Halo: Fall of Equestria

by Big-Mac-115

Chapter One: Contact

War is an abominable thing. It is bloody, vile, oppressing, heinous, and vexing. But worse than war is the idea of defeat. With defeat, comes hopelessness for whomever experiences it, and without hope, comes things far worse than a simple war could ever bring. However, let this be certain; no civilization, large or small, is defeated when lives are lost, when physical possessions are plundered, or the place of one's homeland is destroyed. Defeat, in all it's hideousness, comes only when the morale is oppressed. When hope is lost. When all will to defend and protect is taken. Only then will defeat prevail. And with a reason to fight, be it personal gain or the better will of a whole, anyone can bring hope. Anyone can sustain the moral of their people. Anyone can be a soldier, anyone can defend and protect, and most importantly, anyone can win a war.

And without a reason to fight, defeat has already conquered.

Chapter One: Contact

March 19, 2756
0949 hours
Royal Palace, Canterlot, Equestria

Where is the Princess? Dauntless glanced around her courtroom for what felt like the hundredth time, and flicked a stray lock of dark purple hair out of his eyes. He felt bare, and almost incomplete, without his hemet and armor; normally he would be wearing it, especially when requested in the Princess's presence. But she had called upon him on such short notice this morning, waking him up at about six-thirty in the morning by sending one of her combustive letters into his barracks. She had a knack for doing things like that.

He and his squad of four other royal guards; Stalwart, Sunspot, Specter, and Ruhig Tödlich, had been standing in formation for the last three hours, chins held high and motionless at a crisp attention, and they were growing tired. They had been summoned by Her Majesty, requesting their presence in the matters of discussing a mission she had for them, and though she didn’t disclose exactly what this “mission” entitled, if the order came from Princess Celestia herself, they knew it had to be of the utmost importance. At this point, Dauntless had begun to think it was another one of her little jokes (she had been bestowed the nickname 'Trollestia" for a reason), but he and the rest of the team didn't DARE run the risk of leaving early in case she did in fact show up; it would probably mean demotion at best, the end of their careers at worst.

However, just as he began to think he'd been royally played, he heard the massive door to the courtroom open behind him, followed by heavy hoofsteps. Not daring to turn around and break his saluting stance, he had to assume it was Princess Celestia, and he spoke up on behalf of his troops. "Ma'am, 22nd Royal Security Regiment, reporting as ordered, ma'am!"

A chuckle came from behind them. "At ease, soldiers!" Luna mocked in a deep voice.

Dauntless was slightly startled at her presence, and he and his squad turned around to face her. "Princess Luna! We are here on strict orders to see Princess Celestia. Have you any idea where she is?"

"Oh, you mean you got a letter from her saying that she 'had a mission that she needed you to accomplish, and she needed to see you in her court at once'? THOSE strict orders?" Luna smiled slyly.

".......Yes, ma'am. How did you kn-"

The princess of the night chuckled. "Good, glad to see my hornwriting matched hers enough for you to think it was indeed her."

Actually, Dauntless didn't check the hornwriting; orders were orders, and they weren't to be questioned. He kept this to himself, though. "Your Majesty, with all due respect, you have wasted our valuable time by summoning us here without legitimate reason. Have you an actual request of us, or are we simply here for your amusement?" He said this last sentence with a biting tone; he didn't like the fact that he lost the last three hours just standing here doing nothing.

She smirked. "A bit of both, actually..... What? Is there a problem with wanting to spend some time with Equestria's best group of soldiers every once in a blue moon?"

"When we could be doing better, more important things, yes there is a problem."

The princess sighed. "Ugh, you guys are no fun. Anyway, yes I do have a small assignment for you."

That's more like it. For a moment, I thought I was going to have to start calling her "Princess Lunnoyance". He laughed silently to himself.

Luna circled around in front of the five guards as she spoke. She was large, taller than most other ponies in Equestria in fact, but by comparison she was still dwarfed by these five massive stallions. "You're probably not gonna like this, but you all know my nephew Prince Blueblood, right?"

Yes, unfortunately... Everypony in the royal palace hated that little brat, Dauntless and his team being no exception. "Yes, ma'am. Why do you ask? Does he need a good flank-kicking?" He knew it was okay to joke around and loosen up a bit; Princess Luna regarded the Royal Guards as more of personal friends rather than militants, and they felt the same way about her.

"Well of course he does! He ALWAYS does! And you're always welcome to do so, any time you wish. I won't stop you!" She laughed. "Anywho, he wanted me to ask a favor of you. Mind you, I know you're probably not g-"

"Ma'am, permission to interject?"

"Yes?"

"NO."

Princess Luna frowned and drooped her shoulders. "Aww, c'mon! You haven't even heard what I have to say!"

"You said 'Prince Blueblood' and 'favor'. That's all I need to know."

".....Touche. But, even still, listen. Evidently he and another of his acquaintances was visiting Ponyville lately, and his little friend wandered into the Everfree Forest, got lost, and now he hasn't heard from him since. Blueblood mentioned his name was Eminence, and he said he wished for you to go look for him. You know, 'search-and-rescue mission'!" Her voice dripped with fake enthusiasm.

"Well, if he wandered into the Everfree forest, not only is that his own stupid fault, but he's probably dead by now as it is. When did he go missing?" Dauntless had heard this sort of thing many a time: stupid kid wanders into the forest, gets lost, never heard from again. Ponies got lost in the Everfree all the time, and nobody ever even bothered to look for them because it's almost a guarantee that they're dead already, so why should some little spoiled rich kid that is friends with Blueblood have the most elite squad in the country come looking for him?

Luna tapped her chin. "Umm... He said a week? I think. Yeah I know his chances are low to say the least, but still, can you do it? It is not like you have anything better to do as it is."

Dauntless sighed loudly and rolled his eyes.

"Look, I know you're probably not gonna to find the kid, but can you at least go so you can say you tried? Apparently it was one of his closest friends, and as much as I dislike Blueblood, he IS still my nephew. I don't want to see him go into a depression or something. Pleeaassee? Out of the goodness of your heart?" She puffed our her lower lip, making the puppy dog face. It was a face Dauntless couldn't resist, and she knew it.

".......Ugh, I SUPPOSE we could make a couple passes over the forest... But if we find him, and IS by the grace of Celestia still alive, he's going to wish the hydras and manticores had gotten to him first."

"THAT'S the spirit! Besides, you don't even have to actually rescue him. As long as the effort was made, HOPEFULLY Blueblood won't be whining about it as much."

Yeah, right... Now that he though of it, as much as Dauntless hated Luna's nephew, he had to have a little sympathy for him; he had lost many good squadmates, friends... Even family members in the line of duty, so he understood how Blueblood probably felt right now.

"Men, back to the barracks and get ready. We're leaving in one hour. You have till then to prepare. Move out!"

Every stallion in his squad except Ruhig Tödlich saluted with a booming "Sir, yes sir!", and then they all trotted briskly through the door in the direction of the barracks. Dauntless watched them as they exited, then his eyes returned to Luna, who was smiling broadly.

"Thanks, Dauntless. I know it's probably hard to do this, considering how obnoxious Blueblood is to you guys."

Dauntless waved his hoof dismissively. "Naahh, I don't much mind doing it. If it's any consolation, I can sympathize with him a little bit. I've lost too many good men - most of them being either close friends or relatives of mine - in combat. I know how it feels to lose someone close." He paused for a moment. ".......You think he would want me to talk to him? Blueblood, I mean."

Luna winced. "Ehh I don't think that'd be such a great idea. He's sensitive enough about it as it is, and you know how the whole 'authority figure' thing just rubs him the wrong way. I think the best you can do is just try to find his friend for him. That's about all he'll respond to."

