A ray of light landed on Spike’s face. He stirred for a moment, not wanting to wake up, but knowing the issue was already decided. Sleep no no longer being an option, he stared for a while at the roof, not wanting to do anything else. In his mind, he could only replay what had happened yesterday with Rarity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“I’ll see you later Spike,” Twilight said as she made her way to the door.
Spike waved at Twilight. “Okay Twi. And don’t worry, I got this covered.” He turned to look at the white mare. “So, Rarity, I was hoping that we could have something to-” he just stopped. He was just too confused by what he was watching. Rarity was crying, silently, letting tears trace her face while she tried to choke her sobs. “Rarity, what’s wrong?”
Rarity tried to clean the tears from her cheeks, but it was a lost cause as more poured forth. “I’m sorry Spike. I just realized what an awful pony I am.”
“What?!” Spike was taken aback by what Rarity had just said. “Why are you saying that? You are a wonderful pony, one of the greatest I have ever met.”
Rarity let her head drop. “No, Spike, I’m not.” She lifted her head to look at the little dragon, but didn’t dare to look directly in his eyes. “You know what I was doing last night?”
Spike waited for a moment, thinking of where this was going and if he wanted to know. “No, I don’t know.”
“I... I was trying to think the best way to let you down Spike.” Rarity could see how the words hit Spike full force. “But I just couldn’t, there is no way to let a po-dragon down without hurting them.” Rarity continued her silent crying.
Spike just stood there for a moment. ‘So, this is how it is going to be? I never stood a chance?’ The only sound in the room were Rarity’s sobs. ‘I should be the one crying, not Rarity. I don’t like to see her crying. I have to be strong for her.’
“I see that you gave it a lot of thought, Rarity. If it weren’t like that, you wouldn’t be crying like this. I appreciate it, you can stop crying. You are not an awful pony-”
“No,” Rarity interrupted. “I am awful, Spike. I’m not talking about the part of letting you down, I’m talking of the part of why I’m doing this in the first place.”
“What do you-”
“Twilight was the one that told me that I had to make things clear between us, Spike! It wasn’t even my idea!” Rarity took a moment to calm herself. “W-what I’m saying is that I would have let you keep going for something that would never happen if she hadn’t said that.” She let some hiccups escape.
Spike kept quiet, trying to hide the fact that each word Rarity spoke hurt him. Not because he was being told that he had followed an impossible dream, but because Rarity was suffering with each word that left her mouth.
“It’s like I don’t care for anypony now. I hadn't thought of how I would make you feel. When I’m with Twilight, I act like she’s already crazy for me. I called her my Sparkle Kitten yesterday. She had a bouquet of flowers with her and I took them like she got them just for me, but I knew that one of the girls had gave it to her. I-I’m just...” Rarity couldn’t hold it anymore, she broke down, letting her sadness show in full force. She managed to compose for a bare instant, just to complete what she was saying. “I’m a horrible pony.”
“Rarity...” Spike didn’t knew what to say. He hadn’t expected anything that had happened so far. He just wanted to start crying, but he couldn’t. Not right now, not when Rarity was like this, there would be time for that later. “Rarity!”
Rarity stopped her crying to look at the little dragon that just shouted at her.
“Don’t say that you are a horrible pony, never again.” Spike walked up to stand in front of the mare. “You are a great pony.”
“But I have been acting horrible lately. I don’t deserve your kindness, and I don’t deserve the chance Twilight gave me to be with her.”
“No!” Spike shouted again. “I told you not to say that!” He put his claws on Rarity’s shoulders. “Rarity,” Spike started with a gentler voice, “You’re not horrible. You were just blind to your surroundings. You were blinded by love.” Spike proceeded to stroke the mare’s mane with a caressing touch. “When one is in love, it's like the only ponies that exist are you and that special pony. You aren't horrible. Maybe, you are just confused.”
“B-but I have been in so many relationships before, and I never acted like this.”
“That means that Twilight means a lot more for you than any of those other ponies. So, don’t worry anymore.” Spike pulled away from Rarity.
“I-I don’t know what to say, Spike,” Rarity managed to say, her tears had slowed their progress. “I’m really sorry. I came and broke your heart, and you are here, making me feel better. You are such a wonderful dragon, Spike.”
“Yeah, don’t worry about that.” Spike frowned thoughtfully, there was a question he wanted to hear an answer to. “Umm, Rarity, if you don’t mind me asking. Why Twilight? I mean, she’s great and all, but... Weren't you waiting for the perfect stallion?”
Rarity thought for a moment, “I don’t know Spike. I was sure I was waiting for my prince, but one day, I just realized that I loved Twilight, and each time I see her, I can feel that I love her even more.” Rarity had a silly smile on her face when she finished.
Spike was about to break, seeing the pony he loves talking of how much she loves another pony, he would not be able to keep his composure for much longer. He looked away from the pony, in the direction of the stairs. For a second, Spike could swear he saw a light coming from the Elements crystal display. Rarity didn’t have anything else to say and she could see that Spike could use some time alone after the conversation they just had.
