• Member Since 28th Mar, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Friday

Craine


An old writer polishing his ways, giving feedback, and helping fellow authors. Nothing more.

T
Source

'Honesty is the best quality.' Somewhere between the thrill of competition, and the heat of forbidden desire, Applejack may have forgotten that.

Rated "Teen" for suggestive themes, and intense emotional situations. Enjoy!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 21 )

Um did i miss something? i am guessing they had sex during running of the leaves and AJ is in denial? :applejackconfused::applejackunsure:

Very good for how short it is. I love that you never stated why AJ feels guilty for being with Dash, it leaves it open to reader interpretation, which lets me put a lot of thought into a very short piece. Good job!

Oooh. You went down a dark road with this one.
I'm gonna shove all my headcannon and my urge to clobber them both over the head away to give you a somewhat... composed review. :P
Right, with this I had to read it over about 3 times before I finally got the grasp of it, so to speak; so I have to start this off with the thing that many writers need more of - detail. Throwing in a few more key trigger words, another sentence here and there, to give more a sense of the atmosphere, about what's going on in here.
The effect I get off this though, I think you're trying to put an air of mystery in here, or maybe I'm just imagining it. xD It's not clear about what Applejack has been doing, you're more or less implying it - it works well here, but I feel that you can still add in some more detail without giving away the whole plot of what you're trying to do here.
I have to admit, I'm still somewhat confused by it. Maybe if I read it over a few more times, my pea-sized brain might be able to comprehend it after a while. :facehoof:

All in all, quite an intriguing read - if that was the effect you were going for, well done, you got me. :D You have my thumb!

Your words are spoken true! As I read over what I had, before postage, I thought about adding key words and/or sentences to leave the plot less implied, and more clear. Then, I found myself thinking 'F**K that!' To that end, I reworded a few sentences and connected a few more dots from beginning to end, thus crafting a sad romance open to excruciating amounts of interpretation. :pinkiecrazy:

What the...? So AJ likes to see Rainbow suffer? :applejackconfused:

:facehoof: Really? No... No she doesn't. I thought the last paragraph made that clear.

Excellent job. I really felt like I was there and I could really feel the emotions. I nearly shed a little liquid pride. :moustache: good thing I didn't though (lol jk).
back to being serious it was good but short and open ended I feel like it was just the climax of a longer narrative but that is truly my only complaint. Keep up the good work.

Indeed I will Nova. Indeed I will.

i enjoyed it. i like that its very airy but still very thick and heavy. it gets down hard on a lot of stuff while still leaving a lot of room. very nice for a shorty!

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Oh!, Heh. Why, thank you. Never really thought it'd have that effect. Nice to see some different feedback ever now and again. :twilightsmile:

im kind of confused but it was very interesting. could you explain?:rainbowhuh:

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They did the dirty after the Running of the Leaves. Applejack feels bad about it. Rainbow catches this. Has a conniption fit over it. Applejack sees just how horrible it'd be to leave Rainbow. And now their both stuck in a dysfunctional ass relationship.

Stay tuned for my newest oneshot. Will be posted in twenty minutes! :eeyup:

Thanks for explaining that makes so much more sence.:twilightsmile:lol nice relationship:ajbemused:

Jesus, that's intense. I liked it but man it really shocked me with how intense it was. Well done!:twilightsmile:

So close to bringing me to tears... but it didn't. I just... so close.:ajsleepy:

Wow that's some pretty intense stuff.

I always kick myself after reading a sad tagged story. Both for having read it (I don't like sad) and for not reading more sad. You could say it's a dysfunctional relationship I have with it :twilightblush:

So... a night of passion, that AJ regrets, because it puts a bond on them that isn't there, but she can't move herself away because she does care for RD in a way?

craine you are a cruel but brilliant writer, so close to tears :ajsleepy:
now if you'll excuse me I must go read a happy appledash so I'm not so sad

YOU ARE EVIL. YOU JUST RUINED MY 2ND FAVE SHIPPING.
(1st: SoarinDash)

Hey there! I did a reading of your story! Youtube Reading

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