"Understood. I am going to return to my quarters with the rest of the squad to prepare. Good day, Princess."

He turned to leave, but Luna stopped him. "Wait! Once again, thank you. I'm sure Blueblood himself would thank you as well, if he wasn't too busy moping..." She rolled her eyes.

"It isn't a problem, ma'am. Like I said; I know where the boy is coming from. I've seen too many good men die for a lost cause. And I'll do everything in my power to keep from losing more."

The princess smiled softly. "Well, that's... Very noble of you. Good luck, Dauntless. Although, I know you hardly need it. And I'm sure I'll be hearing back from you soon." She gave him a wink.

Dauntless blushed slightly. "Thank you, ma'am."

"Quite welcome....... Now, uhh, dismissed! Go to it! Uhm... Break a leg, or whatever it is you guys say!"

The stallion couldn't help but laugh out loud at this. "'Dismissed' will do just fine."

* * *

March 19, 2756
1029 hours
En route to Ponyville, Equestria

"Boss, permission to speak?"

"Go ahead."

"Why the hay are we out looking for this colt? You and I both know he's long dead by now."

Dauntless stopped in mid-flight, turning around and grabbing Sunspot's collar armor with a hoof, and angrily brought his face closer.

"Because it's the right thing to do. Imagine, for whatever reason, you lost your mother. Or your brother. Say you went and requested the help of the Royal Guard to assist you in finding her. Say they laughed at you and told you right to your face 'she's already dead, kid. Might as well forget about it.'..... Is that what we do? Is our job to turn down ponies that come to us in their times of need? Does that sound like Celestia's Royal Security Force to you?"

Sunspot blankly stared back into Dauntless's eyes. "No, sir. That is not what we do. You're right." Dauntless released his collar from his grasp with a forceful shove.

Specter spoke up. "Dauntless, with all due respect, sir. I know the true reason is not because 'it's the right thing to do', even though it is indeed: The reason is because you are defending Prince Blueblood. Why? It is uncharacteristic of you."

It never failed: Specter could see right through anypony's emotions, no matter how much they play it off, or how much they try to hide them. He always managed to probe through their minds with his. Darn-near telepathic..... And almost creepy.

Dauntless shook his head. "I can't give you a straight answer to that, I really don't know myself. I suppose it is because I don't like the idea of another pony dying for nothing: we all know how it feels to lose someone close. We've all lost friends and family in battle, and I don't think anypony - even somepony like Blueblood - should have to experience that. I know you all know exactly what I am talking about: there is a difference between a life spent, and a life wasted, gentlemen."
There was momentary silence as Dauntless's words sunk in to the consciences of his men.

"Then sir," Specter spoke out again, "let us waste no time."

Dauntless and the other three nodded in agreement.

The remaining fifteen minutes of the journey to Ponyville were silent.

They arrived at the small populace at about a quarter to eleven, and landed in the town square, where they were met with looks of both concern and fear by many of the citizens.

"So wheredye suppose we start lookin'?" Stalwart asked in his thick Scottish accent. "Ye think we should just head right into the forest, or should we do abit o' askin' around first?"

"It'd probably be best if we interviewed somepony to get a general idea of where he was last seen... But I'm not sure anypony here is in the mood for talking. At least to us." Sunspot replied, surveying the wary looks of the ponies, most of which were clearing away from the square.

This sort of reaction was typical: small-town ponies like this seemed to think of the Her Majesty's Royal Guards as some alien invaders rather than sworn protectors. Of course, when they were about six times more muscular and easily two to three feet taller than the average pony, who could blame them?

"Hold the phone, looks like somepony decided to be friendly enough to introduce themselves." Stalwart gestured to a purple unicorn who was approaching them, seemingly unfazed compared to the other inhabitants of Ponyville.

"Good morning, sirs!" She greeted them, grinning. "We noticed you seemed to be looking for something. Is there anything we can help you with?"

"'We'? I think it's just you. Nopony else seems to want to be of any assistance." Dauntless replied.

The unicorn laughed uncomfortably. "Right... Sorry about that. Anyway, I'm forgetting my manners. My name is Twilight Sparkle, and this is-" She glanced over her shoulder, looking for somepony who wasn't there. She turned around and called out to the missing pony. "Fluttershy! Don't be disrespectful! Come say hello!"

Dauntless followed her gaze, and found himself looking at a yellow pegasus several meters behind Twilight Sparkle, who was shaking and seemed ready to bolt away.

"My apologies, you'll have to excuse her. She's a bit shy, as you can tell." Twilight sighed.

Dauntless shrugged. "You say it as if cowering from us is an unusual reaction. Don't worry, we're used to it. Now, since you asked, we actually could use your help with something. We're looking for a certain unicorn, his name is Eminence. We were told he was here about a week ago with Prince Blueblood. I'm sure you've heard of HIM, yes?"

The unicorn rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I haven't met him, but I don't like him. He was a jerk to one of my best friends at the Grand Galloping Gala. From what I hear, he's a stuck-up snob and a real pain in the flank."

Dauntless laughed; he found it hysterical that even ponies from this small town and that had never even met the prince hated him. "Well, you heard right, Miss Twilight. Believe me, I do not think kindly of him either. However, we're here on orders to find the aforementioned acquaintance of his that has gone missing. He supposedly wandered off into the Everfree Forest. We were wondering if maybe you had seen any ponies that looked of royalty anywhere around?"

Twilight gasped. "Oh my... That's awful! I wish I could be of more help to you, but I haven't seen or heard of anypony like that. I didn't even KNOW Blueblood was in town... I hope you find him, though. Eminence, that is." Her brow furrowed in concern. "Actually, I have a fairly extensive knowledge of the Everfree, and I could possibly use my magic to help you locate him. Would you like me to come with you?"

"Well, I appreciate the offer, Miss Twilight: but I'm afraid I cannot allow it. Really, ponies are encouraged not to go into the forest as it is, so I can't take you in there, even under our watch. It would be..." He searched for the word. It wasn't unlawful, but the Princess surely wouldn't smile upon the idea of taking this unicorn into the Everfree and possibly risking her life to look for some lost pony.

Then it hit him. "Wait, you said your name was Twilight Sparkle?"

She tilted her head and nodded, slightly confused at the sudden change of subject.

"YOU'RE the one Celestia always talks about!" Sunspot called forth with excitement.

Dauntless shot a warning glance back at him for speaking out of line. "Yes, we have heard many great things about you. She calls you her 'prized pupil', her 'prodigy', the 'Element of Magic', is it?"

Twilight blushed. "Yeahhh that's me I guess."

"Well, it is an honor to meet you, ma'am. My name is Dauntless, and this is Sunspot, Specter, Stalwart, and Ruhig Tödlich." He gave each of them their respective nods as he said their names. "We are 22nd Royal Security Regiment."

"Top o' da mornin' to ye, malady!" Stalwart boomed with a wide grin.

"Hey, how's it goin'?" Sunspot cooed in a seductive tone, which earned him a jab in the ribs from Stalwart.

"Greetings, Twilight Sparkle." said Specter in his usual, monotone voice.

Ruhig Tödlich only gave a quick nod of acknowledgment.

"You'll have to excuse him." Dauntless said. "He lost most of his ability to speak in a fight, so he rarely talks."

"Eh, I know how that is" Twilight said with a shrug, and motioned back toward Fluttershy, who still seemed terrified and on edge.

"Speakin' o' that," Stalwart interjected, staring at the yellow pegasus, "I think I just might try to talk ta her. Maybe get her to calm down a wee bit."