“Thank you, Spike.” Rarity was about to make her way out when she stopped to look back at Spike. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Don’t worry about me, Rarity. I’m a tough guy.” Even with his back turned, he barely managed to keep his composure.
Rarity looked at him with concern; there was something about those words that did worried her. Not knowing what to do, she just gave the little dragon a big hug before making her way to the door.
“Wait!”
Rarity stopped before opening the door. “What is it Spike?”
“I think you would like to go to the bathroom first. Your makeup kind of got ruined by the tears.”
Rarity let out a gasp and ran to the bathroom. Her face was a disaster and she didn’t have the supplements to return it to it’s previous state. She decided to wash off all the makeup. With her face clean, she walked back to the room where Spike was, gave him another hug and ran out to her boutique before anyone could see her like that.
Spike stood still until the clop of the hooves disappeared. The pony he had loved with all his heart had left. He collapsed on the floor and started to cry. He lost the mare of his dreams, but he had done the right thing. He then proceeded to continue with his chores, adding some music to it, trying to get out of his mind what had just happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the tears threatened to return, Spike decided to find something to distract himself with. ‘Better start the work of the day.’ He stood from his basket and looked at the clock. “It’s way past ten! I should have woken up three hours ago!” He made his way to the bathroom, taking a quick look at Twilight’s empty bed. ‘Why didn’t she wake me up?’ He got near the sink and splashed some cold water on his face to help him start the day.
Spike ran down stairs. “Twilight! I’m sorry I overslept. I’ll start with the work right now.” The little dragon didn’t get an answer. He searched for Twilight in the main room of the library and in the kitchen, but she was nowhere to be found. A little paper attached to the fridge door caught his attention. He walked up to it and grabbed the paper.
Spike,
I’m going to meet with the girls for our weekly pets play date. You can take the day off. Don’t worry about anything, just enjoy the day. See you later.
Love, Twilight.
‘A day off. Hmmm, what should I do?’ Spike thought for a while. Going to play with the Cutie Mark Crusaders was not an option, being near Sweetie Belle would constantly make him think about a certain white unicorn. Twilight was obviously busy with her friends right now. He couldn’t even spend the day sleeping because that would allow his mind to wander freely, likely bringing him back to what had happened that morning.
“Just great. I get a day off and the only thing I can do is work.” A sigh of defeat escaped his mouth. “Well, better get to it.” Spike grabbed the duster and walked back to the main room.
Twilight walked happily through the town with Owlowiscious following closely. She had a pair of saddlebags on her back, ‘Let’s see if I remembered to bring what I need for today.’ She used her magic to open a pocket of the bag and pulled a scroll from there. She unrolled it, ‘Let’s see, Owlowiscious, check. Owlowiscious snacks, check. My snacks, check. Schedules, check. Checklist of things I need to remember to bring for today’s play date, check.’ She rolled back the scroll and returned it to the pocket. ‘Perfect.’
Twilight got to the open field between the White Tail Woods and Ponyville, their usual meeting place for the date. She was happy to see that five of her friends were already there, playing happily with their respective pets.
“Hey, girls!” Twilight called out to them. All her friends turned to look at her in an instant, with big smiles, they rushed to meet up with her.
They all gave their respective greetings, though they all seemed to hesitate at the end.
All except Pinkie, who tackled Twilight to the ground and planted a big sloppy kiss on her cheek, causing Twilight to blush furiously, while a few gasps were heard around her.
“Twilight! I’m really happy to see you, and Gummy is happy too.” Pinkie lifted the little reptile over Twilight and he “bit” Twilight on the face.
“Pinkie! What do you think you are doing?” Rainbow Dash asked while trying to pull away the party pony and her pet from the tomato that was lying on the ground.
“What?” She asked when Dash set her on the ground. “Me and Gummy just wanted to give her a kiss like you did, Dashy.” Pinkie answered happily.
“Dash! Ya told me that ya didn’t kiss her!” Applejack was slowly walking to her pegasus friend. Her menacing stare made Rainbow swallow deeply.
“It was just a small peck to the cheek, nothing like what Pinkie just did.” She flew up to a safe distant from Applejack, then looked down at Pinkie. “How did you know that I kisse- No, forget it, stupid question, you probably know what all of us did in yesterday.”
“Yepers, and Applejack,” She dropped to the ground and started to laugh. “Your advance with Twilight was Gummy’s favorite part, it was like ‘love you’ smack.” She continued laughing for a moment, while Gummy approached her and started to munch her mane. After a few seconds of laughter, she stood back on her hooves. “Yeah, I know that everyone tried something, for example, Dashy tried to-” A blue hoof found it’s way to Pinkie’s mouth.
“Well, Pinkie, I’m sure everyone wants to listen a good story about me, but we came here to play with the little guys, so let’s get to it.” She added a nervous smile at the end.
