!"

"Got it."

He turned to Rainbow. "It's been fun, but duty calls."

'Heh, heh...duty.'

'...*sigh*, wow man.'

*Fwoosh*

When Express Delivery said it was bad...it was BAD. Ponies were bedridden and vomiting everywhere, with that cartoonish sickly green color on their faces.

"What happened?" Lopez asked to the closest nurse, Red Heart.

"Something went bad with some muffins down at Sugercube Corner. And we need your help to transport medication. Twilight just passed by here. She said something about Applejack."

'She's been pretty busy wreaking havoc today.'

'What's gotten into her?'

'Overdose?'

'No, dude.'

For the next couple hours or so, Lopez helps bring medicine to the sickly ponies. A couple times he had to dodge some vomit.

Then.

"STAMPEDE!" Rainbow screamed...again.

'This again?'

Lopez sighed, The ponies were all stable and all they needed was a little rest, so he went to take a closer look.

'Bunnies?'

Lopez face-palmed.

"Really?"

Everypony started to panic...again.

"Really!?"

When the bunnies came into the town, everypony was locked in their house...again.

And one of the flower child sisters or whatever fainted.

"OH COME ON! REALLY, THEY'RE BABY RABBITS! YOU GUYS ARE ACTING LIKE THEY'RE A HORDE OF RADIOACTIVE MANTICORES!"

The bunnies ransacked everything that was plant matter in the town, and after a while Fluttershy came to try to settle the bunnies down.

They were noming on EVERYTHING.

Lopez went over to Fluttershy to try and see if he could help. He wasn't Doctor Doolittle but he tried his best.

Twilight came around and, summarizing, said 'that's enough' and left.

'Way to see that we needed help and offer it, those friendship lessons are doing wonders...'

After a while of 'rabbit roundup' Twilight gave the proverbial 'Avengers Assemble' and said that Applejack needed help with her apple-bucking, saying that that is the reason that she caused so much chaos today.

So Lopez and the other's went towards her farm to help.

This is were Lopez's jumping shines.

After Lopez and Rainbow Dash teamed up to increase effectiveness, (and to see if they could get more apple's than Twilight and her cheating magic...well Lopez had a bit of an unfair advantage too but that's beside the point.). Things went along pretty quickly.

Her speed and his jumping got more apple's than even Twilight. Lopez, with a good placed roundhouse, or super-kick (sexy boy!), could knock all the apples out out of the trees.

'Because screw you logic.'

And since Dash didn't have too worry about bringing in the apples she knocked down, it was a perfect system.

Applejack came around with some Apple-juice-

'Big surprise.'

'Kinda obvious with her name being 'Applejack' and us being in an apple farm.'

"Man, that apple-bucking sure made me hungry!" Said Rainbow.

Spike came out with the poisonous batch of muffins, which everyone declined.

"Hey, I got an idea." said Lopez.

*Fwoosh*

The ponies stood there and waited for him to get back.

*Fwoosh*

Lopez came back with eight candy apples.