Dauntless glared at him, but Stalwart simply shrugged. "What? She seems like she could use somepony ta talk to." He walked casually in the direction of Fluttershy, who quickly took several unsteady steps back, stumbling on the last one.

Dauntless rolled his eyes. He knew there was no point in trying to stop the read-headed stallion. Stalwart considered orders hardly more than friendly requests, and he really didn't see himself getting into a heated argument with Stalwart anytime soon; he was even larger than Dauntless, and even though he outranked him, Stalwart wouldn't think twice about getting phyisically violent with a superior officer. He had done it before.

He then remembered why they were here in the first place, and that they had a job to do. "Well, all things aside, back to our original conversation. I appreciate the notion that you would like to help us in our search Miss Twilight, but I don't think the Princess would think kindly upon the idea of me taking her prized pupil into the Everfree, regardless of the reason."

"I understand." She gave a respectful nod.

Dauntless nodded back. "Alright. Gentlemen! Let's move! Stalwart, that means you too."

"Aww, but I was just gettin' acquainted!" He called over from near Fluttershy, who seemed to have calmed down significantly in the brief moments the two had been talking.

He narrowed his eyes at Stalwart. He need not say anything; his expression did the talking for him. Get over here before I tell everyone in earshot that you still sleep with a teddy bear.

Stalwart knew that these threats weren't empty, so he trotted over to Dauntless's side once more and took his place among the ranks, muttering something under his breath.

"Well thank CELESTIA! I was starting to think the flirting would NEVER end." Sunspot exclaimed as sarcastically as possible.

"Hmph! And YOU'RE one ta talk?" Stalwart scolded. "Does 'hey, how's it goin'?' ring a bell?" He mocked Sunspot in the same seductive tone he had used on Twilight.

"Well at least I didn't go out of my way to try to get some from that pegasus!"

"Now you listen here; I wasn't tryin' ta 'get some', I was just makin' a friendly gesture, somethin' that the likes o' YOU wouldn't know about if it came up and bit ye right in the a-"

"STALWART! SUNSPOT! ENOUGH!!"

They immediately stopped squabbling and snapped to a crisp attention. "Yes, sir!"

Dauntless turned back to Twilight. "Disregard anything those two say. They tend to forget who they are sometimes." He said with a hint of embarrassment.

Twilight laughed uneasily. "It's fine. I understand that males can't help but have the urge to flirt sometimes; it's natural."

"But that's just it. These are supposed to be my trained, disciplined soldiers, NOT some group of teenagers out looking for their next date." He said this with a stern glare back at his troops.

Twilight shrugged. "Well, I suppose that's not any of MY business. Maybe you should knock them over the head more often, to keep them in line!" She teased.

"Oh, I'm likin' this idea!" Stalwart said excitedly, and with that, he slammed his hoof down on Sunspot's helmet, hard enough to make it ring for a good five seconds.

Sunspot was too stunned by the blow to respond immediately: instead he stood dazed for a moment before turning to his attacker, who just grinned broadly.

"What? 'Twas the lady's idea, not mine."

Dauntless had given up at this point: he simply stood staring at the ground in front of Twilight, rubbing his temple with a hoof until they were finished. "Are you two going to be like this every time we leave the palace? If so, I'll just take Specter and Ruhig next time."

This was enough to silence the two stallions.

"Again, I apologize for the UN-EXEMPLARY behavior of these two." Dauntless shook his head in disappointment.

Twilight just laughed. "As improper as it is, I must admit it's considerably entertaining."

"Yeah, well, as much as I know they'd like to be, they're not comedians. ESPECIALLY when we're on assignment."

"Well, like I said, perhaps a good kick in the flank would be in order for them every so often and DON'T DO IT!" Her eyes widened as she saw Stalwart look at Sunspot with a devious smile.

"Anywho, good luck to you guys! I hope you find whomever it is that you're looking for!"

Dauntless smiled warmly. "I do too, Miss Twilight. I do too. 'Twas a pleasure meeting you! Hope we cross paths again soon!" With these last few words, he and the other four guards took to the sky with their powerful wings, and began flying toward the Everfree.

* * *

March 19, 2756
1104 hours
Town Square, Ponyville, Equestria

"That was... Interesting." Twilight thought aloud as she watched the five stallions as they glided over the buildings of Ponyville, away from her and Fluttershy, and in the direction of the forest. "Alright, lets go, Fluttershy."

She looked over her shoulder at the pegasus, who was sitting on the ground and still shaking slightly as she also watched the guards depart. "Fluttershy, don't worry. They're gone. And besides, it's not like they were ever going to hurt you in the first place."

She warily pulled herself off her rump, and continued walking with Twilight to Sweet Apple Acres, where they were to be having lunch with the rest of the Apple family later today. "I... I know, I just... They were so big and scary-looking. I know they meant no harm, but they're just so loud, and they seemed a little bit hostile, I guess..." She paused. "But... I like the one with the accent who came over and talked to me. He seemed really nice..... Well, of course, aside from always harassing the blonde one... But I guess that's just what boys do....."

"Well, they're all nice in their own way." Sorta... She wasn't sure if the one that they called Sunspot was "nice" in any way, considering that he had little to say but sarcastic and disrespectful remarks.

But something about them seemed familiar, like she already knew that particular team of royal guards on a personal level. Had she read about them somewhere? Had she studied them without recalling it? Had she met them before? She hadn't a clue. Their names struck a bell, too. She knew that the leader's name, "Dauntless", meant fearless and brave. But she also felt like that name meant something else, like she SHOULD remember it, but couldn't.

Then it dawned on her. "Of course! 22nd Royal Security Regiment! I KNEW they sounded familiar!"

This sudden outspoken epiphany earned a confused and frightened look from Fluttershy.

"Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about that group of soldiers, and something brought to mind about them. Then I remembered that they're the ones that Princess Celestia always talks about! She boasts about them quite a bit, actually. According to her, they're about the best team of militants in Equestria. I just wish I had remembered that when they were here, I would have brought it up! Wow, I actually feel kind of honored to have met them, don't you?"

Fluttershy's eyes wandered uncomfortably "Umm, well... I suppose... They seemed..... Okay..."

Twilight was a bit disappointed at her lack of enthusiasm, but she understood; Fluttershy had never been big on anything that had to do with war, conflict, or any sort discordance at all.

".....What was the big one's name again? Fluttershy asked sheepishly. "Stalwart, right?"

Twilight nodded.

"...Stalwart..." Fluttershy repeated quielty to herself, and smiled. "He hardly had time to introduce himself before the one with the purple mane said they had to go."

"Yes, but you have to understand, they didn't come here to socialize: they're on a mission to find a missing pony. They only stopped to ask us if we had seen him. They were in a bit of a hurry."

Speaking of being in a hurry, Twilight remembered that they told Applejack that they would be at Sweet Apple acres by eleven fifteen, and they had probably lost about ten minutes talking to the guards.

"Oh no, c'mon, Fluttershy! We're going to be late!" She picked up the pace to a brisk trot, followed by Fluttershy, to the apple farm, where she planned to spend the rest of the day eating, playing, and generally having a good time together with her best friends.

But plans change.

* * *

March 19, 2756
1810 hours
Everfree Forest, Equestria

Dauntless's fears were being realized. He knew from the start that there was little chance of finding the missing friend of Blueblood, but he tried to be as optimistic as possible up to this point. They had been flying over the Everfree in their standard overlapping search pattern for several hours now, with no sign of anypony so far, and though they still had only searched about half of the forest, there wasn't much hope left; they were now several miles from Ponyville, and the farther and farther they ventured from the town, the thicker and more dangerous the forest got. If they hadn't had success by now, they weren't going to have any at all. But still, they persisted. He thought it was ironic that he had been reluctant to even try to find him when Luna had first suggested it, but now it had turned into such a personal objective. He still wasn't sure why, either.