“Yes, I agree with Rainbow Dash.” Rarity said as she helped Twilight stand. “Are you okay my Spa- Umm, darling?”
“Yes, Rarity, I’m okay, thank you.” Twilight turned to look directly at Rarity, she looked a little depressed. “Why didn’t you call me that pet name like last time?”
Rarity took a moment to think something, “Oh... I just thought that it was bothering you, is all.”
“No, it doesn’t bother me, I mean, it did at the beginning but I kind of...” Twilight turned her face and murmured something before walking away to play with Owlowiscious.
Rarity let a smile surge on her face. “As you wish, Sparkle Kitten. Come on Opal, let’s play.”
To Twilight’s eye, all her friends were enjoying themselves playing with their pets, just like she was with Owlowiscious. But if she had put a little more attention, she would have noted the quick glances they took at her, and how Pinkie was almost drooling at her behind her back.
‘Dat plot.’ Pinkie cleaned the drool with the backside of her hoof.
Fluttershy saw Twilight running on her direction, trying to catch Owlowiscious. ‘Okay, Fluttershy, do as Angel told you, be more assertive.’ She took a deep breath and walked up to meet Twilight, Angel was looking from afar with expectation. “Twilight, I-”
“The Great and Powerful Trixie has finally found you, Twilight Sparkle!”
Everyone, except Fluttershy who had been startled by the shout, turned to look at the new pony that had just arrived. An obnoxiously-familiar blue unicorn with a magician costume was panting heavily a few meters away from the group.
“Trixie,” Twilight approached the new pony, managing to see a lot of scratches that covered the unicorn’s coat. “What happened to you?”
“Give Trixie -‘pant’- just one second -’pant’- to recover.” Trixie took a few breaths, managing to compose herself. “Much better.” She cleared her voice, “Trixie had some inconvenience getting here. I had to-”
“What are you doing here, Trixie?” Rainbow Dash interrupted. She flew over Trixie, glaring daggers as she did so. “Did you come here to cause trouble like last time?”
“No, and Trixie already apologized for that incident.” Trixie tried to ignored whatever Rainbow Dash said to that. “Trixie is not here to cause harm. Trixie is here to fulfil her destiny, and she needs Twilight Sparkle for that.” She pointed at Twilight, who was silently listening a few meters away.
“Horse apples, not another one.” Applejack said with an exasperated tone.
“What do you mean with ‘another one’?”
“Ugh, I knew there would be more ponies after Twilight!” Rainbow stomped her front hooves furiously, “After Princess Luna confessed to Twilight, I knew it was just a matter of time before someone else came out of the woodworks.”
“Princess Luna confessed to Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie eyes shot wide open.
Pinkie tried to say something, but Gummy had clamped himself onto her face and all that came out were some muffled noises.
“What did she say?”
“Umm, she probably asked if you came here to confess your love to Twilight too, just like we did.” Fluttershy said as she looked to the saddened Twilight that was holding a bunch of papers on her grasp. She looked like she was about to lose a son.
Trixie took a moment to process what she just heard, “Hahahahahaha, All of you confessed to Sparkle, that is just so- Wait, wait, wait just a second.” She took another moment to process the other part of what she heard. “Why would you think that I’m going to confess to her too?”
“Isn’t that why you are here?” Rarity approached the conversation. “You said that you were here to fulfil your destiny, to be with Twilight, isn’t it?”
“What?!” Trixie shouted. “That’s not what I meant. I don’t love her.”
“You don’t?”
“Of course not.” Trixie said while looking disgusted. “Why would anypony even love her?”
“Because she is beautiful,” started Rarity.
“She is intelligent,” continued Applejack.
“She is excellent with magic,” said Rainbow Dash.
“She is good with other ponies,” added Fluttershy.
“And she has a nice flank,” and finished Pinkie, who had freed herself from Gummy’s attack.
“Oh, please.” Trixie turned to look at Twilight, that was happily putting a bunch of papers back in her saddlebag. “What did you do Sparkle? Did you use some magic to make them fall for you? How lame.”
“I did nothing like that!”
“Yeah, she would never do somethin’ like that.” Applejack got closer to Trixie. “And now, if ya aren’t here ‘cause ya love her, then why are ya here.”
Trixie scoffed, “Trixie sure came for something more meaningful than that, otherwise, Trixie wouldn’t dare to make her way through the Everfree Forest.”
“You came from the Everfree Forest?” Rainbow, with an incredulous look, landed and poked Trixie on the chest.
“Yes, is the shortest way to get here from Manehattan.”
“Why didn’t you take a train?” asked Rarity.
Trixie looked down to the floor while fidgeting with a hoof. “Umm, Trixie doesn’t have enough money for a ticket.” She then regained her composure. “But once I’m done with the reason why I’m here, that won’t be a problem anymore.”
“Then, why are you here exactly?” asked Twilight.
