Granny Smith has recently passed away and it has come at a huge blow for the Apple Family. Because of that the family has to adjust and Applejack has been overworking herself. To solve that problem, Big Macintosh has decided to enlist the help of some family and friends in order to help cover up some of the farm work. Of course even with the Apple Family down a member, the family is still about to grow even larger then before.
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Ah, so this is going to be the first of the Apple Family fics that you promised us? I look forward to reading them. This one is getting along well and I know that you will make it great. Keep up the great writing!
Looks promising! Poor Granny Smith
Also, the hat AJ wears is a Stetson, not a Stinson.
2347739 Thanks.
2347742 Well she was old. Naturally that was going to happen at sometime.
And to think that I was initially not going to mention what kind of hat AJ wears on account of my lack of hat knowledge. Aw well, good to know so I can fix it.
Its a sad loss, but I kind of like the story. I want to see what happenes
Not too sad....
realistic....
straight shipping?
.....you may continue good sir. My only advice is to flesh out the details/go a bit slower on some points. The part where you explained Big Mac not trusting caramel and such seemed very rushed and choppy
2347800 Thanks
2348497 Yeah looking back at that part it probably should have had a few more paragraphs to it to better explain it. I pretty much stuffed three paragraphs into one.
2352192 More?
2353285 Hopefully later tonight. But I don't know. I'll get it done when I get it done.
'tis a good chapter....but a bit too much telling instead of showing.
'Big mac thinks this."
'applejack is this'
does that make sense?
2359303 So basically the explanation of what Caramel did to get himself kicked of the farm would have been better if I did it in a memory sequence to where I would have the characters actually live out the part instead of just making a paragraph explaining what happened? As an example.
2359748
Yep. That'd be better, I think ^_^
Okay...so this has been a fairly consistent problem with your writing, one that I've overlooked so far, but it was really glaring in this chapter. You need to be consistent with your verb tenses. You keep switching between past and present tense, particularly when you're switching from descriptive to active writing. You need to pick one tense (probably past tense, since it's the more dominant one) and stick with it. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, lets take a look at the first paragraph:
Going on the assumption that writing in the past tense was meant to be your standard mode (as is the case for most stories), the italicized words are in the wrong tense. The "right now" in the first sentence helps throw things off in that regard, so it would be best to get rid of it along with other phrases that might lead you to confuse your verb usage. With some basic corrections, this is what that paragraph should look like.
Maintaining a consistent tense helps your narrative flow better and becomes much easier to read as a result. You're a good writer, so it pains me to see you stumble on an issue like this.
2361915 Looking through I can kinda see what you mean. When I have the time I'm going to look through that last chapter and see if I can try and fix it up. Would you mind rereading it after I'm done fixing it to see if I've got the right idea? Because I would very much like to correct it and become a better writer.
2362449 I'd be happy to.
Y'all is not spelled like ya all. Y'all is a contraction of the words you and all, it can used to adress a single person or 2 or more. I'm from Texas so it gets on my nerves please change it.
2364417 Well excuuuuse me...alright I fixed it.
There you go.
2362694 Ok I think I got it. Would you mind going through and checking chapter 2 for me just to make sure?
It's looking better, but you still have some slip-ups here and there. For example:
That should be was. While you seem to have caught a lot of the big ones, I'm still catching little things like this here and there.
2364925 I actually sort of blame find for that. I put is on the word finder in MW but the problem was it also marks things like his so I had to sort through that. But otherwise I have the general idea right?
2364992 Eeyup.
2364817 Hehe. Thanks. Sorry if I just messed up your writing just trying to help you improve. I've been sick all week so I'm kinda grumpy and picky.
Good chapter.
Fluttermac is hard to write for and most people can't do it. I tried it too but wrote myself into a corner. It took me a month just to figure out how they would say hello so I just gave up! I'm better off sticking with the visual arts
The narrator can call him Big Mac but you can have the characters address him as Big Macintosh or when Fluttershy is addressing him seriously, just 'Macintosh' sounds good. It's more intimate that way.
i think that its fine that youre switching between big mac and big macintosh they are both the same stallion. MOre? Please?
Excellent. You have come far young grasshopper.
This is a big improvement over how your first (published) draft of the last chapter came out. I didn't notice any inconsistent tenses right off the bat, so I'd say you definitely have the right idea. Keep up the good work. 
