My Little Tobuscus

by Velociraptor

The Toby Mark Chronicles

"Gabuscus, whats wrong?" Toby asked as they arrived back at Ponyville, "I'll tell you whats wrong, you made us walk to Coltada to get a free stamp, so you can send a letter to Applejack on her birthday, but it's not her birthday and you said amen on your letter, amens for Jesus." Gabuscus replied waving is hooves in the air. "Now they both can feel happy on their birthday." Toby said with a smile on his face. At that moment they came across three young fillies. "Look Gabuscus their so huggable yes you are" Toby said in his 'Bunny voice' "Well howdy Tobuscus do ya mind tellin us the story of your cutie mark?" Applebloom asked. "Excuse me girls but didn't your parents ever tell you not to talk to strange colts." Gabe said taking hold of the situation, "Save it for the next PSA Gabuscus" Toby replied "Wait, what?" Gabe said not knowing what the noodle Toby just said. "Well girls my story goes like this." Toby turned his attention back to the girls

"First things first I'm an adult. I was born an adult. Okay? I came out of the womb employed. I was like, I jumped out like 'Alright, I'm late! I'm late!' They're like 'What? What the hell sort of baby in a business suit is this?' Mom's like 'That's my baby in a business suit. I'm so proud of my baby in a business suit. Okay lets get started, I was just a baby buscus, but I knew someday I'd be a big buscus like my father. He was a nice dadbuscus, but one day he turned to the bad side" "What are you talking about, your fathers a doctor?" Gabe interupted. "SHUT UP GABUSCUS I'M TELLING A STORY! So anyways when my dad turned to the bad side we battled to the life." Gabe let out a sigh. "Dadbuscus return to the good side of the toast. "I'm sorry son, but a like my toast burnt" He said to me "But thats nasty, you should also eat jam on ham cause I can eat my ham ham I can eat my ham ham, but you can't afford afford my diamond jam jam. I mean really that must be expensive jam to be made of diamonds, how do they make that anyway. Oh God Dangit!!!" I said as I fell into the bottomless pit (He had been walking backwards) but something broke my fall "A dragon! Lets go forth and kill all the murder death safty ducks." I said "Wat u talkin bout I'm a bird mother f*cker" the bird then flipped me off and I fell into the casem.

When I awoke in the casem my eyes were white and I was bl- I mean a child of darkness, whoohh Tobuscus you doged a safty bullet there. I built a house out of sticks and then went trouble hunting. As I arrived at my quante house I saw Harry fighting a noseless guy "Carefull Harry he doesn't have a nose" I shouted as I ran away and into a wall. And I saw new hope because where there's a wall theirs a way...clearly. "Oh hello I didn't see you there would you like to take some tests, I'm sure you'll be GLaD to take them" A strange new voice said behind me "Ah school tests boring ah it hurts learning it hurts aw god the pain" I replied, reminded of school "There'll be cake and confette" She replied "You had me at the quotation mark" I replied following the light in the celing and was given a strange gun. "There now, take some test for me." She said. SEVERAL MINUTES LATER. "So obvilousily, the solution has something to do with the puzzel" I said proudly "Thats it, your an idiot and there's nothing you can ever do to be smart. I'm pumping the nurotoxin in right now!" The robot screamed. "Don't get mad, get GLaDOS!" I said as I went into a small grate in the room. "what the balls" I said noticing the sign in front of me "Blood, Vio-lence" I said

"Welcome to reach you will die here and more than likely I won't die, seem fair." I said to the new recruits. It was my seventh day on Reach and had killed half the soldiers, friendly fire was on apparently. A blight light then flashed out of nowhere. "Hello I'm the doctor" A pony said to me. "The doctor? doctor of what?" I asked "Doctor of everything" "That must be a long PhD like a million miles long, ya know." I said to that comment. "Allons-y" He said to me. Allons-y got to pee in a bee hive to strive with my bad vibes in had of the cad that made me said." "Can you continue the story?" Gabe asked. "SHUT THE DOG DIGGITY DANGIT UP GABUSCUS. Weeeellllllll as I was saying. He told me to follow him because he had candy. When I steped into the blue box he pressed some safty buttons of safety and we had an adventure through spaaaaaaaaaaaaccccccccccccccccccccceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee and time. As we fought monsters and demons a fell into a hole of darkness, redness, whitness where I met the audience. For hundreds of years I talked with the audience learning their ways. one day the told me that I was the chosen one to guide the future. A darkness, reddness, whiteness hole swept me up along with a friend of the audience, Gabuscus. From that point we traveld to the world of worldbuscus where we fought for our lives.

This is also where I met nurse. I'd pay here money and see would make me feel good, wait, WAIT not like that. Get your mind out of the gutter, gutters are for balls. Aw god dangit I didn't mean it like that either. Gabuscus and I defended the world for a thousands of years killing all evil standing in our way, except the wall of flesh because
nobody likes wall of flesh. He's so full of himself. And he's full of like...everyone else too cause he's eaten everyone. And so he's full of them. Their, literally, their corpses. So nobody hangs out or talks to wall of flesh anymore. You know? Just not as cool after he started murdering and eating everyone alive. Ugh so awkward if you're at a party with him. You know? And you're like hanging out with your friends and he comes in be like 'Oh great, wall of flesh is her... ahhh ahhh uhhhh buhhh ahhh!' You're like 'No! Jason! NOO!' Wall of flesh is like 'Ha ha yeah.' Ugh then he ends up going home with the hottest girl at the party....in his stomach. But one day when I came back home I saw arms dealer kissing nurse and I ran away, as far as I could, and that was like three feet. I then heard a scream from the bathroom. I came runing in to find a poodle with nurse's body in it's deadly fluffy jaws. I then realized she's one of the many victims of death by poodling. It's what two year old gang members do. You don't pay up you gonna get poodled! Nutin I can do bout dat. You gonna get poodled I told you already!"

Toby returned his gaze back to the CMC who had left hours ago. "Tobuscus go to sleep." Gabe said as he walked towards Toby who hadn't noticed that it was one O'clock yet "AAUUUUGGGHHHHHH Gabuscus I don't want to. I haven't finished my story, yet" Toby replied "You can finish it some other time." Gabe replied as he draged Toby to their house.

Comments

[my little broney (MLB)]

lol i was giggling a lot of the way though it

[Mirth]

...Da hell was that?...

I IZ KONFOOZED.

[Kablex]

"And thats how Equestria was made."

[Thule]

272176 ''Oatmeal... you're crazy!''

[UnintentionalMishap]

Wat?

[derpyvio]

Love the Doctor Who reference
Very good chapter

[dirtdog1996]

most rambling I've ever read...

[Juggernaut]

the fuq

[Extantdread]

OK. I must read this. That's another 7ish chapters. I CAN'T STOP ADDING STORIES. THERE'S TOO MANY. I am going to read this later, but I am sure it will be good. :D

[Velociraptor]

272356 thats what I was going for

[just moar]

my brain, I had to restart it coz I got a screen of blueness

[Shadowstep]

You gon' get poodled!

Best line of all Timebuscus

[bluefurbluestar]

But I dont want to i havent finished my story yet

[idontevengohereanymoreso]

I'm sorry... What?

[MythiskalCreature]

272026 Who wasn't... XD

[YuroSutoraika]

You, Mister Author, are a genius.