“Trixie is here to... to...” Trixie turned to look at the distance, her eyes shot wide open. “I’m here to esCAPE FROM THAT URSA MAJOR!” Trixie ran to hide behind the nearest tree she could.
“What is she talkin’ about? What Urs-” Applejack got interrupted when the ground started to shake.
Everyone turned their heads in the direction Trixie was looking a moment ago, while a flock of birds flew in the opposite directions. A purple-tinted shadow fell over the group of ponies and the entire field around them. Everyone watched silently as a large beast with a translucent body and large fangs got closer and closer. The colossal creature stopped just in front of the group. For a moment, no pony dared to move.
Pinkie was the first to react, “Girls! Snap out of it, this is serious. We got to defend Ponyville from that.” Pinkie then jumped a meter to the front and stood on her hind legs. “It’s morphing time! Pink Pony Ranger!” Pinkie made some weird gestures with her forehooves before pulling some weird ball from her mane and throw it to the floor. A smoke cloud emerged, the sound of hooves galloping to the distance were heard before the cloud disappeared. Pinkie was gone.
“Hello everypony.” Came a lazy voice from over the Ursa.The group of ponies turned their head to look up for the source of the voice. Princess Luna was descending slowly with her extended wings while covering her muzzle with a hoof. “Twilight, I’m so happy to -’yawn’- be here.”
Twilight shook her head to snap out of the frozen state the Ursa had elicit, something similar did the others. “Princess Luna.” Twilight called out and waited for the alicorn to reach the ground before continuing. “I’m glad you came, and I suppose that this is Ur.” She gestured to the giant creature with a wing. “Is it safe to be near her?” Twilight nervously added, taking a step back away from the Ursa.
“Of course she’s safe...” The Ursa major lowered her head and growled at the group. “Er... most of the time. There are certain things than make her angry, like flashing lights or explosions, but don’t worry. If something-” Luna covered her mouth with her hoof to cover her yawning. “Sorry. As I was saying, if something happens, I know how to calm her do...” she trailed off, closing her eyes and dropping her head.
“Princess Luna?” Twilight asked getting a little closer to the princess. She managed to hear the snores that Luna’s snout were making. “Princess!” Twilight nudged Luna on the side, but the princess didn’t wake.
Twilight turned around to look at her four friends, “Umm, I think we should let Luna sleep for a while.” Twilight used her magic to levitate the princess, and placed her under the shadow of a nearby tree. “And she was so excited to come.” Twi smiles fondly at that cute scene before with Luna sleeping peacefully under the tree´s shadow.
“What happened to her?” Rarity asked while taking a closer look at the sleeping princess.
“Yesterday, when I invited her, she told me that she had changed her daily routine. She’s trying to sleep at night and stay awake at the day,” Twilight took another look at Luna. “She isn’t used to it, so I guess she hadn’t got much sleep for the last few days.”
“Umm, Twilight, what do we do with... that.” Fluttershy asked from behind Rainbow Dash, pointing at the Ursa Major with a trembling hoof. The Ursa had settled herself not far from the group, lying on the ground with her head over her pawns, not taking her eyes off from the ponies.
“Well, Ur looks like a good Ursa Major, so we’ll just let her be until Princess Luna wakes.”
“Her name is Ur the Ursa major? That’s not a very imaginative name,” Pinkie popped out from nowhere, surprising the other ponies.
“Pinkie, where did you came out from? And...” Rainbow barely managed to contain her laughter after taking a better look at her friend. “Ha, what are you wearing?”
“This is my power suit,” Pinkie struck a heroic pose, standing on threes hooves while flexing her front right hoof. She was wrapped up like a mummy in rolls of pink fabric. “I just made it ‘cause I remembered that I don’t actually have a real power suit. Can you believe it? I didn’t had a power suit! Thankfully, I remembered where I could find the fabric to make one. Now, time to face Ur, the stellar terror.”
“Um, Pinkie, let me say three things.” Rarity took a deep breath and cleared her voice before continuing. “First, Ur doesn’t seem to be a menace if you don’t provoke her. Second, even if she was a problem, I don’t think we could handle her, I mean, look at her size. And third, were did you get that fabric?”
“From your boutique, of course.”
“Pinkie!”
“Okay, the Ursa isn’t dangerous,” Twilight started, taking a quick look at the Ursa that had started to imitate Luna. “The princess just need to sleep and Rarity just has to buy more fabric tomorrow. I think we can get back to play with our pets.”
“There’s still one more problem to resolve,” Said Applejack.
Twilight turned to look at the country pony and walked up to her. “One more? What do you mean Applejack?” Twilight tilted her head to the side.
Applejack couldn’t avoid to show a goofy grin when Twilight tilted her head. “The problem is that Ah can’t get you out of mah mind.” ‘Smack’. “Ah mean! We don’t know why Trixie is here.” She quickly added, trying to ignore Pinkie laughing on the ground.