"Specter, see anything?" Dauntless asked desperately.

"Negative." He replied.

"Sunspot?"

"Nope."

"Ruhig?"

He shook his head.

Dauntless sighed. "And I KNOW you haven't seen anything Stalwart, because you would be having a hyperactivity attack right now."

"Too right, mate."

"Boss, believe me, I wanna find this colt just as much as the next pony, but..... I'm sorry, but there's just no hope at this point. We've looked over almost half the forest, and there's just nopony here. I think we should just go home." suggested Sunspot.

Dauntless sighed. As much as he didn't want to admit it, the young stallion was right. At this point, they were surely wasting their time. Besides, at least we tried, right? He shook his head. No, trying isn't good enough... But there was simply just no hope left.

"Alright..... Let's turn around boys, we're heading b-"

Dauntless felt somepony tap his shoulder, and he turned to see Ruhig pointing a hoof toward the horizon in the distance. He followed his gaze, and saw what looked like..... Smoke? Yes, it was smoke, slowly trickling out of the treeline and over the forest. He felt his heart rise in his chest, almost threatening to leave him. Could it have been a campfire set by the missing colt? A signal for help? He hadn't a clue. But whatever it was, they were going to investigate.

"Men, I think we may have found something."

They made a beeline for the spot where the smoke seemed to originate from, and descended below the treeline, and into the dark canopy of the forest. However, upon reaching the ground, they found something that surprised and disheartened them: a small hut, or what was left of it, stood in a clearing of burned trees and scorched undergrowth, about a hundred feet in diameter. They speechlessly and unknowingly spit up and began wandering about, surveying the scene, taking it in with both caution and worry. There were patterns of black, charred bark on the trees, almost as if somepony had splashed molten lava about the litte clearing. Small bushfires still danced on the ground, but the were of no immediate threat; they were too small, and looked to be about ready to die on their own. The small house itself stood in small segments. Only parts of it were still standing, the majority looked as if it had been blown apart with a considerably-sized explosion. Which may or may not explain the strange burnmarks on the trees and ground... Dauntless thought absent-mindedly.

"Well I'll be damned..." Stalwart said grimly, and motioned for Dauntless and the others to come join him on the other side of the clearing. They did so, and what they saw made their hearts drop like stones; there, in a small crater-like depression in the forest floor, was the body of a pony. Or was it a pony? No... Dauntless recognized the telltale black stripes and off-white body of a zebra. His eyes played grimly over the corpse: most of her coat around her back and flanks had been singed off, revealing bare skin that was red, splotchy, and covered in heat blisters. Her face wore and expression of shock, her mouth hagning open and her eyes staring cold and lifeless at the forest in front of her. Around her neck and front legs were dozens of gold bands, many of which had been melted together and become just large, twisted masses of metal. But near her chest and stomach was the most disturbing sight. Her entire lower half from the navel down was missing, the flesh and bone that would and should have been connecting the two halves was also blackened and burned to a crisp. Some of her organs were spilling out from her abdomen, the red, raw flesh a gruesome and gory sight that made even Dauntless, a hardened and desensitized soldier, want to throw up. Feeling his stomach turn over inside of him, he had to look away and breath through his mouth to get rid of the rancid smell that the burning flesh produced. He couldn't begin to imagine what - or who - could have done this. The only thing that he could think of was possibly an attack by a rouge dragon, but he wasn't so sure, because if that was the case, it probably would have consumed this body. He consulted his expert. "Specter, what's your analysis on what could have happened here? This is like nothing I've ever encountered before."

The lean, brown-maned stallion just stood silent, still looking about at the forest around him and the body.

"Specter?"

He shook his head. "The pattern of burn marks and rate of the depression of the fire is inconsistent with a possible forest fire, and fact that there is still a body left unconsumed rules out the possibility of a dragon attack." Once again, is was almost as if he read Dauntless's mind. "And there is no weapon or force on Equestria that I am aware of that could cause such an explosion as the one that was inflicted upon the dwelling of this individual. Or, I am assuming that is her dwelling." He shook his head. "I do not know."

Hearing these words come from the mouth of Specter was terrifying; he ALWAYS knew. He ALWAYS had a hypothesis. But now, he just didn't know. But, nopony knew everything, so with a slow nod Dauntless said "Alright. Men, stay alert. We don't know who or what did this, and they may still be nearby." It occurred to him that this incident had to have happened recently..... VERY recently, since there were still small fires going on the ground and the charred marks on the trees still glowed slightly red with embers. He also wondered why this zebra was here, this deep in the forest. He wondered how long she could have been out here, and how she had survived. Well, up until now... The forest was a tough environment, not only because of the beasts that lived here and could easily kill and eat a pony, but resources were also very limited. Then he remembered.

"Zecora."

"Come again?" Sunspot said, confused by the sudden and un-germane statement.

"Zecora. She is... Well, WAS, the only pony under Celestia that was ever granted permission to live here in the forest. I remember reading about when looking through some files at the Palace. Celestia only allowed her to stay here because she claimed there were herbs and other ingredients that she used for spells and potions, and they could only be found here. Deep in the Everfree.

"Celestia almost didn't allow it, but being such a powerful and intelligent enchantress, Zecora said, and proved, she could take care of herself. For the most part, at least." He avoided looking at the corpse again. "Well, we had best get burial detail. Specter, document the victim and time of discovery, and label the incident as 'unknown death', and send it to Celestia. We'll have to get an investigation team out here eventually to-" his words were cut off by a loud grunt behind him. He turned around, and found himself facing Ruhig. ".....Did you say something?"

The brown pegasus shook his head.

Dauntless cocked a brow; Ruhig Tödlich wasn't one to speak out of line. Hell, he's hardly one to speak at all... He brushed it off, though. "Anyway, we had best be getting back to Canterlot. There's nothing more we can do here. We'll note the coordinates and schedule and investigation of the scene."

"Sir, what about the colt that we came all the out here lookin' for?" Stalwart reminded him.

Dauntless's stomach twisted even tighter; he had forgotten the original mission of searching for Eminence.

".......It's as Sunspot said: there's hardly a chance he's alive by now. Especially with whatever creature did this," he motioned to the zebra's mangled body once more, "still wandering around the forest. We... We failed. Not only Zecora, but Eminence. We failed them." Those words tasted like vinegar coming out of his mouth. We failed. The mere thought was detesting.

He took one last wary glance back at the scene, and with a lump still in his stomach, Dauntless and the rest of 22nd Royal Security Regiment took to the sky once more, on their way back to Canterlot, where they had a new mission: find out what did this, and stop it before it could harm any more citizens in Equestria.

Little did they know how hard this mission would be.

Two pairs of beady, red eyes watched them from the shrubbery as they departed.

Once the five creatures had flown away, the smaller of the two brutes snorted and re-holstered his plasma rifle, turning toward his commanding officer. "Why could we not just kill them? Now they are simply going to return to their capital and notify their leaders of our presence!"

"Patience, young one. It hardly matters; our presence on this planet will be obvious shortly as it is."

"Yes, but NOW they have time to prepare!" he huffed.

The massive, nine-foot-tall brute captain stood up and deactivated his active camouflage, all the while glaring down at the younger. "Bastehm, your tongue is going to get you into heaps of trouble if you do not keep it in check."

He huffed one more time before apologizing. "Forgive me, master."

They climbed out of the underbrush and walked toward the middle of the bare patch of burned turf, where the body of the white-and-black striped alien still lay in the crater caused by their plasma grenades. "So what do you suspect these creatures are? Forerunners?" Bastehm asked, looking down into the hole with disgust at the hideous foreigner.