2407375 Yeah I would never even if you paid me, make a how they got together fic. I do not have that much ability.
2408003 More will come. Slowly probably but it will come.
2408707 Yes I have made sure that y'all is y'all since now I know. (And knowing is half the battle)
2409327 Yep. I've got on a note the common mistakes I make when it comes to present vs. past tense so when I'm done with a chapter and editing it I can use word find to make sure I fix those mistakes.
Let's DO this! Can't wait for the next chapter! /) B) have some sunglasses
D'awwww
how sweet. Also, Rarity letting Spike down easy seems good, I've seen some fics where she flat out rejects him and he went all crazy.
*inhales* moremroemroemroemoremmore!
please?
Well given that no concrete numbers have been given, we can't be absolutely certain how wide the age gap really is. The way dragons tend to work suggests that Spike might remain a "baby" for upwards of a century or so, which doesn't help matters. Ultimately, it falls to an author's interpretation.
2445487 Yeah I prefer not having Rarity downright rip Spike's heart out. I mean, I'm sure Rarity does appreciate Spike for all he does, it's just their age gap.
2445956 It'll come. Slowly because I have a musical all weekend but it will come.
2446407 Well that is true, because for all we know ponies don't even age the same way as human ages go. However if it does, I assume based off what I've seen in the show that most ponies get their CM's at somewhere around age 8-12, and since Spike was born the exact same day Twilight and pretty much the rest of the mane 6 got her CMs that would mean that the age gap, at least in my mind. And I've always personally assumed that Rarity was the oldest of the mane 6 so she would be somewhere closer to the 12 part. Of course it is all up to the writer and I don't mind seeing Sparity fics, it's just based on my interpretation it's a bit of an age gap.
2447155 Break a leg with the musical.
(meaning good luck with that.)
Cousin Jay Jay? Who is that?
2460409 Applejack
This was a really 200% AWESOME chapter! This shouldn't be the last chapter and if you want, You can message me and I will help you out with some ideas.
If this is the last chapter I would: 
2473190>>2473861 What I'm probably thinking about doing, I'm still not sure, is maybe putting up an epilogue for this fic, and then making another fic that directly follows this one, since the next fic will be in a different style from this one.
So the ideas for the story would continue, but in a different story for a different style.
2477938 works for me!
Good ending, but a few things did bother me.
First off, my last name is Belle, with an e. Remember when my sister was singing "I'm the belle of the ball, the star of the show"? Like that.
Second, Scoot's big paragraph of enthusiasm really should be broken into a few paragraphs for readability. Big blocks of text like that to get skimmed over. The Hay in there should be Hey, too.
This line needs fixing, as well:
Oh, you also didn't change the status to complete.
Still, looking forward to the sequel!
Awesome
and Soarin knew there parents, nice.
2497741
Got any recommendations as to how I could split it up? Because looking at it, you're right, I'm just not sure how I should split it.
I'd make some joke here but...nah. Anyways thanks. I sometimes forget I have to manually do that.
And overall, thanks.
Wait, what?
That ending was more than just a little twist. I sure hope that is explained in the sequel. And will you be letting us know here when the sequel comes out?
2498097 Yes, that ending will be explained more in the sequel. In fact I put it up here because of the fact that it is going to be important in the sequel.
As for informing you...I guess I'll make a reply later to you telling you when the sequel is up.
2497945
No problem.
I tried to split it up, but found myself changing wording and things in various places. Probably something like this, though:
2498128
If you write a blog post when the sequel is up, you could check the checkbox at the bottom for this story, to let everypony following the story know about it...
2498178>>2498200 Thanks. This is my first time trying to put action and dialogue together with the same person/pony doing it, so it's nice to have that frame of reference. (Though the italicization for emphasis would be an absolute killer on dA because of how editing works there). And thanks for telling me how to let everypony watching this story know about the sequel. I'll be sure to do that.
2498251
Glad to help! Aside from breaking things up so that you never had more then two quotes per paragraph, I also reduced some repetitive phrasing, and rephrased things a bit, either so they sounded better, or sounded the way Scootaloo would say them.
All the emphasis was largely because I could hear Scootaloo putting the emphasis there in my head.
Oh, and I think you missed one of the Sweetie Bell's, and also:
should be:
Oh...my...gosh. That...was... AWESOME! I want more if possible!
Or I will go a bit
2500745 There will be more, it will just be in the sequel.
So Soarin has some deep dark personal connection to pie. I'm almost intrigued
I be waitin' for the sequel.
2501595 Awesome sauce!