Trixie was still hiding behind a nearby tree, shaking from mane to tail. Her head peeked around the trunk, feebly protected by her raised hooves. Twilight took it that she was the one that had to calm Trixie, seeing that her friends didn’t wanted anything to do with the showpony.
“Trixie, don’t be afraid, the Ursa isn’t a threat. You can come out from there.”
Trixie lifted her head, “A-are you sure that it is safe?” Trixie laid her eyes on the sleeping beast. After that she looked at the other ponies that were looking back at her. “I mean, of course it’s safe. After all, the Great and Powerful Trixie it’s here, she can protect everypony with her magic, so don’t worry.” With the exception of Twilight and Luna, the other ponies rolled their eyes.
“Umm, thanks?” Twilight looked at Trixie while she made her way up to her, still shaking a little. “So, tell me Trixie, why are you here and why do you need me for that?”
“Trixie is here to prove she is the world's most powerful unicorn,” Trixie started to pace around. “You see, after our last encounter, Trixie has been training tirelessly to become even more great and powerful that she already was. After Trixie heard about your ascent to alicorn and new title as princess, she immediately made her way to meet up with you.”
“If you came immediately, how come you just arrived today? The coronation was over a week ago,” asked Rarity.
“Trixie already told you that she doesn’t have enough bits for transportation and...” She let a sigh escape. “She got lost a few times on her way here. But that’s not important. What is important, is that Trixie is here to challenge Twilight Sparkle to a magic duel!”
“Again?” Rainbow poked Trixie on the side. “You never learn your lesson, do you? You couldn’t beat her before when she was an unicorn, and now, you want to try again when she turned in a alicorn? Pffft, good luck with that.”
“This time is different! Trixie trained really hard to improve her powers. Trixie will show all of you that she can beat Twilight without the help of any kind of jewelry.” Trixie directed her gaze to Twilight. “So what do you say, Sparkle? Do you accept my challenge?”
Twilight looked at a nearby tree where Owlowiscious was perched, she just wanted to go and play with him. “I don’t know about that. I shoul-”
“Do it, sugarcube, accept her duel. She’s just gonna pester you ‘til you do.”
Twilight sighed. She just wanted to have a peaceful day playing with her pet and friends, but she wouldn’t get to it until she dealt with this. “I guess you are right, Applejack. Trixie, let’s duel.”
“Excellent. Once The Great and Powerful Trixie beats Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn and princess of Equestria, her name will pass to history as the greatest unicorn of the world. Now, don’t waste more time. Let’s take our places.”
Twilight and Trixie walked away from the group and set to stand back to back, they made sure there were a distance of twenty hoofsteps between them and then turned to face each other.
“Okay Trixie, you say when we start.”
“Just a second, Sparkle. Trixie is a showpony, she can’t start any kind of magic without making a great presentation first.”
Rainbow snorted, “Wasn’t she saying to not waste more time just a moment ago? She sure likes to show off.”
“That’s something you two have in common, sugarcube.” Rainbow just ignored that comment.
Twilight took a quick look at the Ursa, ‘there are certain things than make her angry,’ she remembered. “Trixie, whatever you do, just don’t make something-”
“Behold and be awed by the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” Trixie materialized a dozen of fireworks that quickly made their way up to the sky. There were big colored explosions in the blue firmament, one of the fireworks created a message in the sky, ‘Need entertainment for a party? Contact Trixie’.
“Flashy,” Twilight finished when the last bang of the fireworks muffled.
For the second time of the day, a large shadow covered the area where the group of ponies were. The Ursa stood on her hind legs, lifted her head up to the sky and let an angry roar that made Trixie’s fireworks seem feeble in comparison.
Ur. the Ursa Major, i should have seen that but nooo, all i could think about was the about that Sister of fate in Norse mythology
Aw. I was hoping for Trixie to fall for her too.
I looked at the character tags and it kinda made me suspicious of Trixie loving Twilight, but I still sorta fell for it.
Nice work, keep it up please.
trixie you little b!*^#
So, Trixie is in advertisement now, huh?
LOL! Go Trixie! GO!
bet you got that thumbs down for trolling about trixie, but still why? she would make a great new addition to the battle for twilights heart, also going to call it now that trixie will become twilights apprentice after the battle, so she will be in the story more.
Well you got me. I am sooooooooooo glad that Trixie hasn't fallen for twilight as well. So heres my theory, the elements are somehow fucking with the heads of the rest of the mane 6 and Luna is the only one who actually loves her.
2944240 That was implied.
2944323 No it was hinted at, totally different thing
2943702 yeah, she will be in a few more chapters.
2944332
Definition of imply: Strongly suggest the truth or existence of (something not expressly stated): "the report implies that two million jobs might be lost".
Definition of hinted: Suggest or indicate something indirectly or covertly.
Yep, totally different thing. The definitions are exactly the same. Totally different of course.
Eh. Boo. I don't want to see another dislike though.