"Doubtful.... They would possess more superior technology than they have displayed in the time we have been watching. We have been here for weeks, and have not seen so much as an electrical appliance, let alone any sign of Forerunner technology."

"Then this will be easier than we had originally anticipated." He grinned a sharp, toothy grin.

"Aye, but alas; we must be patient. We mustn't attack before the fleet is ready."

"Then what do you call that?" He asked, pointing toward the half of the body that remained in the crater.

Malmee shrugged. "Insurance. She would have tried to run and tell the rest of the population of our discovery."

"Then WHAT does it matter?" Bastehm hissed. "Those other five are on their way to do the same right now!"

"Watch your tone, boy," Malmee growled. "You almost gave away our position back there as it was. It if were not for our active camouflage, they would have surely spotted us when you did your impatient mumbling. It would be beneficial to you if you learned to keep your mouth shut." He paused. "Although, you do have a point. However, it does not matter; the rest of our ships will be dropping out of slipspace within the hour, and our assault on this world will begin."

As if on cue, the sky suddenly grew darker, and three-dozen Covenant battle cruisers, corvettes, and light destroyers entered normal space, just a couple hundred thousand feet above the surface of the planet. The two looked up at this sight, and smiled wickedly.

Malmee held his wrist up to his mouth and spoke into his COMM system. "This is scout unit 107-B, hailing Regret's Sentence: the rest of the fleet is inbound and ready to proceed with the operation. We will begin our attack on the nearest populace via our Phantom in approximately one cycle. Do you copy, over?"

"This is captain of Regret's Sentence, we read you. Any significant findings to to report from the ground?"

"Affirmative, captain. They possess limited technology and appear to be unarmed as a race." He said this on the verge of excitement and hysteria.

A booming laugh responded from the other end of the COMM link. "Then the overthrow of this planet and activation of the installation will be a most swift victory." With a click, the link was disconnected.

The two brutes strode with purpose back to their Phantom dropship a few hundred meters away in another clearing, where a platoon of a dozen grunts, ten jackals, and four more brutes awaited them. Upon return, they all shared a rousing battle howl, and lifted off, preparing for their surprise attack of the town that the natives of this planet called "Ponyville".

Stage one of the invasion was in progress.

Comments

Oh are the Covenant ever in for a surprise...

[ThatBastard]

OH YEAH!
I thought Zecora was killed from the impact of an ODST pod but I never thought it would be caused by the covenant!
This is turning out to be one awesome fic

Dude, what the fuck? Killing Zecora before she's even had a chance to show up? That's just not cool. Really. She deserves more respect than that.

If you can't respect characters as they go out then I'm going to drop this.
God, people just keep treating death as a shock tool these days.

You know what? I haven't said enough about this and it has happened too often. Mr. BIG MAC, I'm sorry that this is going to happen to you here on your page when it isn't solely YOUR problem, but I've kept this bottled up long enough. Believe me, while I hate what you've done here with Zecora, most of your fic is pretty well written. But I have something to say about character death to ALL authors out there that I really REALLY want to be heard, so if you don't mind, I really feel I should explain something here. Because from what I've seen here, I really think that it's time it should be addressed.

Death is not the sort of thing that should really be taken particularly lightly. Death is not a small event by any stretch of the imagination... At least not for a character. a TRUE character anyway. If it's just a mook, bystander, nameless dude in the background or something then it's somewhat more flexible. SOMEWHAT. It still should be treated with gravity but it doesn't need too much time or effort devoted to it.

But the death of a character... a named, developed character... in Fanfiction or comics or even your own personal story. People need to learn that Death is not just something that you can use willy nilly on a character to "up the ante" or "add to the drama" or "make the reader sad." Death is not a tool. It is a serious plot event that needs to be treated as such.

If you have a character and you kill him/her off then you cannot use that character again. Like ever. (well, unless it's comics. then give it a few years and they'll come back to life somehow, but honestly, comics cheat and dying and being brought back to life is actually kinda disrespectful in itself and really quite cheap if you ask me, but that's a discussion for another time). The thing is that you need to realize that when a character dies, that's it. Death is a full cessation of mental processes. A commencement of bodily decomposition and a full destruction of brain function. When you are dead, you are GONE. and you are not coming back.

Such an event should be treated with the sort of weight that deserves, right? A life has just been snuffed out. All the beautiful thoughts that a brain can think are gone and all of the beautiful mechanics of the body have failed and are rotting. An event like this has real gravity.

So why do so many authors treat death like it can be just shrugged off?

I see it all too often. In Fanfiction in particular. I see it a lot in original stories too, but that's got a little more wiggle room.

What this is is just plain disrespect. It's disrespectful to the characters. It's disrespectful to the original creators. And it's disrespectful to the readers.

You see, when you build a character, you are by and large creating a person. Your own little being in their own world. When you name and develop a character, they take on a life of their own. When an author snuffs out a life without any thought or tribute and does it in a way that seems uncaring, it's a sign of a lousy writer, at least on a character level, and probably more levels than just that.

Killing a character to get a story moving is a sign that the writer is weak. They have no other way to add tension or drama or suspense so they say "Here's a character we all love dying! Can you see that the situation is serious now?!" And in doing something like that, they usually neglect to show any understanding or emotion or love for the character. A character... a life... fictional though it may be, someone that people love and people put effort into shaping... has been snuffed out and the author doesn't care. He doesn't expect us to care. He just wants to get the plot moving and show "OMG BAD STUFFS IS HAPPENINGZ." Of course, don't bother to put any EFFORT into it. Don't bother to build up suspense or dread in some other way. Just make a character die. That'll show the audience that things are bad!

And it tends to piss readers off, and with good reason. Chances are they liked this character. Having the character lowered to nothing more than a plot device... someone who might as well not have a name or even a face tends to be angering. Someone you've enjoyed seeing in the past just being blown to pieces in a sad attempt to get some emotional response out of a reader or get a plot moving without any effort... it's really REALLY infuriating.

Now... I'm not saying that a character should never die, but if an author is going to kill a character, they need to be sure to kill a character off RIGHT. They need to know the gravity of the event they put in motion in the eyes of the reader. They need to prove that they know what they're doing and they know how we feel about the character, and that they know how we'll feel to see them go.

They can do this in a number of ways.

For one thing, they can have the character die in a way that proves that the author has an understanding of who the character was. They have them die in a manner that is suitable and heroic for their character. For example, Supergirl's death in Crisis on Infinite Earths. Here was a girl who, against all odds would stand up against the ultimate evil in the universe and do everything she could to beat it down. In an effort to save lives she stood up against the villain and would not back down. What did she do? She punched him. And then she punched him again. And again. And again. And again. The author proved just how heroic she was... just how much she was willing to sacrifice... just how much she cared about the people around her in just a short action sequence before she was finally taken down. That is a heroic death. That is a respectful death.

Of course, I'm not saying that all deaths need to have hollywood style heroics to them. Of course not. But there are other things you can do too. For example, you can simply spend your time developing the character and showing that you know... you REALLY know who it is that you're killing off. A good example is the Comedian from Watchmen. He died right at the start of the book (proving that it is also possible to use a death to get a plot rolling) but the rest of the book kept looking back on just who he was and just how he operated... the kind of person he was. It showed that Alan Moore knew about the character he was writing. He knew who he was and he wasn't going to hold back showing you just who he was. This is a much less action filled, but still viable way to show someone's death.