2945282 Dude I was kidding, lighten up a bit.
And then everypony died. The End
2946135 You ruined the surprise ending. Guess I will have to think something else
Trixie? The next time you want to show off? DON'T!
I loved Pinkie's strategic withdrawal, by the way; I think that she's sometimes the smartest pony in town!
2946216 I think so too.
Trixie! Good to see you! You’re as loathsome and unpleasant as always, I see
Interrupting Fluttershy’s attempt to flirt with Twilight…*cracks knuckles* Trixie, now you must die
Right after Twilight cleans up your mess…AGAIN
"So heres my theory, the elements are somehow fucking with the heads of the rest of the mane 6 and Luna is the only one who actually loves her."
Kind of hoping that’s not the case, I thought it was sweet how they all fell for her.
Also not a fan of TwiLuna. If she wins, fine, it's just that if the others love was artificial, that was severely disappoint me
I was, however, impressed with the Rarity + Spike scene. Well done!
2947549 that theory is not 100% correct.
2948255 Pink Roll people.
2945560 I know, I just sent that before putting a at the end. Without the emblem it does seem harsh, but I too meant it as a joke.
Oh, phew. Thanks for not making Trixie fall in love with Twilight too... I was scared for a moment xD
And, let's see, is Twilight going to have to put this Ursa Major in its place like she did the Ursa Minor?
I really like Rarity there being as honest as an Applejack.
Even going as far as telling it hasn´t been her own idea to talk it out with him. Ofc she´s going a bit far with not deserving a chance with Twi but that´s Dramarity for you.
Spike´s so damn mature for hiding the pain caused by the rejection. I know that feel, had been there as well... Spike´s a boss the way he handled crying Rarity and even cheered her up to go after Twi. Not many would be able to do so in his position.
The whole shoulder and mane caressing thingie was a bit much though, far too intimate given what have happend. I can see that those actions were chosen to show Spike´s love even in Rare´s rejection to her but i think his hands holding her hoof and giving it a strong squeeze to show respekt for her honesty and support for her love would have hold a better message. Then again, both works just fine i guess. I for myself would have preferred a less intimate one but i think Spike also deserves it for the glorious deed he did there.
This sentence feels a bit hmmm weird? For one it should "it's like" or "then it is like". The "Maybe, you are just confused" should either be "were just confused" or be changed completly. Like for example *"You aren´t horrible, you´re normal. You just wanted your special somepony to be happy, with you." 'Just like i wanted you to become happy with me.'Spike bite down this selfish poisoned thought before it could jump onto his tongue.*
This way you can show the struggle of Spike´s selfish love aka wanting Rarity to be happy with him which could in later chapters still be shown with thoughts/hopes that Twi will reject Rarity and thus she´ll return to him (in his dreamworld/fantasy world/daydreams) as well as his selfless love which wants Rarity to be happy no matter what even if it means his own unhappiness.
Spike got a real huge white armor in this chapter, clearly deserving it and our sympathie and respect, but you could make him more realistic (don´t forget he´s still a dragon who´s kind is one of greed and selfishness, like the time he became Spikezilla and Rarity was "his") with showing such a thought pircing through his mind, never leaving his mouth thus remaining his own secret aka Rare and co don´t know that there´s still a little side in Spike which hasn´t given up Rarity, but the readers will see it and thus become secret partners with Spike and understand and pity his misery even more.
Kinda like Hitchcock did with telling the readers about the bomb but the MC had no idea about it and the readers were all "fuck man, run! There´s a bomb in the fuckign house you´re in! Why dont you know what i know from the villian? DO SOMETHING! DON`T DIE!".
You have the chance to do the same here and in future chapters, a Spike-reader thing which the other cast members don´t notice or spare much thought cause of their own struggles to get Twi´s love/to try to appease all and not hurt anypony problem.
For example i would expect Spike to want Twi and Rare to be happy but here and there comes small but significant moments where Spike wants Twi to reject Rarity, wants Rarity to feel the same despair as he did, wants Twi to stop loving Rarity, feels like Twi doesn´t deserve Rarity, can´t understand why Twi isn´t hooves over head into Rarity and frustrated with her and angry and why he has to feel that way knowing its wrong to wish both mean things, but he had been hurt, oh so hurt and sad and lonely, and why her and not him, why could she provide his princess the happiness he wanted to give her all along, why her and not him, why, why, why, WHY?
Well such stuff could be lead up that Spike would ring down each of such greedy, selfish thoughts, but they would over time leave their wounds as he becomes more less-talktive, doesn´t meet the others as much as before and so on, till his despair takes over and greed and selfishness turns him into a giant dragon mind set onto ponynapping Rarity and leave Ponyville.
It could happen so after a date between Twi and Rare with lots of such small in Spike´s head moments with selfish thoughts when he hears of Twi and Rare kissing, like maybe from Sweetie Belle for example. This could become a way to show both Rarity´s, Twi´s and Spike´s chara growth by them being able to turn him back to his old self and him accepting, really accepting not just surpressing it like he did here, that he and Rarity won´t have a romantic future together and that he doesn´t want to hate Twi over this.
Plus such thoughts like from last chapter
could be used as fundation of Spike´s dark dragon side which duels inside Spike´s mind with his kind and caring ponyside he got being raised by ponies.
Well, just a possibility/way to make Rare´s chara stronger and one which i think you might like given that she´s your fav. Rarity sure wouldn´t mind more screentime.
And this just gives my thoughts of Spike secretly resenting Twilght sometimes even more fuel. Well, i don´t think the whole Rarity-Spike affair was dealt with just this rejection scene though i might be wrong.
Oooooh, hint! I´m saying its the element of harmony trying to grow stronger with chaning friendship into love with the magic element being the focus to gather the strength there to get a level up.
I dunno how Luna gets into that but maybe she´ll get an element once the elements of harmony goes up a level and becomes the elements of love like the titles says so?
Whut? You mean "that worried" or is there something else i don´t get about this sentence?
Again, here i expected some whisper of his wild dragon side inside his head to make this a more ominous ending as well as him not doing the chores right away. He´s still a baby dragon and given from the show i donßt think he´s the type of person to throw himself into work to forget about his miseries. It would have left a more bitter taste to some readers if Spike had tried to "sweeten" his rejection: You know, eating icecream, listening to music and having some gems to crack. And then end it with something like "That ice tastes so salty." implying that Spike crys rivers of tears which drops into his bucket of ice, salting his means to make what has happend easier instead of a "He collapsed on the floor and started to cry." short off sentence.
But that´s just me wanting to see Spike´s misery drawn out in all its dark colors.
Why do i sense some Rarity plan coming with coupling up Spike with Sweetie Belle?^^;
Then again i do like SweetiexSpike quite a bit.
Also this could have made another good moment for Spike´s wild, greedy and selfish dragon side trying to stir shit up in his brain but Sike jsut shakes his head and the dark thoughts are gone, for now~
Yeah, i can be a real bastard i know, wanting to prolong Spike´s suffering and turning him from victim to predator.
That´s cause in my scenario you ate the icecream and gems yesterday and are tired of the music you have listend to nonstop during the dar before you finally managed to get up and start the work like dusting off the bookshelves but just when you started Twi came home and made you stop. So all that´s left is your unfinsihed work from yesterday.^^
Perfect Pinkie scene is perfect. No respect for personal space nor idea of what´s accepted at this point or not, just wants to show her huge huge huge love for her sweetiepie. <3
You could add "Her menacing stare made Rainbow swallow deeply." though its not needed but it would give it a more detailed description as well as understanding why RD decided to fly up instead to face AJ face-on. :)
You know, after Twi allowing Rarity to give her a pet name i´m sure the others who hasn´t yet will surely follow up. And AJ gonna have problems with her sugarcube which she normally uses for everypony and her lack of pet names for close lovers cause she didn´t had anypony as lover before, while RD tries to think up a "cool" petname and Pinkie just makes a huge list of silly petnames and reads everyone to Twi in the evening asking her which one of the 542 ones she liked and poor Fluttershy has a good pet name in mind but struggles to adress Twi with it out of fear she won't like it (Dawwww). <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I dunno, i expected some reaction from the others hearing Rarity calling Twi with a petname like close lovers do. Plus what i wrote above could make some funny and/or adorable moments between Twi and Shy/Pinkie/AJ/RD.
Pinkie Pervert or Pervert Pie?
Anyway i liked Pinkie´s honest desire to yay Twi´s plot and yay this and yay that with her. XDDD
YES; FLUTTERSHY! YOU CAN DO IT! GET YOUR SHIPPING TIME WITH TWI YOU DESERVE SO MUCH!!! DO IT! DOOOOOOO IIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!
-DOH!
Go die in a fire, Trixie!
Awww, poor Shy really needs her moments with Twi else she´s left behind in the dust. *sniffle*
I wonder anyway why you haven´t used Twi´s protective/helpful side to Shy´s natural beauty/"helplessness" side. I could imagine lots of scenes where Twi would feel the growing need to be at Shy´s side, to help her, protect her and make her smile and her eyes shine or scenes where Shy tries to be all Rarity/RD going as "come get me, Tiger, t-that is only if you want to of c-cource, i wasn´t too forceful, wasi? Oh my, i´m blushing so much~" while Twi is all "stay down, my wings! Stay the FUCK down! I know lots of guys would die happy after seeing Fluttershy in red lingerie ONCE but dont embarress me n-ah fuuuuuuuuuu-".
XDDD
One spaebar too much.
Trixie
My thoughts, AJ, my thoughts.
Lolz about the Twi-paperstock moment btw. XD
Why
Yet. I bet she´ll stay, become Twi´s apprentice now that she´s an alicorn and over time fall in love with her too cause of Twi´s power, kindness, etc and gives us readers more fuel to believe Twi´s magic is doing something to the ponies minds close to her.