Or, if you like, you can do it in a purely emotional way. Show just how much of an impact this death has... how much you understand that this death has an impact, through the emotions of other characters. A good example would be Gwen Stacy's death from the Spiderman comics. After Gwen Stacy died after her neck broke when she fell off the GW Bridge, Spidey and Mary Jane were absolutely distraught. They remained distraught for years. This was a HUGE moment of emotion and character development for Peter Parker and Mary Jane and they felt the emotional loss of Gwen in every fibre of their being for a long LONG time (Until One More Day and... well... I'm not sure WHAT is going through their heads now...). And it kept flashing back to show how kind... how pure... how wonderful Gwen was. THis is a good, emotional way to show what you've lost.

There. Three good ways. Heroic, Intellectual, and Emotional. If somebody MUST kill off a character, this is the sort of way it should be done. And furthermore, it should really only be done if there is ABSOLUTELY no other choice. Character death is something that should never be just brushed over. It should really have a really good reason behind it. For example, if I may cite Ralph Dibny, the Elongated Man from DC comics who died in the event 52. Ralph Dibny was a character who had gone through the absolute most horrific tragedies in the DC universe. His wife was murdered by someone he thought was one of his best friends and then he lost his powers. But then he got one chance... one final chance to make a difference and he took it. He grabbed the bull by the horns and stopped an evil sorcerer named Felix Faust from utterly buttf*cking the whole world. and in the process, he finally was put at peace and reunited in the afterlife with his wife, Sue. Completing a final, powerful character arc... That's the sort of reason you put a character to his death. When it makes a truly good... powerful... emotional story.

Or, you can treat it like the death of the Wasp in Ultimate Marvel. Cannibalized by the Blob just to show that "Bad shit's going down."

Authors? Which would you rather have? It really isn't that hard a decision.

Respect characters, authors. Respect readers. Respect creators. Respect YOURSELF. Really think about the story you want to write. Wouldn't it be so much better if you treated death with the weight death carries in real life? Don't you think that would make us feel so much more, when you prove that this character... this good character went out in a way that was really right for them and that they will be remembered and honored? Don't just leave them lying in a ditch. All that'll do is make readers angry.

Mr. BIG MAC... admittedly you've done this a fair bit better than a lot of authors out there. You had the soldiers recognize her and mourn her for a short time, this is true... but ask yourself, did you really have to do this? Was there really no other way that you could prove that bad shit was going down? You already had Eminence in the forest. Was there no reason that he couldn't have died instead? It doesn't seem like you gave Zecora much more tribute than you would have given him (and I honestly think she deserves more attention and emotion than a barely named, undeveloped OC) so why couldn't he have died instead? Was there really no way to up the ante other than killing an established, beloved character? You could have done ANYTHING else. Had there be a forest fire? Had there be an enormous crater the size of New Jersey a ways into the forest? Or if you had to put Zecora in there are a ton of ways to add to the drama. Have her seriously wounded. Have them bring her back to the Ponyville hospital burned, beaten and half mad? Even if she was mortally wounded and would die soon on camera she could get in some description of what she saw or a warning or a few last heroic words or SOME aspect of character to prove you knew what you were getting rid of. Pretty much ANYTHING would have been better than just having her die offscreen... messily no less... with little to no attention paid.

Anyway... if anyone out there has read all of this, thank you for sitting through this whole little essay. I probably put way more effort into it than any fanfiction deserves but... I love a good story more than pretty much anything. I'm of the mind that there are few things in this world better than a well told story. And when I keep seeing authors... ANY author mind you, not just BIG MAC... treating death as little more than a basic plot motivator, it really gets me angry, and I've been keeping this in for a long time now.

So I hope that I've reached at least one person and haven't come across as too crazy or fanatical. Because poorly written death is really something that needs to stop.

Pretty good writing, but with a few noticeable spelling errors (i.e., 'moral' should be spelled morale). There also wasn't too much in the way of 'action' this chapter, which is completely understandable given that it is the first - meaning it's essentially exposition. However, I am rather disappointed in the death of Zecora, and while 12173 has a point, just because the readers didn't watch her die in this story, doesn't mean she didn't go out with an appropriate bang. Don't misconstrue what I say, I am perfectly fine with the death of a character in the manner you have chosen. I just happen to be a Zecora fan, and feel she doesn't get enough proper screen time (fanfiction in general). Hehe. But I digress. Keep up the writing, I look forward to more, and from one dream-weaver to another, good luck and have fun.

ho shit Baked Bads you wrote alot, great point to, i hate when fanfic kill off characters in shit ways, to me that kills the story and ruins the mood

[Big-Mac-115]

12173
12182
12184

I am replying mostly to the Anonymous at the top, but I suppose it goes without saying that the other two comments below it deserve acknowledgment as well.

I understand what you are saying, and although I must disagree with most of your statement up to the part where you said I could have killed off Eminence (which, now that I think about it, what was I thinking?), I share your feelings; there are certain things that I see in writing that vex me as well. Also, I only used the death of Zecora to demonstrate the brutality and mercilessness of the Covenant, and I admit, I suppose it could have been demonstrated in a better way.

I haven't the time to write a lengthy response, but I will say this: I don't plan on having a main, developed character die in the story for a LONG time, probably several chapters from now. However, you brought up good ideas. I am now highly considering re-writing a large portion of the second-to-last portion of this, and possibly extending it into Chapter Two, to give Zecora more proper respect (I doubly admit that it could and SHOULD have been done better.

That said, I think I will have it done by Friday. So you should check back in over the weekend, and that goes for all.

Other than this, ahem, (minor) incident, I think you'll end up enjoying the rest of the story. As I said, you are right in more ways than one, I should have led Zecora to a better and more well-rounded end, but I think I may have struck an Idea of how to fix this, while still making it an end that everyone can enjoy.

[Black Alicorn]

Problem with the Covies.
They all lived on High Charity right?
And High Charity was taken over by the Flood.
All remaining Covenant were on the ships that attacked Earth, which then flew to the Ark.
But then, the Flood came to the Ark, took out a lot of the humans and Covenant.
Arby and MC stayed behind and blew up the Ark, killing everything that remained on it.
Flood, Covenant, everything. At least the way the Halo 3 ending puts it, all species of Covenant, except the Elites, goes extinct.

[Raven]

10453

Actually, according to some of the novels, there a few Spartans left (inc the MC) last one I read they were with Dr. Halsey.

[Big-Mac-115]

12257

Yes, but remember: the Covenant live separately on their own homeworlds, even though they were all part of the overall Covenant Empire. The Jiralhanae (Brutes) lived on their own planet, but sadly the name of said planet was never mentioned in the Halo series, even in the books. The Unggoy (Grunts) originally came from the planet Balaho, which was destroyed by a collapse of its society prior to their introduction to the Covenant. However, in Halo: The Cole Protocol, it specifically mentions that the Unggoy had a large populace on the Jackal homeworld, and that the Jackals willingly shared it with them toward the end of the Covenant's destruction. So it is safe to assume that the aforementioned symbiotic relationship continued. The name of the Kig-Yar (Jackal) home planet also remains unmentioned, but it is said that they established colonies on asteroids near Chu'ot, which was originally a colony used by the Insurrectionists until it was also invaded by the Covenant. So, between the Kig-Yar and Unggoy, they have a large, sustainable home planet, along with several colonies on the asteroid system of Chu-ot (which is a very large asteroid system), so they have plenty of room to go around. The San 'Shyuum (Prophets) had their planet of Janjur Qom, but that was destroyed shortly following the destruction of the Halo rings, so yes, you are right about them being extinct. The Mglalekgolo (Hunters) originated from the planet of Te, and since they are actually not capable of creating their own armor or technology, they were only brought into the Covenant because of their strength and combat ability. As far as the Halo series says, they still live on Te, but without any way to leave, so they may or may not be part of the New Covenant. The Yanme'e (Drones) originated from Palamok, but are now found on pretty much every surviving planet of the Old Covenant's empire, due to their usefulness and skills with mechanics. And the Huragok (Engineers)....... Well, their homeworld was also destroyed, but they found some new allies after the war..... IF you happen to remember who said allies are...

Also, if you read the wiki... "While the Covenant's leadership was either lost during the Flood infection of High Charity or during the Battle of Installation 00, the Covenant continues to exist even after the conclusion of the war. In exactly what capacity it continues to operate in remains unknown...." This is an ominous enough statement enough as it is, which is actually where I got the idea for this. I am actually greatly surprised no-one ever tried to write a fanfiction about the New Covenant before.

12173 dude your an idiot death shouldnt be taking that seriously fo multiple reasons 1st its aa much a part of life as sex or birth if authors didnt do stuff like this some storys would be boring and so on

[Big-Mac-115]

12373

I feel the exact same way. Listen, Baked Bads, I would have said it a nicer way, but this is kinda exactly how I feel about this. I understand that you don't like the whole thing about a main character dying at the beginning, but the story isn't neccessariy about you, and while you did bring up a good point, this is MY writing style, MY story, and MY fanfiction. I'm sorry is it doesn't please you to the fullest. Hell, if you don't like it, you don't HAVE to read it, but don't base your rating on JUST the end of the first chapter. I know you gave it a 0.5, and that's actually a bit pathetic; you haven't even seen the GOOD parts yet. Think of this as that opening scene in Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith. Count Duku dies in a pretty fast, non-heroic way, and the movie was still phenomenal (and I'm not saying Zecora was a villain, but the basic concept is the same).

I guess I just don't have the same feelings about death as you. It's like lunarassassin said; it's a part of life, and it happens all the time. Don't get your panties in a wad just because it happens to one of your favorite characters.

But I dunno. You DID have a good idea with keeping Zecora alive for awhile, and although I'm still not going to disclose how I should do it, I'm highly considering it. I'm not sure.

What do you guys think? Should Zecora live for awhile longer, instead having Eminence die in her place, and Zecora have a major role even after she dies? Or should I keep it like it is? Lemme know either in the comments or private messaging. I'm not going to decide until I get a decent number of people to vote, so go ahead and do so. I can guarantee one thing though: if Zecora lives, and she ends up having the somewhat-major role that I said she would, you're going to enjoy it either way.

Zecora is dead.
Even that Bleeding-heart critic up at the top should realize that in War, people die. Lots of people. Bullets do not care if they are somebody's friend, they don't pause in reverence for life, they just proceed on their merry way through the skull they are pointed at, ripping their designated soft target to pieces in an instant.
Zecora died because a series of plasma bolts ripped through her midsection, tearing her in half.
WHY?
Because dead ponies tell no tales. Just because a character could play a significant role in something will not keep them alive.
I am training to join the military. If I step off the plane when I ship somewhere, and I get shot, guess what?
I am dead. No amount of character, no number of friends I have, nothing is going to change that.
So it is in life, so it is in fiction.

You sir, are reading a fiction that involves war. You will find little chapters devoted to the other characters bitching and moaning about how their friend died because some cruel author absolutely loves to torment bleeding-heart readers, and kills off his characters wantonly. You may, however, find chapters about characters planning to avenge their fallen friend, and either succeeding, or dying themselves in the process.
Ad yet, the story goes on.

So I ask you, what should the soldiers have done when they found Zecora? Should they have taken their moment of reverence further, into breaking down in tears and all that good shit? Or maybe holding a little funeral there in the woods?
Or should they have done what they did, carrying out their duty and moving onward?

Let me tell you, while the Marines never leave men behind, they would not do much good if they stopped to whine and bitch and cry every time one of their brothers-in-arms fell. They are much better served shooting the hell back while whining and bitching and crying, and then later mourning when the time is right.

So my point is: Quit bitching, or I may kill you.

12373

Dude. You're an idiot. You make assumptions about what I'm saying and you don't even read my comment or think about what I'm saying in it. Also, birth and sex are serious parts of life as well. And just for the record, your grammar is atrocious. Fail troll is fail.

12381

Okay. Dude. Don't accuse me of anything. I didn't even rate it at all before. But okay, you want my rating? It's a 3. The story isn't bad in itself, But I didn't feel properly introduced to the concepts of the Halo Universe and points taken off for Zecora. (Also I didn't go see Revenge of the Sith. I gave up on the Star Wars prequels long before it came out)

I understand that death is a part of life, and it's a part of life that must be faced. It's a part of life as much as sex and birth, but the thing is... honestly? these are big events too. Well, maybe not so much sex, but birth is a relatively big event. For the family, for the infant, it's the sort of thing that changes everything. Maybe not on a massive scale but on a family scale certainly. And there are all sorts of complications and things that can go wrong that can make it a huge deal, at least for a family. Death is similar. The loss of a person or a character is a big thing among the friends and loved ones, and it's certainly the BIGGEST thing for the one dying. When we have a character driven universe like MLP, this is the sort of thing that has and should have a lot of impact.

Truthfully, I do feel that she should be left alive longer, especially since she seems one of the most likely candidates of the known ponies that could understand any form of combat given where she lives and the mysteriousness of her homeland, as well as her obvious athleticism seen through those meditation techniques... but that's just me.

12401

Boy. I hope the vast majority of our military isn't like you. Otherwise it's no wonder they keep getting blown up. A bunch of mouth-breathing brutes that don't even read comments before they start to accusing people making intelligent points about literature bitches.

Unlike you do to me, I shall not wish harm upon you, good sir, but try to explain my point in smaller words so the likes of you shall understand it.

When a guy dies in battle then you're right. There's no time to stop and cry. You need to keep shooting the bad guys in the face. But after the battle then there is going to be a funeral where the dead guy's family and friends will be sad and think about all the times they had with the dead guy when he was still alive. They will remember the dead guy as the person he was.

So far, this story has not given us anything like this, nor has it suggested there will be anything like this and it doesn't look like it is interested in making it this way, unless the author decides to revise Zecora's death. Zecora died offscreen and the soldiers basically just shrugged. This is not how a character should die or how other characters should react.

Also, there was nobody intending to avenge Zecora, just so you know. That would also be an okay way to pay tribute to her character.

And it does not even take all that much to kill off a character right. I gave three ways she could have gone out. You seem to be stuck on the emotional one. He could have gone for intellectual or heroic and it would have been just as good.

My point? Smart up and read my comment before you go off on a bender about how "WRONG AND BITCHY AND BABYISH" I am.

[Big-Mac-115]

12458

"But after the battle then there is going to be a funeral where the dead guy's family and friends will be sad and think about all the times they had with the dead guy when he was still alive. They will remember the dead guy as the person he was.

So far, this story has not given us anything like this, nor has it suggested there will be anything like this and it doesn't look like it is interested in making it this way, unless the author decides to revise Zecora's death."

Precisely MY point; the battle is NOT over. It has all but just begun. And don't make assumptions. Imagine you were one of the guards. Would YOU have stopped right there and given somepony you barely knew existed and had never met before a massive funeral, or would you have been worried for the rest of the ponies from suffering the same fate, and returned to report the incident? Personally, I would have stayed there longer and waited for the killer to rear their ugly head again so I could give them a piece of my mind, but that wouldn't be the right, or smart, thing to do. My characters did what was right: they put their focus on protecting everyone else, knowing that there was little more they could have done for Zecora. They promised to get a team out to recover the body, and conduct further investigation on it, and there would be a formal funeral after. But it's like you said. The battlefield is NOT the place for mourning or remembrances, the battlefield is the place for kicking ass and making the enemy regret taking the life of those you mourn.