Photofinish likes this. It had..... DE MAGICKS!
I forgot to mention that Twi´s a princess and thus rich, another point Trixie will start to love with Twi. XDDD
I gonna say this already: Damnit, Trixie.
Poor Luna, finally she has her day date with Twi and then she falls asleep. Poor girl should get her big sister to REALLY help her, like setting the moon up so that she can sleep in the night without worrying about the sun and moon and be fresh for the next day. I mean Celestia did handle sun, moon and stars for a thousand years. It would make sense for Luna to get help from her to share some of her night duties so that she can attack Twi at day fully awake.
You know the sleeping Luna under shadow scene could have been described a bit more and then added a "Twi smiles fondly at that cute scene before with Luna sleeping peacefully under the tree´s shadow." and then the others ofc not liking this look of Twi towards the princess, their biggest threat in beauty/power/etc., and interrputs it with something about Ur/Trixie/etc.
I think anypony else would be better than Shy for this. Fluttershy fears only dragons of the wild animals realm. In the comics she commented a fight between two predator animals over the right to eat her and the others as "nature is so fascinating" while they were ripping each other throats out and the other five were looking at that with reactions reaching from fainting to oooooooookaaaay to almost vomiting and lose jaw. XDDD
I doubt Shy would find Ur threating once she hears that she´s a pet. I bet she would even get closer to it to welcome it and try to make Angel befriend it so that poor Ur doesn´t feel so lonely anymore on the pet date. <3
Ofc Angel is all "are you crazy?" before Shy gives her the stare and Angel sighs and waves up to Ur who´s unsure how to react to a bunny trying to befriend her. XDDD
Which could also be a moment where Twi is again surprised by Shy´s way with animals, even such huge ones like Ur.
Then again i hope for a Shy moment in the next chapter, where Shy and her animal ways can protect Twi and co which would give her the chance to spend some time alone with Twi as reward as the others agree that Shy needs some push so that they all have a fair chance.^^
^I hope you've read that hope of mine.
Awesome! <3
See, that what i mean with small moments and which is what i hope will be done with Spike as well but more of a dark matter than AJ´s funny romantic honest ones. ^_^
But shouldn't it be "get" instead of "take"?
Also Trixie not trixie.
Daawww, i really like Owlowiscious after that episode with Spike as caretaker for the pets, his personality as pet just fits Twi so much. <3
"Applejack´s comment" might sound a bit better than again we all know which pony calls others sugarcube. ;D
I quote myself:
And then Fluttershy comes and saves the day after the failed attempts of Twi and co and FINALLY gets her time alone chance with Twilight ending with her being able to call Twi with a pet name or giving Twi a peck on the cheek or being so natural sexy/beautiful/protective feelings instirring without even noticing that Twi has a hard time to not jump Shy out of nowhere.
Liked this chapter alot. Hope for more chapters to come from you.
And where the fuck did all my pony emocons go??? I used tons in my comment below.
Trixie.....
Ah AJ, you just rock.
2952188 Wow, this one is long, first, I'm gonna correct the mistakes and after that, will read this with calm.
2952188 With the correction of the mistakes done, it's time for serious business. Your idea of the dark side of Spike has caught my attention. I will be giving a lot of thought to that. Maybe, he will be a little depressed for a while, but after that...
Some ideas will be implemented in the future.
There will be a moment for Fluttershy to shine.
2964287 hahahahaha, you could say that is obvious as heck, and i agree, but there were people expecting something else.
Successful troll is successful!
I seriously thought Trixie was going to confess. I freely admit that you got me there.
*Sees Ursa* Oh bugger
2952188 "And AJ gonna have problems with her sugarcube which she normally uses for everypony"
Interesting thing about that, some time ago I searched the episode transcripts, and Applejack DOES seem to reserve "sugarcube" mainly for Twilight, having called her that no less than five times over the course of the show. ("Mare in the Moon" "Elements of Harmony" "Boast Busters" "Lesson Zero" and "Canterlot Wedding Part 1)
She has called Pinkie and Fluttershy by that name once EACH ("Dragonshy" for Fluttershy, and "Party of One" for Pinkie") and contrary to fanfiction and fanart, she has NEVER called Rarity or Rainbow Dash by that nickname. Also, once for Applebloom, if memory serves
Oh yes, she also called Spike that twice in "Spike at your Service", but given the quality of that episode, I prefer to think that episode never actually happened
2979523
Well, Twilight is as sweet as sugar, isn´t she?
2979529 Sugar wishes it was as sweet as Twilight
3031987 If something happens in season 4 of mlp between those 2, I'll have to add the tag of alternative universe to this.
But more than that, I don't think anythig special. If they become a couple, then it's okay, if they don't, it's okay as well.
2956000
must be hell to get your name right
3396933
Or she just wants to make a fool of herself.