And also, I'm not trying to be offensive or discourage you any further, but if you haven't played any of the Halo games enough to understand the prologue, the rest of this fiction is only going to be even more difficult to comprehend. But by all means, stick around for the rest of the story. Reading that massive article you posted, I think you're going to like the way some of the other characters go out (well, not necessarily 'like', but not dislike as much. And not very many more of the characters die, but the ones that do, and the way that it happens, will be more suspenseful and most likely more suited for YOUR particular taste than this scene). And I've made my decision; I am not changing the plot from the way it is now based on what you say.

[ThatBastard]

Stop your complaining about death.
12458
While you have a point with your original comment it was too fucking long so don't 'flame on' at me because I only read about half. But just stop.

12497
I am enjoying your fiction immensely and have a hard time wondering why it's not being featured. I don't find fault with the fact that Zecora was killed, as this is exactly what a brute scouting party does. But as ruthless as they are, they are still precise and swift warriors. The level of damage is way over the top, to both the area and Zecora's body. Unless she was intentionally ripped apart (like brutes have been seen doing in game) plasma alone does not have enough kinetic energy to tear through flesh. Instead it burns and cooks part of the body to kill.
So you could imagine Zecora chilling in her home when two huge beasts break down the door and either shoot her with plasma rifles or physically bash her. It would have been done quietly. But then what if she dodged the attack and got out? The she would be fired upon as she runs for her life, plasma whizzing past her to hit the trees, scorching the plants but not causing them to catch alight instantly. Then she would be hit. Zecora would either die quickly from the first shot, be bashed to death, shot more, or torn apart. The choice is yours but consider that the aim of a scout is to find out information concerning an area without being discovered by the enemy.
Something else i thought I would bring up is that in the military, when you've been called to appear before the princess to serve, you would be dressed and ready! In the defense force there is no waiting around. You get it done quickly and efficiently, and that elite squad wouldn't have taken an hour before flying off to find that colt. They would have take, ten-twenty minutes. How do i know this? I'm an air force cadet, and we had 50 minutes to wake up, shower, get dressed. It took me half that and I was the first outside, AND i'm just a recruit. The corporals and other higher ranks were ready before everyone.
So hopefully you can use this to make soldiers less like video game characters. Unless that's what you want... then go ahead.

[Big-Mac-115]

12556

Hmm, you do have a point there. Although I was only using the destruction and death of Zecora to, once again, demonstrate the ruthlessness and destructive capability of the Covenant, you are indeed correct; a scouting party of any kind wouldn't create such a mess. Perhaps I should edit it a tad so that the younger brute is a bit too enthusiastic about killing his first victim, and therefore goes overboard with it.......? 'Twould make more sense. I think I will do it.

But I also want to point out another thing: believe me, I know the military is tough, and I plan on keeping it that way, at least on the UNSC's behalf. I've planned to make the Solar Imperial Army slightly more lenient and not quite as heavy-handed as the UNSC Core (Let's face it: Equestria is a place based around the concept of peace, friendship, and all those goodie-goodie things. It would only make sense if their military was easier-going as well). I plan on making the UNSC a hard, tough, and incredibly disciplined unit, just like our military would be today............... If that makes sense.

[Black Alicorn]

12367

Oh. Sorry, all my knowledge of the Halo series comes from the games.....

[ThatBastard]

12596
I know. It makes sense that Equestrian forces be a little more flexible, and easy going.

I also understand your idea that the younger brute be more brutish. But keep in mind that brutes use their incredible strength a lot of the time so if he were to go overboard it would be with him smashing through Zecora's home and not necessarily using his plasma rifle/brute spiker/whatever.

12670
Most of my knowledge comes from the games too. Except for Dr. Halsey's journal which came with the limited edition of Halo: Reach.

[Big-Mac-115]

12670
12683

It doesn't relly matter if your knowledge comes from the game or otherwise; it'l all be undetstood soon enough. And really, only a Halo fanatic of such caliber as myself would even know most of that information by heart, anyways.

12458

Nice little Ad Hominum fallacy you started out with, that shows that you have style.
Unfortunately, your grasp of the English language fails to impress:
''A bunch of mouth-breathing brutes that don't even read comments before they start to accusing people making intelligent points about literature bitches.''
Not only do you start out with a poor attempt to attack my person, but you also finish off your first paragraph with a sentence fragment. In addition, I do not even know what to make of the addition of the last word. Literature bitches? Is this some sort of fad involving strapping books to dogs that I have not heard of yet?

''Unlike you do to me, I shall not wish harm upon you, good sir, but try to explain my point in smaller words so the likes of you shall understand it.''
Haha, yet ANOTHER ad hominum fallacy, in the very next paragraph! So far, you are 2 for 2 when it comes to logical fallacies, and believe me, I feel one-hundred percent of your condescension weighing down on me every time you do it. How could I not, with your obviously superior intellect staring me down from my computer screen?
In addition, you spoke in your first paragraph of not reading comments, and yet you say that I wished harm upon you with my last sentence when with the most cursory of readings you would have understood that I inserted that last bit purely for ironic effect, bearing in mind the subject being discussed.

Now, for me to address the next two paragraphs would be completely redundant since my good friend Mac has already done just that, so I shall skip to the last sentence, which is in effect a summary of the first two:
''My point? Smart up and read my comment before you go off on a bender about how "WRONG AND BITCHY AND BABYISH" I am.''
More ad hominum, yada yada, commentary of this paragraph is now done.

In short, your overt use of the ad hominum tactic as a red herring(Another fallacy!) disappoints me, and your condescension proves tiresome.But the one thing that you wrote that really elicits a response from me?
"Otherwise it's no wonder they keep getting blown up."
Not only is that utterly callous, but downright disrespectful to the dead, and to the military.

A lot of people pull the "I don't agree with your opinion, but I will fight to the death your right to have it'' card when they are faced with something like this. How many of them do you think would really do it? How many train every day just so that they can?
Now, seeing as I am going to be giving up a lot of my rights soon, and writing a blank check to the U.S.A. for ''Up to and including my life,'' for the sole purpose of fighting for your rights, I can tell you that you can take your opinion, and your logical fallacies, and shove them RIGHT UP YOUR ASS.

[Big-Mac-115]

13775

It's basically just him ranting about how he hates the fact that Zecora died, and he says that I should change it and make it better. I did read it all, though (a waste of time).

[Super_Big_Mac]

>>A REPLY TO EVERYONE ABOVE<<

Shut the FUCK up, alright?!? Sure, it sucked that Zecora died. these soldoers didn't know her personally. They feel bad because they failed her. They are sickened by her death because They don't know what could have done something so terrible. They go to prep a burial task force to collect her and perform a funeral service - whether it actually happens is something I will find out in later chapters.

I hate the death of Zecora as much as you,
But I do not do as you with anger to brew.
Rather I shed a tear for her lost life,
And prepare myself for impending strife.

Pray for the creatures of this wood,
For unlike yours, their hearts are good.
They do not hate for the reason of act,
But strive to survive a breached pact.

Lives spent in a war are immortalized,
In every way possible, memorized.
You do Zecora not a single just,
Saying death should be robust.

Peace, Zebritches.

[DJ Cobalt]

33832 you made the most sense than everybody else up top

[Moon_Fire]

12134 that's funny right there!

[Moon_Fire]

you should really consider ponyfying this a little more
you know change UNSC to UESC, change Spartan to Stallion, small details like that

[Moon_Fire]

12161 not me, my story has no deaths in it but it will have alot of action if you want to know more about it just look up The Life of Moonfire

[The Commandant]

12134
as in, NOPE.avi
trollolololol

[SonicStreak5344]

Chief if your in this you better get to the planet fast!!!!